Chapter 75 - Doubts and truths

The fire was burning in the grate of the office, and the warmth was soothing. Megan hadn't even realised how cold she was until it hit her. Cedric took Megan's arm:

"C'mon, let's sit down," he said.

They sat down on the large stone steps in front of Dumbledore's desk. They were silent for a moment, then Megan spoke:

"... It's my fault..." she said in a low, miserable voice. "All that mess is my fault."

"No, Megan, it's not..."

"Yes, it is!" she insisted without looking at him. "I was so incredibly stupid. If I hadn't believed that stupid vision Voldemort put into my stupid head–"

"Megan, look at me." Cedric interrupted her, gently turning her face to look at her. "I would have done exactly the same thing. I would have wanted to be sure."

"But..." Megan began.

"But you thought Sirius had gone. And you had no way to know it was a trap. Voldemort wasn't exactly going to say so in your dreams, was he? He was counting on your love for Sirius, whether his capture was true or not. He knew you wouldn't take the risk of losing him. He may not understand its beauty or its power, but he does know how to use love to his advantage."

Megan sighed. She still couldn't find herself as not at fault.

"I almost lost you once, and I very nearly let it happen again..." she said. "You and Hermione tried to tell me he was just messing with my head, and I was too stupid to listen..."

"Megan." Cedric said. "You are not responsible. You're caught in Voldemort's revenge. He's the one who brought you to that graveyard last year. And drew you to the Ministry tonight."

"Because he wants me!" Megan said, standing up and turning round, tears gleaming in her eyes. "But I can't stand to let him hurt you or anyone else, and I just threw you all into the lion's pit!"

She was fidgeting around aimlessly. Cedric stood up and pulled her against his chest. She began to sob against his shoulder.

"Megan..." he said, rubbing his hand down her back. "When are you going to stop blaming yourself for Voldemort's actions? He chose the path of evil, just like you chose that of good. And we're all old enough to know what to do for ourselves. So, stop taking everything upon yourself and worrying about us. It'll only make you suffer. We're fine. That's what matters, okay?"

She looked up at him, her eyes still gleaming.

"You always try to protect us, and we all love you for it. But we don't need it. We can take care of ourselves. So focus on keeping yourself safe."

Megan looked up at him, reading his expression. He seemed so confident... Maybe she was too overprotective... but it was only because...

"I love you." she said.

He smiled softly.

"I love you too." he said, kissing her.


They spoke little after that. Cedric wrapped his arms around Megan as they sat in silence. That was how Dumbledore found them a while later, when he appeared in the fireplace. They both got to their feet.

"Please, have a seat," he said, conjuring a small sofa.

Without letting go of each other's hand, they followed him and sat down while Dumbledore took his seat behind his desk.

"First of all, I wish to reassure you, Megan. Everyone else is fine."

Megan nodded once, not looking at him.

"However, now that he's been seen, I'm afraid Sirius will have to leave."

Megan's head snapped up.

"What...? But if he stays in Grimmauld Place..."

"After tonight, any and all Aurors involved will be closely watched," Dumbledore said. "As, most likely, will I. Keeping our headquarters there would put him at risk, as it would only be a matter of time before it was discovered, even with the Fidelius Charm."

Megan bowed her head. He would have to be on the run again, and this time, it would be even more dangerous to contact him. A single tear slid down her cheek and onto her knee. It wasn't fair.

Then, slowly, she raised her head. Dumbledore's eyes were kind, not accusatory. He almost seemed apologetic, which Megan thought was ridiculous. Why would he need to apologise? She probably would have died if he hadn't stepped in.

"There is absolutely no shame for you to have. I know you are feeling guilty, scared and confused, which is quite understandable. But, as unpleasant as it is to experience, this is a very good thing. The fact that you can feel is a proof of who you are, that you are human."

Megan briefly wondered if it was worth being human if it was to feel this bad. Then, as if he sensed her doubt, Cedric squeezed her fingers. Glancing up at him, she realised she had her answer. Yes. It was worth it. Anything was worth the warm glow Cedric brought in her, and the strength of her own feelings. Or the warmth she felt in her when she was with her friends, or when she realised how much they were ready to do for her.

"You may be angry with me, as you ought to be." Dumbledore said. "But you shouldn't feel responsible for what happened tonight. If any of us is to be held accountable, it is me."

Megan looked from Cedric to him, her lips slightly parted in surprise.

"You should never have been led into Voldemort's trap," The Headmaster continued. "I above all am at fault for that."

"But, professor..."

"Your kindness, I do not deserve, Megan..." he interrupted softly, a sad smile on his lips. "I am the guilty one. Guilty of not being honest with you when I should have been. I knew Voldemort would try and lure you that way, and if I had just told you so, he wouldn't have succeeded, because you would have been better prepared for it."

"And Sirius, Cedric and the others wouldn't have almost died..." Megan completed.

"Indeed not," he agreed quietly. "Not to mention yourself. I owe you an explanation for an old man's mistakes. I see now, with dolorous clarity what I have done and not."

Megan and Cedric exchanged puzzled glances, waiting for Dumbledore to continue.

"I guessed at once, when I saw the scar on your forehead as a baby, what it might mean. I suspected that it would be a link between you and Voldemort. I know I have told you this before, but is essential to start from there. Because it was quite clear to me, when you entered the magical world, that I was correct. You sensed his presence. And when he recovered his body and power, that connection became even more pronounced."

"... Because he took her blood to do it..." Cedric whispered.

"Mostly. I grew concerned that he would come to realise the existence of the bond. And, as I feared, the time came when you went so far into his mind that he became aware of your presence."

"The night I saw Mr Weasley's attack..." Megan whispered, looking down.

"Yes." he agreed. "Did you never wonder why I hardly spoke or looked at you all year? Or had Snape teach you Occlumency instead of me?"

Megan looked up, and was surprised to see sadness and tiredness in his eyes.

"... I did. But I thought you were afraid of Voldemort possessing me..."

A sad smiled flashed fleetingly on his face.

"Very much so," he answered quietly. "But it was more the fact that I feared I would be the one to provoke the possession. I believed that when we were in close contact, I could see a shadow of him in your eyes."

Megan remembered the bursts of anger that had filled her sometimes for no apparent reason, or how she'd overreacted to little things. And those fleeting wishes to attack Dumbledore himself, which, thankfully, were gone now. She shuddered and leaned into Cedric, who squeezed her hand in response.

"Voldemort's goal in controlling your mind was not to destroy me, but you."

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top