aju yikes sorry for the wait!!!

i apologize in advance for this chapter being so sloppily written axksdjka i'm kinda desperate to get back to 100% texting ahahHAh

[ + ]

memehyung

urhope<
ok weird question

>memehyung
try me

urhope<
,,,,,bear or puppy print bandaids

>memehyung
what, the fuck

urhope<
i know

>memehyung
u obviously dont know?? why would u be asking me then??? smh????

>memehyung
BEAR PRINT WHY WOULD I WANT UGLY PUPPIES ON MY NOSE

urhope<
THEY ARE NOT UGLY??? HOW DARE???? YOU?????

>memehyung
FUCKING

>memehyung
TRY

>memehyung
ME

urhope<

>memehyung
GAGS

urhope<
GASPS

urhope<
HOW DO U SLEEP AT NIGHT

>memehyung

urhope<
brb getting a cast from namjoon too bc ur gonna have a broken arm real soon

>memehyung
yeah okay sure

>memehyung
azlans klasa dkW o

urhope<
k

>memehyung
WAIT I WANT THE PUPPY BANDAIDS

>memehyung
I DONT KNOW WHY I SAID I WANTED THE OTHER ONE UM

>memehyung
PLS GET THE PUPPY PRINT

urhope<
too late namjoon just sent me out

>memehyung
GO BACK IN

urhope<
the bear print isnt bad!!!

urhope<

>memehyung
SCREECHES

>memehyung
DONT PUT THAT ON MY NOSE HYUNG

>memehyung
ILL HAVE NIGHTMARES

urhope<
nightbears

>memehyung
,,,hyung

urhope<
i'm sorry

...

hoseok swung open the door to his room, band-aids clutched between his teeth to free his hands. closing the door behind him, he took them out and whirled around, waving them triumphantly. "so i didn't get a cast, but i'd still be happy to breakㅡ"

he trailed off as taehyung bolted up to him franticallyㅡhoseok noted with a hint of annoyance that his face looked just as bad as he'd left it. "did you get the bubby print?"

hoseok was just about to answer that no, he hadn't gotten the 'bubby print', when a new source of voice answered for him, "oh my god, taehyung." hoseok's eyes flitted to him, and they widened. "keep up with the times. namjoon hyung kicked him out, how would have gotten you your ugly ass puppy print band-aids?"

taehyung whirled around at the newcomer, hands falling to his sides in angry fists. "DEYㅡWERE NOTㅡUGLY!"

"no offence," jungkook went on, giving taehyung a reproachful look that clearly meant yes offence, "but if you had put the puppy one on your nose, i'd refuse to be seen with you."

"TAKE. THAT. BACK," taehyung shrieked.

"woah." hoseok put his hands up in a time-out gesture. he turned to taehyung, jerking his head in jungkook's direction. "what is he doing here?"

the maknae crossed his arms. "right fuckin' here."

"exactly." hoseok turned on him. "what are you doing here?"

"i saw taehyung's distress text and came, like the good friend i am," jungkook said, sounding utterly sick and tired of the whole situation. he looked at taehyung for confirmation, who nodded.

"i was bored," taehyung explained.

"ah," hoseok nodded to himself with an eye-roll, "that explains your split-personality when it came to the band-aids. i should've guessed."

"i'm putting a passcode on muh phone," taehyung muttered, and jungkook made a face at him.

"no, i'm putting a band-aid on your nose," hoseok corrected. "now for the love of god, can you go wash your face? you're getting blood everywhㅡwait, what the fuck?"

hoseok's gaze having finally moved away from the two boys, stumbled upon the state of his roomㅡclothes and accessories were strewn all over the place, drawers and cupboards hanging open with their contents lying on the bed and floor innocently as if they'd always been there. which they most definitely hadn't.

"what the hell happened in here?" hoseok screeched, scampering towards the nearest pile of clothing, and on uncrumpling it he identified it as a pair of jeansㅡone of his favorites, too. "explain your sorry selves!"

on no sound from either, hoseok looked up with the intention to chew them out big time, only to find them having a conversation solely through eyebrow movements.

he decided to silently judge them instead.

after a particularly vicious eyebrow flick from taehyung, jungkook faced hoseok reluctantly.

"totally my fault," he said with attempted sorrow. a jab in the side from taehyung prompted him to go on, "v hyung didn't call me over, i, uh, called myself over."

hoseok crossed his arms, mildly amused as to where this was going. "oh?"

"indeed so!" taehyung piped up, nodding his head rapidly. "in fact, he was looki'g for somethi'g in your room! and he dragged me into it! against muh will! he took advantage of a poor, innocent, injured you'g manㅡ"

"that's enough," jungkook snapped. he inhaled heavily, knitting his hands. "see, i was simply . . ."

"simply?" hoseok prompted.

"sim-ply . . ."

hoseok waited.

"ㅡsimply looking for aㅡpopsicle!" jungkook finished with a flourish.

taehyung and hoseok deadpanned at him.

"a popsicle," the latter repeated, unimpressed.

"dat the best you can come ub wid?" taehyung hissed.

"shut up you red-nosed cabbage ass, at least i said somethingㅡ"

"cabbage, cabbage, i'mㅡ"

"i believe you," hoseok cut in calmly.

two heads jerked around at him incredulously.

"for real?" jungkook exclaimed. "i meanㅡuh, good for you, fam."

"he's so stubib," taehyung whispered.

"right?"

if hoseok hadn't been feeling super extra forgiving at that particular momentㅡironic considering that just earlier, he'd refused to take a single of taehyung's many apologies to heartㅡhe would have throttled the two, dangled them over a pit of fire and demanded to know what they had been doing with his shit, but for now he really just wanted to slap a band-aid on taehyung's nose and call it a day.

"jungkook if you're done with your hypothetical popsicle hunt then can you please get out of my room thanks you're the best," he finished without waiting for the boy's reply, pulling a namjoon and shoving him out of his room; only he succeeded. jungkook mouthed something that hoseok didn't bother to interpret, instead slammed the door in his face.

hoseok turned to taehyung.

"i'm just going to, um, wash my face," the younger said hastily, understanding hoseok's steely expression well enoughㅡi'm not asking you again.

he promptly scurried into the bathroom, and hoseok collapsed onto the bed, placing the pack of band-aids next to him. he sighed in relief as he heard the tap running, fucking finally, followed by a few consecutive sounds of water splashing. the water flow cut off.

"hey, hyu'g!" taehyung called from the bathroom. hoseok looked up. "there are towels in here! guess you didn't have to tear up your shird, huh?"

towels in the bathroom.

hoseok looked down at the floor, at his ruined shirt.

of fucking course.

...

"why. why does this happen to me. why."

"it's been 84 years, ladies and gents, and jung hoseok is still goi'g on about his damn fudding shird! tune in for more updates in the next century! kim taehyu'g out!"

"shut the fuck up. god, it was so young . . . it was in its prime, taehyung. it had barely got out there . . . barely got to live its life . . ."

"update! kim taehyu'g is killing himself! signing off, once and for alㅡ"

hoseok rolled his eyes and pressed the towel on taehyung's mouth to shut him up, who narrowed his eyes and glared until the older removed it and dabbed the rest of taehyung's dripping wet features. "whatever man. i miss nicki, okay?"

"the fud is nicki?"

hoseok remained silent.

"oh my godㅡ" taehyung choked on nothingness, "oh my god, you named the fudding shird nickiㅡ"

"you named your door nick, you don't get to talk." the emphasis on the last word was accompanied by a swift flick of the towel on taehyung's face.

"nick and nicki, shipped or whad?"

"inter-species dating," hoseok shook his head firmly. "nuh uh, fam."

"you're such a wet towel," taehyung muttered darkly.

"blanket, you cutie," hoseok laughed. taehyung glanced at him in confusion, turning slightly pink, and hoseok shook his head. "the term's wet blanket."

"piss off."

hoseok chuckled and put the towel away, surveying taehyung's face for any stray blood marks he may have missed whilst washing his face. "stage one is complete."

"let's just get this ober with." taehyung's gaze shifted away as hoseok's eyes locked onto his, instead focusing on the innocent pack of band-aids lying on the older's lap. "stage two, commence."

"i'll make it fast," hoseok reassured him, ripping open the packet and pulling out a band-aid, smiling bears flashing. "you ready for this?"

"noㅡ"

hoseok stuck the band-aid on his nose.

a moment of silence.

"howㅡ" taehyung swallowed, touching his newly-clothed nose gingerly. "how dud it look?"

hoseok chose not to reply, instead wordlessly pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"what are you doing? how dud it look, hyu'g?" taehyung whimpered, eyes following hoseok's motion nervously.

"i need a picture of this," hoseok finally snorted, and before taehyung could even react, the phone's camera flashed in his face.

"HYU'G!"

"new wallpaper."

"a fine dick, that's whad you are," taehyung sniffed indignantlyㅡor at least tried to. "now whad?"

hoseok settled into the bed, pulling a pillow into his lap and opening his phone. "we wait."

"for?"

"your nose to go back to normal."

taehyung crinkled his nose, causing an unfortunately-positioned bear to twist its features in quite a gruesome manner. "that could takeㅡ"

"ㅡweeks, you said that already." hoseok tapped the twitter app with no particular goal, just to pass time. "and weeks you shall stay."

"butㅡwe'll starve."

"i got gummy bears."

"we're set, then!" taehyung visibly perked up, reaching across the bed for his phoneㅡand freezing. "hyu'g, you have two phones?"

hoseok looked up, palming his only phone in his hand. "no? the fuck would i do with two phones?"

taehyung wordlessly pointed at the two phones lying on the bed.

"one is yours," hoseok began slowly.

"i think that'sㅡhyu'g, that's jeon jungkook's phone."

a tense silence.

"um!" hoseok broke it with an airy, albeit nervous, laugh. "big deal! it's just a phone, we'll return it to him later."

"right. yes. we'll return it." taehyung carefully retrieved his own phone from the bed.

"do not make eye contact with it, taehyung," hoseok warned him in a low whisper, before returning his attention to his phone screen.

"iㅡi won't."

a few minutes of quiet social-media scrolling was interrupted by a short whimper from taehyung. "hy-hyu'g, it's stari'g at me."

hoseok placed his phone down with a long sigh, cracking his knuckles in preparation. "why are we even trying, man?"

taehyung lunged for the maknae's abandoned phone. "you ready for this?"

"i was born ready."

"time to delede this dipshit's memes."