The kids were up bright and early this morning, begging Logan to play with them. Logan, of course, obliged and was running around with them all day. But as the evening started to cool off, it was time for our day before deployment tradition.

I'd been working on snacks all day in hopes of making this one the best one and hopefully one to remember, considering this one should be our last one.

I couldn't help but laugh at how dumb I sounded, though. The last one was supposed to be our last one and now this surprise one. I had to figure out how I was going to top our previous movie night, but there wasn't really much else you could add to it.

It was a movie night.

Logan and the twins were in the living room pulling all the cushions off the couch and making a giant 'cuddle puddle' as we liked to call it.

"Dad, I want you to sit right here next to me!" Mazie shouts, her shrill voice showing true signs of distress. She has been on edge all day, worried about everything not going perfectly. She had a little bit of my control freak in her, and it really showed when she was getting stressed about her dad leaving.

"Honey, it's okay. I can sit next to both of you at the same time. Where would you like to sit?" Logan was down on his knees, making sure he was down on her level. She wiped some of the tears out of her eyes before pointing to the spot on the pillows that she deemed was for her. "Okay, I will sit here, and you can sit there where you want to, and if Marcus is okay with it he can sit right here." Logan pointed out the spots, hoping that Mazie would approve of his plan.

"I don't care where I sit as long as it's by dad." Marcus shrugged, plopping down on the pillow that was supposed to be his spot.

"Well, where am I going to sit?" I ask, bringing a big bowl of caramel popcorn into the living room.

"Mazie, where do you want your mom to sit?" Logan was being so patient with her, making sure she was satisfied with everything going on around her. It was so sweet to watch.

She pointed at the seat next to her, putting me on the opposite end of Marcus. I nodded, taking my seat, too nervous to interrupt anything.

"This is perfect!" Mazie shouts, the tears drying from her eyes as she looks at all the food on the coffee table in front of her. "There's literally everything I could ever want right here." She grabbed a juice box and leaned back against the cushions before stabbing the straw in the top of it and gulping the juice down.

"What movie are we going to watch tonight, then?" Marcus asks.

This was the one thing I hadn't figured out. I hated picking movies, and so did everyone else, it seemed. Everyone wanted to watch something different. If we let Mazie pick, we'd be watching some sort of mermaid thing or an animated barbie movie. If Marcus picked its monster trucks, or some fix-it show. If Logan picked, it was a war movie, and that was the worst thing to watch, especially with the kids, right before he was about to leave. My option was always a comedy movie, as I had a hard time getting through anything else.

Soon we settled on a romantic comedy, as Mazie said she would be interested in watching something like that.

Marcus and Logan groaned but obliged when they put the movie into the DVD player and started the show.

Before long, we were all settled into our most comfortable positions as we watched the characters dance across the screen. Mazie and I laughed at every single joke cracked, devouring all of the popcorn we could. The boys took care of the chips and finished off the rest of the juice boxes. My mother would be spending the night here at the house tonight, so not too long after the movie ended the kids would need to start getting ready for bed. Logan had to be to base decently early, and we didn't want to wake the kids to drag them all over town that early. Logan would say a quick goodbye in the morning and we would be on our way.

The show ended with a bang, leaving Mazie and I crippled over in a fit of laughter.

"That was so predictable." Logan groaned, and Marcus tried to copy him, following in his dad's footsteps.

"Exactly, that's why it was funny. It was horrible." I chuckled once more, trying to avoid breaking into another fit of laughter. Mazie nodded, obviously in agreement with what I had said.

"You guys are weird," Marcus adds before stretching his arms up above his head, followed by a giant yawn.

"Looks like it's time for you kids to get off to bed." Logan seemed disheartened. The time had gone by so fast and I couldn't believe he was leaving tomorrow morning. I looked at the clock. It was already an hour past the kids' bedtime, which on the weekends we normally wouldn't be so strict with it, but this was pushing the limits. Tomorrow was going to be rough, even if the kids got all the sleep in the world. I didn't need two tired kids to make it any more difficult.

Both the kids whined, obviously not wanting to go to bed. I felt the same way. If we never went to bed, then tomorrow would never come and we would never have to say goodbye to Logan. But that just simply wasn't true. It didn't matter if we slept or not; he was leaving one way or another. The more we tried to fight it the more we would feel like it was coming quicker than we could prepare for. The best thing to do was to be well-rested, so the emotions were easier to handle.

"What time do we need to leave in the morning?" I asked Logan, pulling my phone out of my pocket to set an alarm. Logan never woke up to alarms, so it would be my job to make sure he got up on time.

"I need to be there no later than 5 am so we need to leave a little after 4 am." He groaned, rubbing his face as if he was trying to recharge himself. I clicked the few buttons needed to make sure I had an alarm set early enough for him to get his things and for us to get down to the car.

"My mother should be here in a little over an hour." Logan and I jumped up off the floor and went to oversee the kid's nighttime routine.

"Are you ready to go?" My mother asks once she gets fully settled into being here. The clock now read a little after ten, and we would need to be off to bed soon. Especially if we were getting up before four. Logan nodded his head, taking a drink of water.

"As ready as I'll ever be, but it's never easy. This is the hardest damn thing I've ever had to do, and I hate leaving my family." Logan shook his head.

"We appreciate that you do it, and soon it will all be over." I grabbed his hand, squeezing it to remind him that I was sitting right next to him. He smiled, squeezing it in return.

"Should we be off to bed, then?" My mother asks, jumping from the table before giving Logan a big bear hug. "You be safe out there and come back home to my baby girl. We love you and hope you at least get to enjoy some of it. This family needs you, so make sure you take care of yourself." She pulled away, grabbing Logan's cheeks before patting him on the back. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. Why did this never get any easier?

Logan held my hand as we walked back to our own bedroom. Closing the door behind us before he slumped onto the bed. I found my spot nuzzled up against him, both of us looking up at the ceiling.

"I love you, and I wouldn't have done this if I would have known this is what it would have felt like to leave my family. When I signed up there was no family. I was never going to get married, have kids, at least not while I was in the military. You came into my life and everything else was blown out of the water. It's me and you baby, and I'm going to miss you so much." If I couldn't see his face, I would have assumed he was crying by the break in his voice.

"I love you too Logan. I'll always be here for you and I'll make sure everything is taken care of so you don't have to worry about it any more than you naturally will. The bills will always be paid, the kids will be loved and I'll always give them an extra hug for you. We talk about you all the time."

"God, you make it sound like I'm dying." He chuckled.

"Well, it feels like it. Everyone looks at me like you have. The kids get treated like you did. It feels like it's practice for the real thing every single time. That's so dark to say, but in reality, it kind of is."

"Okay, I don't actually want to talk about what it'd be like for you guys if I were to die. I think about that enough while I'm already under the ocean. I don't need to start before I even get there." Logan rubbed small circles on my shoulder, holding me close to him. His warmth was all I needed, it filled me up inside and made it seem like nothing bad could ever happen. Even though I knew that wasn't true I was able to convince myself even if it was just for a moment.

"I'd do it all over again," I whispered, my eyes feeling heavy.

I wasn't ready to fall asleep but soon my body would take over and do it for me. I could tell Logan was starting to slow down as well. This was what it was like getting old, your body hits 10 pm and you are just done for the day. We weren't like we used to be before the kids. We would stay up all night and just sit and talk and laugh before he left. But now we were lucky if we got this much time together. Only one more deployment.

I tried to stay positive, that this countdown would be my last. But a part of me told me that wasn't true, even if this was our last deployment, I'd still be counting down the days until he officially got out of the military, and then counting down the days until we closed on our house that we were going to buy. Whenever the time was right to buy. We've lived all over this country and it was finally time for us to settle down. We were just more lucky than others in the military because our retirement location was right where we wanted to stay.

"You would?" Logan asks.

"Yes, of course, I would. Even though the deployments suck, I still get to come home most nights to you. There's nothing better than being married to your best friend and even if I only got to see you one day out of every ten years, I'd still do it all over again. You are the love of my life, and I'm so lucky to have you."

"One day, every ten years, is ridiculously long. That would never be enough time and there's no way you wouldn't move on from me and marry someone else."

"I could never!" I nearly shouted, before realizing that it was so oddly quiet in the house. The night before deployment always was.

"No, I think you are making that up." He muttered, rolling over so he could face me easier.

'I'm not, I'd do it all over again, no matter what the military throws at us."

"I love you," Logan whispered, his eyes finally drifting shut. I leaned forward, kissing his nose.

"I love you too."

I allowed my body to win the battle, my eyes slowly drifting shut as I slip into the deepest of sleep.