❛ I tried to love you but you're not my type. Tried to pretend but it just don't feel right to be your number one. ❜

SEASON 1, EPISODE 7
this is happening

"ED! NIKITA! IT'S a disaster!" Stede exclaimed dramatically as they returned. He held pieces of the map between his fists, and his mouth curved into a horrified frown. "The map caught on fire, but there are still a few scraps that didn't completely burn."

⠀⠀⠀"Ah, give it up, Stede!" Blackbeard said, walking across the clearing to Lucius, ready to head back to the ship. "All adventures have a natural conclusion, and this one's more than fitting."

⠀⠀⠀"No, I think I can fix this," Stede assured him, crouching to the ground and tried piecing the leftover bits together. "Come on! The day's not fully ruined."

⠀⠀⠀"God, he'll probably be moping all the way back to the ship," Blackbeard muttered to himself, looking down at his feet, waiting for Stede to realize they'd come to the end of their journey.

⠀⠀⠀"You don't have to be a dick about it," Lucius told him.

⠀⠀⠀"What?" Blackbeard snapped at him, staring down his nose with a fiery glare at the boy.

⠀⠀⠀"I said, don't be a dick," Lucius retorted, and Nikita was surprised he'd grown a spine to talk back to him like that. "Okay? Cause he's put together this whole outing for you."

⠀⠀⠀"For me? Why?" Blackbeard asked, the malice leaving his tone and replaced with stark confusion. He turned to stare at Stede, picking at the bits of the map, hoping to find the answer there.

⠀⠀⠀"Look, you're very cool, and you wear leather, okay? So, maybe you won't understand this," Lucius told him harshly. "But everyone is worried all of the time whether they're interesting or adventurous enough for you. And that bizarre little man over there likes you very much, and you like him. And if you can't get over yourself long enough to realize that, you're gonna end up another leather-clad, middle-aged, sad-sack dying alone in a puddle of his own piss."

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard started at Stede, wrought with confusion until it finally dawned on him. He glanced at Nikita, who shrugged, then back to Lucius.

⠀⠀⠀"You can stab me in the face now," Lucius said quickly, still keeping up his stern demeanor.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard turned away from him and slowly walked to stand over Stede. Beside Nikita, Lucius let all of the air out of his lungs and fell over to rest his hands on his knees.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, thank god," he said to himself. He stood back up and turned to Nikita beside him. "I really thought he was going to kill me."

⠀⠀⠀"Brave of you," Nikita said, impressed. A smile lifted at the edges of her lips, and Lucius grew even more uncomfortable. "No one talks back to Blackbeard."

⠀⠀⠀"Suppose I am brave," Lucius commented. He straightened his shoulders, puffed his chest out, and let a curl of a smile come to his lips.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard turned sharply to the two over his shoulder, then waved his hand for them to join him.

⠀⠀⠀"That little bit there on that little scrappy bit of paper," Blackbeard began, pointing at the piece Stede held between pinched fingers. "That looks like a tree, doesn't it, boy?"

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, no, definitely. It does to me," Lucius agreed, stumbling over his words.

⠀⠀⠀"And the, the other little squiggly bit, Nikki," Blackbeard continued, glancing at her. "What's that look like?"

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, like a, um, a road," Nikita stated with a firm nod.

⠀⠀⠀"Or a river," Lucius added.

⠀⠀⠀"Road. R-road or a river," Blackbeard agreed. "Maybe, yeah. Clear as day, mm. You know what? I think, just with this little bit here, we could probably sort this out."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah?" Stede asked, hope refueling him as he stared up at Blackbeard.

⠀⠀⠀"They're all the pieces we need," Blackbeard assured him. "Plus, the rest of the map was basically just blank space, anyway."

⠀⠀⠀"Hm, shall I prepare the shovel, or...?" Lucius asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Uh, well, we didn't come all this way to not dig something up!" Blackbeard exclaimed.

⠀⠀⠀"Right!" Lucius agreed, bending down to pick up the shovel and removed the bag protecting the glass end.

⠀⠀⠀"Right! That's the spirit. Okay," Stede cheered, looking over the clearing to find the path. "This way... I think. Come on!"

⠀⠀⠀Stede headed on their journey while the three waited a moment until he was out of earshot.

⠀⠀⠀"That was very sweet," Lucius cooed.

⠀⠀⠀"Don't... or I'll have Nikki stab you in your fuckin' face," Blackbeard muttered.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita pulled her knife from its sheath and tossed it, so it sang in Lucius' ear. His eyes went wide, and he scrambled after Blackbeard, already following after Stede.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, absolutely. Of course, one hundred percent!"

"I HAVE SO much to tell you!" Bash exclaimed, finding Nikita at the edge of the boat, staring out at sea. "So, we went with Jim to an orphanage that turns out they grew up at. We met their nana, and she agreed if we helped fix her wall, we could exchange it for oranges and... what's wrong?"

⠀⠀⠀A tear slipped from Nikita's eye. Her hands gripped the rail until her knuckles turned white and her lips thinned together into a line. Her eyes flickered over to him, then back to the sea. Despite knowing, she couldn't find the words to say it.

⠀⠀⠀"Did something happen? I heard Captain found a petrified orange, and you ate a snake," Bash said, trying to link what might have made her upset.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, something happened," Nikita said, her words shaking.

⠀⠀⠀She had felt like this only once. So weak and vulnerable in front of another person. It made her muscles freeze like the second the truth left her, Bash would hate her, want to see her dead. That wasn't him, though. At least... she hoped it wasn't.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you want to tell me?" Bash asked, hesitant.

⠀⠀⠀"No," Nikita admitted. She turned to look him in the eye, brown orbs so full of warmth and love... how could she destroy that? "But I need to."

⠀⠀⠀"Alright."

⠀⠀⠀"I don't love you," Nikita sighed.

⠀⠀⠀"Woah!" Bash suddenly exclaimed, raising his hands and taking two steps away from her. His hands were shaking, and he looked around nervously to see if anyone had heard her. "Did we say I love you or somethin', and I missed it because if I did, I'm so sorry I didn't mean it! I mean, you're wonderful and all, and I like you a lot, but—"

⠀⠀⠀"Bash."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah?"

⠀⠀⠀"Shut up."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, alright."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita let out a sigh, running her hand through her hair. She'd let it down earlier, hoping the release of tension would help clear her headache. It had yet to go away.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't love you. I like you..." Nikita continued, eyes shifting back to the sea, to the moon's reflection shifting and waning with each push and pull of the water. "I like your company, I like when we talk, but I don't like..."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh," Bash muttered, bowing his head. "You don't?"

⠀⠀⠀"No, it feels... off," Nikita said, still unclear what she was feeling. All she knew was this had to be the end of it.

⠀⠀⠀"Is there... a reason? Is it me?" he asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Yes... and no," Nikita admitted, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes. " I don't know. I don't know... I don't think I'm ready for something like this."

⠀⠀⠀"I don't make you happy," Bash said, not accusing but telling her.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita hated that he was trying to help her make sense of herself. She wanted him to hate her if she was honest because that would make sense.

⠀⠀⠀"No," she agreed.

⠀⠀⠀"Then, yeah, we shouldn't—" Bash agreed, cutting him off without the right words to say. He nodded his head and turned to look at the ocean as well. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realized."

⠀⠀⠀"You were a little busy," Nikita said, a lift to her lips, assuring him it was okay.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah," Bash nodded, rolling his eyes.

⠀⠀⠀They didn't say anything else, just stared at the ocean. Nikita's only friend, the ocean, her only constant until the end.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Hee hee, apologies for the late update. Sometimes, the hardest part of writing is getting the motivation to edit. But I enjoy this episode and am currently editing the next episode. It's so long!!! 

SONG: Animal by Sir Chloe

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.