Chapter 13—First Kill

I woke up beside my fratello, as always. I smiled, feeling actually good today.

You awake, lazy-ass?

Yup. Ready for anther round?

Si.

You sound stressed.

Well, gee. I wonder why. Not like everybody and their fucking mother's watching my goddamned memories right now or anything. I answered sarcastically.

Jesus! Sorry! Damn, what crawled up your ass and died?

My ambition, asshole.

You're no ray of sunshine, either. He quipped. Come on, you'll need me when we get there. That was pretty traumatic, you know.

Gee, ya don't say? You realize that your being there was part of the problem initially, right?

No, I was there as a result of the initial problem. Anyhow, you should probably wake up Sleeping Beauty over there. He chuckled.

"Vino~ Time to wake up~ We overslept a bit, and I can smell Miss Hungary's cooking~" I tempted him. He may never admit it, but he loved Hungary's cooking.

Romano cracked open a deep green eye. "Food?" He mumbled, making sure he heard right. If he was going to put forth the effort to actually climb out of bed he wanted to make sure it was for 'a damn good reason', as he put it.

"Si. Food. Miss Hungary's." I said with a playful smirk. He closed his eye again, before stretching.

"Damnit! I wanted to sleep a bit more!" He said, reaching his arms above his head as he spoke. "Ah, whatever. It's food, so I guess I'll get up." He finally concluded.

I chuckled a bit at my brother's antics. He could be so simple sometimes~ I, too, stretched and got up.

"What memory do you think it'll start with?" Romano asked suddenly. I grimaced at the reminder of the memories.

"I really don't know..."

"You have a feeling don't you?"

"Not one of those feelings, but yes; I have an idea."

"Well?"

"I'm no fortune-teller," Romano snorted. "but so far the memories we've seen are all important memories to who we are. They were events that shaped us into the people we are today. What was the next significant memory of our young life?" I asked him. Romano paled a bit.

"Our first kill..." He muttered.

"Hmm..." I hummed in agreement. "It was my first physical kill, but your first kill regardless. We were both shaken up."

"Yeah, but you kept your head; I nearly lost it." Romano said.

"It wasn't easy. But I considered my first kill the day I received my winter abilities. It helped that I killed them with it. Besides... I don't think my mental state at the time could be considered 'keeping my head'." I reminded him.

"Y-yeah... Let's head down to breakfast. I'm starving!" Romano said, heading out the room and towards the kitchen. I sighed and shook my head.

"What am I going to do with you?" I asked myself with a tiny smile.

By the time we got down to breakfast, most everyone was already there. "You overslept!" France said, "Luckily we saved you some breakfast~"

"Luckily?! Considering the fact that you're watching our fucking memories, I'd say we've earned a fucking breakfast." Romano said.

"Ve~ Vino~ Here's your cappuccino~" I said, pushing the cup into his hands. He gratefully took a long drink from it.

"No shots?" He asked, disappointed.

"Nope. It's not in the kitchen, I checked. Only cappuccinos." I replied, grabbing my own cup and taking a nice long drink. "Ve~ Sorry about him. He's always a little cranky until he gets his morning coffee~!"

"Oi! Don't apologize for me bastard! Besides, I did nothing wrong!"

"Sure you didn't." I said.

"It's quite alright," England said, gesturing to America, who looked ready to drop dead at any moment. "He's never awake until his fifth cup of coffee... At least."

"Nineteenth, actually." Canada corrected, nursing his own coffee, which smelled strongly of maple syrup.

"Nineteenth?! How is he not having a heart attack!?" France asked, shocked.

"This kind of coffee is nothing. You should see what he orders at Starbucks. 19 cups of 6-shot espresso with 5 extra shots; each. He drinks 19 of those, and then he's awake for the day." Canada answered. Even I was surprised. Sure I knew he drank a lot of coffee. With as many kids as he has, I don't blame him. But that much?! He should be on the floor...

Well, he could function just fine in the Mansion without his coffee.

Yeah, but he was human there. I reminded Yang.

"No wonder he's always bouncing off the walls..." England muttered to himself.

"Aiyaa! I've seen the prices there! If you have money to waste on Starbucks like that every day, you have money to pay me back, aru!" China shouted.

"Dude... waaay too fucking early to talk politics... or debts... or anything... Besides, I own a good share of Starbucks, so I drink there for free." America mumbled, looking into his empty cup. "Mattieeeee~ more pleaseee~" He demanded in a whiny tone. Canada sighed and refilled his cup. Again.

He mumbled an incoherent thanks as he took another large gulp. Where did he get that kind of metabolism? Sure, mine was fast, but he could pack away the carbs like nobody's business. I was only as fit as I was because of all the physical activity I got between Germany's 'training' (I scoffed at it; I worked harder doing delivery jobs in the mafia!) and the mafia.

Plus, Romano and I sparred often, which was a sight to see... Or it was before the Mansion. America? Sure, he was active with his kids, and he sometimes helped out with the FBI and CIA and other organizations of his country, but he also owed a hell of a lot of his good figure to his fast metabolism.

"Haha. Geez, I knew you drank a lot of coffee, but this is ridiculous!" South Korea chuckled as he nursed his tea.

"Speaking of... any idea how you two got here? Or why?" Germany asked the new arrivals.

"Perhaps because they're close to Ita?" Prussia shrugged.

"Well, that might explain Hungary, but what about South Korea?" England asked.

"Actually, Yong Soo and I are pretty close. We've been good friends for years. Not my fault nobody noticed." I shrugged.

"Yeah! The three of us are practically a trio!" America grinned, throwing an arm around South Korea.

"You never told me this?" Romano raised an eyebrow in interest.

"It's a long story, and I'm pretty sure it'll be revealed soon enough." I waved it off. My brother shrugged and accepted the answer. We both had things we didn't tell the other. There was no reason to be hurt.

Don't you three go pranking together?

Si. Though the three of us have been through some... err... hard times together.

Oh yeah! You were kidn—

Please don't. I cut him off mentally. It wasn't a time I liked to think about.

After everyone was fed and properly caffeinated, we sat down in the living room. "Oh, Ita... You don't have to do this if you don't want to..." Hungary said, pulling out her frying pan. "I'm sure I can find whoever cast this stupid spell and get them to reverse it!"

"There's no way out of this." Prussia said, "We've already tried everything."

Psh! You tried nothing! You just shut up and accepted it!

Yang... you're trying my last nerve, and it's still morning.

What can I say? Your ADHD is kicking my ass.

Time, please... I can't handle you so early... I quietly got up and made myself more coffee as I listened to the conversation. Only Japan, Romano and Canada noticed me get up, but neither said anything.

"But... But! There has to be something!" She demanded.

"The only other way is to kill the one hit by the spell. Since I'm sure we don't want to kill Italy, our only other option is to watch the memories." England stated. "Besides, he's a nation, so as soon as he revives, we'd be sucked back in, so it's really a moot point."

I shivered at the thought of one of them killing me, as I sat back down next to Romano. [A flash of metal and angry green eyes—]

NO! I cut off the flashback before I could fall too deeply again—Yang helped me to block it out. Romano noticed my distress, though.

–You okay?– He asked me silently, tapping on my arm in Morse code. I nodded my head.

–I'll be fine– I tapped on the back of his hand.

–You sure?–

–Si. Just... some bad memories.–

"Ve." I said quietly.

"Chigi."

"If you two are done..." America winked at us, showing that he'd 'heard' our conversation. Nobody else seemed to notice, though, not even Canada. I shot Romano a look. We need to be more careful.

The others headed towards the Door that would lead us to the next set of memories.

"One last thing." Romano said. The room paused to look at him. "We take a break whenever either I, or Feliciano deem it necessary. Regardless of where we are in the memory."

"Fair enough." Prussia said, before opening the door and stepping through.

"Joy." I muttered under my breath, stepping through as well.

We found ourselves in the middle of a bustling town. It seemed to be a few centuries later. So we were right then... I thought to myself. Sometimes, I really wish my instincts weren't always right.

"It's about 491 BC. We're 262 years old here." Romano said as the others blinked at the sudden year jump.

All sorts of people were milling about. The nations looked around themselves in either nostalgia—the older ones—or awe—the younger ones.

"So where are you two?" America asked, not seeing us in the crowd. We didn't say a word. Instead, we pointed mechanically towards a dark alleyway. The nations looked.

It was decrepit, and shadowed heavily, but they could barely make out two distinct curls hiding under old patched-up hats. The twins looked about 11 now, showing that their aging was slowing down quite a lot. They were wearing old, dirty patched-up coats to match their patched-up hats. They looked like poor beggars. With a start, the nations realized they probably were.

The twins eyed the crowds milling about with critical eyes. Vivid green and molten gold stared with incredible focus. Neither twin had a trace of a smile, and they both wore hard expressions.

Feliciano was the first to make a move. He plastered a soft, innocent smile on his face, as he deliberately bumped into an older lady who looked very well off. She was wearing a fur coat, and expensive jewelry on every finger. She was also rather plump, showing that she had good wealth.

"Oh! Sorry, ma'm." Feliciano said in a heavy accent. If the nations didn't know any better, they'd say it was real. The woman looked ready to reprimand him, but stopped when he held up her wallet. The nations raised an eyebrow. If he was a pickpocket, he was doing a pretty shitty job.

"Y-ya dropped this, ya see. I... I thought ya'd like it back... I took nothin'! I swear!" He said, smiling. The woman narrowed her eyes and swiped her wallet back, looking through it while keeping a firm eye on the boy. She raised her eyebrows when she saw that, indeed, nothing was taken.

"I see. Thank you for returning this to me, young man. Take this." She gave him some coins, and walked off, completely missing Feliciano sticking his tongue out at her back. He walked back over to his brother in the shadows.

"She actually gave you something this time." Lovino said with surprise.

"Si... I was surprised, too. You got it, right?" Feliciano asked, holding up the handful of coins. It wasn't much. The woman had been very stingy.

"Do you even have to ask?" Lovino replied, holding up a coin purse. The nations stared.

"Wha—?!" England stammered. "But you! And he?! How?!"

"Huh? Simple. I distracted her by making her shuffle through her wallet, because they're so trusting these days," I said, rolling my eyes, "while Vino snuck up discreetly and took anything good in her purse. Sometimes we'll change roles, and others we'll do a double-heist, where one of us will take the desired object at the same moment the other bumps into the target. Then there are the times when we 'snatch-and-dash' so to speak." The nations stared at us, the whole thing foreign to them.

Sure, nations have lived in hard times before, but they'd never been on the streets. No matter how bad things got, a nation was never homeless. They'd always have a place to return to with at least some food. They never had to resort to stealing unless their government was completely against them. I believe Japan had to steal at one point in his life, but it wasn't for food. It was stealing information, weapons, those sorts of things. Back when he was a ninja around the... Meiji era, I believe? When the Tokugawa era was ending and the Meiji Restoration was about to begin. I'm pretty sure that's right.

"You... you really had to steal to eat?" Hungary asked, tears in her eyes.

"Si... We'd go hungry otherwise. Besides... It wasn't just us." I said, turning back to the memory.

"Ve~ Let's go before we're caught again. Don't want Stronzo to find us." Feliciano said. Germany choked, hearing a swear word come out of 'my' mouth.

"W-What did you just say?!" He demanded.

"Ve~ Relax, Germany~ I said Stronzo, I know it means bastard, or asshole, and the like, but we nick-named a particular police officer that. It was really funny, because he didn't know what it meant! He only knew we were insulting him~! Ve!"

"Ha! I remember him! Stronzo was so much fun to mess with!" Romano burst out laughing. "Remember that time with the chicken?!"

I started laughing uncontrollably. "You mean with the bucket and the cabbage?! HA! How could I forget?! It took him months to grow his hair back!" I laughed. The others just stared.

"Ummm... bucket? Chicken?" Germany looked so lost. I attempted to quiet down my giggles, but one glance at Romano, and we both broke out laughing again.

"N-never mind." I gasped out through stray chuckles. "It's too hard to explain." The others looked distinctly disappointed, but said nothing.

Instead, they followed the twins through the winding backstreets of the city. It was a maze, and the nations wondered how they didn't get lost. At one point, Asher II joined them. Though he was still a rather small puppy, and his ears were still somewhat floppy. He kept pace with the twins rather easily, and stuck to the shadows to avoid panicking any nearby people. Eventually, they came to a shady looking warehouse. They knocked on the door in a particular pattern.

"Wha's da pass'ord?" A heavily accented voice asked. It sounded like a man.

"We've got it." Lovino said gruffly, accurately replicating the same accent.

"Hm? Oh! Lovs! Fells! Was wondrin when yous guys'd come back!" The door opened to show a thin, dirty man, roughly 30-something.

"We got the gold, Reg. Now give us our goods." Lovino said, refusing to set foot in the place. The nations peered inside. They saw dozens of alcohol pots littering the floor. The man was obviously a drunk.

"Yeah, sure." The man went back inside and returned in seconds. He held at least 4 coats that looked to be in fairly good condition, and three bags of... something.

Feliciano reached up and grabbed the bags. Like his brother, he'd kept his face blank the whole time. He looked in all three bags, before nodding his head. The man, Reg, handed Feliciano the rest of the stuff, and greedily took the coin purse from Lovino.

"Pleasure doin' business wicha, boys." He said greasily, shutting the door again. The twins let out sighs of relief as the walked away.

"Look Vino! Four new coats! And three bags of food! This'll last us awhile!" Feliciano said happily, and Asher barked happily, wagging his tail as he padded quietly next to Lovino, who smiled tiredly.

"Yeah... It will." The twins walked in silence, taking even more back roads before reaching another rundown place. It wasn't a warehouse, but a rather large shed that looked ready to collapse. Lovino knocked on the door again, using a particular pattern.

"Who's there?" A young voice asked.

"It's us." Lovino said. Asher barked once to let them know he was there, too.

"What's the password?" The voice asked again.

"Open the fucking door now, or I'll fucking break it down!" Lovino snapped.

"Okay! Okay! It's you!" The door opened to reveal a boy no older than 8. "Welcome home, Feli! Lovi!" The kid smiled, before walking inside. He then saw the wolf pup. "Asher!" He grinned as the puppy yipped happily and proceeded to lick his face.

"GUYS! THEY'RE BACK!" As if someone called 'fire' about 4 more kids stampeded into the room, all looking younger than 10. They were all filthy, and ragged and skinny. The nations stared, as Romano and I looked on with soft smiles. Our first famiglia...

"Feli! Lovi!" The kids cried, tackling the two nations in a giant hug. "We haven't seen yous for days!" One of the kids cried, "We was worried old Mr. Stronzo gotcha!"

"Timmy! Use proper language." Feliciano chastised.

"Sorry... I mean... We were worried old Mr. Stronzo got you." He repeated.

"There you go. Knowing proper language pays off, you know. It's best to get in the habit now." Feliciano said with a smile. "Now... Who wants presents?!" He asked, a large grin on his face.

The children went wild. "LINE UP!" Lovino called, and the children immediately fell into some sort of organization, with Asher finishing off the line proudly. "Report!" He said sharply.

"Raggis! I'm fine!" The oldest boy with sandy blonde hair, looking to be around ten, said.

"Jenny! I'm also fine!" A brunette girl, also around 10, said.

"Harold! Okey-dokey~" The boy who opened the door said. He looked about seven.

"Harold, be serious! Hazel! Reporting for duty! Just fine!" A dark-haired girl with sharp blue eyes said, gently slapping Harold on the back of the head. She looked 8 as well.

"Timmy! I'm alright!" A red-headed boy with brown eyes said, freckles sprayed across his face. He looked about 6.

"I'm a-okay!" Asher reported diligently, making the nations flinch back in surprise at being able to understand him.

"Well, fratello got hit by the spell, too, technically, right?" I tilted my head. "It'd make sense if we could understand Asher since Romano can."

"That does make sense." England nodded.

Oh, this'll be interesting for sure.

Then there was a pause.

"Where's Lulu?" Feliciano asked, a look of intense worry on his face.

"Lulu's not well... She got sick... has a fever..." Jenny said, her hazel eyes shining in worry. Asher whimpered softly, nuzzling Jenny's hand.

"Who are these children?" France asked bewildered.

"They're our family. They're street-rats like us. Rejects. Misfits. We took them in and gave them a home... a family. We'd give them food and clothing and protect them... We'd educate them to the best of our abilities. In return, they'd help us when we needed it. It was a simple relationship. Not easy by any means, but simple. Romano and I were like the older brothers of the group, even though sometimes some of them were 'older' than us. They didn't mind, though. We had more experience on the streets and in the real world than they did. They never questioned our immortality. It was one of our few rules. One of the only other rules was that when they decided to leave, they tell no secrets. Secrets stay secret. No betraying famiglia. Period. It worked, too. Some of them grew to become successful members of society. They made something of themselves. Fun story; Little Timmy there? One of his descendants would one day become our boss." I said, a proud smile on my face. Romano's eyes also sparkled with pride. Despite what Timmy did to us, we were still proud of him. I suppose parenthood worked like that—no matter what your kids did, you'd always care for them and love them.

"We did that little 'line up and report' thing to make sure everyone was alright after we'd been gone for awhile. If anyone was hurt, sick, missing, or the like, we'd know. It was a good thing, too, because if we didn't do that, they'd get distracted and forget to tell us something important. No matter how mature they are, children are still children." Romano added.

"Lulu's sick? Oh no. Let me look at her." Feliciano said, before Lovino pulled him back.

"No. I'll look at her so you don't get sick, too. God knows we don't need two of you sick right now. I'll be fine. You distribute the goods." He told Feliciano.

"Ve... Okay. Tell her I said 'hi'." Feliciano said with a small smile. Lovino nodded as he walked off to check on the child, Asher hot on his heels.

"Lulu was only 4, you know. She was left on the streets as an infant, abandoned in a pile of garbage because she was born blind." I said, staring after Lovino sadly. "She actually wasn't completely blind... By some miracle, she was able to gain sight in her left eye. Her right eye is blind, though. That never changed. Vino and I raised her from birth, pretty much. Her first sound was 'lulu' so that's what we decided to name her. We saw her as our own. I'm not sure if I saw her as a daughter or a little sister, but she was ours." I spoke quietly.

"Si... of all the children we rescue, the ones we raise from infancy are always the hardest to lose." Romano said softly, a tenderness in his voice that the nations hadn't heard before.

They watched silently as Feliciano passed out the four coats and rations of food to the starving children. They looked so grateful for something as simple as bread, that it made the nations' hearts break.

"Feli?" Timmy asked, tilting his head to the side in a confused, innocent manner that made Hungary coo.

"What is it Timmy?"

"I... I was wondering... Where's your food?" He asked, looking at his untouched bread. The other kids stopped eating for a moment. The older ones—Raggis, Jenny, and Hazel—looked at Timmy and Feliciano with a slightly pitying gaze, before retuning to their food, while the seven-year-old Harold looked at Feliciano with confusion.

"I already ate mine on the way here~ You know how impatient I can be~" Feliciano lied smoothly. Timmy and Harold seemed to accept the answer and went back to eating. The nations, however, did not; and stared.

"Y-you didn't eat? Ho-how often?" Hungary asked.

"We gave almost all our food to the children. We ate maybe once or twice every other week to keep up our strength... We also would eat just before we'd make a run so we had the stamina. As nations, even partial ones, we can't die from starvation or dehydration. But they can." Romano said, refusing to look at the other nations.

"Ve... we didn't mind, though. The children ate, so we were happy!" I said, smiling widely.

Before they could say anything more on the subject, the scene changed. Lovino and Feliciano were sitting on the roof of the shed, gazing at the stars.

"She's real sick." Lovino said.

"You're worried, you slipped into the accent again." Feliciano pointed out.

"Course I'm worried! She's dyin', Felice! She's dyin... An' there's nothin' we can do about it!" Lovino cried quietly, his accent thickening.

"I know, Vino... It hurts me, too, ya know... She's our little angel... The only untainted thing in this backwater street life. I... I jus' wish... Isn't there somethin we can do?! Anythin'!"

"She needs medicine, Felice! She's got the Fever! She ain't comin outta this unscathed... If she comes outta this..." Lovino said quietly. Feliciano sighed heavily.

"I... Vino... I can't lose someone else. I... We lost Momma and Asher... I... I'm not sure I can lose a kid like this. Tyler was bad enough—"

"Don't mention T–... that name... I... I can't..." Lovino said harshly.

"I... I'm sorry, Vino. I slipped. Mi dispiace."

"No, it's... I'm sorry I snapped, Fratellino."

"Ti voglio bene, fratello. Ve."

"Ti voglio bene... Chigi."

"Lovi...?" Spain asked, unsure.

"Ty—..." Romano sighed, still unable to bring himself to say the name. "He was the first child we rescued."

"He was only three, and had been abandoned by his abusive parents. We took him in as our own, and raised him as our son. We re-named him. He was happy... so happy... Then, when he was 14... he... he got sick... Real sick..." I said, starting to slip back into my old accent. I caught myself, and forced myself back into my actual voice. "We'd already told him we were nations, or immortal at least. He was so innocent... He... he never made it to his fifteenth birthday. He..." I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Tyler had always been a sensitive topic for Romano and I... More so Romano than myself, as the two had been more father and son, while I had been more like the doting uncle.

I felt strong arms wrap around me. I looked up into America's gaze. I was so shocked... America and I were good friends, sure. But he'd never been good at the whole comfort thing...

"Alfred?"

"Just cry, Feli." He said softly. "It's hard to lose a child..." He looked off into the distance with a wistful glance. "I'm sorry you know what that feels like."

And so I did. We both did. Romano and I sobbed into Spain and America respectively. I felt so light afterwards... So feather-light... When was the last time I'd cried like this? I couldn't remember... It had been at least a century, though... Oh, no... I remember now... It was Holy Rome.

That sob-fest was the closest thing I'd come to laying my soul bare since I'd lost Holy Rome... My dearest... Acel...

The scene in the memory changed again, drawing our attention. America released me from the hug.

"Grazie..." I whispered just loud enough for him to hear. America just smiled softly and ruffled my hair, careful not to touch my curl.

"You're welcome." He whispered back.

"Hey... um... Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but why's the puppy still alive? It's been over 200 years, right?" Spain asked with his head tilted.

"No, he's a bonded." China explained. "A nation will sometimes bond with a single animal, who then shares the nation's immortality. They also share a mental link and can understand the entire species, as we've seen with Asher."

"Ja! You totally can! Why do you think Gilbird is still around? He's my bonded!" Prussia proclaimed, sticking his chest out proudly.

"So you're bonded to a chick," America pointed to Prussia, "you're bonded to a Dire Wolf mix," he pointed to Romano, "and you're bonded to a carrier pigeon?" He pointed to France, who nodded thinking of Pierre.

"Don't forget~ You're bonded to a horse, and I'm bonded to Kumajiro~!" Canada smiled.

"Oh yeah!" America grinned. "I keep forgetting he's your bonded. I suppose that makes sense, seeing as he can talk."

"You're bonded to a horse?" England asked, surprised.

"Yeah, man! Spirit's awesome!" He grinned. "He usually just hangs around the house, though." America turned back to the memory as Feli and Lovi started talking.

"Are you sure this'll work?" Lovino asked Feliciano. The two of them were sitting in a dark alleyway, looking for all the world, like they were up to no good.

"It has to." Feliciano said with finality. "I can't lose her, Vino... I can't. Not like this."

"Okay." Lovino sighed. "It should come soon. The carriage has the medicine she needs... but it'll be heavily guarded. Swords and knives and the like. Please be careful..." Lovino said, trying desperately to get his twin to listen.

"I will be. Don't worry so much, Vino~" Feliciano chirped, touching the stone wall, and causing some tendrils of frost to slither out. "You have Winter on your side, after all."

"Don't you dare go getting an ego on me! That's what killed Jeff!"

"I know." Feliciano said, flinching at the mention of another dead child.

"Sorry." He quickly apologized. Feliciano dropped it.

"There it is!" Feliciano whispered, pointing to the carriage.

"Right..."

The scene changed again.

"WHAT?! Where's the Awesome Action?! The fighting?! The Awesomeness!?" Prussia demanded.

"Sorry... apparently the fight wasn't that big of a deal... It's what came after the fight..." I said darkly.

It showed Lovino and Feliciano trapped in an alleyway. In Feliciano's left hand was a bottle of the medication that they so desperately needed. Three very large men were closing in as two equally large men stayed back. These men were well-muscled and knew how to fight. Hungary and Spain looked ready for a panic attack... again...

The three men came closer, backing the twins up against a dead-end. "Fuck! We're screwed!" Lovino cursed, before letting out a stream of curses in rapid-fire Italian. Feliciano looked down at the medicine in his left hand, before looking up again, a raging fire in his eyes.

"No! We can't let it end here! For Lulu!" Feliciano said, but his words did little to help the situation. It was still dire. The three men each held sharp swords in their hands, and looked ready to go in for the kill. Something in Feliciano seemed to click... or snap, depending on how you looked at it.

"Romano. Stand back." He said in a calm, dead serious voice that left no room for argument. It wasn't a request; it was an order. Lovino jumped at the sound of his actual name. He hadn't been called that in decades, after all. He did as told.

"F-Felice...?" He asked, not knowing what his twin was going to do. Feliciano closed his eyes for a second, as if mustering up the strength to do something. The nations noticed his mouth moving in a rapid, silent prayer.

"...please forgive me; may God have mercy on my soul, Amen." He said, before he charged forward.

"NO!" Hungary cried, watching as the blade came for him. He caught it with one hand. Blood dripped from his palm, but ice rapidly crept over the blade, and he broke it into tiny pieces. The three men paused, shocked at the display of unnatural power. Feliciano used this to his advantage. He coated his right hand in sharp ice, turning his fingers into a spear, and slammed it into the man's chest, running him through. Ice rapidly encased the man, as he fell and shattered. He didn't think about what he'd just done. He moved like a man possessed, and repeated the action with the second man, before ducking under a swipe from the third, and grasping his face. He screamed in agony as he was frozen solid from the inside out.

"Don't mess with General Winter." Feliciano said with a horrible, hollow tone. His body started oozing a white energy... the very essence of winter. Lovino's breath became visible, showing that the temperature had dropped drastically. Ice and frost crept out from beneath Feliciano's feet, and trailed along the walls around him. He went to kill the other two, who looked ready to charge. He turned his gaze towards them, his eyes shining a soulless white.

The nations stared in horror. He had lost control. He had snapped, and killed humans. That was understandable, given the circumstances... And to see such a young(ish) child kill so efficiently and coldly was highly disturbing on its own, but he seemed to be... enjoying it. The thought sickened them, but they knew it wasn't Feliciano they were staring at. Those were not his eyes.

I looked on in horror. While I had been mostly aware of my actions during that time, I had never realized just how... dangerous and wrong I looked. I looked like an angel of death, sent by Lucifer himself. Romano trembled beside me, as I wrapped him in a gentle embrace.

"Chigi." I muttered to him.

"V-Ve..." He replied, grasping onto me.

"FELICE! NO!" Lovino cried, as he went to kill the last man—the other one had run—who had sunken to the ground and pissed himself. Feliciano didn't listen. He continued his slow, agonizing advance, smirking as the man trembled in terror.

"A demon, am I? I'll show you just how much of a demon I can be." He said. His voice sounded wrong. Layered, as if several voices were speaking on top of Feliciano's voice. It was higher and deeper at the same time. Every word dripped with power, as his every step caused ice to continue to spread.

Lovino lunged forward, grabbing his brother's arm before crying out in pain, and pulling back; his hand showed signs of severe frostbite. Still, even then, Feliciano advanced.

"STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER! VENEZIANO!" Lovino screamed, falling to his knees and sobbing. Feliciano paused, grasping his head as if in pain.

"R-Ro...man...o....?" He stuttered out in broken speech. Lovino looked up, shocked... hardly daring to believe that he'd somehow gotten through.

"Y-yes! YES! It's me! Please come back to me, Feliciano! I need you!" Lovino cried desperately.

"P-ple...ase... h-he...lp... me..." Feliciano panted, clearly fighting something for control.

"How?! How can I help you?!" Lovino demanded, desperate to do something.

"T-the... l-lulla...by..." Feliciano stuttered. Lovino knew instantly what he meant, and, without question, started to sing their mother's lullaby. As he sung, Feliciano seemed to calm down, the white tendrils of energy fading into harmless snowflakes. His eyes slowly faded back to molten gold. Feliciano fell to his knees, exhausted, and sobbed.

"Vino!" He cried, looking at his bloodstained hands. "I... I... Oh, God! What have I done?!" He sobbed, hugging his brother tightly. He then caught sight of Lovino's hand. "NO! I... I even hurt you!? I really am a... a monster! A demon! They were right! I am a killer! Look at what I've done!" Feliciano wailed; his heart-wrenching cries made the nations wince and cringe.

"Shhh. Shhh... It's okay Felice... I'm here. I'm not leaving you. You're not a monster. You're my brother. It doesn't even hurt, see?" Lovino lied, flexing the injured hand and fighting off a horrible wince.

"It does! I'm so sorry! Vino! God! I'm sorry!" He cried; the guilt was overwhelming.

The fifth man, forgotten in the alley, saw his chance. He grabbed a nearby dagger and slowly crept up on the hysterical twins. The nations glared. If there was one thing that pissed off nearly every single nation in the whole fucking world, it was a coward that would strike while the enemy was defenseless and/or in the middle of a mental/emotional breakdown.

He readied the dagger, preparing to plunge it into Feliciano's back, when Lovino spotted him. "Look out!" He shouted, pulling his twin to the side just in time to avoid the fatal blow. Lovino glared hell at the man. Without much thought, the man charged. On pure instinct, Lovino picked up a nearby sword from one of the fallen men. He dodged the blow, and leapt to the side, but the man kept running. He was going for Feliciano.

"DIE! DEMON!" He cried.

Lovino didn't think. His brother was in danger, and that was all that mattered. He took his sword, and stabbed it right into the man's back, somehow managing to run him completely through. Lovino stood still. Even Feliciano froze. He removed the blade. The man slid off of it with a sickening wet sound, and fell to the ground, very still. Lovino had splatters of blood on his face and his arms and hands, though admittedly Feliciano had much more blood on his person. He let the sword clatter numbly to the ground, unable to comprehend what he'd just done.

Lovino Ve Vargas, and Feliciano Chigi Vargas had taken their first lives. They had both lost control on some level, and it terrified them.

"V-Vino...?" Feliciano asked feebly after sitting there for who-knows-how long, still unable to look away from his blood drenched right hand. Lovino made some sort of noise in acknowledgement.

"I... I think we should go now... Lulu... she... she needs her medicine..." Feliciano stuttered out, looking at the bottle in his unstained left hand.

"R-right..." Lovino said. The two brothers, no physically older than 11, walked back to their abandoned shack filled with hungry kids, stained with their first blood. The haunted, jaded looks in their eyes saddened all the nations. Russia, particularly, who treasured the innocence of children above all else.

"Vino...?" Feliciano asked suddenly, as they stumbled up to their home. "A...are we...? Are we demons?" Lovino was silent for a moment.

"No. We're just a couple of street-rats struggling to survive. By any means possible. Yes. We k-killed, tonight..." They both looked a little green at the reminder, before Lovino continued on. "But... It was to protect our family... Remember, Felice? Famiglia Before All."

"Si... I remember... Maybe... We can't protect them forever, Vino... But I never want them to be stained like this..." Feliciano said, looking at his bloody arm again.

"Nor do I, Felice... Nor do I..." Lovino agreed. "But sometimes, life's a fucking bitch, and there's nothing you can do to fix it or make it better. So we'll just have to deal with it... One day at a time, Felice... Just... One day at a time..."

"Ti voglio bene, Fratellone. Ve." Feliciano said.

"Ti voglio bene, Fratellino. Chigi." Lovino replied.

The nations remained silent. This wasn't something that they could comfort us on, and they knew it. Every nation had killed at some point. Well, micro-nations, not so much, but the full nations had. Even Sicily. But it's different... Killing a human to protect your nation is one thing, but in self-defense when you're mentally eleven years old is something completely different.

Romano and I had noticed... when we connected to our nation our thought process sped up. It changed us... we realized later on, that during the time before we connected to our nation, our minds worked somewhere between that of a nation, and that of a human. Even still, though our minds are now wired like nations, some parts remain hard-wired like a human's. Part of that is self-preservation. It's why we're so prone to running away.

We're called cowards because we have the self-preservation instincts of a human, not an immortal nation. Nations, by their very nature, are brave in the face of death. They instinctively know that they cannot die permanently. Romano and I, however, don't have that. In a life-or-death situation, we take it like a human; with a mortal mindset. Which is why wartime is so hard for us. Sure, we've fought on the battlefield, but it doesn't make it any easier. The mafia is different... It's different because we're protecting famiglia. We're protecting each other. But it never makes staring death in the face any easier.

I sighed as I watched our younger selves sneak past the sleeping children, to the wash-area, and start washing off the blood. "Ti voglio bene, fratello..." I mutter to my brother, as I lean against him. The whole thing was rather... draining.

"Ti voglio bene, fratellino." Romano replied, also sounding tired. The memory started to change, and we braced ourselves for the next onslaught of memories.

Number of words: 6,506/6,651

Number of Pages: 13

Date Uploaded: September 15th, 2018

Edited: 03/06/2019

A/N:

Sorry that this took so long. To be honest, I completely forgot I had this pre-written, so your scatter-brained, ADD afflicted author really has no excuse.

If you want to know why I haven't been actually writing until late, I've been in a bit of a rough spot. With a bit of a bad relationship that made me suicidal and all that jazz. Now I'm living with family trying to get back on my feet, and the first thing that's come back to me is my love of writing~! So look forward to the next update for a lot of my stories, yeah? ^_^ As always, please comment so I know you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll see you all again soon~!