Angst is crawling up his back when the fear is feeling the strongest. His mind is thundering recklessly in his skull, and it is affecting the way he is supposed to do as told. Yeosang stands by the door out from the chamber he stays in, and he considers thoroughly if he should let himself out to walk to the feast hall, where Seonghwa has told him that he must eat his breakfast. This night's vision has been bewildering and now his drowsy eyes stare down at the door handle, locked in place. But to his rather disputement state of mind, the door neither opens nor makes him look away and no solution to his perturbation is drawn. The young man sighs and finally lets his eyes steer away to look down at his one hand that trails down the foreign weight hanging by his side. The cool steel of the sword's pommel is rough with its noble ornaments, and Yeosang lines his hand further down to the grip and he gently wraps his finger around it. The blue stone pokes lightly at his palm. He thinks about what happened the day before in the feast hall - how close he was to being pierced with a Knights Templar's sword.

A shudder runs down his spine and Yeosang wonders if the lash out will happen again, as Seonghwa had told him that those things were nothing but a part of their everyday life. But he had to do it.

Finally clarified, Yeosang loosens the grip around his sword and stomps his leather boots closer to the door while he gestures to open it, but before he has it open, a knock is appended upon the wood that swings open.

The black-haired Knights Templar seems reassured when his eyes catch the sight of a surprised younger boy.

"There you are! Please follow me down to your awaiting breakfast, we have a rather angustus schedule today," Seonghwa exclaims, not questioning Yeosang why he would be up this late. The boy is grateful for that matter and steps out of the chamber and hurries after the taller man.

The corridors are slick today, Yeosang feels as if the walls drip with unknown liquids that forecast what he will have to go through this day. He does not know what it could be, but deeper down, the sword may have an answer for him.

Seonghwa opens the wooden door when they reach the feast hall and to Yeosang's great relief, is the amount of knights, fairly half of those who sat there the day before. They settle down by the table in the middle, and Yeosang immediately notices the blonde knight, who already sits by the furniture all alone. He seems to enjoy his food too much to notice his new companions.

"Good morrow, San," Seonghwa says while he finds a place just opposite where the greeted knight sits.

San glances up and swallows his food before he smiles a toothy smile, "Morrow commander Park! Oh! I see you have the novice with you as well."

The boy examines the blonde knight through considering eyes when he views him with a kind expression. He resembles nothing like the other knights, even though it is clear how he is wearing the knight's attire. But the sight of this man's very boyish dimpled smile under all of his fluffy curly looking blonde locks of hair has Yeosang not believing any truths. San is definitely glamorous and an appealing eye captivator.

"I like your smile," insensible the words slip from Yeosang's mouth before he can cease them from doing so, but he has already slipped into the world of imaginations.

The boy is first brought back when San laughs awkwardly and thanks him for the compliment with a visible red tint coating his cheeks. Seonghwa is glaring down at him and he suddenly realizes what he did wrong by saying those words. Men shall not like men.

"Meet me in the Healer's quarters when you have eaten. You will be inspected for any remaining aches. San, please do me the favor and follow the peccator, your wound needs to be viewed, too."

Yeosang does not have to turn around to know that Seonghwa is the one pacing across the stone floor and shutting the grand wooden door after him when he leaves the building. The room trembles subsequently minutes after and fill the air with heavy failure.

"I'm impressed with your prowess to anger Commander Park, can I know the secret behind it!?"

It is him a riddle for how lightly San reacts to his trespassing of the vassal and Yeosang befuddles inside the thoughts of what the commander could do to him without having anyone questioning his deed. When the boy's eyes land on San's blue orbs, he can feel water soaking his feet. They outs to his hands, pulling him closer until his breath touches a golden skin and he sees Wooyoung's beautiful brown eyes instead.

"Yeosang? Are you alright?"

But he is not the one he ought to feel beneath the touch of his palms and Yeosang moves his gaze shamefully in another way, feeling a heat brush on his cheeks. How he just wished to be back in the comfort of the younger. Though the blonde knight speaks to him, he does not turn his head at him, frightened of finding anything he doesn't want to see. His stomach aches in bruises.

"Take some food, you will need it today. After this, we will find the Healers' quarters."

_____

The life of a Knights Templar is not a thing Yeosang has ever heard about, howbeit the stories that tend to wander through the routes of travelers. He imagines the life as broad and fearless, marvelous and regal, strong and invincible, but mostly; lonely. Serving God should keep him from any companion, granting his life to the hands of the Lord who would protect him to the end of his recorded days, just as he would fight in the name of God. A blessing should follow his innocence wherever he goes, and the blessing should be proved by his faithful sinless living.

Those words echo inside his head when they walk down the long corridors of the healers' quarters. Yeosang's eyes drift through the squared windows on their left side and he observes the red leaves of the Japanese Maple tree. San is walking beside him, smiling goofily at the women they pass as he now and then sends them flirtatious winks. Yeosang tries to hold his gaze at the tree outdoor when a group of three young women proceeds past them, giggling as the charismatic character of Choi San greets them gallantly.

"Let blessings be with you ma' ladies."

The knight's voice rolls smoothly across his tongue and Yeosang should face shame for how he blushes at the manly tint that flows with the expression. Shyly, the healers wave at him before continuing down the corridors. Yeosang can feel a set of their eyes at him, but he does not look at her. For a moment the boy loses the ends of his retaining threads on himself, and he glances up at San, who wears a broadened smile caused by his wished reactions. His blonde hair lightens like a halo in the early forenoon sunlight and covers his swimming blue eyes. This knight is charming.

Even before he perceives it, the pair is entering an unknown chamber, coated in royal blue's and Yeosang startles his sight to the door that San opens hurriedly. The broad back of the vassal is nothing that surprises Yeosang, but what he braces in his arms is something that startles him and puts his nearly haunting beliefs of a Knights Templar in a different kind of light. The boy is unable to form a sole word when his eyes detect the woman who clutches her arms tenderly around the vassal as he kisses her softly.

San wolf-whistles and leans back against tall wooden furniture that stands behind him as he crosses his arms with a smirk: "May I have a better view, sister, Commander Park."

From the disruptive remark, they pull away from each other and Seonghwa's sight moves censuring down at Yeosang for more than a couple of seconds before proceeding to look at San. His hands are kept securely around the waist of the young woman who scowls at San.

"You may not, San," Emma answers with a frown that only fades when she notices Yeosang who stands by his side, "Oh, hello Yeosang."

The boy is so shocked that he cannot respond to the healer's greeting, and therefore, only stares at the situation before him. Emma smiles gently and looks at Seonghwa while she pats his hands with her own. Silently but reluctantly, the man lets go of her and she steps toward Yeosang and grabs his arm, and drags him into the room.

"Come here, let me survey your health."

But Yeosang is still feeling bewildered inside of his head after seeing a Knights Templar kissing someone. Breaking the vow of chastity. Is that even legal for someone who serves the Lord as much as a Knights Templar does?

_____

The sword is swinging at him, and his body splutters with coercion in the move of wielding his own forward to parry the opponent. His feet dance across the gravel that coats the ground in the ring and droplets of sweat are trickling down his face like fat tears. The stern steel clashes against his own, maneuvering his force in the direction of the fence and Yeosang stumbles away from the middle. This time, he is still holding his Crusader sword. The boy's knees touch the ground and he turns around, his sword pointing in front of him before his opponent will take him further down.

"Get up."

Yeosang swallows desperately as he tries to get his breathing under control again when he holds eye contact with the knight who does not seem to care about his current condition. Now, Yeosang is uncertain of who of the brothers he is dueling with. He raises his vertiginous to stand another time while he pulls his weapon threateningly at the other. Seonghwa brushes a few strands out of his eyes before he lets his gaze fall down at Yeosang again.

"Iterum, asinus!"

His harsh command has Yeosang pushing off from the ground as he pounds at his opponent with a bitter bite around his lips. How dare he, Yeosang thinks. The boy's sword touches the Commander's arm a second before his skillful arm pushes the weapon away with the sword's fuller and the boy is spinning around himself in surprise at how quick it all flows. In the motion of slipping over his own legs, his sword is beaten out of his hands, and cold steel licks across his throat before he has a chance to dodge. His sword jingles against the ground and suddenly Yeosang realizes between his gasps for air, how Seonghwa is nailing his back against his firm body. The boy can feel how the knight is resting his hands gingerly atop his stomach. Yeosang blushes.

"Anger makes courage flore in you, Yeosang," Seonghwa purrs in his ear and retrieves his sword from his throat shortly before taking a step back from the boy.

The boy's mind is left fighting needs in the middle of the ring and his eyes stare fearful out in the horizon when Seonghwa's touch of fingers does not leave his prickling skin underneath his light brown shirt. Yeosang can feel the pressure around his heart. Attentively, he turns around to view the knight who leans smirtling at the fence. The act had been intentional, and now Yeosang cannot think of anything else than the burning feeling he gets when Wooyoung's warm hands caress his cheeks.

Seonghwa steps forward while he crouches down and pulls the fallen sword from the ground. When he comes closer, Yeosang notices that not even a single dirt grain has touched the knight's clothes.

The knight extends the sword to Yeosang, "Have no one ever taught you how to use a sword?"

Cautiously, the boy reaches out for the steel while his eyes falter downward at the blue stone engraved in the elegant weapon. His attires are stained in mud and sand grains from his impact with the ground and sweat sticks to his armpits and forehead. He feels exhausted.

"Not really, my father never... spent the required energy on that," Yeosang replies and slowly drags his sword into the sheath he has fastened to his belt.

He raises his head and sees Seonghwa's prominent raised eyebrows, "What has then been your pointed pursuit, if not a man's sword?" the knight asks him when they leave the ring.

"Theology," Yeosang nods, "My father wanted me to study that."

When Seonghwa looks at him, his smile is held skew.

"Vaguely hypocritical, if I may convey myself, peccator."

Yeosang knows, and he is far from gratified by the matter. When a sigh escapes his lips the whole reality seems to darken and he wishes no more than to flee this world. Ignorant, the boy does not see that the knight beside him reads his bearing perfectly, aware of more that happens inside of the boy's head than anyone else around those lands does.

"Worry too much and you will forget the pursuit of life, worry too little and you will end up never reaching that pursuit. Try breathing and clean up your untidiness before your creed has to be done."

The knight leaves him after his last command is given, and Yeosang heavily moves to his chamber where he washes the dirt off himself until he is clean and proceeds to the church in a way that should not feel more familiar than what it does.

⚔︎