Like the previous days when he has seated by the dining table, his stomach seethes with the food he has ingested. It cramps around as the turns get more and more violent, and the boy suddenly hits his head down onto the edge of the wooden table, groaning subtly. He can feel the odd glances he is given from all the other knights around him, but the discomfort is enough to have him forget their presence again.

The blonde knight seems worried as he speaks, "Yeosang, are you sick?" The boy imagines how the blue eyes must search him for any answer while he bends to find any relief, "I do not know," he says.

He can feel the food trailing upward again.

"Shall I find my sister? It could be she knows of some herbs that will relieve your pain a little," San continues, and Yeosang feels how he has placed a hand on his shoulder despite how he barely hears what comes out of his mouth. He gags.

Scrambling up on his feet, he tears himself away from San as he hurries through the feast hall with a hand clamped around his mouth. Behind him, San is yelling his name but it does not make him stop: he pushes through the small door on the different side of the courtyard and starts running out on the grass there slowly grows taller into a decayed meadow the further he comes.

He falls down to the ground, his knees digging down into the hard soil as he throws his head over and purges all over the grass. And the action repeats itself until he has emptied himself completely. Yeosang moves himself to the side, his hands rest on the ground as his shaking limbs are the only thing keeping him from crashing down. Strings of ingestions and blood run from his mouth, and the revulsing taste that lingers in his mouth makes him wish that he had not eaten anything even if anyone would have been to notice it. Yeosang hopes that San has not followed him.

His face distorts when another wave washes over him, his stomach curling together and he lets the food his body cannot tolerate anymore, out of his system. The boy heaves in relief and pulls himself back to sit as he dries the substance away from his lips with the back of his hand. He swallows mostly blood now.

It hurts to know that he has changed so much.

The cool wind hauls around his form, dragging sharp nails across his bare arms there should have stung, but it does not. The end of summer has passed and fall's chilly weather is turning the landscapes into colorful palettes of a last glance before death. Despite the boy's light layers of clothes, the coldness barely bothers him anymore, and Jongho has told him why; he is also dead. Slowly, Yeosang flutters his eyes closed while he smells the last withering blossoms that the wind carries with it. And there, his exhausted body sinks further down until the back of his head lands in the straws of grass, letting his thoughts fill his head.

Ever since the first meeting with the commanders, Jongho has been going in and out of the building over those passing days, having Yeosang training all by himself. Although San has been with him for most of the time, the archer has become no difficult opponent to him - resulting in Yeosang winning the sparring easily. San had surely believed that it only was out of pure luck - he had told him that - but as he lost another round, Yeosang had seen the wariness in San's eyes every time he had been defeated. The gaze had turned into incredulity every time he had believed Yeosang was not looking at him. His ways of fighting have unconsciously changed, and Yeosang knows that San's trained archer eye could not possibly have avoided seeing it too. The strikes he takes are stronger, the resistance that runs up through his arms when his sword collides with his opponent's, barely makes his body move out of his own will. Moving seems flawless when he averts sharp weapons, and it happens fast like running fire, a new wield sets his opponent in a parry with only struggles against his strength. Yeosang's endurance is heightened to an aim where nothing seems humane anymore - where the persistent knight had been worn out of breath, Yeosang had stood ready for another sparring round. Yeosang thinks it must have been at those moments his portrait had been transparent - more this than his new strength.

The young man's eyes fall open to stare up into the whirling sheen of clouds crossing the night sky and twinkling stars. The world looks so broad above him, far from like the world he lays in down on the ground, and he wonders if Jongho's words have been true. Was his life really destined to go like this, or had fate made him the wrong decision that caused him to be captured in a place he did not deserve? Yeosang's life has been nothing but a bad dream of suppressing terrors, where only a few people have been able to show him the real world's wonders, and he just now realizes the truth about it. He ponders if reality always will stay this upright, and the different world he goes to when feeling safe and secure never will be anything else than a place in his mind. Although Jongho will stand by his side for the nearest passing time, Yeosang knows that everything will come to an end at some point. He has learned that much.

And he must enjoy it as long as he can do so because joy is rare in a world like this.

Steadily he raises himself up from the ground. His head feels the slightest dizzy, but he pushes through it as he comes to stand on his feet again. Twirling around he sees the fortress lying in mostly darkness, not many candles nor torches lit this late and the boy guesses that he has been out here for hours, but he is not sure. He gathers his trailing thoughts before he wanders towards the ascending building.

Yeosang peers around his shoulders as he decides it may be better to walk to his own chamber tonight, even if he mostly wishes to go to a certain other's chamber. He pushes the heavy handle down with a hand and steps into the empty feast hall as silently as he can. His dark, glinting eyes roam over his surroundings and he continues to the wooden door that opens to the corridors with knights' chambers. Here, a few torches flare alight as they cast shadows of their dances along the walls. Yeosang gulps at the sight he never has liked and closes the door behind him before he carefully walks further down. His footsteps echo behind him like a second pair of feet.

But there is no one but himself wandering the corridors in the middle of the night, and Yeosang pulls himself together while he passes closed doors. He is sure that the faint sounds he hears are his mind pulling tricks on him from the shadow plays, and yet, his legs still hesitate. When his footsteps stall, the nerves writhe under his skin like they try to reach a state of apprehension that will have his head understand.

In the timid light, his eyes catch the sight of a door being the slightest ajar, and the sounds he has heard come from there. He is sure when he tiptoes closer. He feels far from living when his hearing picks up on the blend of soft voices and harsh breathing, not when he cannot feel his own heartbeat quickening of the tensity that flees the supposedly closed chamber. From here, secrets spill from hands and Yeosang is the one to reach for it on the ground.

His eyes widen when he sights the flickering candles inside a knight's room, casting its gloom over the back of two bodies. He shifts slightly closer, his fingers digging into the edge of the wall as he bends his head to see more.

"... -surely that is."

Muscular, broad shoulders, running down into a lean waist, cages someone underneath that he kisses when the voice speaks up, "Mhmm, right there, so good."

The sheets are rolling down naked legs, leaving the cool air to pinch their sweaty skin, and from the sounds he hears, he believes that the second figure only can be of a male. Two men are having an affair on God's blessed lands.

"Shall we..ah, let the questions be, hmm?"

"No.. no, you know how I am with this. I cannot- hmgf, have you killed by those bloody creatures. You- you saw them too; I was barely able to defend myself."

The knight on top moves his head down to the other's shoulder blade as he keeps on thrusting into the other, "Hongjoong..." he mumbles lowly.

The man underneath has black hair in the dark, and Yeosang can only rather neatly see his features from how he arches his back, "Dear mercy, please keep on doing that, so good, so-so good.."

"Ugh, you scis that I love you, but it is of my officium to wage war. Do you not believe that I am timeo to lose you as well? Mmmh, my most precious one.."

"Seonghwa, mmhh, Seonghwa yes, I trust you with my life... Only you.. always you."

Despite his longing teeth, the boy stumbles back from the opening of the door, the image still playing in his eyes while the voices blend with his head as background noises. He forgets about being quiet, his boots ramming down onto the stone floor as he flees the corridors, unbelieving of what he just has witnessed.

Yeosang finds the stairwell and flies upward, throwing himself along the stone floor until his legs lead him to the most familiar chamber. His eyes are wide when he swings the wooden door open without bothering to give it a knock, and he steps in and secures it after him. The boy swallows tightly, looking through the darkness over at the bed. And he finds it unempty, so he goes forward.

His mind flickers at the touch of what he has seen, and it makes him pore on it so much that his head hurts. The boy tosses himself down to the bed where his hands feel the way up the resting body until they hold around the knight's shoulders. A palm proceeds to the neck.

"Jongho..!" he whispers with a thick tensity clinging to his voice. It feels sticky in his mouth.

Almost immediately, the other stirs awake, eyes slowly rolling open to meet darkness and a beautiful boy sitting beside him. But Yeosang carries a nervous face - one that the boy clearly sees how Jongho notices.

The tip of his tongue twists around inside his mouth.

"Yeosang..? Why are you not sleeping," the knight asks and he feels the breath of nerves passing throughout his body while the other slides into sitting up against the headboard. The movement has Yeosang draw his arms away from Jongho and he pulls himself to sit on the bed's edge as he stalls in his sentence, "I..."

And the boy's gaze falls down as he has to think of why he is not sleeping for another time. In the looming darkness, the boy feels how Jongho eyes the way he finds it troublesome speaking, and a calming hand carefully seeks the hold of his. Yeosang lifts his chin to find the knight's concerned expression again, and he carefully parts his lips in an attempt to tell him the sight.

"I believe I saw Seonghwa in one of the chambers just before."

Jongho's eyebrows gather perplexed when he tells him, and Yeosang is leaning closer, "No, I am sure I saw Seonghwa in one of the other knights' chambers - he was having an affair with another knight! I tell you I saw that."

Yeosang's grass-stained knees are suddenly moved and press down into the surface on each side of the knight, straddling him while his hands around Jongho's shoulders pull them neigh. An invisible breath is caught between them.

But Jongho seems to not apprehend what words flow the air as he peers at him with a startle, "What are you saying..?" he murmurs slowly. Yeosang's eyes have widened, and the tip of his nose brushes the other's dearly gentle.

"He- he was kissing another man, having a coitus," Yeosang forces out, and Jongho tightens his hands around his waist to keep him from falling so much closer, "Do you believe that I have gotten mad for seeing this? Because I sure do."

Yeosang's words are desperately going deeper while his highly-strung smell whirls around him, stretching out in the room. He sees the way Jongho comprehends every little sense around them until he shifts his awareness back to his puncturing eyes.

"I believe you," he tells him. Yeosang does not move when Jongho's hand caresses his back, "I trust the words you tell me."

The knight closes the short distance between them as his lips leniently touch upon his and moves away again - the man holds his head between his hands now. It makes him want to sigh as if Jongho's kisses cure any possible distress. Jongho makes him want to believe that.

Their eyes fuse, "But you cannot tell anyone about this; it must be of your secret to know." His thumbs trace Yeosang's cheekbones with so much tenderness as if he was touching something more worth than any treasure of gold and silver. And he feels divine.

"How.. can he do this? To us- to anyone!?" whispers the boy between clenched teeth and he can feel the threatening tears well in his eyes out of rage, grief, and pain. Yeosang shakes his head in opposition, "This is so morally wrong! What about Emma; why would he do this to her?"

Yeosang stares into the darkness as images of the sorrow rolling down her rosy cheeks appear in his eyes. The way her world would crumble underneath her feet as no comfort from her caring brother would ever heal any wound in her heart. She loves him, and Yeosang thinks it is foul of the vassal to be with another while knowing this.

"I know, I know Yeosang.." the other dries one of his dripping tears away and pulls his head down to lay against his chest, "Come, rest for the night. You need your strength back for tomorrow, my knight."

The boy inhales deeply as his hands trail down to pull his boots off with an awkward struggle, but Jongho waits for him with patience to crawl underneath the same covers as he. There, Yeosang rests his head close in Jongho's arms where safety can only be found. And the smell of warmth and love and sweetness all caress every part of his body. But he is still hungry - and it is only a question of time when the piercing monster will break loose.

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