So... I'm back!

A lot has changed since I started this story. I'm in college, I've got a part-time job, applying to university and I haven't written much in almost a year. I've just fallen out of writing fanfiction entirely as well as the Maze Runner fandom as a whole. But I've decided to start up again, and also that I at least owe it to you guys to finish what I started.

Please let me know if there are inconsistencies, I haven't so much as looked at this book since last summer. And as always, feedback is encouraged!

Chapter 13

229.07.06 / 8:15 a.m.

     After three full days of laying around in bed in a tired, fever-induced stupor, two guards broke into the barracks and dragged you from your blankets. You stood before them, shivering in your pajamas, bare feet ice cold on the stone floor, staring down at the ground while their angry gazes bore into you.

     "Paige wants to see you," one barked. Their voice was so muffled you couldn't tell whether they were a man or a woman.

     "Got it," you muttered, still glaring.

     "Get dressed," the other said, undoubtedly a man. "We'll escort you up. Then take you to see a goddamn doctor, you look like death."

     They left and you stood around another few minutes before reluctantly throwing some clothes on, tugging a shirt over your head right as the door slammed open a second time.

     "Let's go!"

     You let them lead you down the hall, the long elevator ride up, the heavy door that guarded Paige's office, and then you were shoved in and the guards were gone.

     "(Y/N), it's good to see you."

     Paige was standing behind her desk, staring out the massive window that framed the room so that the muted sunlight haloed her in sort of a foreboding way. You knew that whatever this meeting was about, it wasn't going to be good.

     "Hi," you said lamely, stumbling to sit down in a nearby chair.

     "You've been off our radar for a while."

     "I've been sick."

     Paige seemed to chuckle but didn't turn around.

     "I'm very sorry to hear that, but when you're sick, you know you're supposed to call in and get a medical slip. It's better to get treatment then to lie around in bed all week."

     You mumbled a reply and glared at the floor.

     "And you missed your meeting with your father," she said, finally stepping away and turning around. "I have to be honest, he was very disappointed."

     You shrugged, trying to hide your disappointment. "There'll be other meetings."

     "Yes, well, you know that's not why I brought you here."

     "Yeah, I know why," you spat, a sudden anger surging through you. "You bastards forced Newt on me! You controlled me like a puppet! I didn't know what I was doing!"

     Paige stared at you with an unreadable expression, which only set your blood boiling.

     "I told you that we needed to get blueprints -- how do you think we could've done that if you two were constantly avoiding each other?"

     "You guys need to mind your own damn business!"

     Paige gave a reluctant sigh and sat back in her chair, gesturing for you to do the same. In your anger you'd jumped to your feet and leaned across her desk, fists clenched on the smooth wooden surface.

     "(Y/N), do I have to remind you not to speak to me like that? In your mind, I may be an evil, manipulative woman who wants nothing more than to watch the world burn, but I'm also your employer. And with the trials so close now, you really don't want to find out what happens once you cross the line that you've so carefully tiptoed on till now."

     You stared at Paige, whose gaze was as steady and calm as ever. She seemed almost serene, despite your outburst.

     "You're a smart kid, (Y/N). Why do you think we've kept you around? You have the best memory of anyone I've ever met, you're a whiz at math, you've helped us create some of our best tests. I need you to not back out on us now. Not when we're so close."

     You sat down with a heavy sigh.

     Paige seemed to sense your change in demeanor and let a ghost of a smile flicker across her face. It was gone before you could question if you'd imagined it or not.

     "You just have to last a few more months," she told you gently. "Four more months. They'll blow by, you'll see. You've already helped us more than you can begin to comprehend. I can't thank you enough, (Y/N)."

     She sounded so genuine. As if you weren't planning on betraying all your friends. As if all along, WICKED's plan hadn't been to hurt anyone at all. As if you were really saving the world.

     "So basically-" you forced an arrogant smile and crossed your arms over your chest, "you asked me here to beg me to help you?"

     Paige sighed but seemed to decide to cater to you. "Yes. That's right."

     You liked seeing Paige squirm.

     "Then you have to promise me one thing," you said slowly, getting back to your feet to signal you were leaving on your terms. "You need to promise me you won't try to control me like that again. Ever."

     Paige gave you an unmistakeably poisonous smile.

     "I promise."

229.07.24 / 12:00 p.m.

     After that meeting with Paige, your routine fell immediately back into place and you threw yourself back into your work. You decided you would play along with WICKED, for now. It would at the very least buy you some time to figure out what to do when your friends went into the maze, something you'd put off for so long. You would give them what they wanted. You would act the part. You would find an out for your friends.

     Thankfully, you didn't see much of Newt, he was working long hours, as always. That didn't stop you from thinking about him, however. It was constant. That kiss you had shared in the gym (through a version of yourself you hadn't even recognized) had been on your mind nonstop. How eagerly he'd kissed you. How his bare chest had felt under your hands. His breath on your neck.

     After weeks of expertly avoiding him, you knew you had to find somewhere to talk. It wasn't fair, all these mixed messages, you knew that. Even though the biggest one had been entirely WICKED's fault, it didn't mean you were allowed to treat him like shit. That was WICKED's job. So one day at lunch, you pulled away from Harriet and marched straight up to Newt, where he was sitting with Minho, Thomas, and Teresa. He stopped to stare at you, mid-laugh, eyes as wide and wondering as a baby's. He looked scared to death, poor kid, but you sensed a smugness as well.

     "Well, (Y/N), you joining us?" snorted Minho, tossing a sandwich back onto his plate. "You're sure WICKED doesn't need you?"

     "Shut it, Minho," you snapped. "Newt, can we talk for a sec?"

     You backed away, indicating for him to follow. It took a minute for him to pick his jaw up off the floor, but he quickly slid from his seat and followed you out of the dining hall. You leaned against a wall, waiting for him to catch up. Thankfully no guards were patrolling that afternoon, and you had the hall to yourselves. Well... you and probably a dozen of Paige's scientists, but you weren't supposed to be thinking that way.

     "Listen," you said when he was close enough to hear. "I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you lately, you don't deserve it." You could practically feel Paige urging you to continue. "I'm so sorry, Newt. I just... I don't ever feel really alone with you anymore."

     Newt's face softened into an understanding smile, and you felt guilt and anger burrow deep into your stomach.

     "It's okay, (Y/N)."

     Of course, he understood, you hadn't expected anything less of him. But this only made you feel worse somehow, like you were betraying him all over again -- but you knew, you only had so much time before he was down in the maze, and you were damned if you weren't going to savor every last moment before that time came. You weren't going to give Paige that power.

     "About that night in the gym," he started, leaning beside you so your shoulders were brushing. "You acted so strange, are you okay?"

     "I was just... confused," you managed, the beast digging itself further into your belly. "I'm so sorry, Newt."

     He pulled you into him, you burying your face in his chest, taking in smells of fresh dirt and wood, smells that came from the outdoors. His hands were calloused, but gentle as he rubbed your back, but you took no comfort in him, feeling Paige's eyes practically boring into you through one of her hidden cameras. She was probably beaming in satisfaction, one of her Techs scribbling furiously behind her.

     You wished you could tell Newt everything. How you'd be the one sending him into the maze, studying him, and how you weren't sure you'd ever see each other again after that day. You felt about ready to explode as he held you, and at that moment you felt you had to do something.

     Without another thought, you grabbed his wrist and dragged him down the hall, left, left, a sharp right, until you found a small bathroom, private enough, and tugged open the small steel door. It was barely big enough for the two of you, but Newt followed along, stepping in behind you and letting you slam the door shut, looking slightly alarmed.

     Immediately, you pressed into him, searching for his mouth. You kissed him like it was the last time you'd ever see each other. With such necessity, your lips went slightly numb. Your fingers wandered under his shirt, feeling the same muscle you had in the gym, but now with your own hands. You felt as clear-headed as ever, finding Newt's rough palms and placing them at your waist.

     WICKED wasn't going to tell you what to do or who to love or what to do with your body. They'd stolen your family and your life and your brain and turned them against you, but now, in that moment, you felt in control of yourself, mind and body. They didn't know everything about you. You could have secrets of your own.

     Newt was your secret. So were his hands, slipping off your shirt, and his lips that trailed light kisses down your neck. How he was so fiercely loyal and so easily forgiving. You weren't just robots with minds to be controlled. You were made for so much more than that.

     It was so easy to let yourself fall into a blissful abyss, in that tiny room. No WICKED, no maze, no burned world. Just you.