• Shang •

• December 24, 2022 •

• Christmas Eve •

The sun was shining bright on the two of us.

I decided to take Wynter to the park so that she could play around a bit and run some of that energy out.

I was almost done with the whole Christmas shopping thing.

It was definitely different this go around as I was now buying for a one year old.

Luckily she was a girl and the stores has everything for little girls.

So it made my job a whole lot easier.

Plus I had autumn tagging along with me.

Melody was unfortunately omitted in the hospital for a massive seizure that caused her to literally stop breathing this time.

It scared the shit out of me and every since then it's been a bit wild for me.

I knew this day was coming no matter how prepared I was, I still wasn't coping with it well.

I hated crying myself to sleep knowing that I would not ever have her In my bed again.

Seeing her face as those blue eye staring into mines every morning when I wake up.

Her feet kicking me In my back just so she could become comfortable.

I was going to miss it all.

The scent that was always underneath my nose every night and day will no longer be there.

The doctors told me that since she's no longer able to walk and her body is shutting down that she'll be in the hospital for the remainder of her days.

I wasn't ready for the single dad life just yet. I wasn't ready to be raising Wynter without a mother just when she was getting to bond with her.

My heart was so exhausted and I was out of tears at this point.

Their was time where Wynter would cry so hard and so long every night because of her not being able to sleep underneath the scent of her mother.

The only thing that ever seemed to work was her music.

But the one song that seems to calm her down every time I put it on and even me was

Dreaming of you.

I even bought her a projector and install it into Wynter room so that I could just play videos of melody or her songs and it would ease her little mind.

Since melody been away I've be having the help from autumn or even kae step in a lot more.

She had her own things to worry about, but I wasn't not going to accept the help from a women who kinda knows more about what goes on in a child's mind

A girl mind at that.

I rested my head In my fist as I smile each time Wynter ran underneath the slide than gives me a wave.

I guess that was her version of playing peek a boo.

Recently I got in contact with my grandfather as to wanting him to created a masterpiece so that when I go visit melody i would be able to present it to her.

Until then I got off my ass and walk over so that I could play with my little angel.

2 hours later......

I was pulling up into autumn and copper home as I had some errands to run.

Wynter was sound asleep as she did what I was hoping for her to do.

Not even able to get out the vehicle yet autumn was Already walking down the front porch and over toward the car.

" Oouu you brought auntie stinka butt by" she said while walking over to the backseat .

" hold up I haven't even unbuckle her or did much of anything I literally just pulled up" I said with a bit of irritation.

Looking up cooper was standing by the door.

We still wasn't quit seeing eye to eye but for the sake of melody and now him being an uncle to our child he was slowly starting to come around.

He shot his head up as a sign of wassup and I did one in returned.

" damn y'all still not talking?" Autumn whisper while grabbing Wynter into her arms.

I lean inside the car to retrieve her backpack and her cup.

" I really don't have time for any of nobody shit alright. I have a dying fiancée and on top of that I'm about to be a single parent to a wonderful child that melody will never see again. So forgive me if I'm not kissing his ass for him to accept me as his brother in law, I'm over everyone bullshit at this point" I ranted.

" sheesh, I wasn't trying to upset you or anything I was just wondering, I couldn't help but to notice the slight tension between the two of you still"

" yo autumn come on bring my niece inside so I can finish cooking" cooper yelled out from the porch.

Exhaling out loud to keep from snapping and whooping some ass I just bit my tongue and walked back towards the driver seat.

" next time I'm taking Wynter to her aunt Ashanti."

Autumn smack her lips before the sounds of wynter babbling cut me off guard.

" wassup daddy little girl, I have to go run some errands but I'll be back to grab you okay"

She started jumping up and down in her arms before calling out my name.

Only if she would have learned mama first.

Kissing Wynter on her head, I gave autumn her items before getting into the vehicle.

I waited for them both to get inside the house and cooper did not hesitate to closed the door shut.

Backing out the driveway I was now on my way to meet my grandfather.

Let's hope what he comes up with will be the most perfect gift for my baby.

• Later that evening •

I exited out the car as I was now at my destination.

I took noticed of my grandfather truck already parked In front of the building so I knew he was already inside.

Shoving my keys into my pockets I headed into the building as I greeted some of people who was also inside .

The studio is not normally packed like this especially on Christmas Eve, you would think they'll be home wrapping up gifts.

Hell that's what I should be doing myself but I had all night to get wynter gifts wrapped and prepared to be place underneath the tree.

" how can I help you sir?" One of the man's who was guarding the red door spoke.

" uh yeah I'm here to see E" I responded.

I say it was at least a good twenty minutes for a search down before I was able to show ID.

This wasn't no ordinary studio, this was like one of the top highest rated studios any celebrities could ever record in.

This building was worth millions and the fun fact of it all was that my grandfather was the owner.

He had all kind of high profiled celebrities to come inside his studio and lay down some incredible music.

Once the guard took a hold of my ID a strict and narrow look on his face turn into a more of a nice to see you look.

" oh why didn't you tell me that you was the grandson of E, if I would have known that I wouldn't have let you go through all that searching and shit"

I laughed while brushing it off.

" it's no biggie can I.." I said pointing at the door

" yeah sure got right on in" he said moving to the side.

Clearing my itchy throat, I open the red door and walk into where the real magic happens.

Looking around I saw nothing but young women handling paperwork and some guys polishing and making sure the the booths was spotless.

My grandfather was pretty damn smooth I'll give him that.

Still looking for him a loud whistle caught my attention.

Looking over to the left of me he was sitting with a cigar in one hand and a wine cup in the other.

Walking over I couldn't do nothing but grin.

" I see nothing has change with you" i laughed

" you should have known that, But how are really?" He asked.

" I would say that I'm fine and been doing good but then I'll just be lying to myself and what good is that?... so I been stressed, drained, lost, hopeless, angry, confused, frustrated at the way things are turning out for me. This wasn't what I planned to spend my life with the women of my dreams. What's the whole point of being with someone that you deeply are in love with just to have them strip away from you over a rare disease that only allows the body to live up to six months, hell I need more than just six months with my lifeline, with my partner, my fiancée, my soon to have been wife it's hurting me badly. I adopted a wonderful little girl and now she's about to grow up without a mother and it's killing me and I'm just so mad yo like this shit is really eating at me." I cried out

I just drop on the couch next to him as he rubbed my shoulders.

" son it's going to be alright. God wouldn't have put you in this situation if he didn't feel like you couldn't handle it. Your are the most smartest and strongest man that your mother could have raised and you will not be defeated by this you hear me. Yes melody will no longer be with you but when that time comes you just have to continue to be there for that Precious little girl. She needs her father and you will be there for her."

" I wish mama was here, she would have known how to handle situation like this. I even started putting my music on hold because if I wasn't with wynter then I was leaving her with her uncle or aunt just so that I could spend some time with Mel and damnit if that's not hard when she could barely get words out, they would be days where she couldn't even speak back to me. It's just not fair why can't I have it all? The family, the perfect wife, the career with her in it, the life with her in it?"

" I don't know Shang. What I do know is that you have all of that and more, you can still have everything that you want in this world even if that means not having the women of your life being apart of it"

I continue to listen to my grandfather speak to me and I still was just deep in my feelings.

He was making sense like always but when I fought so hard for melody to be back into my life just for her to leave me alone for good this time it's heartbreaking.

That pill will never be easy to swallow.

" here take a listen to this. I looked over that song that you wrote and I can't lie it made me tear up i wasn't expecting to get that emotional but um I covered it and when you ready to have a listen then it's ready for you. Once we done and you like the project we can finalize it and when your ready to perform this song to her you'll be ready."

I couldn't thank my grandfather enough for taking the time out of his schedule to do this for me.

My voice was too shaky for me to do anything and I wasn't quit ready to get back into the music either.

" you named it?" I asked.

He looked over at me before shaking his head.

" son all I did was sing it for you. I will leave the title for you to pick for your fiancée."

Nodding my head I was ready to hear what the song sounded like.

I hope it wasn't going to have me crying but I felt like it was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

Hours later......

I never In my life went through three full boxes of clínex before and I found myself Doing it.

The song was amazing and it touched my heart in so many ways.

I knew that it would touch melody's as well when she hears it.

Just as we finish up the small touches and I finally came up with the name my phone started to buzz.

I was kinda hoping it was autumn because I was really in need of having my baby girl back and she likes to hold her hostage.

Missing the first, and the second call. I started to gather my things.

" thank you so much for taking the time out to do this for me I couldn't have ask for a better way to surprise my fiancée then with this gift"

" it's no problem at all Shang that's what I'm here for and I will keep her in my prayers for nothing but the best. I wish you also nothing but the best after what may comes next for you and the little one"

" right" I said in defeat

While standing to my feet my phone started to go off again.

This time I picked it up.

Me: hello autumn i told you I'm like twenty minutes out..."

Doctor March- no I'm sorry Shang it's actually doctor March.

My heart sunk straight to the floor as I wasn't sure how this conversation was about to go.

I never was expecting her doctor to call me this late at night so I knew it was bad news.

Me: just tell me doc what's going on with my baby?

Doc March- I'm afraid to tell you this but her condition has worsen and I'm not certain that she may make it past the end of the week. I'm so sorry to be given you this....

Me: when can I come see her?, you no what never mind I'm on my way now

- Call ended -

I wasn't trying to cut the doctor off but I didn't want to hear all the " im sorry" right now. I needed to be there for melody.

I didn't even have to say a word to my grandfather as he already knew what was going on.

As I was headed to the car I was sending out text messages to everyone letting them know the horrific news that I just received.

The day that I've been trying so hard to avoid was finally coming closer then I was expecting.

I knew she only had a few more days in this month but damn did it fly by.

My fingers was started to tremble so badly that I had to call up Andre to come and grab me from the studio.

I eventually texted my mangers letting them know that the tour was on for hold right now as I just received unexpected news not to long ago.

My entire world was spinning right now.

I didn't like this feeling, I didn't like this feeling at all.