Chapter 44

"Valentine's Day na pala sa Monday, 'no? May lakad kayo ng boyfriend mo, Izzy?" usisa ni Sawara, isa sa mga kasamahan kong intern sa Fairmont Hotel.

I slammed my locker's door closed with a thud and turned around, folding my arms across my chest.

"Of course," I simply responded. "Pero hindi ko pa sigurado kung saan."

Katatapos lang ng shift namin kaya nagpapalit na kami ng damit. I've already changed into a printed black shirt and a pair of jeans. Ang buhok kong lalong umaalon dahil sa matagal na pagkakatali paikot sa likod ng ulo ko ay nakahawi sa aking likod.

Even though we are still called interns by the management, working as a housekeeper is not a joke. The fact that we are required to clean 10-15 guest rooms within 20-30 minutes daily runs all my energy down. It takes longer than half an hour if the room is a deluxe or suite. The faster, the better.

I'm physically and mentally too knackered to even think about the date on Monday. I didn't even realize it had been almost two months since I started my training here. Luckily, they give us an allowance weekly.

"Ha?" Natatawa siyang lumingon sa akin galing sa kanyang sariling locker. "Well, sino ba ang nagpaplano sa inyo kung saan kayo pupunta? For your date."

"Tuwing Valentine's, siya ang nag-iisip kung saan kami magdi-date. Any dates other than that day, we decide alternately."

"Cool," she said and whistled. "Bet you can date wherever you want. Lucky you for being born with a silver spoon in your mouth."

I chuckled and shook my head. "No. My family's not that well-off. Axe's family is. Pero ngayon, pera na pinaghirapan mismo namin ni Axe ang ginagamit namin kapag gustong mag-date."

We date early; we should learn how to earn early. We go on a date; we pay for it from our own pocket. We either split the bills, or we will pay by turn. He'll pay for the lunch, and I'll pay for the dinner. It's just a give-and-take relationship. Although most of the time, Axasiel will pay for what he thinks are the more expensive bills and I don't argue with it.

I really thought before that the money he was spending with me came from his allowance provided by his parents. Iniisip ko pa lang noon ang lahat ng regalong mamahalin na ibinibigay niya ay inaalala ko na ang reaksyon ni Tita Dias.

I don't have any problem if that's the case as long as he'd saved it and he would spend it wisely. Inaamin ko naman na pera din galing sa allowance na bigay ng magulang ang ginagamit kong panggastos noon pero ngayon, hindi na rin ako masyadong umaasa sa kanila lalo na't may ipon din naman ako galing sa pagtatrabaho noon. Lalo na kung pang-date lang naman namin ni Axasiel.

Hello, kaming dalawa ang nasa relasyon kaya kami dapat ang gumastos sa sarili namin. Binibigyan pa rin naman kami ng allowance pero itinatabi lang muna namin pareho. Kung gagamitin ko man ang akin ay madalas para sa kakailanganin sa acads. Or to pamper myself. Iba 'yong para sa akin, iba 'yong sa tuwing magkasama kami. Ganoon lang.

"Oh, right. You said you worked in a Filipino resto for almost two years, am I correct?"

I smiled at her, jerking my chin up lightly. Pagkatapos naming ayusin ang mga gamit ay lumabas na rin kami ng locker room. We were walking abreast of each other, and I was literally shuffling through the long hallway in exhaustion.

Sawara and I stopped walking into the lobby lounge as we saw the approaching guest. We smiled and greeted her politely and let her walk past us before we resumed our march.

"Wala pa ang sundo ko, Izzy, kaya hihintayin ko na lang dito," ani Sawara nang tumigil kami sa bandang gilid ng lobby. "See you on Monday!"

Nagbeso kaming dalawa bago ako kumaway at nagpatuloy sa paglakad sa lobby. Kahit tapos na ang shift at palabas na ng hotel, bahagyang tumitigil pa rin ako sa paglakad at ngumingiti sa tuwing may paparating na guest.

My eyes squinted when my gaze spotted a familiar face. She got taller, and her hair's in a pixie cut now. Looking sophisticated with her red tube dress, killer heels, and a blank face with full makeup, her strides faltered when our eyes locked with each other.

Bahagya ring natigilan ang lalaking nasa tabi niya. Matangkad, malaki ang pangangatawan, may mahabang balbas at bigote... at kalbo. He looked older—way older than us if I'd based on his face.

Ngumiti ako at babati na rin sana nang iwasan niya ang tingin ko na para bang hindi ako nakita bago nagpatuloy sa paglakad.

"Ivy!" I called, but she didn't look at me.

Sinubukan kong habulin siya at hinawakan sa braso pero iwinasiwas niya iyon. My smile faded when I saw her seething eyes. I couldn't recognize the same brightness of light years ago in those set of dark brown eyes any longer.

"Ivy, right? Do you still remember me? I'm Izzy! We were classmates from senior—"

"I'm not Ivy, and I don't know you. Excuse me," she dismissed and again averted her eyes.

Hindi na ako nagpumilit. Pinagmasdan ko ang likuran niya hanggang sa tuluyan na silang lumiko sa isang pasilyo.

Hindi naman ako ganoon kaulyanin para hindi matandaan ang mga mukha ng kaklase ko lalo na ang mga naging malapit kong kaibigan. I'm sure that it was Ivy, but I don't understand why she couldn't remember me and said that it wasn't her. Kung hindi niya ako kilala, bakit siya natigilan noong nagtagpo ang mga mata namin? Bakit parang galit siya noong tinawag ko siya sa pangalan niya at nagpakilala ako?

I was still thinking about it until I realized I was standing in front of Axe's passenger seat door. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ko at nakahawak sa pintuan pero hindi pa tuluyang binubuksan dahil ang nanunuring tingin ay nasa akin pa.

I tilted my head. He had removed his white button-down polo uniform and was now left with his white shirt tucked in his black slacks tightly hanging around his waist with a black belt.

"Aren't you going to open it?" tukoy ko sa pintuan.

Kinagat niya ang ibabang labi at yumuko. "You haven't kissed me yet..."

"Oh..." I slowly smiled and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. "Sowi po."

He finally pulled the door open and placed a hand over my head as I hopped into my seat. Mabilis naman siyang umikot sa labas para makasakay sa kabilang side.

Tuwing Friday niya lang ako nasusundo rito sa hotel dahil iyon ang araw na may pinakamaaga siyang uwi. Kapag wala siya, ginagamit ko na ang sasakyan ko dahil mas nakakapagod na talagang mag-commute kaysa mag-drive.

"How's your day?" he sweetly asked after sliding into his seat.

"It was tiring," I answered honestly, but I projected a smile. "But I'm happy to see our guests smiling and contented with our room service."

He smiled and said, "You deserve a spa service treat tomorrow, then."

I pouted. "How about yours?"

"We just had an activity in the lab. I aced most of our quizzes."

I leaned in his side to pet his head. "My baby giant is studying so well. You deserve a treat from me, too. I'm so proud of you!"

Kinagat niya ang labi, nakayuko nang kaunti at nagpipigil ng ngiti kaya humagikgik ako.

Umayos ako sa kinauupuan nang may napansin ako sa ibabaw ng dashboard. Kulay pink na box iyon kaya kinuha ko. Naka-plastic pa nga at hangul yata 'yong nakasulat. Chinese at Japanese lang naman ang napag-aralan namin noon sa Foreign Language kaya hindi pamilyar sa akin ang nakasulat.

"What's this?"

Tumingin sa akin si Axe habang sinusuot ang kanyang seatbelt.

"Ah, bigay 'yan ng isang kaklase ko kaninang uwian. He said it's a box of candies," aniya. "Sa 'yo na lang po kung gusto mo."

Inalog ko iyon bago binuksan. I was excited to see what kind of candy it was and when I lifted the lid from the case box, I immediately closed it upon reading the familiar English brand written on the first packet.

Sumulyap siya sa akin habang nagmamaneho. "You don't like it?"

"Sinong nagbigay sa 'yo nito?"

"I just said my blockmate?" patanong niyang sagot.

I held the box aloft. "This isn't a box of candies, Axe!"

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"These are condoms!"

He had no reaction at first, like for the first time in his life, he had heard something that was completely foreign and new for his big brain. After approximately ten seconds, a rose tint crawled from his ear to his neck. Ilang beses pang gumalaw ang lalamunan niya at hindi na sumulyap sa akin.

"I... I didn't know—"

"Why would he give you this, though?"

"I don't know..."

"Baka naman nagkukuwento ka tungkol sa mga ginagawa natin?"

Lalong pumula ang kanyang mukha at leeg. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung dahil pa sa hiya o irita. Ilang sandali siyang hindi nagsalita.

"We're not doing anything, Izzy. At hindi ako nagkukuwento sa iba kung may ginawa, ginagawa, o gagawin man tayo na dapat ay tayo lang ang nakakaalam," kalmado niyang pahayag. "Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ibinigay sa akin iyan at kung bakit sinabing candy kahit hindi pala. I don't even understand what's written on the box and it was still sealed when you see it right before your eyes."

My gaze drifted to his fist clutching the steering wheel.

"Why do you sound mad and defensive?" I threw the box over the dashboard. "You're gripping the steering wheel too hard that I can see your knuckles turning white."

He didn't speak. His shoulders relaxed, and he leaned his head back a little. He loosened his grip on the steering wheel, but I still got distracted by those visible purple and blue veins under the skin at the back of his hand.

Humarap siya sa akin nang nagpula ang stoplight. Umirap ako at tumingin na sa labas at balak pang humalukipkip pero naunahan niya nang hawakan ang kamay ko para dalhin sa bibig niya.

"Sorry. Hindi po ako galit. Nagpapaliwanag lang."

Ngumuso ako at hindi pa rin siya nilingon.

"Should we eat ramen before we go home?" he asked suggestively.

"I'm not in the mood to eat ramen. Sa susunod na lang."

Binawi ko ang kamay sa kanya nang nag-go signal na. I reclined my seat and snatched Baba from the backseat. Bigo ang itsura niya nang nilingon ko para sabihing matutulog muna.

"Mahal naman," tawag niya, tunog nagtatampo ilang minuto nang nakapikit ako. "Sorry na nga po. Wala talaga akong alam doon sa ibinigay niya at hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ako binigyan no'n."

"Shh. I wanna sleep, Axe. Please, let me take a break. Pagod talaga ako."

"Sorry," he whispered. "Gigisingin na lang kita kapag nasa inyo na tayo."

We were both indulged in silence. Tuluyan nga akong nakatulog habang nasa biyahe at naalimpungatan lang sa gitna ng matinding traffic.

I was completely awake when his car stopped in front of our house. Tinanggal ko ang seatbelt sa katawan at ibinalik nang maayos si Baba sa likuran bago kinuha ang bag.

I looked at him while holding the door's handle. "Gusto mong pumasok muna?"

Nakasandal siya at nasa harap lang ang blangkong tingin habang ang kaliwang kamay ay nakahawak pa rin sa manibela. Ang kanan ay nakapatong sa kanyang hita.

He sighed and tightly closed his eyes. Nang lumingon siya sa akin ay pagod siyang ngumiti.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow after your class," he informed me.

I smiled a fraction. "Okay. Drive safely. Text me when you get home."

He nodded. Humilig ako palapit sa kanya para humalik sa pisngi niya pero hindi siya gumalaw at tinitigan lang ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang nag-init ang ulo.

"I'm going to give you a kiss. Ayaw mo?" iritado kong tanong.

"N-no, uh..." he stuttered, leaning and offering his cheek to me so I could kiss him there. "I thought you're mad and..."

"Ako pa ang galit? Ikaw nga 'tong nagtaas ng boses kanina?"

"I didn't raise my voice," he countered abruptly but in a restrained tone. "You thought I was mad for explaining, and then suddenly, you gave me the cold shoulder for the whole ride. Iz..."

"Gusto ko lang magpahinga kaya hindi muna kita kinausap! Masama ba 'yon?!"

Namilog ang mga mata niya at halos mawalan ng kulay ang labi. "N-no, of course not! I'm sorry. Hindi iyon ang—"

He was trying to catch my arm, but I dodged his hand while glaring at him.

"I said I was tired, Axasiel. Alright. I don't care about that box of..." Sinulyapan ko ang dashboard. "I just really wanted to rest because I'm tired."

"Yes, I understand. I'm sorry.," marahang aniya sa nanginginig na boses at sinubukan muli akong hawakan. "Please, let's stop this argument. I don't want us to fight..."

Nang nahawakan niya ako sa braso ay saktong nabuksan ko na ang pinto.

"Gagamitin ko ang sasakyan bukas kaya huwag mo na akong sunduin."

"Izzy..."

I held my hand up and he shut his mouth defeatedly. Tuluyan ko nang binuksan ang pinto para makalabas at dumiretso sa gate. Ang tahol ni Poppy ang bumungad sa akin pagkapasok ko pa lang sa gate. He was running so fast in my direction excitedly.

"Poppy!" I smiled widely and squatted with open arms to carry him. "Did you miss Mommy?"

Patuloy siya sa pagtahol at gumalaw-galaw sa bisig ko, parang gustong kumawala. I furrowed my brows and turned my heels around. Hindi pa rin umaalis ang sasakyan ni Axasiel at mukhang siya ang tinatahulan ni Poppy. Of course, he's his Daddy. Axe was the one who adopted him last year just like what he promised.

I sighed and ambled back to the gate. Lalong nagkumahog si Poppy kaya maingat ko siyang ibinaba bago binuksan muli ang gate. Nauna pa siyang tumakbo sa paahan ni Axe na nakatayo lang sa tapat ng gate namin.

He smiled when he saw Poppy and immediately knelt down to lift him. Poppy was still a tiny dog and looked smaller now that Axe was holding him in his arms.

"He's more excited to see his daddy than his mommy," I uttered absentmindedly.

Maliit ang ngiti niya sa labi nang nilingon ako pero malungkot ang mga mata. It was a dab into my chest because I'm always trying my best not to get mad at him or hurt him like I had done before. We hadn't been in a big fight since we were also trying our best to fix a small problem before we got between the sheets.

I don't want to repeat the same mistake again thus, I don't understand myself why I got so irked all of a sudden. Hindi naman na ako madaling mairita dahil nahasa na ako sa iba't ibang klase ng tao kapag galit. Wala rin naman siyang ginawang ikagagalit ko at kung tutuusin, ako pa nga siguro ang may problema. What's wrong with me?

I invited him over for dinner, but we were still not talking much with each other. Wala pa si Ral kaya nauna na rin kaming kumain. I didn't want my parents to notice that there was an internal and undetermined conflict between Axe and me, so I decided to open up the topic about my unexpected encounter with Ivy in Fairmont.

"Ivy? 'Yong classmate mo noong senior high?" paninigurado ni Mama.

I nodded. "I lost contact with her after our graduation. I was trying to find her, but all her social media accounts were either deleted or deactivated."

"Tapos ngayong nagkita kayo, hindi ka niya nakilala at sinabing hindi siya ang Ivy na kaibigan mo noon?" si Papa.

"Opo. But... I'm really sure that it was her. Natigilan nga siya noong tinitigan ko..."

"Sino ang hindi matitigilan kapag tinitigan mo?" bulong ni Axe sa tabi ko kaya napasulyap ako sa kanya.

Papa cleared his throat. "Baka naman hindi talaga siya si Ivy? Malay mo, kakambal niya?"

"She's an only child, Pa. At kung may kakambal siya, bakit parang galit siya noong binanggit ko ang pangalan niya at tinanong kung nakikilala niya pa ba ako? She could also say that I had mistaken her identity as her twin sister, if there's an existing one."

"How sure are you, Izzy?" Mama asked. "Have you met her family before?"

Natigilan ako at nag-isip. Naalala kong nakapunta na ako sa bahay nila pero siya lang lagi ang naroon. Whenever I asked her about her parents, they were at work, she said. Technically, I could only rely on her words.

"No... but she's my closest friend back in senior high aside from Harley, Ma. Hindi naman po siguro siya magsisinungaling tungkol sa pamilya niya, hindi ba? Hindi rin naman niya kailangang magsinungaling sa akin tungkol doon."

Binitiwan ni Mama ang hawak na kubyertos at mataman akong tiningnan.

"Izzy, just because you are her close friend doesn't mean she's incapable of lying to you. Maybe she was telling the truth about her family, maybe not. If she did, we don't have the right to judge her at once without knowing the reason why. Remember: behind a lie is someone we want to protect. It could be our own self or anyone close to our heart. That's why white lies exist."

I stared at her while absorbing her pearls of wisdom. Si Papa na papasubo kanina sa kanyang pagkain ay natigilan din at nabitiwan na lang ang kubyertos bago dahan-dahang pumalakpak. Akala mo ay laging namamangha sa sinasabi ni Mama.

Mama winked at him. Papa was really the type of person who would always make deep talks lighter in any discussion. Kung hindi siya 'yong magpapagaan ng usapan, siya naman 'yong galit. The former was a better choice.

"I'm not gonna be mad if she's lying about her family or not. And I'm not going to dig deeper about it unless she tells me," I finally said. "I just wanna converse with her again. Mag-aapat na taon din kaming hindi nagkita at nagkausap."

"Baka ayaw ka na niyang maging kaibigan?" si Papa kaya agad kinurot ni Mama sa braso. "Oh, bakit? Hindi naman malabo 'yon, ah?"

"Bakit naman ayaw niya na akong maging kaibigan?"

"Aba, ewan ko sa inyo. Kayo naman ang magkaibigan. Malay ba namin—ah! Isha naman kung makakurot, may kasamang baon ng kuko!" reklamo ni Papa at hinimas ang braso nyang kinawawa.

"What if..." Axasiel interjected, so we all turned our heads to him.

"Ay, gusto ko 'yan," ani Papa at umayos sa kinauupuan. "Sige, Axe, ituloy mo 'yang sasabihin mo, dali. Mukhang mas may sense ka naman kaysa sa akin."

Matalim kong tiningnan si Papa na nakangisi lang habang nag-aabang ng sasabihin ni Axe sa tabi ko. Ibinalik ko ang mga mata kay Axe at naabutan siyang nakatingin kay Mama.

"Like what Tita Isha said, we lie through gritted teeth to protect someone, and we can bend the truth even to our closest friend." Tumikhim siya at ibinaling na ang mga mata sa akin. "What if she's really lying? Not about her family, though, but about not recognizing you and denying that she's not the Ivy you know because she wants to protect someone?"

My lips went ajar. He was really listening to our discussion, huh? He thinks logically and critically fast and creates a reasonable point within a short period of time.

I recalled her expression when I ran into her. Was it anger that I saw in her eyes, or did I get it all wrong?

Mama snapped her fingers quickly. "You have a good point. Why didn't I think of it sooner?" Then she turned to me. "Paano nga kung siya talaga si Ivy at nagsisinungaling lang siya tungkol sa sinabi niya kaninang nagkita kayo?"

"E 'di mag-o-overthink lalo 'yang anak mo," singit ni Papa.

Well, although he said it as a joke, he still had a point.

"She was with someone earlier. He looked even older than Papa, but I don't think he was her father."

"Baka lolo o tito?" si Papa ulit. "Subukan mong i-search kung may social media siya ulit. O kaya itanong mo sa mga kasamahan mo sa hotel kung may contact sila."

Mama hissed. "Bawal i-disclose ang kahit anong impormasyon ng guest sa ibang tao, Third, maliban kung subjected to crime ang taong iyon. There's still a process regarding that situation, though, since hotels have different policies."

"Kahit nagtatrabaho si Izzy roon?"

Mama looked at him grimly. "Why? Do you give out your employees' personal contact information to other employees regardless of the grounds?"

Umiling si Papa. Tumango si Mama at hindi na nagsalita, inaasahang nakuha na ni Papa ang ipinupunto niya.

Nang natapos kaming kumain ay ako na ang nagpresintang mag-urong kaya pumunta na sa sala sina Mama at Papa. Axe was left with me in the kitchen and waited for Poppy to finish eating his food.

I shifted my eyes from him to the sink when he looked up from watching Poppy devouring his food. Binuksan ko ang gripo at nagsimula nang magbanlaw nang narinig ko ang pag-urong ng upuan.

My back straightened when he came over and stood a foot away from me, leaning on the island sink. Sa gilid ng mata ko lang siya pinagmamasdan dahil kinakabahan. He was just standing there.

"Mahal."

"Hmm?" Napatingin naman ako.

His lips twitched in a quick, amused smile.

"Mahal na po ang singil ngayon sa tubig."

Uminit ang pisngi ko at ibinalik ang tingin sa lababo na nilulunod na masyado ang ilang pinggan kaya pinatay ko na ang tubig.

"Mahal..." malambing niyang banggit ulit.

"I'm not gonna fall for that again," mataray kong sinabi, pinipigilang ngumiti na.

"Kita."

Goodness, I'm so hopeless and helpless. Parang kanina lang ay nagtatalo kami sa hindi siguradong dahilan pero ngayon...

Bahagya siyang humalakhak at inisang hakbang lang ang pagitan naming dalawa. He collected my unkempt hair with his hands and hoisted it.

"I don't have my scrunchie," sabi ko.

"I know. You should know by now that I always bring extra hair ties cause you often misplace yours," he softly said. "I like tying your hair."

My heart sank at his last words. I remember him telling me that tying my hair reminds me of his late sister who always asked him to tie her hair when she was still alive.

"Izzy," tawag niya nang matapos akong talian ng buhok.

I glanced at him over my shoulder and found him staring down at me with his eyes in blue. Umawang ang labi niya at ipinasada ang dila roon habang hinahawi ng daliri ang maliliit na buhok sa aking noo.

"I hope you won't get mad if I tell you that I will only love you until tomorrow."

Kumunot ang noo ko at bumagsak ang balikat. Ipinagpag ko ang kamay at hinarap na siya. Bahagya pa siyang lumayo para bigyan ako ng space at hindi tuluyang dumikit sa kanya.

"So pagkatapos bukas, hindi mo na ako mahal, ganoon? Dahil lang sa pinag-awayan natin?"

"Yes."

Halos mag-usok ang tainga ko at nagbabadya na ang luha sa mga mata ko. What? Is he serious right now?

He smiled, totally ignoring the fact that I was on the verge of crying and begging but still containing myself not to burst.

"Loving you is the only thing I can delay until tomorrow." He sighed. "Thankfully, tomorrow doesn't end."

Umatras bigla ang luha ko. Ha? Wait...

Tumikom ang bibig ko nang umatras siya nang tuluyan habang naglalaro ang nakatutunaw na ngiti sa labi. Poppy barked so his attention shifted to our baby.

"Expect your friend's complete contact information before this night ends. Stop overthinking about her for now and start thinking of me, Eleftheria Isra."