hello its been a few decades how is everyone doing (-:::

¡¡ kinda long chapter ahead !!

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"iㅡi don't know what to say, taehyung. i'm so sorry . . ."

hoseok tightened his hold around the younger's shoulders, rubbing his forearm soothingly as he watched his face in concern.

"will you be okay?" he added softly.

taehyung sniffled, swiping a hand over his eyes. "i don't know if i'll ever be okay again, hyung. i justㅡ" he gasped as a sob escaped his throat and covered his mouth with a hand. the next words he said came out in a tiny, muffled voice, "i never expected jungkook wouldㅡthat heㅡ"

"it's okay," hoseok cooed, raising his hand from taehyung's arm to pull his head onto his shoulder. "it's okay, tae. i'm here. it's okay."

"i just thoughtㅡi thought he was my friend."

"he is your friend, taehyung."

"iㅡi thought we had something, but thisㅡthisㅡ"

"okay." hoseok exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and raising the other in a 'stop' sign. "that's enough. i'm done humoring this."

"no, this isㅡ" taehyung's previously puffy eyes blazed with a sudden rage. "this is unforgivable. like how dare he. fucking scum, i'll kill him in the most revolting way possibㅡOW!"

his sudden exclamation of pain had been the result of hoseok jutting his shoulder up in annoyance, which had jarred into the cheek taehyung had so fondly placed on it.

taehyung clutched said cheek, then repeated, eyes wide with hurt, "ow."

"you better fuckin' ow. you are such a baby, you know that?" hoseok reached for the white-cased phone clutched tightly in taehyung's hand. "just give me that and quit your damn whining."

taehyung hissed, batting away hoseok's approaching hand. "i was wrong about jungkook, but i didn't know i was wrong about you."

"for the love of god, boyㅡ"

"i thought you cared."

"just hand me the phone."

"i trusted you."

hoseok gritted his teeth, curling his handsㅡwhich were on the verge of choking taehyung to goddamn hellㅡinto his hair. "why are you acting like it's such a big stupid deal?"

"because it is!" taehyung raised his trembling hand to face level, jungkook's phone flashing in it. "look at me, hyung. i'm shedding man tears. my nose doesn't even sound weird anymore. theㅡthe disrespect of this, it's justㅡunfathomableㅡ"

"quit it, man."

"HOW COULD HE NOT HAVE A SINGLE MEME OF ME, HOSEOK?" taehyung shrieked, clenching his quivering fingers around the phone tighter and raising his other hand to do the same, as if strangling the inanimate object. "HYUNG? TELL ME! HOW COULD HE NOT?"

"i can't even begin to understand the turmoil you must be going through right now," hoseok said slowly, hoping that by being sympathetic he'd somewhat soothe the boy, but clearly failing from taehyung's unchanged expression. "god, just give me the phone before you do anything stupidㅡ"

"of course you wouldn't understand," taehyung snarled, dangling the phone at a distance. "he has over fifty memes of you."

"i'm sorry, taehyung, now please justㅡ"

"NO!"

and taehyung threw it.

not softly, as if tossing a baby up to make it giggle, but with so much force that hoseok could hear the lash of air; not onto the bed, but past it, way too past it, right into theㅡ

the two watched it sail through the air, horror setting into their expressions, as it crashed right into the wall.

a horrible, sickly silence.

"ohㅡoh my god, taehyung, what have you done?" hoseok finally choked out, rolling off the bed and creeping towards the crash site of the phone. his breath hitched as he located its remains, hand masking his mouth from view in shock. "oh my god. oh my god."

he heard a shaky gulp from behind him, but didn't turn, horrified gaze fixated on the remnants jungkook's phone. jungkook's phone. jungkook's phone.

"is it . . . bad?" taehyung whimpered, standing by hoseok's shoulder and peeking his head over it to glance at the mess. "please tell me that's not jungkook's phone and just a pile of scrap metal you happen to keep in the corner of your room at all times."

"that's jungkook's phone."

taehyung cried out in alarm, backing away and retreating to the bed, and hoseok turned to watch him stare around, listless in his shock. "oh my god. thisㅡthis means the end for me, right?" hoseok nodded sadly, and taehyung's expression turned solemn, as if he'd accepted his fate. "tell soonshim i love him. and dedicate a cypher to me, right?"

"of course, taehyung," hoseok said softly, kneeling next to the bed and patting his knee sympathetically. "anything else you need to get out?"

taehyung, who had been gazing at his own hands intently with a deep guilt set into his eyes, looked up. a flash of something else passed through them.

"you know," he began, gaze shifting in embarrassmentㅡhoseok withdrew his hand, which he hadn't even realized was still resting on the younger's thigh. thigh? "we never really talked about, uhㅡwhat you . . . said before."

"before as in a minute ago? or two minutes? orㅡ"

taehyung scowled, shifting his leg slightly to graze hoseok's arm. "don't pull a me on me."

it wasn't that hoseok wasn't aware of exactly how 'before' the other was referring toㅡthere wasn't really anything else that could explain the awkwardness emanating from the younger. he mentally cringed at his apology outside taehyung's doorㅡit suddenly felt like eons ago.

holy shit, had he actually legitimately been arguing with a door?

"we did talk about what i said, taehyungㅡremember?" hoseok tapped his chin as if pondering, though his expression should have made it clear enough that he didn't need any time to recall the events. "let's see, you said it wasㅡfunny."

"and then you kicked me in the face," taehyung retaliated, sticking his nose up for added effect.

hoseok scoffed. "and now we're here."

a pause for the two to take in the situation.

"so how about that heart-to-heart convo, huh?" taehyung finally spoke up, his uneasiness become increasingly evident by the passing second. "you up for it?"

hoseok stared at him. "you serious right now?"

"dead serious. i justㅡ" the younger patted the place on the bed next to him, and hoseok obediently climbed to his feet, dropping down on the edge of the bed next to him. he watched him suspiciously. "god, okay. this is probably going to end really bad, or weird, or weirdly bad or badly weird, butㅡbut i'm dying anyway, right? so can we, um, talk?"

"sure," hoseok said, slowly. confused. he twisted his position on the bed so that he could fully face the other, then repeated, more confident now, "okay, sure. i love talking. what's up?"

"yes. hm," taehyung breathed in, bringing his sleeve to his teeth and chewing it nervously, eyes raising to meet hoseok's. hoseok could read the emotion in his eyes easily enoughㅡfright. because of him, jung hoseok? he almost laughed.

"can i keep your shirt?" taehyung finally spoke around the cloth in his mouth.

hoseok blinked in surprise, hand clutching the hem of his own top unconsciously. "i'm sorry, what?"

"your shirt," taehyung repeated. noticing hoseok's sudden discomfort and protectiveness towards his upper attire of clothing, the younger made quick amends to his statement. "the other one, theㅡ" his gaze flickered away pointedly, presumably to where the two had been seated before, where hoseok had taken apart a shirt for taehyung's nose. "the one you tore apart for like, literally no reason at all."

"yes, you can keep the shirt, for fuck's sake." for the huge build-up taehyung had made up to uttering this request, hoseok was not impressed at all with the reveal. "was that what you wanted to talk about?"

"no," taehyung mumbled, pulling a chewed-up sleeve away from his mouth.

no? "so do you want the shirt or not?" hoseok asked, perplexed.

"i do!" taehyung said quickly. "want the shirt, yes." he brought his arm up once again, sleeve hovering near his mouth. "but, um . . . there's something else."

hoseok intercepted the boy's arm before the cloth could be captured between his teeth againㅡhe was wearing expensive shit. "that you want?"

"in a sense . . ." taehyung crossed his arms stiffly, considering. "i guess, yeah."

hoseok's eyebrows rose. "i hope this has something to do with y'all messing up my room."

"in a sense . . ." taehyung's voice wobbled. "y-yes."

hoseok nodded for him to continue, and the younger inhaled sharply, as if preparing himself, before rushing out, "before iㅡum, say anything, just know that i don't expect you to react in any particular wayㅡhell, you don't even have to react. please don't react? i mean, there's namjoon hyungㅡ"

namjoon?

"ㅡand you don't evenㅡi mean, you might? but why would youㅡokay but seriously, i'm not expectingㅡ"

"breathe," hoseok interrupted, touching taehyung's arm in alarm as he heaved out a shaky breath. "taehyung, breathe."

"popsicles," taehyung mumbled vaguely.

"nothing's going to happen," hoseok assured him, rubbing the younger's tense forearm soothingly. "it's just dumb ol' me, okay? you can tell me what's up."

"one thing." taehyung looked hoseok in the eye, suddenly solemn. "whatever happens in the next 150 seconds, i still get the shirt, okay?"

hoseok withdrew his hand slowly, eye developing a slight, involuntary twitch. ". . . sure, okay."

taehyung nodded, licking his lips as his gaze focused on the bedsheet. he breathed in.

hoseok waited.

taehyung breathed out.

freeze frame.

"150 seconds, taehyung," hoseok reminded him impatiently. "time is ticking."

taehyung's eyes flickered around the room, wide and panicked. "iㅡi don't know how to put it, just give me aㅡ"

"139 . . ." hoseok interrupted mercilessly. "138 . . ."

taehyung pulled on his fringe, groaning loudly, before splaying his hands to his sides in fists and bursting out, "i like you, hyung."

hoseok froze.

oh na.

if it had been up to him, hoseok would have shoved taehyung off the bed, forgotten about his presence entirely and then proceeded to scream into a pillow for the rest of his damn lifeㅡor at least until seokjin called him for dinner or something, but that was besides the point.

but it wasn't up to him. it was up to his more sensible counterpart, who calmly brought up a few things to considerㅡwas it a prank? a dare? was taehyung high? losing it? bored? or was he just telling hoseok, his very good friend, that he appreciated the bear band-aid and the torn-up shirt?

i like you, hyung.

oh man.

"me, too." hoseok's mouth moved on its own accord, voicing what seemed to be the safest answer. "i mean, i like you too. you're a cool guy."

taehyung seemed momentarily lost, before nodding hastily. "you too. you're a cool guy."

"we're cool guys."

"yeah."

awkward pause, in which hoseok mentally beat the shit out of himself. cool guys, for real? did he actually say that?

"okay that's not what i meant," taehyung said flatly.

"right." hoseok swallowed. oh. na. "of course."

"are we on the same page?" taehyung asked to confirm, eyeing hoseok uncertainly.

"probably."

"you're freaking out," taehyung pointed out nervously. "i told you not to freak out."

hoseok shook his head in firm denial. "i am not freaking out."

hoseok was freaking out.

"hear me out, okay?" taehyung said desperately, making wild, unexplained fanning motions with his hands, probably in an attempt to prevent the incoming freak-out session he was expecting from hoseok. "iㅡokay, i know there's namjoon hyung and all, but you should just knowㅡ"

there is was again. namjoon. "what about namjoon?" hoseok asked, exasperated as he batted away taehyung's flailing hands.

"you know what about namjoon," taehyung mumbled, suddenly aloof.

"taehyung," hoseok injected all the seriousness into his tone that he could manage, "i have no idea what about namjoon."

taehyung glared at hoseok, like he couldn't believe that he was making him say the words. "you like him."

"i what him?" hoseok choked out, gaping at taehyung incredulously. he'd been prepared for a whole lot of questionable explanations for taehyung's sudden namjoon obsession, but this?

"you like him," taehyung snapped impatiently. "you like namjoon hyㅡ"

"oh my god i heard you, don't say it again!" hoseok squeaked. he breathed in. and out. "GROSS!"

taehyung blinked, and in that second hoseok saw the hopefulness in his eyes being replaced by a slightly more violent emotion. "what do you mean, gross? you got something against namjoon hyung? because i will fightㅡ"

"no! it's just, i meanㅡew! howㅡwhy would you even think that i likeㅡi mean, heㅡ"

"is it because he's a guy?" taehyung suddenly asked quietly, and thought his voice was low, his tone brought hoseok's stammering to an abrupt halt.

"no. no no no. it's likeㅡ" hoseok chewed on his lip thoughtfully. "okay. if i were to suggest that you had romantic feelings for, say, jiminㅡ"

taehyung doubled over, gagging on thin air. "woah, what the fuㅡ"

"or jungkookㅡ"

"EW, FAM, STOPㅡ"

hoseok grinned in triumph as taehyung struggled to regain his composure. "there we go."

"wait." taehyung raised his head, wiping the corner of his mouth with a hand. "so you see namjoon hyung as, like, a sibling."

"yes," hoseok sighed in relief.

taehyung nodded, when his brow suddenly furrowed in suspicion. "you're not into . . . incest, are you?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAEHYUNG, I DON'T LIKE NAMJOON."

"just checking. um," taehyung scratched his cheek awkwardly, head dropping down slightly to mask his eyes with his bangs. "what about me?"

"what about you?" hoseok asked, narrowing his eyes.

"am i like a sibling to you?" the younger elaborated carefully.

"uh, you know . . ." sensible!hoseok stepped in. "sure. um, yeah. you're my bro."

taehyung seemed momentarily dejected, and hoseok resisted the urge to take it back when he looked up hopefully. "again, are you into incest or?"

"taehyung."

they fell silent, and though taehyung was wearing a bear band-aid, all hoseok could see was one sad little puppy.

"god." no longer able to stand the look on the younger's face, hoseok booted sensible!hoseok off his controls and sighed loudly. "okay, i lied."

taehyung's eyes widened as he looked up, hopeful once again. "you're into incest?"

"for the last, last timeㅡ" hoseok breathed in. "no. i'm into . . ." and out. "you."

taehyung stared at him for the longest time. "so you're into incest."

his neckㅡtaehyung's neck, it just looked so . . . strangleable. funny how he'd never noticed that before. "kid, i don't see you as a brother. i lied."

instead of lighting up as hoseok had been hoping, taehyung's face fell. "what?"

"ngghㅡ" hoseok forced on a smile. "let's rewind to you saying that you like me, shall we?"

"oh, yeah!" taehyung gave hoseok's shoulder a light punch, grinning. "we're cool guys!"

hoseok's fingers twitched. oh, how much he wished he could just wrap them around that neck, and just . . . squeeze . . . the fucking life . . . out of the ethereal human being . . . seated in front of him.

"are we destined to never have one of those heartfelt confession scenes?" hoseok mused out loud, near in tears.

"okay, i'll talk," taehyung said quickly, clearing his throat. hoseok took that as a cue to brace himself. "you're fucking amazing, okay? you're like this literal ray of sunshineㅡand i know that everyone says that, but it's different in this case. you're my ray of sunshine. we'd be here forever if i listed everything i like about you, but can i just say that it is honestly the most adorable thing in the world how you stare at me intensely all the time . . . even if it's only because of my memeing or whatever. i have no idea why i like it when you stare, to be honestㅡi guess i like the attention. or maybe 'cause you have nice eyes. i dunno. okay, your turn noㅡholy shit hyung are you okay?"

with a start, hoseok realized he was biting down on his own hand, and on withdrawing it hastily and taking in the deep bite marks imprinted on it, he realized he'd been biting down hard.

"no," hoseok replied truthfully, "no i'm not, fuck you taehyung."

"why are we not together, oh my god?" taehyung burst out, almost laughing. "holy shit, you like me!"

"just shut up, you stupid sack of siberian sheep shit," hoseok gritted his teeth, taehyung's indifference to the entire situation frustrating him beyond measures he'd ever thought possible. how could he just say something like that, something so meaningful, so beautiful, without breaking down crying or flinging himself into one of hoseok's cupboards for the next decade? how could he justㅡlaugh?

"your turn!" taehyung piped up cheerfully.

though mentally and physically exhausted, hoseok managed a half-hearted glare. "already did my part outside nick the door, tae."

"oh, right." taehyung flushed a bit, which made hoseok feel slightly better. "that."

"that," hoseok confirmed. he tilted his head, something coming back to him. "hey, quick question. what's with that whole namjoon thing, huh?"

"ugh, that." taehyung groaned, covering his face with his hands. "just . . . nothing. something jungkook said . . ." he trailed off, dropping his hands down to his sides to reveal slightly furrowed eyebrows.

hoseok blinked. "jungkook?"

"um, yeah." taehyung forced out an embarrassed chuckle. "he kinda knows that i . . . uh, like you."

hoseok placed a hand over his heart, cooing, "aw, you confided in him?"

the younger buried his head in his hands once again, this time stuttering unintelligibly.

"so, like," hoseok went on, teasing, "you rant to him about how unattainably alluring i am or something?"

his playful statement was met with eyes wide with shock. "did you go through my chats?"

"oh my god, i can't believe this is happening. you actually likeㅡwow. this is insane." hoseok giggled in uncontrollable glee. "oh my god."

"y-yeah . . ." taehyung's gaze fell downcast, face turning a different shade. "um, i feel kinda . . . weird . . ."

hoseok smiled softly. "i know, and i don't blame you, okay?" he took taehyung's notably clammy hands in his. "but we can get used to it, right? for each other?"

"hyung, you don't get it, i-i feel reallyㅡ" it was then that hoseok noticed that the shade taehyung was turning wasn't red from shyness, but more of a sickly yellow. "oh man."

"taehyung? kid, are you good?" hoseok squeezed his hands, concerned. "hey, speak to me."

"um, hyung, i thiㅡi think i'm gonnaㅡ"

"crap your pants? scream? sing?" hoseok questioned successively. a sharp shake of the head from taehyung followed each. "what's up? taehyung?"

as taehyung opened his mouth, a line from the page hoseok's previous google searches had brought him to suddenly popped into his head, along with loud red sirens going off in the back of his mind in warningㅡdo not tilt your head back. this may cause blood  to run down the back of your throat, and you may swallow it. swallowed blood can irritate your  stomach and cause vomiting.

hoseok's eyes widened. "wait, just, one secondㅡ"

and taehyung puked.

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i honestly envy ppl who can listen to music and write at the same time, meanwhile im here listening to not today and making a typo literally every two words :\

[whispers] chong jojun balsa

also ! updates will be faster now !! i swear it on....that tongue technology guy