My weekend was supposed to be so clear. Logan was supposed to be home and we were supposed to be hanging out. The kids had a birthday party to go to so it would have been just Logan and I spending some time together.

But I sat here in the coffee shop that the FRG was hosting their coffee meetup at. I didn't plan on coming to this. I could have just stayed home, and the more people that filtered through the front door, the more I wanted to jump up and run for the safety of my own bed.

I felt scared to be at home alone though.

Like maybe I was wasting my life if I didn't get out and do something today. I was letting Abby down if I didn't get out of bed today. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning though. Logan left for work, after switching duty days with another guy on the boat in hopes they would allow him to take some time off work to help Peter. I didn't want to be sitting here in this coffee shop with no one I knew.

This kind of stuff made me feel more alone than I did when Logan was away. But if I could just make it through this coffee meetup, I'd be able to pick the kids up and take them to my mother's house. We could spend our evening there, like we used to before Logan got home.

"Hey ladies, it's just me today, Sabrina's husband randomly got the day off even though he was supposed to have duty today." The treasurer states. I think her name was Emily but I couldn't quite remember.

"Oh how lucky of her!" Another wife intersects. I mentally rolled my eyes. Yes, how lucky of her that my sister-in-law got cancer and my husband needs to get some time off work. The comment though inherently unharmful sent a wave of anger through my body. What did luck have anything to do with it?

"Yes, but because of that she can no longer make it. She wants to spend the day spending time with her husband." My skin began to crawl.

"Is your husband home?" Before I could even realize what I had said it was too late. Emily turned to look at me, shock in her eyes. I'm sure she didn't even know my name though I've been here longer than her.

"Yes he is home playing with our kids." Her voice was soft as she cowered under my words.

Many would look at this and Tuesday nights events as the spouses were just so rude to the FRG members. That wasn't the case. The wives were fed up with all of the bullshit the board members have put them through. Both with a lack of Information and when they finally do settle on something they change it without a second thought, leading to multiple plan changes.

It also wasn't my intention to be so harsh. I just simply wanted to point out the fact that not everyone here was here because their husband was on duty, so how disrespectful of the president to hold herself to a different standard.

"That's my point exactly. I bet you'd really love to spend some time with him." I took a sip of my coffee, catching eyes with the redhead from Tuesday night. I was shocked to see her here. I switched seats, putting myself closer to her.

"Frustrated by the establishment?" She questioned, a smile cracking on her lips. She couldn't contain herself with how funny she thought she was.

"Maybe just a little, but it's my husband that's one duty so she can be home."

"That's a bummer." She flicked the straw in her drink.

"What's your excuse?" I took another sip of my drink. It was finally the perfect temperature to actually enjoy it.

"My husband has some trainer he is doing today and had to go in early this morning. Not as bad as a duty day since he'll be home tonight, but not the ideal weekend situation." We both nodded because we both understood. That was almost just as bad as them being gone all day. At least I knew Logan would be home around 10am tomorrow morning. But she had no clue what time her husband would be home today. Best to not make any plans just in case.

"I'm Ivy. What's your name?" She asked, looking around the table at all of the people. I could only imagine we were feeling the same thing. Neither of us really wanted to be here, and we didn't fit in with these other wives, but neither of us had anywhere else to go.

"I'm Ari. Nice to meet you." I tried to smile as best as I could, but the tired lines on my face just didn't want to move. It's almost as if Ivy could read my thoughts, though.

"Rough night?" She leaned forward against the table.

"Yeah..." my shoulders finally relaxed, releasing some of the tension I had been holding. "We found out last night a super close family member has terminal cancer. Argo, the duty switch, my husband was trying to get some time off to go back home to help his brother out." I didn't know why I was telling this stranger already. Maybe it's because I knew she was in the same spot as me. She knew how it felt to have a family emergency and to not be able to go handle it because of the military.

"His brother has cancer?" She asked. It didn't feel like it was nosy though, it felt like she was just trying to understand the full situation.

"No, his brother's wife." Maybe she wouldn't think that was as big of a deal as we did, but I didn't care. "We are all super close."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I had to deal with that when my mother got cancer. We tried getting some time off too, and well, it was right before the last deployment. Anyway, long story short, I had to go alone because the boat needed him more."

When I started talking, I hadn't expected Ivy to understand how I was feeling. I also wasn't expecting that she had gone through something fairly similar. Closer to her than our case is to us family wise, but all the same devastating news.

"So you're saying I shouldn't get my hopes up, that the military will be understanding and grant him his leave?" My question was sarcastic, but I desperately searched her face for any sign of hope.

"Nope!" She popped her 'p'. "Wouldn't count on them for anything. Especially not if they end up leaving in the next couple of weeks like they've hinted at."

"Great." Did she just mention a potential surprise deployment?

"Sounds like you've been a part of this life for a while now though, is this your first big thing that's gone wrong since your husband joined?"

"Yes, we've been really lucky all around in our marriage. My husband joined before we met. So I've only had to do about ten years of this life. Logan should be retiring soon so it's counting down the months not years anymore."

"That's such a great spot to be in. Knowing that the hardest part is behind you." Ivy pulled away just slightly. Holding her coffee to her lips once more. The red lipstick marked the side of the cup.

"Everyone, we need to take a group picture for the newsletter." Emily chimed in.

"Ugh." Ivy and I groaned at the same time, leaning in closer giving our best smiles. I'm willing to be neither of us wanted to be associated with this group. This issue was though, as much as I didn't like these people around me, I knew I still needed them. This was the only group of girl that's would ever really understand what I was going through at a given time. When my husband was gone so was there's. We all were on the same schedule.

When it comes to the emotional cycle of deployment, we were all on the same step and able to support each other through that. Ivy and I both knew we would need that.

Well, maybe I wouldn't. After living years just waiting for the next deployment it felt weird to not have one looming around the corner.

~*~

"How was the birthday party?" My mother shouts, opening her arms wide to take the kids into the biggest hug. "It's been way too long and I've missed you little angels so much!"

It felt good being around my mother, and I was so thankful we lived near our home towns. This was extremely rare when it came to military families. I had no clue how others managed without some sort of family connection. I guess that explains why most wives will move home when their husbands are deployed, though.

"It was so much fun, we got to do lots of cool things and even eat some cotton candy! Mom never lets us eat cotton candy so it made me kind of sick, but it was the best thing I've ever had. I wish she would let me eat it more so I can build a stomach for it and eat even more." Marcus carried on, speaking at a hundred words per minute, as expected with the sugar high he was currently riding.

"Well, I'm so glad you kiddos had fun. Why don't you go sit down on the couch and watch some cartoons while your mom and I catch up." Could my mother tell I needed to talk? It'd felt good to talk to Ivy earlier today, but that wasn't the same as a good old fashion spill sesh with your mother.

The kids rushed off towards the living room, leaving my mother and I in a wave of silence.

"How are you doing, honey? Was your coffee meetup at least okay? I know you wanted Logan to be home today." My mother pulled me in for the next round of hugs, and her warmth pulled me into a level of comfort you can only get from a parent.

"It was good. A new friend I made seems to be on the same level as me. I think she will be a wonderful support while we wait the last few months before Logan gets out." I tried to remind myself that it was sooner than later. As Ivy said earlier, we've gotten through the hard part.

"I'm so glad you were able to make a friend." My mother pulled away, and part of me wanted to dive right back into her arms. I'm sure she wouldn't have complained if I had.

"Yeah, it was nice, and shockingly enough, she seems to have gone through a very similar thing to what Logan and I found out on Wednesday night." I hadn't told my mother yet. I wanted to, but with how busy things have been, there hasn't been a good time to sit down and talk to her. I knew as soon as I opened that flood gate it'd be over an hour long conversation about feelings and just overall venting about the whole situation.

"What did you guys find out on Wednesday night?" A short glimpse of worry crossed her face. I wanted to tell it was okay, and that she didn't need to worry, but that wasn't the truth. We might need her to watch the kids for at least a month while Logan and I head to help Peter. But once again, that was if the military decided to have a single sense of compassion for anything other than the mission.

"Abby has terminal cancer, and Logan and I may need to go stay with them for a while to help out while she is in treatment."

"If it's terminal, then what treatment are they going to be doing?" My mother asks.

"We don't know if they can do anything, but we have to try every single option, even if it sounds insane."

"Oh honey, come on, let's sit down and talk."