Page 1: Wind

I don’t remember dying, but I do remember arriving back to reality. I remember finding myself in a plain room, a room lacking color and detail. I could only be in one place, I could only be in a hospital. I remember feeling numb. I should be happy! I survived Sword Art Online! I am free to live the rest of my life! The thing is, I can’t feel happy. I can’t feel hopeful or appreciative. I can’t feel anything because SHE died. My best friend, my partner, my girlfriend, my fiancé.  

“How do you feel?” one beaming, cheery nurse asks. I contemplate whether I should answer or not.

“I feel...” how do you explain to someone that you feel as though your heart has been ripped out, and that you are forced to watch it struggle to beat? “I feel like I’m dead.” This is clearly not the answer the nurse was expecting. Her lips purse into an round o shape, and she hurries out of the room. That’s right, leave. I’m not worth anyone’s time. After all, I am like a zombie. I appear to be alive, but I’m truly dead.  

Months have passed, months of endless trips to a grief therapist. I have to talk to a grumpy old man, at least once a week, doctor’s orders. Who would want to talk to a wrinkly and shriveled therapist like Ayaka-san? He is like the incarnate of agitation. He is impatient and gets irritated easily. It is almost as if all I have to do is breathe the wrong way and he launches into some rant.

“Kenji-kun, are you listening?” a gravely voice asks, bring me back into Ayaka’s stuffy office. As his frowns deepen, so do his wrinkles. For some reason I find this amusing, so I chuckle. 

“Oh you find this funny?” Ayaka asks, his furry eyebrows pointing down at such a steep angle that they almost join together. “Your LIFE isn’t a GAME! You’re twenty-three, you have your whole life ahead of you!” I merely roll my eyes. That statement is extremely cliché. I rise off of the lumpy sofa, and make a break for the door. “Kenji-kun! Your session isn’t over yet! Ken-” his voice is cut off as I slam the door closed. What does he know? I highly doubt that old fart has loved anyone but himself.  

I walk, unseen amongst throngs of people. In Tokyo, you can become lost, hidden despite being directly in front of someone. I weave around people, unsure of where I am going. All the city noises, all the talking, the sirens, and flashing lights seem to fade away as I get lost in my own footsteps. Left, then right, left then right. It’s amazing what left and right can do together. After watching my own feet for around ten minutes, I look up. That’s when I see IT, the ad for Phantom Secrets Online.  Phantom Secrets Online... Why does it sound familiar? I struggle to recall why it seems familiar as I slowly change direction, and bring myself closer to my apartment. Could it be... Could it be the game I foolishly agreed to beta test? Beta testing... That’s how I met her, the love of my life. It’s too bad that I couldn’t meet her again... After all, we all know that once you die, you never come back alive. 

Before I know it, I’m at my apartment, shrugging off my wool coat and approaching my bedroom. Sure enough, Phantom Secrets Online is lying on my nightstand, along with all the equipment I need to play it. I let myself fall forward, resulting in myself landing on my bed with a muffled thud. When should I play Phantom Secrets Online? Surely the sooner would be the better... With a loud sigh, I soon find myself saying, “Link Start” with little to no enthusiasm. 

I find myself lost within darkness. What the heck!?! This is nothing like the first time I played it, the time I played it at the same time with all the beta testers... I spin around, desperate to find some sort of light when my eyes spot a speck. The speck is tiny, and appears to be far off in the distance. Should I move towards it? What if it is a trap? What if it is one of those evil phantoms that try to kill you within the first few minutes of the game? Oh, I’m SO not going to fall for its trap. “Ha!” I yell towards the light, “What do you think I am, stupid?”  After my outburst, the light blinks, and changes shape, or reveals itself for what it truly is. It is a fragment, a glowing fragment, a colorful fragment that is similar to that of those found when your character dies in a VRMMO. Did someone get killed here recently? Did an unlucky player before me die? IDIOT! THIS ISN’T SWORD ART ONLINE, IF YOUR CHARACTER DIES YOU DON’T REALLY DIE, YOU JUST START OVER! Damn Sword Art Online... I may have “escaped” but I will always be tormented the memories I gained from that game.  

I am blinded momentarily as a plethora of fragments join the first fragment. Huh? Shouldn’t the fragments disappear instead of reappear? The fragments shake, before rearranging themselves. They form a person, a girl... No, not a girl, a woman. Not just any woman... 

“M-M-Mayuri?” I stammer, unable to believe my eyes. Mayuri! No, Mayuri is dead... I even went to her funeral. There was a casket and everything! Sadly it was closed casket, so I was unable to give her hand one final squeeze. I loved to hold hands with her... Her skin was as soft as silk. Her very presence could calm even the most savage of beasts. She was a kind, caring, and brilliant person. The woman, who was originally facing away from me, turns to look me in the eyes. She has the same build, same hair, and same eyes as Mayuri! What kind of twisted game is this? Are the creators of this game TRYING to screw with me? How did they find out about Mayuri? Before I can yell, before I can curse, before I can let myself become enveloped in rage, she speaks. 

“Wind,” she says, appearing to be in a daze. She gazes off into the distance, seeming to be looking at me, but not truly SEEING me. A sudden gust of wind causes her to lose her form and be swept away, like snowflakes in winter wind. What was she? Was she another player? Or is she a character built into the game?

She isn’t the only thing the wind swept away, it also swept away the darkness, revealing a normal appearing forest. I am standing a few meters away, peering into the entrance of the forest. Am I suppose to go into the forest? Do I HAVE to go into a forest? As if on cue, a gust of wind rattles the branches of some of the trees. “Wind...” I whisper, repeating what the phantom said earlier. Well, I suppose the wind decided for me.

The forest is disappointing. You can tell the mostly used the same tree design, and it lacks any sort of variety or detail that would make exploring it fun. I have yet to see any animals, not even a bird. I don’t get it... It is TOTALLY different than the version I played with the other beta testers. That version was stunning and impressive! Since then they must have altered the game... Sadly they made it worse instead of better. 

“P-PPHANTOM!” a high pitched voice shrieks, sounding nearby. I race towards it, towards the first and only thing intriguing about this forest. I get so caught up in trying to run as fast as I can that I nearly run into him, a boy that seems to be around twelve years old. He wears a kimono, one too big, one that seems to be trying to consume him. I look past him, which is easy to do since he has no notable features about him. 

“Phantom, where?” I ask, only seeing trees around us. Is this kid crazy? We’re the only ones in this whole entire forest! 

“T-the kim-mono!” he squeaks, before letting out a cry of pain. “Hurry! It’s trying to eat me, and it has VERY sharp teeth!” So it didn’t just appear to be trying to eat him, it IS trying to eat him! Should I save him? I could spare myself some trouble by just walking away or logging out. “Please! Please help me, just this once!” He looks straight into my eyes, a gaze so intense but vacant of any anger or annoyance that it causes me to shiver. He isn’t annoyed or mad at me for taking so long to make up my mind... 

After some mumbled spell casting, the boy is soon phantom-free. Instead of thanking me, instead of introducing himself, he whispers something, and points at something over my shoulder. A ball of light passes just centimeters from my face, and makes something behind me shatter into fragments. He just used the same spell I used... Dang, this kid learns quick! 

“You should say thank you, Akiki” the twerp squeaks, sounding like someone who sucked some helium. God this kid is starting to annoy me already. 

“You should thank ME, I saved YOU first after all!” I holler, crossing my arms. Who knew children could be so annoying? “Besides, what kind of username is Akiki? It sounds like a noise a choking cat would make!” The kid giggles before responding. 

“Well, you’re about to sound like a choking cat too. Apparently my kimono isn’t the only kimono-phantom in existence. Do you want me to help you? Luckily I had some extra clothes in my inventory... Do you? If not you might have to run around-” before he can finish his sentence, I check my inventory. To my dismay, I have no extra clothes. 

With a loud, exaggerated sigh, I respond. “Thank you Akiki, now, please give me some extra clothes so I can kill this phantom before it kills me.” The brat waits until only my head is poking out before giving me extra clothes. I kill the phantom and change in a hurry, having no further desire to hang around this preteen jerk. With a flick of the wrist, I open up the menu and log out just as Akiki asks me what my name is. As if I’d tell HIM!

Upon returning to reality, I finally decide to write something in the diary Ayaka  gave me. I open to the first page, skipping the step of writing my name on the inside cover.  I write just a word, just one mere word. 

Wind.