Between Haya and Zayan, she had always been the extrovert.

She always knew what she was feeling, how to express it and most importantly, how to handle her feelings.
It was one of the things that added to her aura of confidence.

She had always been the star, Zayan's star.
She shone the brightest even in the gathering of thousands of people and she was radiant even in the darkest of nights.
Most importantly, she had always been his rock, always been his guide and had almost always been his way towards what was fun and good.

As he stood beside her hospital bed, Zayan didn't feel as if he was standing next to the girl with the blindingly bright personality, the realization of which made his heart sink to his stomach

Right now, it wasn't only Haya that felt lost, Zayan felt lost too.

He had no idea what to do if your guide broke down midway.

He sat in front of her on the hospital bed that smelled of medicines and not of flowers like her usual bed.

"Haya, talk to me"
The sentence was the best that he could come up with at the moment.

Meanwhile, Haya felt like every part of her was numb and lifeless. She didn't know how to move or respond to anything.
She could feel the pain in her heart. She could feel the anger in her veins. But she wasn't quite sure what to do with those feelings, she didn't know how to react.

She wanted to run away, and not just metaphorically.
She was actually thinking about what would happen if she just sprinted out of the room and ran as far as she could until her legs gave out and she passed out in front of some stranger's house.
Then the strangers would try to look for her relatives but nobody would claim to be related to her, not even her parents, because they wouldn't recognize her with this...burnt face.

Or maybe that was too far fetched. Maybe she could just swallow a handful of sleeping pills and leave her parents a suicide note telling them to tell the world that she didn't commit suicide and instead come up with a better fitting excuse for her death so that her parents wouldn't have to face the shame, and she would tell them to move on with their lives because she was what was holding them back.

It surprised her that she didn't even flinch when she thought of writing a suicide note to her parents, or dying for that matter.

To be honest it seemed like the best option right now.

If Haya could picture her brain right now it would probably look like her headphones when they had been in her pocket for too long.
Maybe even that was an understatement.

Between the loud chaos in her mind, albeit blurry, Haya heard Zayan's voice asking her to talk to him, she understood him too, but she didn't know how to act on what he had asked of her.

She knew she was hanging on by a thread, that at any given moment she would burst into tears.
The lump in her throat was very evident to her but she pushed that aside, she knew crying wouldn't solve a thing right now.

"Haya?"
Zayan, who had just been staring at her emotionless face for five minutes, interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmm?"
Was all she managed to utter.

"Come on, you can't just stay quiet like this forever. You have to tell me what you're thinking or your head is going to explode. I know better than anyone that you can't contain your emotions for long." He said

"I..I don't know what to say Zayan. I have no idea what I'm feeling. Actually, I do, but it's all just so jumbled up" She rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers that weren't bandaged.

"Then tell me all of it. I'm the only person you will talk to right now, everyone knows that. Even your parents know you won't talk to them, they clearly can't handle it." He explained and she nodded.

"I feel confused. I feel angry. I feel betrayed. I feel stupid. I feel like I should run away. I feel shattered. I feel....I feel burnt. I feel like my identity has been stolen from me. Is that enough or do you want more emotions?" She looked right at him and he looked away.

"I... I might not be an expert in consoling people, like you are, and I might not know what to say every time someone's in a bad mood, but I do believe one thing. I believe that my best friend is not one of those people who go down without a fight. I believe that my Haya is a fighter. So, yes, you're an emotional mess right now, but I also know you will learn how to handle and deal with all your emotions. But you need to remember that it will not happen overnight. You need to give it time."
He smiled at her, and for a second she felt like all was right in the world, she felt as if time had stopped.

That was the thing about Zayan, he always thought he was horrible at consoling her but she couldn't even count the times that one of his pep talks inspired her to do something great.

He always brought out the best in her, always made her feel like she could move mountains.

Only this time, the rational part of her brain kept reminding her that this was a way tougher battle than any she had ever fought.

This was not like the time her mother didn't talk to her for two weeks because she had been rude to her, or like the time she had fell down from her bike, or like the time when her sister wouldn't return her precious doll.

It wasn't like any of her bad times.
It was the worst of times.

"Look at you being all consoling" She smiled, or tried to at least because Zayan didn't need to know her inner turmoil, nobody needed to know what was going on inside her.

"Yeah well, I'm a man of many talents."
He fixed his collar.

She tried to laugh but all that came out of her mouth was a painful sound as a sharp pain shot through her flesh, all because she tried to laugh.

She just shook her head in defeat.
Of course she couldn't laugh. How could she forget?
He damaged all that she held close to her heart.

"How long have I been out and why?" Haya finally managed to voice the question she had been trying to ask all along.

"A day. Every time you woke up, you would be screaming your lungs out because of a bad dream and everybody tried to control you but you just talked gibberish and screamed so the doctors had to put you to sleep. You were doing damage to yourself. That's why everyone was so relieved that you woke up normally today." He explained to her

"Wow, I don't even remember half of that."
She could sense the hopelessness dripping from her voice and she felt weak.
Just like he wanted her to be, and she wanted to punch herself for that.

How could she do that, though?
With her burnt hands?

"What do I do now, Zayan? I can't live like this. I don't want to feel damaged all the time." Haya said

"And you don't have to. The doctors explained some good ideas to us about surgery when you were out but your parents wouldn't allow anything until they had your consent. So you should talk with the doctors." He suggested

She nodded and drew in a sharp breath, almost as if preparing herself for a chat only.

Deep inside, she knew that she wasn't scared of the talk, she was scared of what would happen after.

Right now the actual damage was concealed behind the bandages.
She was scared of what lay beneath the bandages.

Moreover, she was afraid of how she would react to what lay beneath.