8

Today is their first day all 13 together in talk show. After talking on their latest information and activities, yesung’s part was touched.

Mc:so, ys?how are u today?u look fine and even more handsome with skinny face

Ys: yes. Tq. I’m handsome no matter what. I’m fine now but still on recovering. Tq for those who keep praying on my health.

Mc: who are the first get to know on his sickness back then?

Leeteuk: reowook and siwon

Mc: really?why them and not others yesung shii?

Yesung: yeah..if I told leeteuk hyung he’ll absolutely tell the other or he might been crying to death, kangin will tell everyone, and actually I don’t know why exactly but these two can really keep a secret no matter what.

Mc: I see..why don’t you tell all of them?

Yesung: I don’t want them get too worry. We have enough problem to worry about and I don’t want to let them sad because I know my illness does not have exact cure.

Hc: but after that we became really sad of this.

Everyone nodding their head

Mc: then how all of you know about this?

Sm: there were once when yesung hyung go out with siwon and reowook, then I go into his room and I found a letter about his sickness. And it just happen like that.

Mc: then he went to US for treatment or all of you?

Hc: he gone for 2 weeks like that and leeteuk and kangin are the one with him 24 hour.

Kg: actually it’s not treatment but more on test to ensure how is he actually.

Lt: but as the test run, he become worsen everyday. Weak day by day and as we saw him like that our heart really hurts.

Leeteuk cannot hold his tears. His eyes start to get wet and heechul tapping his back softly. 

Mc: I came to know you back to korea for treatment, why don’t you just stay there?

Yesung: teukie hyung made all the decision and I believe he will decide the best for me. He said it will be easy for the members to see me and the treatment is just the same and the doctor at US have recommend to us few of his friend so we agreed to stay at korea then. I started the treatment 1 week after came back from US.

Kg: the dongsaeng always call him and even cry a lot on phone.

Mc: how was your condition when you came back here?

Yesung smiling while looking the others.

Sd: weak.no strength. Skinnier. Pale. Really light.

Mc: precisely. 

Dh: yeah we were really surprise as they reach home, but we cannot say anything. At that time we just smile but in our heart it’s hurt so much seing yesung hyung like that. 

Eh: he even do not have enough strength to walk for so long until kangin hyung need to piggy back him. We especially the dongsaeng always cry behind him or when he sleep we cry a lot. 

Yesung looking down all the time. Leeteuk hold yesung’s hand all the time.

Mc: you organize a mini concert free for your fans..

Yesung: hmm thank you to all sponsors. We just give our energy and voice in that concert and everything was sponsored. When we decide to do it, in my mind I just thought that maybe this is my last stage with the members singing as super junior. So even I’m not feeling well I just push myself because being a singer is my passion. 

Yesung talking with teary eyes and leeteuk beside him already cry.

Kh: there are once when it’s time for KRY. Yesung hyung said he feel dizzy then we told him rest first and other can go out first. He never listen to us that day. So we decide to perform while sitting on couch. Yesung in the middle while both of us beside him.

Hc: at that moment, leeteuk didn’t take his eyes off yesung at all. He said he afraid yesung might passed out on stage.

Mc: singing is really your passion..

Yesung nodding his head.

Yesung: I want to sing until my last breath.

Their eyes start teary again and again and some of them even cry. Kangin, khuhyun, heechul, siwon who hardly cry on broadcast are also cry.

Mc: then you start your chemo?

Yesung: yes. It’s been my most bitter experience in my life and part of it like valuable moment for us too. Because when this happen, our brotherhood bonding became stronger and we became even more matured.

Mc:tell us what happen when you started your chemo?

All 13 of them, some smiling some looking down and some shooking and nodding their head.

Mc: it looks like different respond from you guys.

Hc: firstly seing yesung physical state even now we do really sad. He used to have chubby cheek, and normal weight back then but now as everyone can see….so we still working on gaining his weight. 

Mc: what kg are you now?

Ys: about 54 to 57kg

Leeteuk: 53kg now.

Leeteuk with serious face correcting yesung.

Mc:leeteuk shii you know better than he himself.

Leeteuk smile and he keep holding yesung hand.

Mc: I can see that you never let go yesung’s hand.

Leeteuk looks shocked,

Hc: that’s is leeteuk shii nowadays. He never be apart from yesung.

Leeteuk: ahh..its’ kind of relief when I hold his hand thus he always with me and I’ll know if something might happen to him I were always by his side.

Sw: leeteuk hyung never let go off yesung since from the very beginning until now. He always with yesung hyung and if we wanna do something with yesung hyung or yesung hyung wanna do something we must ask him first. Anything we wanna do we need to.

Leeteuk nodding his head 

Leeteuk: because as the eldest hyung and a leader, I felt responsible and at the same time I blame myself because I never realize that he’s not well. He lost his weight also we never realize because last year was a very busy year for us. So because of that and also I don’t want anything bad happen to him again, I have promise with myself to not let go of him. 

Yesung who act calm just now start to cry and once leeteuk finish talking yesung kiss leeteuk cheek and leeteuk turn to him shocked and then touch yesung’s face softly.

Hc: umm..ahh..i’m the second eldest. When this happen I realize that actually my responsible is big and I think I never do my responsibility to take care my dongsaeng very well. Sometime I feel like I’m a very bad hyung to them. I always busy with my personal schedule and so the others until we never realize that one of us is not well. Then when I saw yesung when he is in a very weak and skinnier like that, my tear just falling down endlessly. I don’t know what to do at that time. (hc hardly seen crying on broadcast crying that day)

Eh:hc-hyung never been on church before but the night when yesung hyung undergo the surgery, for the very first time he prayed

Heechul cannot continue as he cry hardly and yesung calm him down. Then whispering to hechul ‘gwenchana’ and one kisses also for heechul.

Mc: so sweet of all of you guys. There are 12 of you so how you take care of yesung since all of you have activities to attend. 

Ys: leeteuk hyung help me a lot and he talk to me a lot, he never left me alone, always make sure I have my medicine,always carry me and piggy back me when I was tired or fall off, always sleeping beside me because he afraid something might happen or I might hurt anywhere,he always scolding others if they did something harsh on me. kg, hk, hc my hyung, always make sure I went to check up on time, cheering me up and even often fall asleep on the corner of my bed beside me when I’m not feeling well. Rw, sm always prepare my favorite food becoz worried I didn’t have appetite to eat.Dh,sh,eh,kh,kb and even kb rarely with us, he call often and everytime .

Mc: wahhh…

Ys: kg also never leave me alone.when we go out for walk, he will prepare everything for me. The long coat to prevent cold, umbrella to avoid rain, water,little bit food and of course the medicine. When I was discharged, it was autumn and I love autumn so much so I ask hyung for a walk. But kangin he hand me a winter shirt for me to wear. Then I take another and he look like didn’t care but then when we walking out from the house he suddenly came from nowhere put on me a long winter coat. Then all of us went out and our fans keep shouting my name to get well soon. 

Kg: ahh… I just don’t want him to get sick. If I saw him look tired or pale the anxious feeling keep coming and sometime I feel like I wanna him be at home immediately if we go out somewhere.

Eh: kangin hyung always ask yesung hyung whether he ok or not, wanna him piggy back or not,and if yesung hyung look slow and pale he will immediately tell leeteuk hyung and they will take him home on the spot no matter what activities they were at that time.

Mc: yesung is no 1 of your preference?

Lt & kg: kuremyun.

Kg: sometime I don’t wanna him to walk, I carry him instead because I don’t wanna him to get tired. And yesung always mumble at my back wanna go down wanna walk but then when I put him down, just 5 minutes walk he will start sweating, dizzy and more.

Ys: my hair still not fully grown yet and I always wear bandana but in autumn, I the only one wear it and no one wear it among us so I feel like uneasy and unconfident. But then I think donghae, eunhyuk and siwon realize it and they come out from the house with bandana on too. So I really wanna thanks them all. I really appreciate them even more now.

Sm: when he in his treatment, chemo, he didn’t eat a lot and if he do eat something the he will throw out everything back. And sometime after chemo, he don’t even have energy to eat and even to chew the food. My heart really hurt when that time came as I see he didn’t eat anything and if he eat it’ll just like he doesn’t.

Mc: kuremyun..let’s just pray all of you have a healthy life especially for our yesung kun..

**********************************

Finish the recording, all of them pack things to go home and as expected a lot of fans are waiting outside. ‘all of them want to see yesung because such a long time, they didn’t have any latest picture of you.’ Manager have told them once they finish the recording. “yesung ah, don’t walk too far from me. Just make sure someone beside you all the time. We never know what they will do” kangin reminding yesung again while pack yesung’s things in a bag.”aja..”.kangin grab yesung hand and they walk together. All of them smiling at fans including yesung. Some of the fans crying as soon as yesung walk out from backstage. Yesung keep bowing and waving at the fans. They taking different car on their way back home.

Once they get in the car, “ahhh…”yesung sighed while holding his head.” Waeyo?hurt?gwenchana??” kangin look worried and other who heard him also looking at yesung with worry face. “yea? No..just dizzy a bit. Maybe because I keep bowing at them so much”. “umm, next time just bowing people a bit.”leeteuk respond to yesung. Yesung then put his head on shindong’s shoulder. “dong dong ah, I sleep on you for a while ok”. Shindong nodding his head and take a jacket to cover yesung’s body. Yesung then fall asleep. 

“hyung?we are home already.”shindong wake yesung up. “kenchana?” leeteuk helping yesung get off the car. Yesung smiling and then nodding his head. on their way inside the building,”hyung, I left my bags in the car, can we go get it?”. “alright then, the rest if you go upstairs first”. Leeteuk grab yesung’s hand and walk away. “hyung, I’ll go too”. Ryewook running like a little child following his hyung. 

While they on their way back some fans come approaching them. ‘yesung oppa!we miss to see you so much. How are you?’ the fans grab yesung’s hand and keep asking question. Leeteuk then “yesung oppa really tired right now. Can you please be give some space?” however the fans are not give up ‘oppa, can I take picture with you?’ those fans then pull yesung beside them to get picture. 

The fans grab yesung roughly ”hyung..”,yesung want to grab leeteuk hand but he didn’t make it. Leeteuk then grab yesung and push those fan away. Ryeowook also help him to control the situation but the fans are so aggressive and there are 10 of them, then ryeowook phone ringing. “why are you taking so long. Why is it so noisy?” kangin asking seriously “hyung, come down quick please. Fans are here and we cannot control them. We cannot control them.quick hyung.” Kangin and shindong then quickly rushed downstairs using stairs.

“yah!yah!..yesung ah!hyung!”kangin still on the last stair shouting. “hyung! here” reowook shouting for kangin. “you people, please, let go off yesung.he still unwell” kangin still control his voice and try to grab yesung.the fan circle around yesung and yesung cannot do anything and he keep looking down and he seems suffocated. “you lie. We seen him on broadcast just now. He look just fine.””yah! let go off him” kangin approach them and pull yesung from them.”yesung ah, come here give me your hand”, however as yesung give his hand, the fans grab it quickly. “oppa, just let us be with him for a while”.”ah,hyung…let me go”.yesung struggle himself.”NO!!!HE NEED REST NOW. Let go off him!if anything happen to him I will never let all of you go!” kangin still strugling. “Kangin ah, be careful, don’t let him hurt.” “araso hyung. Help me. Hold these girls. ahh..really annoying”, with his full energy he pull again this time and he succeed but because it was too hard, yesung fall off on the floor with kangin under him. “hyung!” reowook shouting as he saw kangin and yesung fall. “you see. We don’t need this kind of fans! I told you yesung still in recovery. Please just go away!”leeteuk push them all as they stunned as yesung fall off. 

Those fans running away.”hyung?” shindong arrive a lilttle bit late and reowook helping yesung and kangin up. Reowook crying at that time. While kangin want to get up he looks at yesung on him “yah, kenchana? Did you hurt anywhere” kangin hold yesung face to look at him. “hyung!he’s bleeding” yesung nose bleeding but he still conscious. They quickly lift him up. At that time, heechul arrive with siwon. “hyung? Wae gure?”as soon as they saw yesung bleeding, siwon quickly carry yesung up with his arm and get inside the lift.

Everyone was worried and anxious. Leeteuk then call sungmin upstairs “sungmin ah, prepare something, he’s bleeding” sungmin was surprised as they were at the 12th floor didn’t know anything immediately take things needed. leeteuk run as soon they reached 11th floor where yesung’s things are placed. Donghae quickly open the door and siwon get in with yesung in his arm.siwon then put yesung on his bed. 

Outside the room,”what exactly happen hyung?”donghae asking leeteuk. “umm..i don’t know. Its my fault. I was too tired and left yesung behind and didn’t realize they grab him.”leeteuk was very regret.

“hyung, don’t said like that, i also didn’t realize it”.reowook adding to comfort leeteuk.reowook with tears still in his eyes, “they grab him hardly and keep asking him lots of thing and they kissing, hugging him tightly and even take pictures with him. I can see him avoiding them so hard. He looks like so scared, shocked and suffocated too at that time but we can not do anything as there were lots of them”. Siwon then pull reowook into his arm.” Kenchana, I think he just too tired today”.” I need to put lots of energy when I pull him in just now”. 

While they keep worrying about yesung, sungmin and eunhyuk still with yesung. “hyung?are you okay. Wanna me call for doctor?” eunhyuk ask yesung again and again “I’m fine.i’m just tired..ahh..my head still hurt. Why are those girls like that, I was so shocked and I hardly breath”. he talking to them in slow voice.after have some medication he then sleep deeply. sungmin help yesung change his clothes and then they found out on yesung’ wrist, there were like bruises like he was being grab hardly. “eunhyuk ah, look at this” sungmin show it to eunhyuk and eunhyuk cover his mouth didn’t belive it. “let’s put something on it so that he didn’t feel any pain of it” after done everything and pull the blanket to cover yesung’s body they went out.

“how is he?” leeteuk asking them as he see they are out.”I think he more on shocked being treated like that. And one more thing, you need to see this,” all of them follow sungmin from behind and then he show them the bruises. “when he get that?” heechul asking them. “I think from just now because he didn’t have it yesterday or even before we went for broadcast today and I’m so sure as I’m the one help him with his outfit .”

They went out and everyone just keep silent. “yah..don’t worry so much. It’s just the fans”.heechul try to make up mood. “we must really careful next time. Don’t expose him too much by himself.”leeteuk reminding everyone and they nodding their head. Suddenly, “hyung?hyung..” they heard voice sound like whispering. “slow down the volume, I kind heard something.”eunhyuk then slow down the volume. “ah!” sungmin quickly run to yesung’s room. Everyone surprise seing him like that. “oh.its yesung hyung” then leeteuk and kangin also rushed in yesung’s room. 

“hyung?waeyo?you hurt somewhere?” sungmin quickly grab yesung as he started to lift his body up.”sungmin ah, I cannot hold it anymore. My head, so woozy..” other coming in then,”yesung ah, waeyo?”.”hyung..” yesung calling leeteuk in very weak voice and start to cry a little bit as he hold leeteuk’s hand so tight. 

Leeteuk then take yesung in his arm and hug him and hold his hand. But then yesung silent and his hand unhold with leeteuk hand. “yah, yesung ah!yah” leeteuk was so panic as yesung didn’t respond to him. “hyung!relax... Sungmin tell others, prepare the car we need to go to hospital now.”sungmin rushes out and do exactly what kangin said. Everyone become nervous and uneasy, siwon then grab his car keys, “hyung, I’ll drive. Quick”.kangin then lift yesung on his back and they went to hospital. Other are following behind with shindong’s and eunhyuk’s car. Heechul put jacket on yesung and hold yesung’s back while kangin lift him up.

In the car, “I thought he just fine. Hyung!you said he is fine now.!” khuhyun who keep silent from beginning finally said something together with his tears. Heechul pull him in his arm. “who knows.maybe its all because that accident just now. I bet its nothing serious”.’how come you are so sure!” khuhyun again raise up his voice..”khuhyun ah don’t be rude”.eunhyuk seriously glared at his dongsaeng.

Yesung was push to emergency room. All of them waited outside worriedly. “I hope nothing serious” siwon try to comfort the rest. As the doctor came out ‘his temperature quite high right now. But he’s just fine maybe shocked a little a bit.’ Everyone were so relief and waiting inside the room. All of them fall asleep in that room that night.