COURAGE

At over fifty years-old, Charlene made me rediscover the lessons of wisdom that Alegria had taught me when I was only a teenager: trample my pain, fuck the world, and make my own choices. Charlene took me to the clubs where the people society liked to torture went to blow off steam, trampling their pain, fucking the world, and making their own choices. In the middle of the 21st century, mentalities hadn't changed much or at least, they were taking small steps forward and many steps backward depending on the priorities of society at that time. If there was enough food for everyone, everyone could openly do or be whatever they wanted, but whenever food or any other resources happened to run out, only those who could reproduce the world in their own ideal image had the right to be. Men had adapted, but still hadn't learnt anything. According to them, the survival of the human species still had to go through oppression and conformity.

On the other hand, Mother Nature held a completely different opinion on the matter and she had decided otherwise. She wanted a world as vast and mysterious as the universe, a world where any shape, any colour, any possible combination could see the light of day, to have, and to create. Mother Nature had given birth to us and she wanted to see us thrive, not just survive. She pushed us out of her womb, out of our cages, out of our caves to exist into the same world that rejected us, a world that didn't want itself.

***

"I have to tell you something," I began seriously, addressing Ousmane in the vehicle as he was about to get out. He turned to me, his eyes weary, but curious.

"I'm getting married," I said quickly.

Ousmane opened his eyes wide as if to say: So, what? What do I give a fuck! But, instead of getting those words out of his mouth, he answered me in a questioning tone:

"Congratulations dad! That's good news, isn't it?"

"Yes, but there's also something else..." I continued shyly. I looked straight ahead to catch my breath then I turned back to him to say in a low, but clear voice:

"My fiancée is transsexual,"

Ousmane opened his eyes wide again, shaking his head with a small smirk. Then, he looked ahead as if to stare at an imaginary friend, then he opened his mouth to tell me what he really had on his mind and in his heart:

"Dad! You're the old one with out-dated ideas of the last century," he began without hiding the irritation in his voice. "You don't think I have my own sex life to worry about! I don't really care who you fuck or marry; your sex life is your business. You could marry a tree if you wanted to, I wouldn't even care... but wait a minute!" He added, pretending to turn back to his imaginary friend. "Did I say tree? There isn't a single one left on Earth, now!" He snapped, turning to stare at me. "The old folks have knocked them all down because the only thing they've always thought about since the dawn of time is their own ass. Everything else and everyone else, they never gave a damn!"

I remained stupid and silent for a moment in front of the judgments of my son for the whole human race. Ousmane shook his head again before continuing more calmly:

"There are only the two of us, dad! It's just you and me. We're not going to fight over your sex life because you don't want to die alone." The door of the vehicle opened as Ousmane leaned towards it. "She, he, they are welcome in the family!" He added. Ousmane got out of the vehicle, turned to me again to give me a wink as the door was closing automatically behind him.

Ousmane hadn't even given me the chance to take the courage to tell him that Charlene lived in the United States and that I wanted to settle there with her and him too if he wanted to come and live with us. He was finishing his last year in high school and he had no idea what to do with his life. I still wasn't the brave man I aspired to be, but I was getting close. 

That conversation with Ousmane that day inspired me to take an interest in politics to become one of those leaders who have the power to make decisions and bring about change. The words of the cyborg with whom the general had negotiated the liberation of the rich countries came back to my mind like a ghost. Again, I had been so absorbed in my own suffering, confined to the warmth and comfort of my own ass that I hadn't seen the warning signs of the growing pain from everything and everyone around me.

Could an ordinary, not-brave-enough man like me do anything to change all that?