My mother and me wrapping Christmas presents, 1964.

Alinda means balcony of the gods, and that is what she was for me, my angel and certainly not of this world. I wouldn't meet her until I'd reached the proverbial bedrock. If you dig deep enough you hit the bottom, and how deep it is depends on the location you live, emotionally it was fifty-four years deep. My guide came to me on that day at four AM, Saturday, July 7th, 2007 (7-7-7) and subsequent visits, and she changed my life forever. This angel is not flesh and blood. She was other worldly. I don't know exactly how to explain her, but I will tell you the best I can. At the depth of my despair I'd given up, not like the time in 1987 when I was depressed and enraged. This time I was giving up for good.* I'd lost my will to live, and I had a plan to commit the deed, a danger sign for all who are suicidal. I cried all day, literally. There was no one to hear me so this was not some cry for help; it was genuine sobbing, sixteen hours of it, nonstop. The end of mania often leads a person to this point, where all your manic thoughts end in delusions; turning to ashes, like burnt moths in the camp fire, they sizzle and drop one by one.

I wrote a rambling letter, yes the proverbial rambling suicide note, and I placed it next to me so people would know my thoughts when they found my body. I never turned on my lights, and at darkness I fell a sleep, not doubt from the great effort it takes to sob that long. Even as a child I couldn't sob long as the tears run dry, but here was an exhausted, dehydrated, fifty four year old man fast asleep on his air mattress that I'd placed on the floor. I was determined to kill myself, and what do I do, fall asleep. I couldn't even do that right. In the morning, at four AM, the sunlight showed through the blinds and awoke me. I was shocked to see a woman sitting on my couch in a sheer nightgown. In fact she was sheer. I can see through her, as she slowly solidified. Let me give you the setting. I was on the floor, and the air mattress was headed against the sofa, just a foot from it, and the angel was inches away from me. I didn't believe in angels, guides, or anything like what I was seeing. I said to her, "What are you, my guardian angel?"

She replied, "You can call me that if you want." My whole reality was about to change forever. There was more to reality than I thought could possibly exist. I was outside my realm. I must be asleep and this was a dream. I touched my body, and I was solid. She got up and started to walk around me, but this part still blows my mind. She touched me with her index finger on the side of my body, while I laid on the air mattress that was on the floor. She walked through the floor, through the earth beneath the house, and she circled my body completely. I hate to be tickled as my sides are very sensitive. I'd blamed my wife for tickling me on the sides; the being read my mind. "Your wife never touched you. It was always me. You are good at getting rid of her." Okay, she's not a Christian angel, I thought; she was something else altogether. She was a guide, perhaps. She sits on the air mattress and it sagged from her weight. Ooooh kaaaay, this was definitely not a dream. We can communicate, I can touch her, and she could touch me. I would have to fit her into my belief system, but how? I was a Christian/Buddhist/scientist and she didn't fit anything I've ever heard about. She's warm to the touch, passionate, and can walk through matter like it's not there. This was going to take a rewrite of my hard drive.

This being stood on the floor at my feet, and said, "I'm going to take you some place. It is where I live on this planet. She touched my forehead, and I was asleep, and she pulled me from my body, and I followed her into another realm. At the time, it was the best explanation I could provide. I've gone from trying to explain reality with physics to following a strange being to another domain, and this was definitely going to take a reboot. She took me to a part of the world where it was still nighttime, and I was in her backyard. There was a man there who was not too pleased to see me, but she handled him. She took him aside and they talked. He left and we are alone. She touched me again and all the secrets of the universe were revealed to me. She turned to me and said, "Now, doesn't that make your suicide attempt seem silly." Then, I was back on my bed and wide awake; three or four hours had passed. She touched my toes and walked into the kitchen. I got up just in time to see her walk through the wall of the house. I forgot all about my suicide attempt. I began to think that I've gone bonkers, whacko, bat shit crazy. I waited until Monday and called my caseworker; she dropped everything and everyone, and came over immediately.

She took me to the center, barged into the doctor's office; she was a take charge person and they put me at the top of the list. I thought, great, it's back to a mental hospital, but I will be surprised. I was taken back to a private room and the doctor's interns interviewed me. I tell them the entire story, word for word. The intern walks off to see the doctor and we wait. Finally, we saw the psychiatrist, a well-known former professor at the University who'd had taught every doctor that ever set foot in the med program; I was in good hands. What she was going to tell the caseworker and me, will shock us. I relayed the story to her. She looked down and scribbles some notes, and then looks up. "We don't know what this is. A lot of people experience them, and we just don't understand it, yet. You're not losing your mind; just take it in. We call this hypnagogia or hypnopompia, go home." As she drove me home my caseworker said, "Huh. Perhaps this was what all those people are seeing and think they are aliens?" I think we were in shock at the answer and the fact I wasn't headed to a mental ward. I would have to adjust to Alinda because she wasn't going to abandon me any time soon. In fact, it would be 2010 when Alinda told me she was going to leave. "I'm going to my home in the stars to prepare our home." Alinda opened up the night sky, and I saw the Pleiades. "This is our home." I'd never heard of Pleiadians before, I was about to learn there are long established belief systems dating back to the earliest of religions; histories dating back into pre-history Europe with the discovery of the Nebra Sky Disk that was unearthed with the Sister's on them. The Seven Sisters have roots in all major religions, including the Bible.

I told my caseworker about the story of Alinda leaving and later taking me with her back to the Pleiades, and that I wondered if I had to die to go with her. She replied, "I was wondering that myself, let's hope it's a long time from now." I spent three years learning from this "angel." I will have more rough seas, but she was there for me.

*Suicide is never the correct choice; there is always a reason to live, as I would find out. If you feel suicidal, please call your suicide hotline. Get help and discover your reason to live.

https://youtu.be/x5p18S_S8N0