Regina:

Cobi is so dead this morning! 

I knew the bastard became aware of my presence the minute I walked in, yet I had been standing at the front desk of his establishment for a little over thirty minutes now and as usual, his latest flavour, slash receptionist wouldn't grant me the 'permission' to meet her boss. My own brother! 

The fucker must have been enjoying the show for he hadn't made a move to come out of his shithole even though he pretty much knew what was going on here.

"Okay let's try this again. I would like to see the head trainer, if you don't mind. Is he in?" I announced, slowlyto the chucklehead behind the desk made out of tempered glass.

The thing, dressed in a spaghetti dress that was anything but formal, was just as Cobi liked them; tall, malnourished and bald. Only that this one was really dark skinned and she coloured her scalp bright red. I guessed that meant the flavor was chili.

Peppery continued to file her perfectly manicured claws, the same colour as her scalp, with an expression of boredom and kept looking, deliberately, over my shoulder from time to time like I hadn't been standing there for over thirty minutes.

I wondered what expression her face would carry if I decided to puncture her throat with my own claws.

When she finally looked at me, it was more of a glare, "I told you already. We are closed for today. C-l-o-s-e-d! What part of; we aren't open for business don't you get?" She sneered bitterly and I sighed.

It really wasn't the punk's fault that she thought I would snatch that prick from her if I had a chance to meet him, but this was totally a dick move. I wasn't even dressed in a way that might seem suggestive.

A sports bra, yoga pants and a casual tracksuit jacket on me wasn't enough to 'snatch' her man now, was it?

But then again, Cobi's spec was tall, skinny women with a lot of sass, but no brains. I shouldn't be surprised.

"I told you I wanted to see Cobi. I did not tell you I came for 'business'," I explained in exasperation.

One last try and I'm marching into Cobi's office myself. Protocol be screwed.

"Obviously," she mumbled, rolling her smokey eyes while at it. My eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I hissed and leaned forward, preparing to launch my hand to swipe at her bloody smug look, should she dare to refer to my size in this conversation.

Jacobi Dickhole Alabi came out of hiding just then.

"Woah there Baaaaybee! Fancy meeting you here on a sunny Sunday morning like this eh?!" His oh-so- annoying voice chimed as he hurried towards me. I relaxed my stance and redirected my glare at him.

"You fucking son of a cow! I'm so going to sit on your good for nothing head for the amount of time you made me wait out here and spank your ass like a mama's boy!" I yelled, like a literal war cry, and charged for him. A pure look of horror washed over his face before he took off into the gym area. I dropped my bag and quickened my pace.

Cobi knew he had no chance of out running me, yet he tried his best, weaving through his heavy duty machines with profound agility and turning his head over his shoulder to placate me from time to time.

He was in the middle of the latter action when he tripped over the laces of his sneakers and crashed onto the ground. Because I was already very close and there was no way to abruptly grind to a halt, I tripped over him and shamefully face planted into the taut sinew of his ass.

It took only two seconds before recovered and channeled all my embarrassment and rage into straddling his back and giving his joggers clad bottom loud spanks. I was very satisfied by his screams, even though I knew the fucker was just humouring me.

When I'd finally had my fill of revenge, I peeled myself off his back and collapsed to the tiled floor, next to him, in exhaustion.

"I must say Gina," Cobi said in between heavy breaths "you're one hell of a kinky minx. I likey."

My face morphed into a disgusted frown when I realised what he was trying to insinuate. "Eww!" I hollered and threw a sharp jab to his ribs. 

He winced painfully "It's gross, I know. But I'm not that bad you know? The way he wriggled his brows suggestively made a gag bubble up my throat. I gave his arm a loud smack and sat up.

Cobi was a shameless prick, alright, but I didn't come here for this. Not today.

"You're being extra violent today baybee. What happened?" His concern filtered through the playfulness of his tone but I wasn't moved by it one bit.

"Well for one, I sought you out last night only to find you buck naked, sandwiched between two whiplike creatures. Then I got here the next day and you decided to get me talk to your newest flavour of fuck toys for half an hour. Give me one reason why I shouldn't pound you to a pulp and mix our remains with my lube."His loud chuckle was bounced off the walls of the empty gym.

"Well... I'm flattered," he mused.

"Not the point Cobi!" I growled intensely.

"At least Titi and yourself got to know each other and I got you pumped up enough for a little bit of exercise." Cobi only realised, the moment the words were out of his lips, that he'd said too much. I stared into the walls made of mirrors at our reflection and made to stand up but his hand held me back.

"See," I avoided his hazel eyes, "I'm going to talk okay, I just need to get out of here." I motioned to the room with a wave of my free hand and he nodded with empathy before hopping up with agility and dragging me up with him as well.

Our transit to his office was intercepted by the redhead receptionist. Red scalp rather.

"What's going on here?" She pointed accusingly at me with her eyes slanted into slits. I rolled mine in boredom.

"Oh Titi," Cobi coed in his overly sugary voice that made me want to retch my guts and wrapped his arm around my back, "you haven't gotten the chance to officially meet my cute, little sister. Regina."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, once again, at his tactics.

Cute, little sister indeed.

"And Baybee, meet Titilayo Derrick. My receptionist and–"

"Current partner in bed." I finished for him and he nodded in satisfaction.

Titilayo's glare faltered for a moment and her eyes roamed, uncertainty, between us. I could already tell her thoughts before she said it.

"You are lying to me babe," she purred stupidly, "this is not your sister, you look nothing like each other." She accused further, the way they all did. I wasn't emotionally ready for the explanation Cobi was going to present so I spoke up before he did;

"Don't be a dumb ass. We have the same eyes and really, do you think this idiot will ever fuck anything plus size?"

"Well he can make an exception," she fired back with a voice that'd done a three-sixty from her initial purr.

Gag!

"And fuck his sister? Are you kidding right now?" I chuckled when her expression began to read embarrassment, "anyways, if you want to stand a chance with my brother. I've got to like you, and you haven't given me a damn reason why I should. So be a good girl and fuck out of the way while my brother and I discuss in his office and grab some coffee. Oh and cookies while you're at it."

Before the ashen bimbo was able to come up with a response, I'd already shoved her out of the way and dragged an equally stunned best friend-slash-big-brother away to his office.

"What was that for?! You cursed out that poor girl and made her feel like nothing!" Cobi whined when we got to the tiny peice of shit he called his office and settled his ass on a beat-down couch that had seen better days. I shook my head patronizingly.

"Why do I have the feeling that you really don't care about the peppery cunt?" I knew what it was really about.

"Well, I really haven't shagged her properly, you know? I don't want her to think I'm cheating." Of course. I wasn't wrong.

"But you are cheating." I emphasized on the last word on purpose. "Just last night, you were in bed with two bitches from a strip club. I don't remember any of them having bald heads or scarlet scalps." 

He avoided my eyes when he replied, "I didn't say I'm in a relationship with her or anything." I sighed and rested my behind beside him, but refused to rest my entire weight on the furniture for fear that the rickety thing would collapse and I would have to visit a furniture store.

"Cobi. I didn't say so either. I'm just saying you should, for once in your life, regard women as more than variants of fuck toys." 

"In my defense, you're more than a fuck toy to me."

"Cobi, that's because I'm your sister... whatever that means."

"You're my sister Gina," he replied immediately and I smiled ruefully.

"Our only connection is the womb that held us in for nine months, bro. We share absolutely different DNA."

"Well that's not the reason you're here Baybee. Tell me what gave you sailor's tongue this Sunday morning?" A classic style of deviation. One that resulted into me avoiding his eyes.

I crept the fingers of my left hand up my lap till my latest, most adored, jewelry caught his eyes.

"Jesus Harold Christ! Andre proposed?!" I winced at his extraordinary boom and the discomfort that came from Jacobi almost pulling the entire arm from its socket in the guise of checking out the ring.

"Sort of," I mumbled, still avoiding his gaze. He picked up immediately.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "You know you can tell me everything, right?"

It was time for my sob story. A pathetic, yet ludicrous sob story.

"I don't want you dealing out threats here Cobi. I just want you to listen." When I was assured by a nod, I continued. "I caught him in bed with some dark skinned model and got mad. In defense, he lashed out and said he did it because I refused to continue shedding weight and he can't stand my excessive stretch marks and numerous thigh dimples." I inhaled sharply at the memory of the hurtful things he said and tried to blink away my tears.

He'd called me fat! Obese and overweight. Heavens knew how much those words hurt me.

"As apology and remorse for his action," I forced myself to continue, "he sent a garden of roses to my doorstep, a band of highlife singers and a box of an expensive ring with the words; marry me written with fireworks two nights later."

Cobi muttered a string of curses under his breath before growing silent. I knew that to be the calm before the storm.

"Why did you accept?" He questioned with a voice slightly above a whisper.

"We've been dating for years Cobi. I know he cheats a lot and he has his reasons to do so—"

"Reasons that are poppycock!" Cobi interrupted with  a sudden boom. "No reason can ever justify, cheating on a goddess like you! That fucker will be hearing from me real soon!"

What did I say?

I shook my head vigorously, "you won't lay a finger on him Cobi. Moreover, you're only calling me that because I'm your relative. No one will ever relate fatness to divinity."

Cobi was quick to respond. "I'm not saying that because you're my... relation. I'm saying it because it's the truth. And you're not fat. You're voluptuous, curvy, a figure eight, but you're never fat. I've seen fat people and I know what they look like. You don't look like them. And those thigh dimples and stretch marks that mad bull complains about, they make you even flawless. Believe it or not Baybee, you're a goddess. A goddess that is flawless with her flaws."

His words appeased me a lot, made me feel better even. But the fact that my own boyfriend, now fiancé, didn't think so dampened my spirit even more.

"I don't know Cobi, Andre doesn't think so," I said in a small voice.

"That's more reason for you to kick his sorry ass out of your life. Not saying yes to a limited edition ring."

"I'd be making a mistake if I had said no. I can't leave Dre and you know it. We've been dating for almost four years now and he's taken the initiative to take things further. Who am I to say no?"

Really. Dre was everything to me. I didn't have it in me to call it quits.

"You're the one with the upper hand and not the other way round Regina! And I personally think getting married to a fitness freak, who doesn't appreciate you for you and keeps plugging every moist hole, like a cow on heat, is the mistake you're making here."

Okay that does it!

"I didn't come here so you can trash talk my boyfriend …fiancé Cobi. I came so you can sign me up for this thirty days to fitness shit you're doing, so I can begin tomorrow." Cobi's eyes was as round as golf balls by the time I was done.

"Uh- that's a no no Baybee! Remember the last time you made efforts to slim down? Remember how it took the heavens to drag you out of the pits of anorexia? We ain't treading that path again Regina!"

I knew Cobi, the big mouth, wouldn't hesitate to open old wounds just to drive his shitty point home. But I wouldn't argue with him this time, I would try awakening that part of him that couldn't say no to me.

"I'm not going to diet this time. It'll just be intense workout sessions. I promise," I delivered in a meek voice and glossy eyes. His momentary silence announced that he was relenting.

"You're really willing to go that far for him eh?"

"I love him. I'll do anything to make us work." His expression hardened as he suddenly rose to his feet. I was in the middle of wondering what set him off when he opened his lips to say something that hit too close to home.

"I'll beg to differ! I think you'll do anything because you're afraid that no one will want you if he left you just like your father did."

Bullseye!

I shot up from my seat like my ass was on fire and delivered a powerful punch to his face before he could even blink.

"Thanks for being such an asshole," I spat and turned around to leave. The peppery receptionist was by the door with a tray of snacks in her grasp.

The perfect victim to transfer a little bit of aggression on.

"Eavesdropping doesn't pay cunt and this one is just looking to fuck and toss you when your flavour has lost his spiciness. When he does, you'll feel worse than I feel now. Don't say I didn't warn you." I pushed her out of my way, spilling lukewarm coffee all over her chest but I didn't look back to say sorry. She didn't deserve my apology.

Like you don't deserve the ring on that fat finger of yours!

After a full week of mental torture! I came through with a new chapter. This calls for celebration!

I'm back from 'malariacation' but I feel it won't be for long. Stress and more stress is messing up with my head RN😥

Bottom line is: being a writer is extremely hard💔 especially when one is lazy!

Anyways, I'd appreciate your thoughts and votes on this chapter. It's a lirru bit of prepping for the big meet-cute, which I hope will be hilarious and fun *winks suggestively*

News flash: two brand new chapters of the book one of this work —Melanin Diaries: Perfectly Imperfect — in now updated on Goodnovel and there's a lot of new drama between Mike, Fuhad, Cordelia, Bisi and even Richard is back!!! What's more? You can read it for FREE! provided that you earn enough coints💃💃

You can buy the chapters too, if you can afford it, you know? To help me earn and all that...

Last, but not least, chapter one is for maramartha, 'cause  she's my number one...

Amateur rap shit going on there😂😂. Anyways I am eternally indebted to this woman. All the help and support and care she's shown an undeserving Becky, it'll take all the funds in the world to repay that. But I hope this chips off a few bucks off that debt😶😶

This has dragged on for too long folks, we'll see at the bottom of the next chapter.

Love,
Illusionistic.