A/N: Um. Filler chapter. I had to make something happen. Part of the reason I love writing, but also hate it. I have to make a bunch of stuff happen to this poor innocent-ish character so she can be the hard and calloused [spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler] that she is in the end! And I have a question: Do you all like the flashback chapters or the regular ones better?

As always...thank you for reading! Please comment/vote! :)

I knock three times, hard, on Feanor's door. He doesn't answer, but I know he is in there. "Feanor!" I call. "Feanor! Open the door!"

"No," says a muffled voice from the other side. But it doesn't sound sad or sulky; in fact, it sounds amused. I blink rapidly a few times before asking uncertainly, "Why?"

"Because I'm too happy. I would prefer to be left alone with my thoughts so I can savor this moment forever. Come back later," he answers dreamily. I roll my eyes.

"I don't know why you're so happy, but just remember that you need to pack some supplies for our trip tomorrow," I remind, turning around to begin packing myself, but freezing when I hear his reply. "Oh, is it that time already? Ah...Luinil...come back." I can sense that something is wrong. He's opened the door now, and is facing me. He's grown quite tall and he has become very handsome, a prince loved by all. It seems we both have the same thoughts about each other as his eyes widen and he says, "I just realized how beautiful you've become." I blush. "Thank you...but what were you going to say?"

"I can't go to the lake with you tomorrow, Luinil." He speaks quickly, as if saying it faster will make it hurt less. All I can do is stare as my plans for tomorrow shatter with that one sentence. Every year since we were children, Feanor and I taken a day long hike to our favorite spot: A lake near a hill, surrounded by large trees with weeping branches. At night, little glowing bugs sometimes appeared, making everything seem magical as we rowed out onto the lake. Sometimes Finarfin or Fingolfin would come, but I could tell that Feanor liked it best when it was just us. We would spen the night there, and in the morning, we would head back home, but not before climbing to the top of the huge hill and looking upon our city from afar. It's something I look forward to every year. Why has my best friend suddenly decided he can't come?

"What?" I ask in disbelief, just to make sure I've heard him right. He looks down at his feet and fidgets awkwardly. "I'm so sorry, but...I simply cannot go."

"Why?" I pester, anger fillling in my heart. Feanor is always gone, off studying of just trying to get away from Finarfin and Fingolfin. I don't understand why he dislikes them so much; they've always been great friends of mine. Since, he's hardly ever here, we never get to spend time together. He sighs and continues to stare intently at the floor...so intently that I wonder if there's something there I'm just not seeing.

"I do not feel that I must explain my reasoning to you. The point is that I will not be joining you and whomever your companions will be this year. Thank you for the offer and the reminder." With that, he closes the heavy, wooden door in my shocked face. I can't do anything but stare at the spot where his face was only a moment ago. Being afraid of love, I'd pushed Feanor away from me in the past. Was that where this sudden iciness was coming from? Have I pushed him away too much?

The walk back to my room feels like years. I want someone to talk to, but I also want to be left alone with my thoughts. Just as my hand is on the door knob, someone taps my shoulder. I didn't see them before, so I jump a little out of surprise. When I turned, my eyes fell upon a grinning Finarfin.

"Are you ready for tomorrow, Luinil?" He asks. "I'm sure we'll--what's wrong?" Noticing my countenance, he drops his smile and turns me towards him. I try to immitate his bright grin from before, but fail and end up grimacing instead. "Nothing is wrong," I lie. He knows I'm lying. We've known each other for so long that I'm practically his sister. Of course he can tell when I'm not telling the truth. His dark-blue eyes fill with concern, and he knits his eyebrows.

"What's bothering you?"

I stare into those eyes for a moment before looking away and muttering, "Feanor's not coming with us. And I'm not sure why. I only know that he was too happy today when I went to see him." I feel tears spring to my eyes as Finarfin laughs softly. Of course, he pities me too, but he looks almost amused.

"Too happy? My, Luinil! You should be glad to see him happy! It's such a change from his usual brooding self."

"But why?" I ask, a tear fallng down my cheek. I'm so confused. Finarfin doesn't laugh now. He just pulls me into his arms. I bury my face in his shoulder and golden locks that spill down from his head.

"Don't cry," he whispers softly. That doesn't help; it only causes more tears. After a few more moments of holding me, Finarfin stands back. Despite Feanor being the most physically attractive of the brothers, Finarfin had always seemed the kindest and most helpful. Being the daughter of the Dark Lord, I am more inclined to befriend someone like Feanor, but I can still appreciate Finarfin and learn to love him like a brother.

"You really are upset about this?"

I nod and say, once I've calmed down a bit, "Yes, I'm upset. It's our tradition, Finarfin. Ever since the day Finwe let us go on our own, we've gone together once a year on this day. I just don't understand why he wants to stop it now. We are nearing the point in our lives where we can't act young anymore. Soon we must take up the responsibilities of being adults. Soon, hopefully, he will find a partner to spend the rest of his life with. Why will he not savor these last years of happiness?"

Finarfin looks at me for a minute, his mouth slightly open, then smiles a sad sort of smile. "Oh, Luinil..." he begins, "...Feanor cannot savor these moments because...they have passed by already."

"What do you mean by that?" I question, confused.

"I mean to say this: While you still have a few years to enjoy your youth, Feanor does not. He must grow up sooner than you. And, I think he will be getting married much sooner than you suppose."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but when they do, I can feel the blood drain from my face, and I take a step backwards like I've been hit. It feels like I've been hit too.

"'You think Feanor asked her to marry him," I breathe. I don't have to specify who "her" is. Everyone already knows. It's like I can feel something inside of me break as Finarfin nods his head slowly. I close my eyes, inhaling deeply and trying to keep myself under control. It's just a guess, I tell myself. Finarfin is only guessing. You do not know anything for sure.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Finarfin stares at me.

"I am sorry, Luinil."

Those words seem to stir me from my thoughts. I plaster a smile to my face and say, "You're sorry? Sorry for what? Shouldn't you be happy for your brother, if he is indeed going to be married?"

He sighs and takes one of my hands. "Of course I'm happy for him. But I know that you aren't. You care for him, don't you?"

"Care for him? I do care for him; but I also care for you and Fingolfin," I say, pretending not to understand what he means.

"You love him," he states flatly. "It isn't hard to notice. You love him, but you're afraid of love for some reason, afraid to trust anyone but yourself, so you've pushed him away to the point where he's uncomfortable around you."

I stare blankly at him as I realize that Finarfin is right. He is wise beyond his years and always right. Part of me is angry; I didn't believe that Feanor would give up on me so easily, after he tried so hard to get me to kiss him when we were young. I take a shaky breath. Right now, all I want to do is talk to Feanor.

At that very moment, he just so happens to be walking around the corner, whistling joyfully to himself and holding a long, rectangular box in one hand. He freezes when he sees Finarfin and me.

"Feanor," I call to him. My voice is cracks in the middle of his name, revealing that I've been upset. I know he'll notice the redness of my eyes when he comes over, but he looks concerned from the moment he hears me. Then he seems to remember our earlier conversation.

"Yes?" he asks, waltzing over slowly and glaring at Finarfin, who smiles like it has no effect on him.

"I believe it would be better if you two talk alone," says Finarfin. Quickly, he walks away, and I wait until he rounds the corner to speak...or at least attempt to, because Feanor starts speaking before I even get the chance to open my mouth.

"Luinil, I'm so very sorry. I shouldn't have waited until now to tell you that I'm not coming along. I've known for a while. I'm sorry. But look...I made you this."

He hands the box to me. It's heavy, but not too heavy. Slowly, without looking at him, I open it. A gasp escapes my lips when I find what's inside: a beautiful bracelet with dazzling stones set in it. They reflect and refract the light around, making them sparkle a hundred different colors at once. My eyes flick upward to his proud face. He smiles softly, and I say, "Thank you, Feanor. This...this is amazing."

He nods. "I'm glad to know you like it." I copy his motion to show my thanks again. There's a moment of awkward silence between us before I point out, "So...you seem to be in a good mood today. May I ask what's happened?"

His eyes become unfocused, and his smile grows wider. "She happened. Nerdanel. Her hair is soft to the touch, and her eyes...how can I begin to describe them? They are a kaleidascope of colors, as if all the gems of Arda have been melted together. They are like emralds and saphirres with flecks of gold, alight with joy and beauty that I have not seen before in any woman. She is usually light, though I have seen her be serious every now and then. When I am around her, I just feel...better. I feel happier than ever."

I force a smile. "And what happened today to make you so excited? You have spent much time with her before and never acted like this."

His grin fades. "I..."

"What, Feanor? What did you do? You can tell me anything!" I urge. Finarfin may have been right, but I need to hear it from Feanor's own lips to fully believe.

"Do you promise not to be upset? No matter what it is?" he asks eagerly. I hesitate, but eventually decide to answer, "If it is something worth being upset about, I may feel slightly unhappy; but I have a feeling this is good news." I am lying. Of course I am lying. How could I not be?

He looks at me and nods again. He takes a deep breath.

"I will be marrying Nerdanel."

I close my eyes, heart racing. Inside, I feel hurt, but outside, I laugh and smile and pretend to be excited.

"Oh, Feanor, that's wonderful! Congratulations!" I jump into his arms for a hug, mostly so he can't see the underlying tones of sadness etched on my face. Hesitantly, his arms wrap around me. When I pull away, he looks more cheerful than I've seen him look for a very, very long time.

"I'm glad you are pleased with this news," he says.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, curious as to what his answer will be.

"I'm not sure. I just had this odd sense of foreboding, like I shouldn't tell you, for some reason."

"I'm your best friend, Feanor. You can tell me anything and everything. I'll always be here for you, not matter what," I assure, though my eyes probably look cold and distant. He seems to notice and takes a step backwards, like he's uncomfortable.

We have a very forced conversation about things such as the weather, and when he finally leaves, I allow one tear to slip down my face. Like all of my tears that fall from anger, it's burning hot. I can hardly believe what's just happened, but I know one thing for certain: Love is not for me.

* * *

Feanor and Nerdanel kiss, and everyone claps. There are flowers being thrown everywhere, and everyone seems to be laughing and smiling. Everyone, that is, except for me. Nerdanel looks radiant in her dress of pure white fabric, and Feanor looks more handsome than ever in his outfit of red and blue. There's suddenly a lot of clapping, barely join in, only tapping my fingertips together. Finarfin glares at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Be happy," he says. "And if you are jealous, just be happy that he is happy." I don't say anything, but I do return his glare.

Each at their own pace, the guests start to move outside where they can all talk together. With a sigh, I follow them. I suppose I should at least say congratulations. There is lots of chatter, everyone wanting to speak with the new couple. Some talk about children, and I hear Feanor laugh, "Seven! Can you imagine that, Nerdanel--having seven children?"

Kicking up some leaves, I find a nice spot under a tall tree to sit, just as music starts to play. Finarfin asks me to dance, and I rudely decline. No, I don't want to dance.

I get some odd looks from a few Elves, sitting alone as I am, but no one mentions anything; they are all too afraid of me to dare to question anything I do, which don't mind at the moment. I prefer to be left to my thoughts.

Leaving the daughter of Melkor alone with her thoughts is never a good idea. Feanor son of Finwe, my closest companion, should have known that the most.