• Melody •

I was officially Mrs Marsh!!!!

Well the fiancée of Shang marsh but it still was feeling all so unreal.

Today marks down another month for me and I was in my last three months.

Could you believe it? Neither could I.

I've started opening up a bit more with doctor March on everything that's she's been trying to tell me and get me prepared for.

To be honest I wasn't as scared anymore as I was before but the fear of still not being around with my fiancé or my brother and autumn was killing me even slowly.

My condition of course haven't been looking to great as there would be times where I was to weak to even get out of bed.

The bathroom would seem to be the only area that I was able to make it to with the aching of pain that would go through every bone in my body.

Shang also recently install an elevator for me so that I wouldn't have to use much energy from walking up and down the stairs.

Every since I told him the news his been Around a whole lot more with me and being the man that I fell in love with the first time I saw him.

I recently found out that his tour was also three months and how much time he has invested into it I wouldn't won't him to give up that opportunity, and the money.

Of course we had a little disagreement with that conversation and I knew why.

I just never like to see him worry about me as much as he's been doing lately.

He barely be in the studio or practicing for his music videos, or concerts because his taking care of me 247.

That's one thing I don't won't Shang to do is give up on what he enjoys doing over me who I won't even be able to see him when the time come .

He doesn't like hearing that when I say those things to him.

I watch as it gets him upset, but it's the truth.

Having the place to myself felt very lonely as Shane went out to get breakfast.

With nothing else to do beside watch tv and eat up snacks, I was feeling the urge to tap back into music.

It's been a little minute as there would be times where I run out of breath just by trying to hit a note or two.

Frustrated was an understatement, but I just tried to keep pushing myself.

Leaning over to grab my song book a commercial came on that I would have never thought to even look at.

My eyes was glowing at the sight of it.

My lips spread into a big smile as my fingers trailed down toward my exposed stomach.

What if we started our own family? I thought to myself.

Our little ones carrying both of our legacy into the next generation.

As I rub my stomach the slightest worry about me being able to not carry kids due to my illness was out of my head.

I only wanted to think positive about everything that I do now and this was one of them.

Our wedding would most likely be next year so why not start planning for a baby as well.

I know it's a risk considering that I have a limit on my life but what if a change happen with my body that allows me to see another year or two or even ten.

I wasn't about to hold back on the things that I still wanted to accomplish.

Grabbing my phone I quickly dialed Shang number but as i did the sound of the front door alarm was going off.

Not wanting to waste any time, I covered myself with my robe carefully exited out of bed and headed to the door.

Once I was there I took my time in the hallway as I walked to the elevator.

As I pressed the button I could hear Shang singing from downstairs.

Voice of an angel.

" baby I brought the food" he yelled out.

" I'll be right down" I said as the doors finally open up.

" alright, make sure you use the elevator"

Waiting for the doors to closed I pressed for the second floor and took a seat down in the chair these was also built for me.

Shang didn't like when I was on my feet for too long even that would cause me so much problem.

But yet he still wants to be with me.

Now that's real love.

Through sickness and health.

As the doors open up the sight of downstairs was now my new scenery.

Placing my hands onto the rods I carefully push myself up and out the chair and slowly walk from out the elevator.

Shang glance over his shoulder for a split second before turning back around to finish setting up our plates.

" good morning baby" he spoke

Taking one of the island chairs to sit in, I place my hands inside my lap as I watch him work his way through the kitchen.

" good morning my handsome fiancé"

He giggle while twirling on his heels this time I busted into laughter.

Shang was covered with whipped cream all over his face with blueberries sticking to his cheeks.

I was so red in the face and I knew it.

" your what? I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that last part" he said with a funny face and voice.

Covering my mouth as I could feel my snorkels coming soon he rushed to my side before slamming his body into mines.

" oh my gosh no don't get me sticky" I squeal

Feeling his arms wrap around my waist he disobey everything that I just told him as he shoved his covered face into my neck.

" I'm sorry baby I just love you and wanted to make you smile this morning oh and also laugh"

Now facing him in his eyes I took my finger, slide it across his face, and taking the messed up whipped cream into my mouth.

" mmm" I said

He laughed before crashing his lips on mines.

After our cute little playtime was over he clean up and walk back over to grab our plates.

I slid the other chair next to me back allowing Shang to have a seat.

Once he did and we started eating I was excited to tell him what I really had in mind.

I'm just hoping he is feeling the same way with this conversation.

" so I couldn't help but noticed a small smile from you earlier"

" really? When?" I asked

" coming off the elevator when I glance back at you what was that about?"

Placing my fork down I was nervous but ready at the same time to tell him what I've been thinking about.

How delicious and how good this food was smelling I knew it was now or never with this talk.

" please don't be confused or not on board with what I'm about to tell you" I started it off.

He scrunch his brows before they eventually relaxed after inserting a piece of waffle into his mouth.

" what's going on?" He said concern.

" so earlier today when I was eating snacks after taking my meds, I couldn't help but to stumble on a commercial"

Taking another piece of waffle into his mouth he still looked interested.

" mmk, what about it?, where's there something exciting about the commercial?"

" you can say that, it was commercial of babies. They was so cute and adorable, and with all that It going to be going through and I know you have your career that's been keeping you very busy and wouldn't really have time for any kids and I don't even know why I even...."

Shane cut me off by his lips locking on me.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I push in to accept all of his love and before I knew it I was standing up lean over on him as he remain seated.

His hand carefully grip the lower part of my back as he tug gently on my lips while pulling away.

" melody, If your asking to carry my child then the answer is fucking YES!"

" really?" I said with so much energy that my legs almost gave out.

He help me sit back down before laughing.

" look at you, already bout to hurt yourself before we can even get started"

I chuckled at his stupidity, while taking a bite out of the breakfast.

" but really mel all jokes aside I would be honored to give you a child, we would make the most wonderful and loving parents to whatever bundle of joy that your body give us. I told you I was in this and with you as my fiancée, whatever my fiancée wants she gets"

Not even in the mood to finish up any of this food I tugged on Shang arm while standing back up.

" what are you doing? He asked now standing to his feet.

" we are about to go make love until I'm pregnant" I said

He heightened a brow as I could see the bulge busted through his pants.

" well let's go then I was in need of taking these clothes off"

He swept me off my feet in a bridal position as we was walking into the elevator and back up to the room for the rest of the day

And all night.

• The Next Day •

• Visit to see
DoctorMarch •

" melody im so sorry to bring you this barrier of bad news, but due to your illness and the amount of pressure that baby could do especially with your body breaking down and getting weaker at times you would not be able to carry children"

Just like that a train just ran right through my heart.

Leaving nothing in its path.

How dare she tell me the most devastating news that I could have possibly hear today.

The amount of angry that I was feeling, the amount of hurt, and pain that was started to takeover my body was unbearable.

The one thing that I promise to my fiancé that he would have, now turn into him not never being able to get it.

How could my body just do this to someone.

Why would my body not reproduce the one thing that would have kept me going and happy during the most difficult and stressful time.

Why would it just give up on me like that?.

" that's not right, thats not fair I been doing what I was suppose to be doing far as my medicine go, and taking good care of myself for this type of thing...." I cried out

" melody i understand believe me I do..."

" do you have any children doctor?" I cut her off now upset

She paused for a moment before exhaling out deeply.

" do you?" I asked once more.

" I have two"

" girl or boy?"

" melody i don't see where this is going?"

" just answer the question"

Doctor March place the clipboard down while removing her glasses.

" a girl and a boy both are 6 their twins" she said.

My tears poured down my face as I could feel my body trying to ache.

" exactly. So no you won't be able to understand any of this. You won't be able to understand what I have to go through, what my fiancé is going to think about me when he finds out that I can't even carry children in this stupid body"

I began punching at my stomach angrily before doctor March rush to my side embracing me into a hug.

" melody your perfect, granted yes you are dealing with the most rarest illness that's very unfortunate but don't ever feel as if you can't still be a mother. You may not be able to carry children of your own, but with Shang Sperm and the right surrogate you can still have that family that you both are wanting"

She allows me to just break down. It's was quiet No talking just emotion taking over the room.

My purpose for even doing anything within the little time I had left was starting to die down.

My energy for anything exciting was fading away.

The one thing that I couldn't provide for my fiancé is the one thing that I knew would have brought me happiness.

Now everything is just stripping away from me.

I'm losing this battle before I can even make it to the finish line.

I knew this conversation with Shang tonight when I get home was going to be hard.

" could I just lay here for a while, I really can't face him right now or anyone in that matter." I whisper through my cries.

" of course melody your welcome to spend the night if you want, but if you need anything just ring that bell beside you"

Nodding my head, I gently curled my weak small body into a ball as I continue to ball my eyes out on the pillow.

My mind set was starting to sink in places where I shouldn't be going.

I was getting scared, but what did I really have to live for?

My brother hates my guts, I can't give Shang what he wants, autumn's music starting to rise and she's going to eventually go her own way, me and my sister still haven't made amends, I don't have neither one of my parents, and then it leaves me.

Alone and afraid.

So again, what do I have to live for that would bring me what I want in this world, and what I want

Is longevity, a husband, a family, love, and happiness.

For all eternity.