La mia mente malata non immagina questo come un'animatic normale disegnato, ma come busti che si muovono impazziti e immagini, perché delle teste inespressive che cazzeggiano fanno più ridere a quanto pare😂

Agrippina:
There, right there!
Look at that tan, well-tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh please, he's gay, totally gay!

Augusto:
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
This guy's not gay, I say not gay

Tutti:
That is the elephant in the room
*Annibale su un elefante confuso sul perché si trovi lì*
Well, is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically, radically fey?

Claudio:
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks

Agrippina:
Look at his silk translucent socks

Augusto:
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seein'

Agrippina:
What are we seein'?

Augusto:
Is he gay? (Agrippina: of course he's gay!)
Or European?

Tutti:
Oh
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?

Tiberio scandalizzato:
Well, hey, don't look at me!

Giulia:
You see, they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
*Immagine della villa a Capri*
They play peculiar sports

*immagine di Tiberio nella piscina con i bambini*

Tutti:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
*bambino romano con il suo completino*
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They both say things like "ciao bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks
(Agrippina: oh, please)
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

*poster di cinquanta sfumature di grigio*

Nerone:
Depending on the time of day
The French go either way

*Asterix e Obelix non sanno se andare a destra o a sinistra*

Tutti:
Is he gay or European, or-

Giulia:
There, right there!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
*Augusto confuso su quali work e quali guys stia parlando*
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way!

Tutti:
That is the elephant in the room
*Ancora Annibale ed elefante*
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume

*Caligola nel suo bikini dorato di Io, Claudio*

Agrippina:
Is automatically, radically

Augusto:
Ironically, chronically

Giulia:
Certainly, flirtingly

Nerone:
Genetically, medically

*albero genealogico della dinastia*

Tutti:
Gay, officially gay
Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay
*Caligola si mostra con Sempronia e Giulia Drusilla*
Damn it!
Gay or European?

Augusto:
So stylish and relaxed

Tutti:
Is he gay or European?

Augusto:
I think his chest is waxed

Giulia:
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse

Tutti:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
*Pterugi (il gonnellino con le frange) e borsa*
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code

Livia:
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy-toed

*Immagine delle caligae*

Tutti:
Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

*Tre poster di cinquanta sfumature di grigio con tanto di libro*

Giulia:
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday

*Augusto infastidito dietro di lei*

Tutti:
Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-

Claudio:
Wait a minute
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try

Augusto:
The floor is yours

Claudio:
So, Mr. Argitakos
This alleged affair with Mrs. Wyndham has been going on for?

Caligola:
Two years

Claudio:
And your first name again is?

Caligola:
Nikos

Claudio:
And your boyfriend's name is?

Caligola:
Carlos
*tutti sconvolti*
I-I, sorry!
I misunderstand!
You say "boyfriend"
I thought you say "best friend"
Carlos is my... best friend

Incitatus compare nella folla:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you no more!
Peoples
I have a big announcement!
This man is gay and European (tutti: whoa!)
And neither is disgrace (tutti: oh)
You gotta stop your bein'
A completely closet case (tutti: d'oh!)
It's me, not her he's seein'
No matter what he say
I swear he never, ever, ever
Swing the other way
*Caligola su un'altalena*
You are so gay, you big parfait
You flaming one-man cabaret

Caligola:
I'm straight!

Incitatus:
You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay (tutti: and European!)
He's gay (tutti: and European!)
He's gay (tutti: and European and gay!)

Caligola:
Fine, okay, I'm gay!

Tutti:
Hooray!