About halfway through March was when I finally broke. I could no longer hide the truth from Lana; it was too painful. And yes, seeing my friend heartbroken would be horrible for both of us, but I realized that to continue lying to her would be an even worse thing to do.

It was an overcast Monday, to the point where rain seemed almost inevitable. I'd woken up earlier than my alarm had been set for, because of how fitfully I'd been sleeping to begin with. I'd tried several things to calm myself down: Listening to music, distracting myself by thinking of other things, even trying to quiet my thoughts completely so I'd drift off. Nothing helped. I was too stressed out over what was coming.

In the end, I rose from my bed and got dressed almost on autopilot as I tried to figure out exactly what to say to Lana. I was far from being the best at putting what I needed to say into words when I was this tired and this anxious.

I had been awake for nearly forty-five minutes when my alarm finally went off. I sighed and shut it off, taking this time to finally put my usual makeup on as I heard the usual sounds of Abigail clattering around the kitchen as she made breakfast. Judging by the smells wafting down the hallway, she'd chosen bacon, eggs and toast today. While my anxiety was eating away at my appetite, I knew I would eat the bacon no matter what. I could never refuse bacon; it was just too damn good.

I went through my bag one last time, checked to make sure no homework had been forgotten about and checked my messages to find almost nothing there besides a good morning text from Josh, which made my heart flutter for a moment before a feeling of guilt made it stop.

How on Earth could I let myself enjoy moments like this when I was about to give Lana the news that would deprive her of experiencing them with Dallas? What the hell was wrong with me?

Okay, stop, I scolded myself, You need to calm down. Don't do this to yourself, Alex.

And I knew my sister would say the same thing. Even so, I finally left my room and joined Abigail at the table, where she immediately noticed the state I was in. "You okay?" she asked me, her voiced laced with genuine concern.

"No," I mumbled as I began eating my bacon, "I'm scared, Abi."

"It'll be okay," Abi promised me, "It's not like this is your fault. We all thought the spell was permanent. You just...weren't powerful enough t make it that way. I'm sure Lana will get it."

"I know she will, but she'll be heartbroken. I hate knowing I have to put he through that. I've been going over all this in my head for weeks and I'm sure, Abi, if you could read my mind it would drive you insane."

"I won't argue that point," Abi tried to tease me, but it didn't do any good. She sighed. "Just...whatever you do, don't put it off anymore. They're already here on borrowed time anyway, so the longer Lana stays oblivious the more it'll hurt her when she does find out the truth. Okay?"

"I know," I replied miserably, "I'm going to tell her today no matter what. I promise."

"Good," said Abigail. "Hey, are you planning on eating the other stuff, or is the bacon enough for you today?"

"The bacon's enough," I pushed the mostly-full plate aside and went to brush my teeth before heading downstairs to wait for Destiny. "Bye."

"See you later," she called just as the apartment door closed behind me. Ponyboy, Johnny, Two-Bit and Steve were already downstairs waiting when I got there, waiting for Josh to pick them up. I waved hello to them but didn't say much of anything. They didn't ask why; I could tell they understood already.

Josh and Destiny both pulled up to the front of the building after a few minutes and as soon as I got into Destiny's van, I saw Lana half-asleep in the passenger's seat. "Hi, Alex," Destiny greeted me. Then she saw my face. "You okay? You don't look well."

"I'm fine," I lied, because I didn't want to drag Destiny into this. She was dealing with enough right now as it was. I couldn't bring her into it anyway, because doing that would require me to tell her about everything: my powers, who the guys really were, everything.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should see the nurse when we get there," suggested Kate, who was in the seat next to me.

I shook my head. "No," I told her a bit more firmly, "I'll be okay."

I'll wait until the final bell, I told myself, when classes are done for the day. Then I'll tell her.

My friends weren't the only ones who noticed something was wrong; Vanessa did, too. Only hers wasn't exactly a sympathetic approach.

"Wow, Carmen, you look like shit," she remarked cruelly, "What's the matter? Is your pathetic life finally starting to fall apart?"

"Fuck off, Vanessa," I muttered, placing my head on my desk and trying to block her out.

Vanessa walked away, apparently satisfied. I had a feeling she was still going to look for anything she could use against me; that was just what she did. But now, I suspected, she would also be searching for whatever had me feeling like this.

Lessons went by in a bit of a blur as I forced myself to pay attention and take notes, while lunch went by painfully slowly since my appetite had not improved much. About halfway through, Jessie handed me a granny smith apple and said, "Here, eat this. You need to get something in your system."

I took the apple from her. "Thanks," I told her, and tried to get myself to eat it. I managed to eat most of it, to my surprise, but I couldn't bring myself to finish it completely.

Then, once afternoon classes had finished, it was time to do what I'd been dreading all along: Break the news to Lana.

I met up with Lana as she was exiting the girls' bathroom, looking very pleased and heading in the direction of the main doors. She turned when I called for her, walked back over to me and asked, "What's up?"

"I have something really important to tell you," I began, and paused for a moment to peek around the corner for any remaining students. There was no one. "Just...please don't hate me, okay?"

Lana's smile faded. "Alex, what's going on?"

I had no idea where to begin, but I knew I couldn't turn back now. "You know that spell I cast? The one that made it possible for the guys to stay?"

"Yeah..." Lana responded slowly. I think she knew where this was headed judging by the look on her face. She was very perceptive; I'd known that from the beginning.

"I thought I'd made it permanent, Lana, I really did," I continued, "But I didn't. I'm not powerful enough. It's only temporary, and it will break soon." Tears were beginning to fall, now. I let them.

Lana put the pieces together at once. "So they can't stay. Because once the spell breaks, everyone will know who they are."

"Yeah," I said miserably, "We have to send them back before that happens and the longest we're allowed to wait is until July. I was planning to do it right after the festival, though, to be safe."

Lana was beginning to cry, too. "How long have you known, Alex?"

I swallowed painfully. "Lana, I—"

"How long?" She repeated.

"Over a month."

Lana's eyes widened, then they became angry. "You knew this for over a month and you didn't tell me?"

"I was scared! I didn't want to hurt you," I tried to explain, "I saw how happy you were with Dallas, and – and I didn't want to ruin that for you."

Lana was silent for a moment as something else seemed to click. "Did you tell him already? And the others?"

"I – Yeah," I answered. I couldn't meet her eyes. "Right after I found out. I told them to let me be the one to tell you and—"

"I hope you realize, Alex, that by leaving me as the only one not knowing about this, while refusing to tell me when you should have, you've only made my pain worse."

By this point, both of us were crying heavily and, though I didn't notice it at the time, I was causing locker doors to open and close, their contents to float all around the hallway.

"You're supposed to be my friend," Lana continued, "but if that were the case you never would have waited this long to tell me something this important."

She began to walk away, ignoring the binder that narrowly missed her left ear.

"Lana, I'm so sorry!" I cried after her, but it was too late. Lana was already out of the school.

I allowed myself to collapse to my knees as I continued sobbing, my makeup running down my face and school supplies still flying all around me. Locker doors continued to operate of their own accord. Papers began to break free from the binders that held them, raining down and landing on the floor around where I sat, head down and unable to control myself or my magic. I was a complete mess, and I couldn't even begin to imagine how betrayed Lana was feeling.

What have I done?

If only I had known the situation was worse than it seemed. If only I had seen Vanessa standing there, watching the entire scene from around the corner with a villainous grin etched across her face.