Hamza had never seen the sun come up, he had always romanticized it because he always thought he would watch it for the first time with the love of his life.

Now that he had actually watched it, he disliked it.

He hadn't slept all night and when he had watched the sun come up for the first time, he felt nothing.

Maybe because she wasn't present there or maybe because he had a heartbreaking fight with her the last night.

That day was the first time he would be going to work without breakfast. The first time he didn't feel hungry.

In conclusion, he felt like shit.

As he tied his tie, he looked over to Zaib sleeping on their bed.

He wondered how she could sleep so peacefully given what her situation had been last night.

He walked over to her, crouching down, he realized that even though she had seemed like she was sleeping peacefully, her brows were furrowed and her lips were pursed. Her eyes looked swollen and her nose, puffy.

He put a hand on her cheek, smoothing the worry lines on her face.
"Why do you do this, Zaib? I wish you would talk to me. I don't like fighting with you."

He didn't know if she could hear him but he hoped she couldn't. He didn't want to face her because he felt like this was an individual battle and wherever she needed his help, she would ask for it.
At least he hoped she would.

He moved forward, kissing her forehead, letting his lips linger there.

Then he walked out of the house and into his car, his head swarmed with a million emotions. All his anger replaced by sadness. All his confusion replaced with curiosity.

His father had always taught him that one of the main rules of driving was to stay clear headed, to focus on the road.

Too bad he couldn't do that today for not less than fifteen minutes later, he saw a bus coming at him, before everything went dark.

————————————

She woke up this morning feeling worse than she usually did.
She knew why, it was because of him.

This is why she didn't want to get married in the first place, because she already had a mind full of all kinds of emotions and feelings. The world and her fate hadn't given her enough liberation to feel this..mushy feeling for Hamza.
Yet, here she was.

She got out of bed and found a yellow note stuck on the bathroom door.
Leaving for work. Don't freak out.

Maybe this was why she had to give herself the liberty to feel these things for him, because he wasn't bad, not at all.

She brushed her teeth, changed and as she sat down to eat breakfast all by herself, she came up with a plan to make it up to him.
She wasn't going to explain anything to him, she didn't think she was at that point yet but fighting with him made her realize how important he was becoming to her and she had to do something to make things better.

——————————

The sun had gone down, his favorite dish had been cooked, she had put on lipstick, his work hours were over.

Only, Hamza was nowhere to be found.

She had called him numerous times but it had gone straight to voicemail and her tension levels were rising with each passing minute.

She looked over to the clock again and drummed her fingers on the tabletop. The food had gone cold hours ago.

With no other option in mind, she was about to call the police, when the bell rang.

What stood on the other end made her knees tremble. Her eyes opened wide, staring ahead in shock.

She noticed his black eye, the bandage across his forehead, the cast on his right hand, the cut on his upper lip, as she heard the story of what could have been her husband's death.

It felt as if all the breath had been knocked out of her.
Breathing became a task too difficult to handle for her fragile body.

"I was the one he was calling when the accident happened so instead of going through his contacts to find you, the people who found him just talked to me instead. He wanted to come home as soon as he regained consciousness."
Hamza's friend, the one who drove him here, told her.

"Thank you, Bilal." She said, voice devoid of any emotion as she stared ahead at Hamza.
His head hung low as if he were some teenager ashamed of his doing.

"You're welcome, I'll give you two some time. Take care, buddy."
Bilal patted Hamza's shoulder and walked away.

They stood there, having an intense staring match with the floor.
He pushed past her and entered the house, giving her time to gather her thoughts.

She could've lost him. He could have died. What would she do then?

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm herself down. She had to gather herself right now, she had to go after him, she could react later.
She wiped her tears and took long breaths but all in vain, nothing in the world was going to calm her down.

She walked to their bedroom and watched him sit down on the bed, struggling to take off his shirt to change.
Tears filled her eyes again at the thought of never seeing him ever again. Life seemed dreadful.

She walked in, two tears making their way down her face.
She carefully caught his hand in hers and looked at him as if asking for his permission to help.
He looked down, sighing.

She carefully removed his white shirt with red drops of blood on it. She ran her fingers over the stains, looking at him with a face full of tears. He looked down again.

Then she put his t shirt over his head.
"Can you please get my deodorant, I smell like a hospital." His voice seemed rough, like he hadn't spoken in hours.

She smiled through her tears. She had married the right man, a man who thought he smelled like a hospital even when he didn't.
It was a weird thing to be smiling at this, but it was a thing only she could understand.

The smile soon vanished when she thought about how she could've lost this perfect man today.

When she was finished dressing him up he lay down on the bed, wincing.
She covered him up with a blanket.
"Are you okay?" She asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
He simply nodded, staring at her.

It hadn't even happened, but just the thought of never seeing her face again made him mad at himself. Mad because he had been so careless.

They say that before you die, you see your life flash before your eyes.
He had always been a man with various experiences, ranging from sad to happy and everything flashed before his eyes at that moment but one thing shone the brightest, Zaib.

It felt like a betrayal to a lifetime of his memories but he couldn't help it, two days spent with her overpowered twenty six years of his life.

Her smile overpowered all his happy memories and her tears overpowered all his sad memories.

"I could've lost you." She said.
Her voice was filled with so much pain and fear, he felt himself shudder.

He hadn't expected her to say anything, much less say this.
Yes, she had been crying the entire time as she helped him change his clothes but he didn't think she could care this much.

"I do care, Hamza. I'm not made of  stone."

He didn't know what to say, and he didn't have to for she didn't wait for any reaction, she just ran off to the bathroom.

She shut the door loudly behind her, falling to the ground. She put a hand over her mouth so he couldn't hear her cry.

She had cried uncountable times in her life but this time the cries generated from within her, ripping her apart tear by tear.
She thought about what her last moments with him would be if something had happened to him today.

Her last words to him would be her telling him he just wanted to have her fun with him, her last touch would be one she ran away from.

When she thought about life without him, the purpose of it seemed stupid, the world seemed unimaginable.

She never wanted to be scared again, ever. If she hadn't gotten scared they wouldn't have had a fight last night and he wouldn't have lost focus while driving.
She didn't even want to think about living without him. The thought made her feel like she was trapped in an inescapable room.

All she felt at the moment was pain, excruciating pain. It felt as if someone had reached into her and pulled out her heart. There was a pit in her stomach that seemed to only get bigger with every thought of his near death experience.

Her sobs wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she tried. She splashed cold water on her face, her sobs still consistent. It seemed physically impossible not to cry at the moment, all her sadness seemed to have gathered in her eyes as her tears, in the lump in her throat, in the pit in her stomach.

She walked out of the bathroom and crawled into her bed, trying her best to wipe her tears but failing.

His back was towards her and she hesitantly put her arm around his waist. He caught her hand in his, skimming his thumb over her knuckles.
The butterflies in her stomach returned again and so did her tears.

It's true that the fear of losing something makes you love it even more and now that she had been so close to losing him, she wished to be with him forever. She wished to tell him everything about her and to learn everything about him. She wanted to give everything to this marriage that was more precious than she had realized before and the only way to do that was through the truth.

She lightly pressed her lips to his shoulder.
"We need to talk"