"I can't believe he forgot!" I shout, as dramatically as I could in the nail salon without alerting too much attention.

A startled jump leaves both Sandra and the woman doing her nails. Both of their eyes shot towards me to see what was wrong. Sandra leaned forward to apologize quietly to the lady and assess the damage. Luckily for me, there weren't any.

"I don't know how he could forget something like that. When I have something I have to do after work, I dread it the whole day while I'm at work. Obviously, we are two very different people." She was right though, they were completely different people. As much as I loved both of them, Logan was just more steady, more calming, and he wasn't as good of a hype girl when I was angry at something. Most of the time he'd look at me like I was insane and carry on about his things. That's what I needed Sandra for. When I had a problem, it became her problem.

"I mean, this isn't the first time this has happened. It's just whenever he gets home from deployment I have all these expectations and he never seems to meet them." I shook my head, looking at the lady doing my nail. She acted as if she couldn't hear us, but I knew for a fact as soon as we left they were going to be discussing us. A pit formed in my stomach and reminded me why I hated going to get my nails done. It felt like high school in a way, with the employees spreading rumors about us.

"So let me speak openly without getting smacked." Sandra paused. The nail lady looked up at her with a worried look on her face, before sitting back and dropping her hand back on the side of the massage chair. The tiny rollers dug into my back, relaxing me, even if it was just a little bit.

"What?" I wasn't sure where Sandra was going to take this. But usually, when she made a comment like that, it would be followed by some sort of hot take.

"Is the problem really with Logan?" Once again, she took a pause, biting her lip as if she was waiting for me to snap at her. I had nothing to say. What did she mean was Logan really the problem? He forgot to show up to his kids' event. They didn't care to be there either, but they still had to show up. He could have at least texted or called that he was home and I could have reminded him. I can't help him out if his phone is off and it goes straight to voicemail.

"I just mean, every time he comes back you are frustrated, but it's always a unique situation and if you take a step back, they are always small things in the grand scheme of things. Either you and Logan really aren't right for each other or, and hear me out on this, Logan isn't the problem."

"Are you saying I'm the problem, then?" I would be lying if I said this sentiment did not hurt me. I know I'm not perfect, but I don't think I'm causing all these situations to spiral as they have. Sure, it's me getting angry at first, but it's at the pure neglect of Logan to read the room or understand anything to do with the situation.

"No, I'm not saying you are the problem...well unless there's a lot you aren't telling me." The manicurist went back to working on Sandra's hands, sanding, buffing, and trimming her nails to perfection. Suddenly I felt very stiff in the seat. Using my available hand, I turned the massager off. As the whir of the motor disappeared, the room felt oddly quiet again. We were on our lunch break so there weren't very many people there. A few housewives were on the other end of the shop, but that was it. "All I'm saying is there is one common enemy between the two of you and that may be the problem. You are both fighting the enemy from different sides, and when you misfire it's on each other. You need to be standing on the same side."

I was shocked at how smart that sounded when it came out of her mouth. Not because Sandra was dumb. She was brilliant, but usually, she was more laid back and free going with things that stuff like this never really seemed to slip out. It was nice to know she had a serious side to her, a genuine one that was there to help me when I needed it.

"So you are saying that neither of us are the problem and that we are perfectly in love, the military is just an asshole and causes us to feel like we are in a thruple, and I just can't seem to handle this mistress in our relationship." I chuckled to myself. Sandra nodded.

"I don't know if I would put it quite like that, but essentially you both are having issues with the military. Logan has a hard time adjusting back to real life when he's been away like that, and you have a hard time giving him the grace he needs to figure things out. That's because he's taking so much in and you are so bored with your scenery that you need this tremendous change to happen. He just needs some stability, as he's already gone through a huge chance."

"You know you are completely right!" Her words had given me a new sense of hope. She was really bringing up a good point, and I couldn't wait to talk to Logan about it tonight. Maybe this would be the mindset change we needed to get through the rest of his military career. Lucky for us, there shouldn't be any more deployments and that seemed to be the hardest part of it all.

Before I could say anything else to Sandra, she was wisped away to the other side of the shop so they could start putting the polish on her nails. I was a little behind her as my manicurist was prepping for my hot stone massage. This was something I really needed and I was so glad that Sandra and I were able to sneak away for an hour to have this conversation.

Her words echo through my head as the warm stone glide across my skin. Had I really been so dumb to think I was fighting Logan? This wasn't a war on Logan. She was completely right, all of the sweet things he had done for me even in the short time he's been home. It's not his fault he messes up. He doesn't understand the expectations when he gets home. As much as I believe he should and wish that he would, it's almost impossible for me to really hold him to that standard. He can never win when the goalposts keep shifting on him.

I made a mental note to apologize when I got home. Today was really an eye-opener for me and I hoped he was having a good day at work.

~*~

Logan picked the kids up from school, which made getting off work that much less stressful. Normally I'd be stuck in traffic rushing to get to the school in time to grab the twins and rush home in the same traffic I had just sat in. Today I was home almost a full hour earlier due to only have to sit in the traffic one direction. It felt strange though sitting in the empty car pointed towards home.

When I got the text that he was off work early and was able to swing by and grab them, my world felt like it was on a cloud. Just that one simple task was able to take a whole weight off my shoulders. I wondered what would happen if someone could take every other responsibility off my plate. Would I just float away? A woman weightless drifting through the sky like a red balloon a child just lost? I feel like I'd lose a lot of purpose in my life, and the meaning would be gone.

But my world have never been so lit up than it was when I walked through that front door to the most wonderful display of affection.

Logan and the kids stood proud of their work. A red blanket draped across the floor as a walkway, leading me to the kitchen. I followed suit, sashaying my hips for the added effect.

"Don't you look stunning," Logan whispered, giving me a kiss.

"Mommy! We are so excited you are home!" The twins shouted, holding their arms wide, waiting for a hug. I bent down, giving them the biggest mom hug I could possibly manage, my heart filling with every second they allowed me to home them.

"We wanted to thank you with a nice meal. You do so much for us and we just need to get better at showing you we appreciate you and couldn't do any of this without you." Logan gestures towards the dining room table. All of my favorite foods lined the top of it. My stomach growled, reminding me ‌I never had lunch as I was getting my nails done with Sandra.

"Oh, I'm starving." I smiled, tears formed in the corner of my eyes, begging to crash.

"Well, let's go eat then. I wouldn't want you to wither away." Logan placed his hand on the small of my back, ushering me into the dining room. His words hit me a little weird. What a strange choice of words for him to use, especially after I had just spent the last twenty minutes thinking about what it would be like to be weightless. To have no worries that I'd float away. For some reason, wither seemed like the harsher version with the same outcome. I shook my head. I needed to learn how to live in the moment better.

The kids were the first to their seats, but Logan's hand never left my back. The warmth was refreshing, especially after a long car ride.

I couldn't help but look around the room and realize how lucky I was to have this life, this family, and if I had to be honest, the military wasn't all that bad. It brought a lot of good things to our life and without it we wouldn't be as financially stable as we were. The pay wasn't amazing, but at least it was enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on our plates.

"Logan, I am so sorry!" I felt the tears finally fall. Logan turned to look at me confused by the sudden apology.

"You can't apologize. This is my apology?" He questions.

"No, I need to apologize. Sandra brought up some really good points earlier today when I was talking to her and I really need to not be so harsh on you. I need to be better at expressing my expectations to you." My voice was weak, the lump in my throat made it difficult to talk. But Logan was right there, his blue eyes staring into mine intently.

"I'm not super thrilled you were talking to Sandra about it, but if it helped you come to some realization that will help us out down the line then I can't complain too much. I hate disappointing you. I hate hurting you and not knowing how I did it so that I can avoid ever doing it again in the future." Logan shook his head, his eyes dancing around the room.

"Hurry up guys, we need to eat!" The kids shouted from the dining room.

"It's not you Logan, it was never you. We have a common enemy and that's the military. I love you! Now let's go eat dinner with the kids and we can talk more about this later. You can just take me on a date this weekend and we will hash it all out then." I winked, heading into the dining room, taking my seat, and digging into all of the best food.