Yeosang's hands are clamping around his dirtied garments while he breathes the cool air through his teeth. Not a single streak of light comes into the room, but he feels the heavy raindrops hit him time after time as they drown his insides. Light has raised and fallen more than four times above his head, but no one has come to eye him, leaving his hunger to grow like stones, gnawing on the insides of his stomach. The pain has finally dulled, but Yeosang is still starving and every time he licks his lips, they're wet and cold. As the boy curls further in, he feels small and pathetic and he wishes for someone to end his sufferings.

The boy breathes heavily as if he can't swallow air, but those eyes of his have been dry for hours now. He wants to think again, but the risks he will cross may hurt him more than what his intentions are. He needs a heating comfort, his heart wants his guidance back before it drowns in despair and darkness.

It is the middle of the night and Yeosang can only see nothing. His fingers hurt from holding too tightly around his clothes. His eyes fall wide open when he suddenly starts hearing things he didn't do all the other lonely nights. It sounds like someone is screaming, a pitch that almost forces his hands up to cover his ears dauntingly. In a matter of seconds, he startles from the tiniest squeaking sounds the building resonates in the wild weather outside. Yeosang whimpers unconsciously and tries to lift his body up from the cold ground he is curled up against, but he has lost all powers. Rumbles echo through the rain and a howl shoot penetrates his ice-cold bones, pulling every nerve to pulse anxiously in his body. The cobblestones outdoors are trampled by several harsh movements of hooves, and Yeosang is holding in his breath when he cannot stop thinking about whose scream must have erupted earlier.

His heart paces around aggressively in his chest when everything dawns into the rain like it hadn't even happened. His mind feels far from the present, but his senses are well aware of everything. That is until the door is kicked open, leaving the chaos to hit Yeosang like the danger it has been from the start. The boy retches on the air that he suddenly breathes in when light from a lit torch burns in front of him, revealing the strangers that are closing in on him. They seem determined on their goal.

Yeosang has no time to prepare himself for what is going to happen before a set of strong arms pulls him up from the ground and lifts him like one of those many weapons hanging from the stranger's belt that is reflected by the light from the dancing flames in another man's hand. Pushed through the door opening, he is tossed to the muddy ground at the feet of a person that only scowls down at him. The dirty water splashes up at his dainty form and his fingers are buried in the wet masses. Yeosang does not even have to raise his head to know who those pairs of eyes looking at him belong to.

"Is it him, sir?" a voice pierces through the falling water that comes from the sky.

The boy stares down into the puddles that soak his clothes even more without moving. His mind is running for his life while possibilities of who those people are are running through him as thoughts.

Then he hears the sneering sound of his father's voice and he is not any calmer, "Unfortunately, yes. Take him, I don't want to see him before he's sane again. Do exactly as we have agreed to and I will pay you whatever you want, please! Let Him be with you."

Mumbles drown in the rain and rough hands are dragging him from the ground again before his head starts to spin from exhaustion. Slowly everything starts to fade from his awakened senses and Yeosang is reminded of how cruel life can be when he doesn't have the slightest chance to understand what is happening before he passes out.

_____

The fever that presses his body to pain has never felt this intense before, and Yeosang sniffles from the impact the tears that slide down his cheeks make on him. It hurts when everything settles into his stirring body, but he pushes through the stinging when he hears a snort somewhere close to him and he opens his eyes. His eyelids feel swollen and the light hitting his sight definitely doesn't make the task any easier. Wooden planks stretch from the floor and envelope his being inside a small room. Yeosang's eyes slowly adjust to the modest lightning that grows from a lantern that stands on a little crooked table where a shadow takes a step forward and conceals the only source that makes the boy significantly calmer.

"Pathetic."

The voice slits through the air in a steel-cold clean cut that leaves Yeosang's body to freeze from the remark that is coerced on him. The pain he feels is pushed away, but he is unable to clear the fresh stains of tears before an intimidating man is glunching down at him. He watches how the man shifts between tensing and relaxing his jaws as if the sight of Yeosang irks him in displeasion, but then he moves upwards and meets the brown irises ridicule him to the point that Yeosang feels mocked.

"Oh, you are awake, did you rest well?" the voice continues as the words snake around the man's mouth with pure sarcasm.

The man leans back again and fetches an item that lays beside the lantern on the table behind him. Yeosang turns his head in the direction before he has no time to prepare himself for what is thrown at him. The hard thing hits him in his face, before landing deep down in the soft covers when it doesn't move anymore.

"Now, wear this and people perhaps will consider you as someone worthy of speaking."

Yeosang stares at the unknown man, as he doesn't understand what he tells him. For a moment he thinks its the pain that his head still resounds with that inferiors his comprehension of the situation, but then in the next second he sees the sharp side of a drawn sword out of the corner of his eye and he startles further back in the bed, hands grasping the item that has been tossed at him.

"Be quick!"

The boy's eyes are fastened at the shaft of the weapon that the man has a hand wrapped around and slowly pulls further and further up for every more second that pass and he still hasn't brought the item up to his eyes. He swallows and takes the chance to tear his eyes away from the protean man. It feels smooth and cold in the hand of his, and when he lifts it into the sporadic streaks of light, he sees the blue stone that entwines the two pieces together. His father always wears those symbols and his mother is almost even worse to do so. They decorate the home from every corner and crook, but still, Yeosang has never cared about it, thinking it was a bit too over-praised for its mighty power.

It is a cross.

And this man, who is down-staring him with his sword hanging by his side, only being less than a half-second from being pulled, is telling him to wear it as if it literally depended on his life. This is where Yeosang does only understand less of what is happening. The boy pulls the strings attached to the jewel over his head and lets go of it again when the item hangs him around his neck. He inhales slow and shakily when he finally sees how the man's hand retreats from the weapon again.

"Good, now follow me."

Yeosang bites his lip when the man turns around and he has to scoot out of the comfortable bed. His cheeks are warm and he definitely does not feel good. But after all, he prefers that instead of having something sharp pierced through his body. Weakly, he lifts himself up and moves his legs over the edge until his feet touch the cold stone floor. The clothes he wears are not his own. Astound suddenly swells in him and he stops his movement for seconds to glance down at the rough flaxen garms that rub against his warm skin. Somehow those inexpensive clothes that he never has been allowed to wear make him feel bare and poor, and he feels ashamed for having nothing else to wear. Not even his feet will be covered in anything.

The boy raises himself to his legs and steps after the man, having no other choice. Decreasingly, the light disappears behind them just as a new one rises. Yeosang's eyes are flaring around as he views the foreign place that he stays at. A bad feeling grows in his stomach for every new step he takes, and for shifting his attention to something else, his sight lands on the man in front of him. Silently, he studies his features from behind; the tallness, raven black hair, the broad shoulders but lean waist, and subtle movements when he walks. He is nothing like Wooyoung, but his marked features are enough for one to admire from behind. Yeosang thinks he wears some kind of special attire, as the smooth black leather molds around his body perfectly when he moves. His gaze rests on the sword's sheath.

The noise of an opening door forces Yeosang to look up from his inspections of the stranger and light apertures him for the following time they walk right out into a huge looking feast hall. Long wide wooden tables fill the room from one end to the other, situated with benches on both sides of each table. But it is empty, no one sits there and the man that leads him the way does not give Yeosang any sign for them to sit down. He closes the door they came from and continues out the only door at their left hand. The boy hears voices and his own hand falls to flatten the fabric around his arms and waist just before he steps outdoors into a courtyard filled with cobblestones much like his father's, but then his eyes land on the arena situated in the middle, grass covering the area around the ring. It is from there, the cheerings come. Without noticing, Yeosang's steps gradually stop as he peeks his head curiously in the direction of the men that site around the arena. He cannot see what is happening on the other side for all the surrounding people, and he tries to stand on his toes for a better view, not realizing the tall man that is leading him also has stopped and now silently draws in on him.

He roughly yanks at Yeosang and he almost tumbles to the ground for the out-thrown balance, "Stop looking and do as I say!"

Yeosang is shocked by the sudden surprise the man gave him and hurries after him even if the ground scrapes his feet in an uncomfortable manner. They leave the courtyard faster than the boy wishes for, but his fear for the man in front of him makes him not dare to turn his head and look for the group of men again. After following a used path Yeosang finds himself staring up at a huge magnificent sacred construction, its many spears reaching the sky higher than Yeosang ever has seen before. The monument's building techniques and structure of material tell the boy this must be the most important building around those lands, and it is. Latin words welcome him, written above the entrance and he reads them easily as he has been taught.

Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed Nomini tuo da gloriam

He stops breathing when the sudden realization hits him hard, and he now understands the essence of this place. His hands clamp around his shirt and he can already feel the shivers running down his spine even before he steps inside. Those attires and the sword this man in front of him wears, do all make sense now. Yeosang swallows and tries to raise his head from falling downwards to the floor, but the cross hanging around his neck is heavy. A blow of wind pushes him inside and the tall man stops and turns around to stare down at Yeosang with his sharp brown eyes. He sees the red cross across the chest of his attire, the symbol of a Knights Templar. Yeosang has only heard stories of those warriors fighting in the name of the Lord but never met one eye to eye. And now, he cannot take his wide orbs off the knight again.

"Now, you follow the path to the other end of the church and speak gently with pastor Doyun," the knight tells him very directly, and Yeosang startles back before immediately turning his body in the direction of the many windows lighting up the far end of the huge building.

Passing pillar after pillar, Yeosang nears the priest who stands on the other side of the altar, back facing everything but the light surpassing the giant window. But when he is close, the priest turns around and faces him with kindness and a touch of pity. He is an elder man, Yeosang sees from the grey crown of hair, but his eyes are still full of life. The boy bows his head and looks down at his bare, dirty feet while the bad feeling only grows inside of him.

"Dear child, don't feel embarrassed," the priest says feeble and Yeosang hears the steps around the altar until he stands in front of Yeosang, "Raise your head so I can see your face."

He gulps and thinks of all the other times he has been in church, how cruel it always was, humiliating. He has never liked the feeling of how much power the church ruled above the lands. And now, a priest wants to look him in the eyes. Yeosang raises his head and stares into a pair of grey ones.

"You have sinned," the priest informs him as if he can see into his soul.

Yeosang wants to flee from the grasp those people already have around him, but his secret is already shattered and it would not matter anything. The next thing he hears, sends him staggered and he doesn't believe it.

"But our Lord will forgive you, he always will," the priest takes the cross hanging around Yeosang's neck into his hand and brings it up between them, "He lives in you, he is by your side and he believes in you, if you believe in him, always."

Pastor Doyun gently smiles at Yeosang while he takes his hand and leads the cross into it as he keeps his hand around both a bit more. The light pressure makes his hand tremble and he doesn't like what is happening.

"How are you so sure, pastor?" his words stick by his tongue while he brings them out, but the elder man only keeps smiling.

"If you believe in the good, the world is more forgiving than what you may deem."

Yeosang wants to remove his hand from the cross that pastor Doyun has him holding around, but he doesn't know how to, "No, why do you ween I have sinned?"

A furrow suddenly forms in the priest's face when the matter is understood differently, but his kind features quickly fall into place again.

He laughs lightly, "Young man, you have been corrupted by the depraved minds of others. You need rest to understand what I am saying but before I let you go, I need you to creed. Repeat after me;

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. [...] "

The words resonate against the walls, sounding hollow and stiff when Yeosang silently voices the repetition of the phrase without any meaning to his heart. Pastor Doyun lets go of his hand again and the cross falls down against his body. He smiles kindly and follows him out of the sacred place to where the knight from before awaits him. The facade crumbles when he looks at the priest and bows his head with a smile that has Yeosang stop breathing the air.

"Greetings, Pastor Doyun."

"Greetings Xalvador, will you bring the young man back to his chamber and make sure that he has everything he will need for the coming time."

The knight nods his head and answers with a clear 'yes'.

"Thank you, may God be with you."

⚔︎