• Shang •

• M.A.C •

• Music Awards Ceremony •

I found myself gulping down my second bottle of water as I was up next to perform.

We was already an hour into the awards and everyone who won deserve it.

Including melody.

My category for favorite r&b artist wasn't up yet.

Instead it was getting announced after my performance.

How nerve wrecking is that?.

I allowed my team to get me all fix up and ready for set as I got some practice in.

Even though me an karrueche had called it quits I was surprised that she wanted to join me for this experience.

We finally came to an agreement that we are better apart, but would always be in each others lives for support.

So this is what this was, her coming out to support me.

Just as I secure my earpiece to my ear her scent of perfume swept pass my nose.

I only turn my head off my shoulders, just to get a quick look as I was about to go on stage.

" hey" she started off

" wassup"

I then turn my head to where I glared at her through the mirror.

She pulled some hair strands behind her ears as she walked inside the dressing room a bit further.

" I just wanted to tell you good luck out there and I'll be waving and cheering you on from my chair"

I nodded my head as a sign of thank you before turning around to now face her.

My body than lean against the table, as I crossed my arms.

"Earlier what was that whole kiss about?" I question.

" what?" She giggle but I could tell she was caught off guard by the question.

" kae don't play dumb alright, I really don't want to fight"

" and I don't either Shang. So again what do you mean by your question?" She snap with sass, and a neck roll.

I exhale out loud while shifted my weight to the other side.

" you know that we are over, but yet when you see me staring at melody you purposely grab my chin, had me face you, so that we could kiss, why?"'

She sucked her teeth while throwing her shoulders up then back down.

" I don't know. I guess I just wanted to feel your lips again. I admit it, I miss you and seeing you stare at her.. I.. i guess I got kinda jealous. Plus the fans don't know about our break up so I had to make it look real"

All I could do was just Shake my head.

Not even attempting to respond back to her explanation, Andre gave me the cue that it was time.

Grabbing my microphone, my walking came to a halt as her soft hands touch my arms.

" kae I have to go.."

" I know, but I feel that we could try to rebuild this, I thought that I was making the best decision in my life, but truth is I need you more than I thought I did"

I really wasn't ready to hear this right now. Especially when it's coming from the one person who didn't want nothing else's to do with me.

Cuffing her cheek she closed her eyes and then I let go.

She prop back up looking at me with her big brown eyes and confused.

" i can't lie I will miss what we did have, and the good times that we share, but we made our decision back when we wasn't fit to be together. So, this is my last goodbye, and I hope that you can find that special one that your destined to have because I know I did"

" Shang." She pleaded

" you was right. You was to much women for me at the time and I was a complete fool to not have seen it, but I've change, I've grown to be the best man that I can be and I'm a man who knows what he wants, who he see a future with, and was stupid to realize that I had a good thing who was standing in front of me all along. Unfortunately kae it's not us."

After making my point, my face was sizzling from the slap that I received from her.

Shaking it off I could hear my name getting introduced and I left her standing, with watery eyes and a broken heart.

" I'm sorry" I said now leaving her behind me.

• The Performance •

Song: KAE & MELODY
By: Shang Marsh

( also it's up in the media⬆️ )

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

The crowd cheered my name out loud.

The flashing lights started to appear as I looked out into the crowd.

I smiled as they was showing so much love.

Looking back at the the drummer, and the rest of the band I gave them a nod as I turn around, cuffing my hand on the mic.

As the music came in I began to sing each lyric.

~

Every time, every time you tell me you gon' change
You're never right, it's probably best we go our separate ways
If you look in my eyes, you gotta know it's true
Told me a million lies but I still try to make due
Baby, I gave you time and always more
Baby, you got what you want and now I'm paying for it
Oh, you're supposed to love, with a love that's official
Talking all that shit gonna make me fuck around and go missing, oh
And don't try to make up 'cause I'm fine
'Cause you're a stranger in my eyes
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Stranger in my eyes
Oh-oh-oh-oh

~

I decided to perform this song that I wrote for the both of the women that I loved and the other I treated like shit in my life.

I was man enough to involve them in my life with all the flaws that came with being with me, and turns out I wasn't able to hold on to either one of them.

So, with the good and the bad experience that I had with both these women, I decided to created a song from what it would be like from their perspective.

For one of them, I cheated on multiple times thinking that I was doing what celebrities was meant to do and that was enjoy the ride.

I had many people in my ear about how relationships doesn't last long in this industry, and with all the temptations that I've came upon, it proved that they was right.

So, to the one women that I loved deeply, and saw us to the end was no longer in my corner.

For the other one, I was a complete asshole and deserve some of the shit that happen to me.

Our relationship was good but I was very physically with her and I knew it was wrong. I allowed the alcohol to consume my body to many times, and in the results of it all, It had me putting my hands on a person that I was suppose to protect, adore, and cherish.

She always wanted to see the good inside me despite my awful ways, and how I treated every situation.

Rebuilding our relationship, on top of abuse, and toxicity was not going to work after a while, so she did what she probably thought was the best decision to have ever made

Leave me.

They both paid for all my mistakes, and now Im seeing it clear as day.

So, doing this for them was giving them the closure that they needed, and me admitting to my wrongs was the wake up call that I needed.

What better way to do that then to put on paper, and sing it for the whole world to hear, and let them in on what kind of person that I've been.

Whether they accept me after this performance or not only time will tell when it comes to an end.

I deserve everything that I've been getting.

How they was able to put up with my shit and how i became a stranger in their eyes.

Was I taking a risk for performing this song to the both of them?

If I was it was a risk that I was willing to take.

I was now so fluent with bonding with my fans and the music that anyone would have thought that my songs was about them.

But this particular song was for them.

And they knew who they was.

The phone lights started to sway back and forth as they was helping set the mood.

The more I pour my heart out in every word I sung, I glared my eyes to melody and kae.

What do you know, I had both of their attention.

Our eyes stayed connected for the entire performance.

Then I glance over in karrueche direction who was already staring down at melody.

Moments later she looked at me before wiping her watery eyes.

I drop my head after I was done and Everyone was going crazy.

I knew me telling kae how I felt and who my heart still belong too was a tuff pill to swallow but I knew it had to be done.

After my performance the show had went on a mini break.

Others had got up to take bathroom breaks and other Curriculum activities, but I remained seated to catch my breath.

Thirty minutes later everyone was retrieving back to their seats.

Noticing that karrueche wasn't back yet, I lean over to my left side to ask Steven on her whereabouts.

" yo, you seen kae? She told me she was heading to the bathroom" I question

Steven shook his head.

" nah man, the last time I see her she was heading to the front doors"

I frown my Brows " wait why?"

Before Steven could finish tyga came tapping my shoulders.

I turn around to see what he needed.

" what's good Shang, um I know this ain't my business and all, but I just saw kae talking on the phone with someone saying she wanted to go home"

" damn, alright thanks man" I said

I didn't know performing a song that I made for melody and her would have resulted to this, but at the same time we agreed on it and she was fine.

I guess she really wasn't okay with it after all.

Not having the time to run after her to see what the issue was, the category for rnb artist was getting announced.

MC Lyte ~ here are the nominee's for Favorite RnB Artist

~ giveon - lost me

~ Shang Marsh -under the influence

~ blxst - chosen

~ yung bleu - unappreciated

~ lucky daye - Over

And the award goes to......

This was the moment where everything around me grew quiet, and all I could hear was my own thoughts.

This was the moment, that I've been busting my ass for.

I been through hell and back just to make it to this moment and it was finally here.

I was on the tip of the iceberg, just waiting

Hands was shaking, and sweaty.

I no longer had karrueche by my side but good thing my team was behind me all the way.

My legs started to bounce up and down as the anticipation was getting the best of me

Then her voice filled the room.

MC Lyte - SHANG MARSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't believe my ears and what they just heard right now.

My name out of all the names had got called for this nomination.

I was beyond thrilled and everyone around me gave me a big round of applause.

Just to know that I had won my first award, and still was nominated for two more categories was astounding.

I headed up on the stage as I allowed everyone to continue to cheer for me.

My eyes looked up, and over as I saw melody applauding me with a smile.

I raised the award up in the air as I got started on my speech.

WOWWWWWW!!!!!

" what a dream come true."