THE ATTRACTION, LUST, AFFECTION, COMPLICITY AND LOYALTY OF MAN

"Love?" Alegria resumed, opening big shining eyes.

"Men's and women's love from people who want to sell or buy love is always conditional," she continued earnestly, raising her index finger to the ceiling. "It's not love you have to look for, Borys; love you already have. We all have love within. Love sparkles like a light inside of us and that's what we can sometimes see beautiful in others, like our own reflection in a mirror," she began before continuing: "On the other hand, what will always be lacking in the life of a man or a woman are attraction, lust, affection, complicity and loyalty for another human being. Alone, human bodily expression and experience aren't the same."

"What's the difference?" I asked, interested.

"What difference?" She repeated, frowning.

"The difference between attraction, lust and the other stuff you've just mentioned?" I asked impatiently.

"Ah yes... these aren't things to explain, we have to experience them," she replied immediately. "But, to answer your question very simply: attraction is when you find someone beautiful either in appearance or in character and you want to get closer to them; lust is when you want to satisfy your own sexual needs with someone else's body; affection is a bit like compassion; complicity is like friendship, but much stronger; and loyalty is staying true to your promises to yourself and others."

She stopped short. She remained silent for a while staring at me as her words penetrated my whole being. 

Why didn't they explain it like that in films?

"Have you felt them all in your life, Alegria?" I asked with a panting heart.

"Yes, I have, Borys," she began with a smile before adding: "But never at the same time and even more rarely with the same person." She continued, smiling fondly at me: "Contrary to the stories told, the couples who 'work' or 'stay together' aren't necessarily the ones who supposedly really love each other. Providing for someone's emotional needs and providing for someone's sexual or financial needs are very different things. Even more so in a world where it's other people and society that decide who you're much better off with."

She paused for a moment then she continued with a smile:

"Having said that, it can happen once or twice in a lifetime that you experience all five at the same time with the same person, but like I said, never at the same time. However, if you get that chance even once in your life, be prepared to be consumed like a moth, irresistibly drawn to the heat of a light that can destroy you."

She paused again for a moment to look intently at me.

"Attraction isn't always reliable because it too often comes from our conditioning in early childhood and the images that society feeds us with throughout our lives; lust is easy, but always fleeting; complicity can come quickly, but it requires courage; loyalty requires trust; and not everyone knows how to appreciate or give affection to others," she said softly.

She smiled at me for a long moment as if to encourage me to go and seek out my bodily expression and experience for myself instead of just sitting there, listening to her like a good boy. Then, she slowly got up from her chair to go back to her bags on the counter, humming her favourite salsa tune, leaving me at the table with my reflection and my thoughts.