LOYALTY

When I introduced Feliz to Chris, he gave me a questioning look that I struggled to grasp. He spoke much better Spanish then, so the three of us could converse without me having to be the interpreter.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Chris exclaimed, watching Feliz walk away.

"What do you mean?" I asked, intrigued.

"Well...don't tell me you haven't noticed?" He resumed, amazed. "Well, I mean, yes, she's beautiful, but it's obvious!" He continued, fidgeting on his chair as if it had caught fire.

"Notice what?" I asked, curious, and worried at the same time.

"Feliz is trans! Do you know what that means!?" He said, widening his eyes and raising his hands as if the revelation was obvious.

Yet for me, it wasn't. The revelation struck me like a bomb.

***

When I got home, I sank into the living room sofa without a word, staring at my slumped sad reflection on the television screen in front of me.

"Oh no, Dear Lord! Misfortune has struck again in my son's life!" Alegria exclaimed sarcastically when she saw me.

She leaned over the table to reach for the radio and turned up the volume. The radio screeched to the beat of the salsa playing. Alegria leapt from her chair to grab my arm and pull me off the sofa towards her.

"Come on...Come on...Come on, let's dance!" She insisted, still pulling me by the arm.

"I don't feel like dancing, Alegria," I said sadly, letting my body fall heavy and weary on the sofa.

"It's precisely during those moments that you have to dance, Borys. Come on!" She retorted as she started to dance while holding my arm.

"One, I trample my pain; two, fuck the world; three, I make my choices. Come on Borys! She said in time to the music, one step at a time. "One, I trample my pain; two, fuck the world; three, I make my choices. One, I trample my pain; two, fuck the world; three, I make my choices..."

Amused by Alegria's words on the rhythms of the song, I let myself be tempted and rose to seize her by the hand and by her hip to make her turn: One, I trample my pain; two, fuck the world; three, I make my choices. With feline agility, Alegria followed my every step twisting and turning while my body moved to the rhythm of the music. The more we danced, the more the fire in my chest revived, refusing to return to a state of total extinction. Soon, a smile came to rest on my face like a butterfly at the thought of being able to dance again with Feliz. 

One, I trample my pain; two, fuck the world; three, I make my choices. Alegria was right again. I could decide to choose Feliz the same way she had accepted herself.