2| Bereft

It doesn't take more than a glimpse out of the window for Yeosang to get distracted by the weather's threatening bearings. Goosebumps spread across his skin and long forgotten are his mother's words about the preparation of the supposed marriage. The view regards him nothing anyway, and through the last couple of days, has his belief definitely not changed any bit. He hates everything about it, and he feels terribly guilty knowing to dismay the girl with his unengaged approach. That is what possibilities Wooyoung has shown him through the world of his; that women don't awaken his interests as much as men do. Yeosang knows that his beliefs don't matter, however, and if he ever will find the courage to voice them, he can't think of anything other than his own head hanging from a pedestal. He would be killed right away.

"Kang Yeosang! Are you even listening to what I speak of? I won't be telling you all this information another time, so if you don't very soon start taking any interest in this, will I make sure to cut down all outdoor activities!"

The boy turns his head at the tone of his mother's declaration and his eyes droop to the wooden table he currently sits at. He can feel the dig of the milady's eyes on him, and Yeosang suddenly wants to turn away from this situation, but he can't.

"I apologize, eomma, I-I just think that I am not ready yet," Yeosang admits true to his feelings and lets him fall a bit more.

In several seconds, he doesn't hear a sound from the woman in the same room as him, but then she draws a sharp amount of air in and rounds the table before suddenly grabbing his clothes. Yeosang's sight flies up in fear and the stone-cold eyes hit him.

"In no way, do you have any opinion on this. How dare you say you're not ready yet! You turn nineteen in a few days, you're a man, Yeosang!", her dainty fingers tear his head backward until she hovers over his seat and sneers the last words out, "so try act like one instead of scurrying away every time you face the smallest difficulty."

The woman's chest is heaving and sinking from the remaining rage that she still cages, but Yeosang still sees all the emotions spill from her eyes that he is forced to stare right into. If he takes as much as a glance away, will his cheek sting for the rest of the day. But Yeosang also knows that if he doesn't answer her very soon, then he will be locked inside his chamber until he somehow figures out how to take responsibility for his own life.

Still, the boy simply is at a loss of words, and so, his mother hits the side of his head with a flat hand and leaves the room for him to sit and feel how blood spills under his skin from the harsh impact. When the heavy wooden door is shut close, Yeosang draws a hand up to the red hand mark that burns his cheek very uncomfortable and very carefully tries to cool the strike with his slightly low-tempered digits. It pulls at his heart to know that his mother is right for what she says, and in a swirl of thoughts, he thinks he in some way deserved the pain. The boy bites his bottom lip when the shadow of pricking tears swell in his eyes and only evince his mother's remark even more clearly. Yeosang is not manly enough. He is letting emotions rule over his acts and thus forcing himself to stand fragile and vulnerable, and too feminine.

Yeosang's breath is wavy when he draws in the air and gets up from the seat and hurries away from the toxic atmosphere that seems to follow him around wherever he goes. His feet seek the only place where he knows he can be safe in those properties. The path through the whole west side is known for him, but far from soothing. Yeosang's footsteps carry on hollowness like they don't exist as they should and his body tense at the candle that suddenly blows out from the candlestick that is placed in a dull windowsill. For a moment he thinks he is cursed.

Nervously, he drags his hand to the doorknob and lets himself into his chamber before quickly shutting the door closed again. The room screams in silence and when Yeosang turns around at his feet his leather shoes squeak against the raw stone floor. No warmth is flowing in this part of the building and the boy does what makes the most sense for him at that given moment. The closet still stands tall against the wall and Yeosang opens it effortlessly and stares into the piles of clothes as his mind chases him to shift out of the attire he wears. His fingers reach for the laces in the chest part of his deep green shirt and not long after it all falls to the floor and he hastens into more comfortable garments.

The boy crawls into his bed and curls his limbs close beneath the sheets until the numbness can't reach deeper. But nothing helps. Yeosang still feels how the digging hit his core and suddenly his heart starts to bleed all over the white covers. His mother's words are not helping his worries to heal, and Yeosang fears what his future will bring. For a first, he must bite back the tears that threaten to fall. He has known this would happen from the very beginning of his own life, so why did it then suddenly impair him like this? It isn't a surprise that he will have to marry someone that his father decides who will be; in fact, that is just how it works. That is how every other heir has to deal with, just like him. Also, Wooyoung.

A knock on the door sends him flying back into the bed as he tries to wipe the evidence of dripping tears. Yeosang hopes that the intruder changes their mind when they don't have any answer at the door, but for his unluck, the knocking doesn't stop. He pulls the sheets up and holds his breath when the doorknob is turned and prays for someone to pull him away before his worries will sink deeper.

The one that enters is wearing a long, brown cloak, covering their whole body fully, and they definitely don't spare Yeosang any glance at first. The boy freezes in his trembling and confusion wraps around the worries until panic sets into him at the moment the wooden door is closed again. The possibility of someone kidnapping him may be great considering Yeosang is a son of a relatively superior man who has his pockets filled with silver and other goods.

But the whimper that the young male lets out when the hood is removed from the intruder's head tells him that everything that his mind just has set him through, is untrue. Yeosang doesn't believe what his eyes let him see and he thinks he sees those visions he is told only crazy people have. Hesitantly he raises himself from the furniture and walks closer to the person.

"Woo-Wooyoung?" he stutters in utter confusion.

The younger let the cloak fall to the floor and Yeosang can only see how the light illuminates his outline. It's admirable and Yeosang's eyes stick to the glorious sight before he comes to think rationally again.

"What are you doing here?"

That last time had been the last time for Yeosang. Or, at least he had wanted it to be the last time for the sake of his already devastated heart, and seeing Wooyoung stand there, glowing in the light like he is an angel does only make him mistrust his own decisions even more than already.

Wooyoung looks down, and Yeosang sees how he bites his lips nervously, "I wanted to see you again... I do not believe in goodbye's."

While he speaks, he takes a step closer to Yeosang and gently searches for his teary eyes. The boy feels his bleeding heart rapidly beat into his chest when Wooyoung suddenly caresses his cold cheek. The world has difficulties with growing colors this time, as Yeosang tries everything in his might to elusive the growing feelings.

"We will see each other again, just.. different from this," Yeosang whispers out, his eyes wide and scared, "You have to trust me, I don't want this as well."

Wooyoung's hand mildly trails down to his chin and grabs it, "I do."

Then he raises his other hand and cups his other cheek carefully as he observes the red mark pulled across the skin, "Who did this?"

Yeosang closes his eyes and swallows difficulty. He feels like he is breathing underwater.

"I t-told her that I was not ready yet. And then she slapped me, the milady."

He feels the touch of lips upon his own, resting there ever so slightly like the petal of a flower. Yeosang sighs when Wooyoung kisses him again and draws the anxiety into a dozing tingle instead of the burning panic.

The words that the other boy tells him perishes through the touches he feels and lets coloring shades spread in his mind. Yeosang dives deeper into the emotions that their shared kiss carries until his whole existence flees the reality and the only thing that isn't blurry is Wooyoung. Slowly, he lets his arms around the younger and draws him closer in the way he likes it the most. Wooyoung is warm and soft and Yeosang has never clearly understood why. He brings his head away for a moment and inhales the cool air while he worships the beautiful brown eyes that glints at him in the feeble amount of light.

Yeosang thinks that the younger boy tells that he is proud of him, but he doesn't hear the voice as he leans forward and tastes the lips again. A fever nails him against this addiction and his fingers entwine in the ash colored hair before he opens his mouth and meets heated guidance. The connection is everything he very soon will miss like it is a foreign term.

"What am I seeing!!"

Fright runs through Yeosang and he has Wooyoung stumble into him as they fall towards the rear wall. His hands clutch at Wooyoung's white shirt when his raging father runs into his sight. Behind the furious man, he sees his mother stand with her hands held for her mouth in pure terror.

Before he even knows of it, the broad terrifying man nears them and suddenly pushes Wooyoung away from him before tearing Yeosang closer by his garments. His teeth are grit.

"Are you sinning with other men?!"

The divulgence makes the boy tremble into an unconscious living state and his breathing paces. When the lord turns around he glares at the neighborhood's peccant and points threateningly in the direction of the door.

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU FILTHY MISCREANT!!"

Wooyoung is startled from the loud yelling and scrambles to his feet from there he twirls around and stares at Yeosang's pale face. It is a final goodbye. Then he watches the younger boy fetch his ditched cloak from the stone floor and run off. Yeosang can still feel the touch against his lips even after his father hits his head. Pain erupts from the strike but the son doesn't move any inch away from the hazard.

"You are disrespecting me, son, I will not be tolerating this," a hand grabs his hair and pulls at his scalp until his head is forced down and Yeosang does everything to hold in his cry in agony.

In wrath, he is hauled down to the floor as tears coat his orbs until he can't see anything. His father roars at him while he all of a sudden lets go of him and he lands on the hard floor in a bone-shattering embrace. All air is beaten out of his lungs.

"How dare you taunt your own father's reputation, my reputation! I have done nothing but provided you with a worthy life with a promising future, and all you do is pursue wrongdoings like a sinner. What will He not say, this is repellent!"

The boy ignores the painful noises that drift around his senses when his parents suddenly come to a discussion about what they now will have to do with their disappointing son. His chest hurts more than his nose that is bleeding in silence but no one regards his agony any notice and when he is forced to his feet again, Yeosang does not look up again.

His father drags him through the building until they cross the courtyard, and his bare feet are dirtied with soil and mud from the greasy cobblestones. Servants are staring at them from every corner, also after his father hisses at them to watch the other way. He is pushed through a door into a spare building that their family earlier had used for storing supplies, where he stumbles to the floor when his father lets go of him again. Skin abrasions scrape across his palms when he sits bent over the dusty ground from the crash.

"If you as much as only think of escaping this building, will I have you tied up to a chair in the feasting hall until I know what to do with you. For now, you will stay here," his father sputter at him before slamming the heavy wooden door in and locking the grand padlock, and leaving his only son to mourn his own failure.

Yeosang doesn't move when droplets of water start hitting his hair, trailing down his back, and eventually also clash against his arms. The reason why this building has gotten abandoned is because of the huge hole in the roof that rain now falls down through. If Yeosang hadn't been his parents' only child, he would already have been killed by now, but he knows for a fact that his father can't do that if he wants to keep an heir for the estate. His father's solution will certainly not be pleasant.

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