• Melody •

• Melody & Cooper
Home studio •

* Dear Diary:

Date: April 25, 2022

It was complicated not to think about
Him......

The way he smells, his touches, his lips, his body, his voice, the energy he brought, the feelings that
Escalated any time we was in
A room together.

The music for him was about to take off and I could feel it, But when it do will I be still the topic on his mind?

Will I still be that girl he saw the first day in the studio?

The voice he once heard in his ear for the first time?

Diary each day is not promise but what if I'm afraid of getting into a relationship with him and when the fame comes i fade into his background.

Will I still be his girl?

Not sure yet but I want him bad just as bad as he wants me

So why can't I let him in

My past always hunts me, but I know in my heart his nothing like....

THEM.

Diary closed *

The evening breeze came pressing through the window screen as I was adding some more touches to a new song I finished recording.

As I was getting prepared for me and autumn's duet together in walked the one person that I was hoping to see.

" cooper, sorry I was just in a mood to record. I'll leave to give you some space"

He lifted his hand as I stop what I was doing.

" you don't have to leave. I'm actually here because I owe you an apology for how I reacted the other day"

Seeing that he wasn't here to fight I gentle placed my notebook, and pen back down on the table.

He took a sit on the couch and I walked over to take the next empty spot.

" I know I overreacted about the decision that you wanted to do, but your my baby sister and I don't want to see you hurt again" he explain.

" when we left from our home and found this small town I just knew that things would be different and it has, but when you told me about meeting this guy everything that we ran from had just resurfaced back and I lost it so please forgive me for being such an asshole"

I smile before placing my hand on his shoulder.

I watch my bother cover his face as he always do whenever he gets emotional.

He always tried to be the stronger one and at times it was okay to cry.

" I knew you would have came around eventually. that's why I don't try to fight you on situation."

He giggle before a sniffle came afterwards.

" thank you for protecting me all these years. Beside you have another person to protect now"

" yeah? Who?" He said looking at me with his red face.

" autumn"

He smack his lips before leaning back on the couch.

" yeah about that. She's a handful but I love her to death."

" I know you do, and tell her that we can still do that duet later on tonight if she likes" I mentioned.

" yeah will do."

He stood to his feet and I did the same.

" oh yeah before I forget I feel like if you really like him than tell him. Don't wait till it's too late. Also tell him about why you really got into music."

My eyes widen before I shook my head with a hard no coming after.

" cooper why would you even say such a thing?"

I then push his chest making him tumble back a bit.

" Melody if your going to go down this road, down the same path mom took, and if he the one that I hear you talk about with autumn then he will understand. You want him to know the real you? Huh? then that's how you'll really see if he's here for you or just to use you to get what he wants"

I kept my tears from showing before brushing pass cooper without saying another word.

" Mel....mel" he shouted out as I left him standing by himself.

On my way up the steps autumn was coming down but I had no time to talked to her either.

" whoa mel where you running off too?" She asked curiously.

Ignoring her question I continue up the stairs until I was back in the kitchen and then I headed straight for my room.

Closing the door behind me I paced the floor as I tried to get my mind right.

Was Shang the person that I really wanted to be with? The one that i was willing to tell my past too?

Flopping down on my bed I had all night to think about everything but only one shot to get the guy.

Picking up my phone my fingers tremble as I dialed his number.

Holding it up to my ear I exhale a deep breath as I waited for him to pick up on the other end.

After the fifth ring I hung the call up tossing the cell phone behind me.

It bounce onto my pillow and I stood up to get my mind off what just happened.

Opening up my window so that the night sky can come through allowing the stars and the moonlight to shine I walked over to the mirror and just stared.

Stared at the women that I've become, staring at the survivor that I was, staring at the women who made it out my hard times, staring at any negative that thought would have had me but it didn't.

I was unstoppable in my life, and no one was going to take that away from me.

I wanted more so that was what I was going to aim for now.

Forget about being so nervous and afraid to do things I wanted the life that I've be dreaming of since I was a teenager.

As I continue to stare at myself with motivational words I could hear my phone buzzing from a distance.

I gasp before turning around to face the bed.

Moments later I walked over before the call stop.

Seconds later the incoming call came through again and as I lean over it was Shang.

Feeling my heart sink down into my stomach I swallow the lump that was in the back of my throat, picked up the phone and accepted the call.

- Hello? I said.

Shang: hey you called? Sorry I missed it I was uploading you know the video.

- oh yeah, it turned out really well. I mean we was definitely amazing.

Shang: " laughs".... yeah we was. So how can I help you on this fine cool night?

I paused for a while as I try to get my thoughts together.

Then I remember what I really wanted and what I was just telling myself in the mirror.

Here goes nothing.

- Shang I like you. Like a lot and I know we know each other for a month now and our relationship grew increasingly along with the music but I want you.

Shang: wow that's something that I wasn't expecting to hear from you. Why the change of heart all of sudden?

- that part is complicated a bit, but you are right. I know what I want and what I want is you. I just need to talk face to face maybe at a park or on a hill have a little picnic or something to explain why I don't want to let you go. I want whatever this is.

Shang: wow.

- you have to say more than just that. Gosh I feel so stupid now.

I then smack my forehead before falling back on my bed.

He sigh before speaking again.

Shang: no Mel your definitely not stupid not at all. It's just earlier today you wanted no parts of any relationship that I wanted to have with you, and now you have a change of mind.. I mean don't get me wrong I love that your finally opening up to me but...

- can we just meet please. Tomorrow I don't care what time I just need to see you...please

I begged and I normally don't beg for anything or for anyone before.

Is this what getting feelings for someone would feel like?

If so then its a curse and would have you doing some crazy things.

Shang: sure I have another session with my team tomorrow morning,but when I'm done we can met at hillside pond. How's that sound?

- it's sound wonderful goodnight

Shang- goodnight melody

- Call ended -

I felt a lot better knowing that I got this feeling off of my chest.

Grabbing my towel I headed towards the bathroom to take a nice shower and off to bed before my talk with Shang tomorrow.

I might not have been ready then, but I was ready now to tell my story behind why music makes me feel safe.

Who I was sharing my story with was a person I saw myself with until the end of time.