Given to me by Susz13

This may be triggering for some of us. But please don't leave hate comments or things like that.

------------------------------------

Spyder :

Stupid.....

One cut, two pill.....

Pathetic.....

Two cuts, two more pills......

Ugly....

Three cuts, two more pills......

Deadweight.....

Four cuts, two more pills.....

Unwanted.....

Five cuts, two more pills.....

And so on.....

And so on.....

I started to feel light-headed by the twelfth pill or so and the pain in my arms was going numb.

I just wanted everything to be over. But when.......when did all this start. The cutting, pills, the nights I sat up silently crying my eyes out into the coolness of my pillow.

Though I may never get the answer to that life long question. Though in a few minutes it won't matter if I ever get that answer or not. The walls started to spin and my vision was getting dark.

"S-s-see I c-c-can be u-useful." I bitterly chuckled at my statement. Before I let darkness consume me.

[24 hours earlier]

"DAMMIT SPYDER, CANT YOU AIM!! " Mark shouted as the robot was thrown back, causing the crew to hit the walls and for ryan to be thrown around in the sling like a rag doll.

"I'm sorry, my bad" I mumbled. Crawling back to my station, trying to ignore the headache I was getting from hitting the wall so hard. I'm sure, I'll have bruises by morning.

"SORRY, DOESNT CUT DINGGOUS! " why does he call me those mean names. I get it, I'm stupid and useless, there's no need to remind me. He's always hated me, what did I ever do to him.

Clawbon punched the robots sides repeaditly, each time ryan screamed out in pain. I yelled for Harris to put up the shields, but it was to late. Clawbon, smashed one of his claws through the helmat and ryan's head flung back. Blood gushing from his nose.

"HARRIS GET US OUT OF HERE! " Mark yelled

Harris didn't hesitate to turn on the robots autopilot and get us back to base. Once we arrived, mark ran and got ryan out of the sling. From all the blood coating his lips, chin, neck, and shirt. You could easily tell his nose had been broken. I rushed from my station, along with harris. He didn't look any better close up, his nose was in a weird 'U' shape, there were pieces of bone sticking out, and his eyes were half open.

"O-oh my god! R-rayn I'm so sorry!" He didn't reply, well not fully anyway. Mostly just grunts and whimpers. Mark, was looking dead at me. I could feel it, even though I wasn't making eye-contact.

"U SHOULD BE SORRY! " Marks voice boomed out behind me causing me to jump and look in his direction. Not knowing what to say or do, I just stayed frozen in my spot.

"HOW ARE YOU ON THIS TEAM! YOUR SO DAMN USELESS, HE'S HURT BECAUSE OF U! YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO FUCK SOMETHING UP!" A small whimper existed my mouth. I wanted to cry so much, marks yelling reminded me of my.....dad.

"Hey man,  ease up. " Harris said, making his way over to fix up ryan.  At least he doesn't completely hate me. He's always been nice, and understanding. I was lucky to call him my friend. 

"Ease up, EASE UP!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME! He should be glad I don't kick his ass for this" he growled. He picked up Ryan and left to the med-bay. Harris put his hand on my shoulder giving it a firm squeeze. "Just give him sometime to cool off. I gotta go help ryan, you gonna be okay? " he questioned giving me a sad look.  I only nodded in response and with that he also left.  Left me all alone with thoughts. 

"Your so useless, can't even protect your friends". My fathers voice rang out in my head. Oh no not now, not here.

"That's not true, I tried!  But clawbon was to strong!" I cried out. His laughter echoed out through my head.  I held my head, pulling at my hair. 

"Your just as weak as you were when you were little. The way you'd cry and beg for me to stop at night! You remember  that, our little games." I couldn't stop the tears anymore. Memeroies of the beatings and rapes flashed through my head.

"So weak, just like always", that was the last thing I heard before everything went dark.

_____

The weapons specialist  had pasted out from all the stress he was under.  His body slowly being covered in a layer of sweat.  The poor boy flinched and mumbled every now and again.  Memeroies of the beatings and rapes giving him nightmares.

Meanwhile down in the med-bay the mechanic  was still fuming.  He paced back and fourth, muttering curses and hateful words about their weapons specialist.  The constant muttering and sound of feet moving back and fourth, starting to tick off the young genesis who was trying to patch up their unconscious friend. 

"Oh my god, mark enough! " The genesis shouted.The genesis had, had it with the mechanic.  This caught the mechanics attention quickly.

"What? " the mechanic questioned.

"Stop talking about spyder like that. He did everything that he could of possibly done, we all did." The genesis huffed.

"Are you fucking serious.  Harris look at ryan!  If that idoit had done his job right, ryan wouldn't  be in this condition and what about mech x!  Its gonna take weeks to fix all this damage! " the mechanic shouted at the genesis, clenching his fist to keep from punching a wall.....or the genesis.

"Okay I get you don't like spyder, but the way you treat him is starting to piss me off!  What could he have possibly done, huh! What do you have against him!? " The mechanic only glared at the genesis. What exactly did he have against the weapons specialist? 

"That's none of your God damn business! And where is he any!" The genesis gave a sigh of defeat.  Arguing with his partner wasn't helping the damaged technopath.  "He's still in the control room mark". The mechanic only nodded before leaving. 

The mechanic  stomped his way up the emergency ladder and into the control room. His blood boiled at the sight of the 'sleeping' weapons specialist.  He stomped over grabbing the poor boy by his shirt and violently shaking him.  This caused the boy to wake up with shout, arms instantly going up to protect his face. 

"My brother is unconscious with broken bones and YOU'RE DOWN HERE FUCKING SLEEPING"!  Scared the weapons specialist didn't say anything, he'd been in this position before and back talking only made things worse. 

But the silence only pissed the mechanic off more. He tossed the boy onto the ground earning a whimper of pain in return. "I-i-im sorry, I d-didn't mean to" the specialist whimpered. Curling into himself, trying to make himself disappear.

"You should be sorry! Ryan only let you on the team cause your his friend, but thankfully your not mine".  The mechanic started to grin, leaving the boy feeling terrified and confused. 

"What d-do you m-mean"?  That caused the mechanic to groan in annoyance.  Muttering something about the specialist being a complete idoit. 

"It means your off the team. So I don't wanna see your face here or around my brother ever again, GOT IT"!  That broke the weapons specialist heart.  He ran past the mechanic and straight home.

He searched through his drawns for the only two things that could make him feel better, to stop the pain. Mr. Blade and Mr. Pills, his trusty friends.  The weapons specialist sat down on his bed, grabbing the bottle of water.  He began downing the pills and dragging the blade down his arm.  The red liquid seeping out of his cuts, the drops mixing into the blue carpet.

He was about 13 pills in when the numbing of the pills and blood lost were starting to take their tool.  The room starting going dark,  his mind was blank.  Nothing could hurt him now or ever again.  Everything was as it should be. Painless, quiet, but most of all it was peaceful.  The weapons specialist was now free.

________

The day was Oct 12th, usually it was filled with jokes, cake, and laughter.  But not today,  all that was heard were cries and sobs.  Cries for a grandson that a grandmother would never hold again. For a grandson that a grandfather could no longer take fishing on the weekends and share war stories with.

There amongest the crowd stood a distraught technopath.  His eyes filled with tears, his shoulders shook with each sob that escaped his body.  Crying for the lost of one of his best friends.  Next to him was a shorter boy, with short dark hair. 

He stood there comforting his friend to the best of his ability.  And under a tree just a few feet away stood a boy, next to a green Cadillac.  He was taller than the other two. His brown eyes had bags under them and in his coat pocket were to things that would soon become his only friends.

Mr. Blade and Mr. Pills