071:

Megan leaned forward and pulled some official looking papers out of the side pouch of Ryan's bag not knowing what it was, more for a distraction. She wanted to talk to her sister, but was kind of wary. Melia in this mood was a bombshell. The papers unfolded easily and Melia snatched them before Megan could tell what she had in her hands till she read the top part. A law firm.

And then she knew.

She sat down, the papers in her lap, and her eyes filled with tears.

"What is it, Mia?"

"The annulment."

"What? Your annulment? Why are you getting your marriage annulled?" Megan's voice was all concern, and she went to her sister and cradled her in her arms.

"Excuse me---" Melia jerked herself free of the embrace that was meant to be comforting, when in fact, she felt overwhelmingly betrayed.

That red haze she'd been experiencing started to crowd out her vision. It was time to let some of it out. Even though Megan was distant, she was still her sister. She felt herself vacillating between wanting to keep private, and wanting to blurt it all out. That singular war that always raged inside... and the hurt, the devastating hurt she harbored toward herself and them for not staying close. Every dream she'd ever had had been crushed that day she'd gone to see Jerry Antonucci. Every single dream. And making the best of it had not given her dreams back.

"I swear, I might have a nervous breakdown." She muttered, laying the papers aside, her shoulders slumped, her body sinking further and further into the bed, as if she'd simply drown in despair. "You know, Megan, you may not feel close to me right now, and maybe I did that by pushing you and Maille away after Jared died. I tried the best I could to get through a very painful time."

"You turned into a maniac, Mia. You didn't care what anyone else was going through, you just did your own thing, faster and farther than anyone else. You had to be the best, and it didn't matter who you stepped on." Megan's eyes were sad, but defiant as if she really wanted to get this out in the open.

Melia remembered those dark days when she seemed even to herself like an automaton. Not thinking, not feeling, just diving into as many projects as she could.

"I feel like I'm reaping the benefits of what I sowed back then. I drove everyone away from me. Instead of seeing the grieving widow, everyone saw the selfish---." She choked on the image she portrayed of herself. How she wanted to be perceived and how she was perceived were two very different things.

Megan shrugged, not unforgiving, but having lived through the confused whirlwind that had been her sister a few months ago, she wasn't about to forget. They weren't out of the woods with one revealing conversation.

Melia bit her lips. Her sister's face was not sympathetic. Even now there was a wary look in her eyes.

"He only married me to get revenge." Melia said slowly, softly. Megan's eyes rose to meet her sister's. "He hates me. He's only staying with me right now because...." Her voice trailed off. She wasn't going to tell anyone else about the threats. She was done confiding in her family. They didn't confide in her.

Megan's eyes were round. She had been around Ryan recently, and he seemed genuinely aggrieved at how cold and selfish Melia had become as if even he couldn't get her to settle down and take it one day at a time. He had told her on more than one occasion that Melia had been flirting with other guys, and that Melia had confided that Abby wasn't really Jared's. But not--- there were the annulment papers, and she was absolutely positive that Melia had not been aware of them before. She sighed and twisted her hands.

"Because, what?"

Melia sighed in defeat. "I can't discuss the reasons. And honestly, I know I've been thoughtless and uncaring toward you and Maille, but I don't feel close enough to you anymore to share anything really confidential. You both seem to have boyfriends that you share things with. And unfortunately, they've apparently made up their minds about me without getting to know me. I can only assume they get their impressions from you and Maille."

She let that hang out there, a half-formed thought she'd only stumbled upon since she'd been on this houseboat. Before that, she'd been too caught up in her own life to really see how disconnected she'd become.

"Honestly, Megs, I'm not blaming you guys. You couldn't understand what I've been through. And it no longer matters."

"Maybe it matters. Don't you want to be like we used to be? Shouldn't we make an effort to be close again?" Megan spread her hands wide and gave Melia an imploring expression.

They both had to laugh.

"You're not a very good actress." Melia snorted with a smile.

"You're right, thank goodness I have no intention of going into any kind of performing arts in that way."

Melia's eyes snapped up. "Didn't you enjoy the band while we had it?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I love the music, and writing songs with you is very enjoyable, but if you haven't noticed, we don't do that anymore."

"I have noticed."

Megan's eyebrows quirked. "Really?"

Stung again, Melia bowed her head and pursed her lips."I understand you and Cousin Stevie are..." She tried to change the subject, not daring to look into her sister's eyes.

"Married. Yes."

"What?"

"We didn't tell anyone. It was just between us. We're going to have a double ceremony in Montana in a couple of weeks with Cassie and Matthew."

"Why did you get married by yourself?"

"Why did you?"

"I was... pregnant."

"I'm not pregnant. I was married in the Brisbane Temple a month ago."

"You were married this whole time in Hawaii?"

"Don't act all hurt. We didn't even tell Mommy and Daddy." She laughed shakily.

"I'm your twin." Melia protested, real hurt on her face and Megan hugged her again.

"Did you even hang out with me in Hawaii? Nope. Did you even know I was there? Did you know where I was staying? No. You have your own life to deal with." She flicked the papers in front of her. "Understandable. Obviously, you guys aren't happy. What do you mean he hates you?"

Melia shook her head. I'm not going to talk about me, she thought. "What about Cassie?"

Megan sighed and turned away, hurt that Melia couldn't confide in her even now. The gulf between them all seemed monumental. It pained her to feel so out of touch with her sister, but she did. There hadn't been very many close times in the last year or two.

"Cassie and Matthew are married too. They got married in the Los Angeles Temple about a month ago."

"Temple weddings."

"Well." Megan said and shrugged. "It wasn't what we all envisioned. Neither of us had a very big celebration, not with all the party and the shindig. Like I said, Mommy is planning a reception and a ring exchange in Montana for everybody."

"I am too out of the loop. I should have known all this stuff was going on." Melia said in disbelief.

"Like I said. You've been busy. Two kids to think about...." Megan said and patted her on the back. "Come up and join us, okay? Just don't get all sarcastic. I think this stuff can all work out if you settle down and quit being defensive."

Melia knew her slutty words from earlier had been reported. They validated what they all already thought of her.

Melia shook her head. "You go." She said in defeat. "I may come up in awhile."

Megan nodded apologetically and left her sister to sit in the cool air conditioned room, staring at the annulment papers in her hands, thinking.

******