His hands are shaking when they pull away from the knight and he stumbles back in the bed, staring wide-eyed down at Jongho's face which is contorted in so much visible pain.

"I-I-" he stutters terrified while he seems to retrieve his sight back to how it usually is, "What happened.. I do not understand.. Jongho?"

Yeosang glances down at his hand after having placed it down into the bed when he finds an item poking into his palm. Red color is smeared all over the sheets and under his hand, he finds the remnants of his cross, string snapped over to leave the necklace unwearable. He tears his eyes away from the appalling sight and gently leans closer to Jongho with unmistakable blameworthiness writhing in the back of his throat that still tastes of the sweet savory blood.

With slow, blinking eyes, the boy forces himself to glance down at the bloody bite mark he has left on the other's skin - and the sight has him swallowing tight while wandering away to look at the man's face instead. His hands outreach and cup his tear-filled cheeks. Jongho is pulling on air unevenly as his teeth are clenched in agony. Yeosang fears what the eyes will tell him when they finally flicker to look up at him.

"You-your eyes- they are blood-red."

He freezes - no, everything stands still around him.

He whispers: "No, that is not true," but he is aware of the reasoning Jongho's words carry. The knight does not lie.

More tears run in perfect lines down his face and Yeosang's heart bleeds by the sight while he wishes for things he wants to undo. The man winches and lets his teeth sink down into his bottom lip, suppressing a sob from escaping his mouth. "I am so sorry.." Jongho whimpers.

He does not even notice when he cries himself, only the faint feeling of his tears graces his skin where every other sense of him is drawn on the hurt knight, "No, you shall not feel sorry- this can only be my fault," Yeosang insists. Not only his hands tremble now.

This kiss that lands on Jongho's forehead is heart-wrenching and filled with all the care he musters at that moment. He pours his soul into the littlest touches they share, even though he is scared to make the same mistake again.

Yeosang moves his head down to let his lips gently touch upon Jongho's closed eyelid. He kisses the other as well.

"You do not deserve this fate.." the man sniffles and opens his eyes, when Yeosang raises his head, "How can the world be this cruel to you? So unfair.." Yeosang blinks between the blue hue of his one eye to the deep brown one with lips slightly parted as he observes the knight's expressions. This strong soul is flaring in flames, and the boy furrows his eyebrows as he does not understand. Jongho can not possibly have reached a breaking point, he deems, but when he considers the way the tears there still trickle down from his glistening eyes as he can do nothing about it, he feels so unsure about his otherwise strong beliefs.

He sees Jongho draw in an unsteady breath as he clenches his eyes close from the new strong wave of aching that goes through his tense body. The knight lets out a strangled cry as he presses his head further down into the bed's surface, making Yeosang start panicking. Soon Jongho's hands fly up to the wound to press down onto its surface to relieve some of the tension.

"Please, do- do not say that," Yeosang bites his lip as he caresses Jongho's cheeks carefully with one of his hands trapped under the knight's head.

"Yeosang, they will find out about this."

The boy closes his own eyes at the sound of the knight's words. He knows that he is right, but protecting himself from the truthness in his words seems way easier in this stressful situation. Jongho's body feels so much warmer against his cold skin.

A rumble of a growl tears through the chamber, and Yeosang tightens his hands around the other's face.

"Do you not understand!? We are deemed to die here!"

He winches, "Stop."

But Jongho's breathing has already burst through the waters, giving him a reason to listen. He leans close again, the tip of their noses brushes each other, "I know, I am sorry Jongho."

His heart shatters of the desperation he sees in the man's eyes, and one of Yeosang's tears drips down on his face to flow down along with his.

"Life is not a place for a fragile soul. It may seem like a gift to breathe alive, but in the end, we barely reach a feeling of peace before we die again," Jongho says in a whisper, "You saw how they killed him, you saw how Park Seonghwa killed the man who was bitten, mercilessly - and they will do the same to you; to me. It is that fate I am speaking of: one you will never come around, because they will know when you get hungry; when you lose control, and all your senses can only think of one thing: blood."

"How can you be so sure of that?" Yeosang whispers.

"Because I come from a village where everyone was hunted out of their own lives - brutally killed in the blood of their loved ones. I know how those creatures are unable to control their cravings for blood.."

He can only stare when Jongho tells him a piece of his past. The boy thinks it sounds like an unreal tale, but he knows it can only be true. His compassion goes through his chest and he bends down to lay against the knight. He follows the uneven rhythm of Jongho's breathing pattern.

"We are both bloodthirsty sinners now, who forever will be bound to this curse; that is what fate wants us to be. Perhaps the church may be right anyway - of how sinners shall be chastised with the penalty of death."

That may be right. Not every tale of love turns out to be with a happy ending.

_____

When day breaks through, Jongho has passed out with a dire fever. With the amount of water he has found in a wooden bowl standing on the furniture in the chamber, Yeosang tries to clean him the best he can. But the water quickly gets dirty, and therefore he knows he has to fetch a new bowl of clean water to get rid of all the stickiness clinging to the knight. Pardoning himself for pulling a warm cover over his body, he leaves the chamber, clothed in Jongho's clean attire and the wooden bowl held tightly in his embrace.

Yeosang's eyes his surroundings warily before he walks down the corridors. It seems as if it has been months since the last time he has been out on the other side of the chamber, but now that he is, he wishes that he had stayed in there. For him, the chamber feels like a safe place, unlike the rest of the fortress. Because, every single step he makes with his feet, could be the reason for someone discovering all his deepest secrets.

Flinging the wooden door open, he glances around and closes the door after him, but not many are to be seen out here. Yeosang sighs relieved and steps down the stairs into the end of the courtyard. The weather is mild as the summer is slowly coming to an end. He follows the stone path until he reaches bare soil, and there he empties the remaining water from the bowl before he trails back to the closed wooden gate door, that will lead him to the side where the huge red maple tree stands. He passes a flock of knights who challenge each other in the ring but far from the normal number of spectators stands around it.

When he reaches out to pull the handle of the gate door, he can feel the firm steel in his palm, and he wonders why everything around him occurs so differently. Like the world has changed.

The boy angles his head up towards the mighty tree as he admires its beautiful red color until his mind has a play of dripping blood twisted into his head; he sees how the gore creeps down from the branches and lands on the ground, red color goes everywhere he looks and something starts poking him inside his mouth. Yeosang swallows tightly as he quickly leaves the place for the well which situates on the other side of the maple tree. He smells the water as he nears the well, standing in front of the stones that make a deep hole into the ground. The smoke from Theodòre's smithy can also be smelled.

Reaching for the bucket he suddenly hears steps behind him and rather fast, a hand grabs him around his shoulder and turns him around. His eyes widen at the surprising act but his heart does not make any beat. For a moment he only stares at the man who has ripped him around, but Yeosang believes the other is one to be far more startled than he is himself. In the rushed movement, he drops both the bucket and the bowl to the ground, and arms pull him into an embrace he never thought would happen.

"Seonghwa..?"

The arms there wrap around his shoulders are solid and strong, but still so smooth, that even though Yeosang always has believed commanders to be so firm and butchering, he may reconsider that prejudice.

"I thought you mortui sunt," Seonghwa breathes as he cradles Yeosang's head now, "But you are here, and rather vivus."

He is brought out of any ordinary moment, while he dares not move from the spot despite how bland the vassal's embrace feels to him. But the man lets go of him before he comes to sort out the odd feeling he lifts on. Teeth pricking.

Seonghwa looks down at him, and Yeosang senses how the man still seems to not be able to comprehend the boy in front of him. How he did not die from the man-killing fever. Somehow, Yeosang sees how the corners of Seonghwa's lips pull upward into a gentle smile, and the first thing he thinks of is the verity of his cross covered in blood in the covers of Jongho's bed. Yeosang does not wear his cross.

The boy cannot smile while his mind forms what situation would happen if Seonghwa found out about the missing matter.

"Yeosang?"

Seeing how his brows gather, utterly perplexed at the lack of response, Yeosang gulps and looks down at his feet in embarrassment, "I-I am still recovering from the high fever, so please, bear with my slight absence.." he says as he fidgets with his fingers in front of him. When he looks up at the other again, he finds his nervousness ease again as he discovers a kind smile on Seonghwa's face. A hand ruffles his hair as he chuckles.

"Nolite timere," Seonghwa says, "I am glad you got better."

"Why thank you, Seonghwa.." bashfully, the boy answers, his eyes traveling to where the commander looks at, and he turns around to dutifully gather his dropped items in his hands again while he still feels Seonghwa's gaze lingering on him.

"Well, when you see Jongho again, please tell him to seek my attendance as we have things that would rather be discussed. I will leave you now, as I actually am in a hurry - but once again, I better tell you how fortis you must be to have survived a fever that strong."

Yeosang blushes, "Oh-oh, thank you, kind sir," his words only come out as a whisper, but he is certain that Seonghwa still hears them. The vassal nods approvingly at him, "Good, enjoy your day."

_____

While his hands are holding around Jongho's cold ones, his mind still has a difficult time grasping his thoughts. The knight has not been awake for three days and nights - and the missing thumping of a heart makes it clear that only one thing has happened.

Yeosang feels like a monster.

He gets up from his seating on the edge of the bed and turns his head at the woman standing further away from the bed. Her eyes are filled with so much worry and pity that he nearly can taste it on his tongue.

"I am sorry, Yeosang, but nothing can be done," Emma tells him quietly, "It is a true miracle that you are still here and alive, but I can not guarantee the same will be for Jongho. We are so different - his life has already faded from his body."

Simply, Yeosang angles his head down as he nods understandingly of the situation. But under his facade, he knows secrets that this healer does not.

It had been out of fret that Emma had knocked at the door to Jongho's chambers - she had told him how she had started worrying about Jongho when she had been told by San that no one had seen him around for many more days than normal. Her worries had been set into movement when Seonghwa had started wording his own wonders and she had headed directly to his chamber.

But every root in her had been torn up from the ground when she suddenly had faced Yeosang instead of Jongho - a boy she had believed should have been dead by now.

There she found out about Jongho's condition, and he is not to save.

"Alright.. thank you, Emma.." the boy mutters as his eyes are still grounded to the stone floor.

She bites her lip as she ponders what to say, and Yeosang already knows that her thinking is to no use, when he has his own solution to the matter.

Emma proposes her way of helping him anyway, "Shall I bring you some food?" Her question is gentle, and she waits calmly for his answer without moving on her feet.

"No, do not bother - I have no appetite anyway. But please, if you would be kind and inform Seonghwa of the matter.. I do not think I will come to face him any time soon..."

He looks up at her again to meet her comfort. Emma smiles sadly, "God is with him, to and beyond the end. Jongho's virtue will be honored."

Yeosang grinds his teeth together after she has left the chamber, despite knowing that Emma only means her words out of goodness. God is nowhere close to even embracing him or Jongho.

The knife he seeks is laying on the furniture together with Jongho's other weapons. Yeosang pulls it into his hand and lifts it to study its sharp blade, his thoughts are all drawn to the only possibility of waking Jongho from his slumber - a thing that he suddenly stumbled over the other night when the knight's fever still was high. If the fever has come from the bite mark left by one of those creatures, then he is sure that Jongho will wake up as he did himself. And putting it all together with the way that senses are very observant of the smell of one exact fluid, Yeosang thinks that doing this may work.

Yeosang steadily steps closer to the bed and lowers himself to sit down. Trailing the knife along his palm, he senses its coolness against his skin, nerves prick beneath the touch. But he does not want to wait. A single flick with his wrist has the blade cutting delicately into the surface and he places the sharp item on the table beside the furniture. Yeosang adjusts his sight down to his stinging hand as he for the passing moment watches how the blood rushes to the opening. Saliva accumulates in his mouth while the smell spreads in the chamber.

Then he glances over at Jongho's face and bends his body over him, leading his bleeding hand close to the other's nose, "Please wake up," he mumbles to no one in particular, but himself. He stays with his hand pressed to Jongho's nose for a long time, but nothing happens, and the boy bites the inside of his cheek harshly. He feels at fault for his doings.

"Why is this not working?" he whimpers weakly, pulling his hand away as he grabs the knife again and slides it across the wound, winching a little at the pain before dropping the item to the floor. The sound resonates longingly against the wide walls. Yeosang leads one of his shaking hands around the knight's chin and parts his lips slightly. Then he places his bloody hand to the plumpness, forcing drops of his blood into Jongho's mouth, brows gathered in aversion, but mind playing along in demands of unsatisfied hunger. His unhurt hand rubs the knight's jaws to have him swallow what enters his mouth, and the movements are so desperate.

"Come on.." Yeosang removes his hand again and places them both around Jongho's shoulders in order to lightly press his body weight down onto him.

"We will be in this together!" he growls as he presses harder down. Yeosang watches how the dead man's head under him heels up, but still not moving. The blood spills out of his mouth, untasted for as long it has been on his tongue. "How will I know what to do when they will hunt me down?! Jongho you have to wake up! I cannot bear losing you too."

His voice disappears when his throat narrows as if it physically hurts to speak the truth. Yeosang does not know he is crying before he leans back to rest on his folded legs, and his shoulders are shaking through the sobs that escape his mouth. "Jongho, I beg you! Please come back!!"

But the man is dead, and his words could have been unsaid and the same would have happened. Yeosang does not bother removing the tears from his face while he sits and observes the missing heartbeats in the chamber. He comes to the thought that only has his stomach churn in distortion: Emma may be right of what she told him shortly before, and he should not have been so sure of what he knew of. Because Jongho is still dead.

Yeosang sniffles while he shifts his legs and lays his head heavily down onto his knees. His heart is bursting into thousands of splinters there dig him from the inside and out the more he thinks.

"I.. was the one killing you."

The words make him flinch, burying his sight and face and tears and problems deeper into the patellas, forcing himself to embrace more pain than he wants to believe he will sustain. It makes him feel weak and pathetic - like he always has been. Yeosang tells himself it over and over until he turns insane.

But he flees his own skin, when a touch is brought around one of his hands - a loud gasp tears his throat apart as his now blood-red eyes focus down at the shiver of nails digging into the ridges of his fingers.

It feels as if blood wells in his eyes when he moves his head to glance down at the blue and ruby eye looking up into his own. His face is stained with the red color.

"My love, you were not the one to kill."

_____

Eyes feel sore when he arches his head back to look up at the descending sun when he and Jongho leave the commanders' building after hours of discussions they barely came to any end with. It happened that Seonghwa had not believed anything when he was informed of Jongho's return from apparently his death, and he had been too shocked to even comment on it. Instead, he had told them to accompany him and the rest of the commanders to a meeting, dealing with the still growing issue of the blood-thirsty creatures. Yeosang had not been part of the conversations, but he had listened.

Now his arm gently is pushing against his own chest when Jongho secretly tells him to follow. Yeosang turns to look around the dim courtyard before hurrying after the other, crossing the apple tree that has lost its fruit and leaving the grounds of the fortress. Jongho does not turn to Yeosang before they are down the little hill, entering the small forest, and there he laces his hand into the other's. Yeosang's lips curl up in a smile when the knight's other hand pulls his head closer to kiss him curtly. His eyes linger at his lips for a passing moment before he draws himself away and they walk to the little stone gathering.

Jongho pushes the boy down to sit at one of the stones, "What are you hiding under your shirt?" he asks him.

And the smile in Yeosang's face broadens into a cheeky expression, giving Jongho an insight of rare trouble. The man removes the other's arm and pulls the fabric out from his trousers, letting what he was hiding fall down into his lap and the sight has Jongho furrowing befuddled. He takes the paper into his hands and unfolds it.

"A map?"

Yeosang looks up at him as he studies Jongho's features in the slight lighting. His teeth ache from the smell that surrounds him and he swallows tightly before answering.

"Yes..."

He looks away from the piece of parchment, and Yeosang knows that he is staring with his red eyes up at the other.

"I can feel your hunger, Yeosang," the knight mutters as he now lets go of the map and leans closer, sitting down sideways onto the inviting lap as arms tangle around shoulders. "I have been throwing my meals up today.." Yeosang says and Jongho only hums at him with a single eye as piercing red as his, "May I bite you? I want to taste you.. mhmm smells so good..."

Yeosang's sharp fangs grace Jongho's skin as saliva trails along with it, but the knight is still calm. Yeosang's mind twirls with perspectives of their situation and he draws air in without feeling relieved.

Jongho caresses the back of his head tenderly, "You can drink, Yeosang."

The boy licks his lips, and the tip of his tongue touches his skin in the tension. "What if we just ran away. Far, far away.." he whispers before biting down into the knight's neck.

⚔︎