لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
~ Surah Baqarah (verse 286)~

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Inaraah's p.o.v.

Inaraah's house:

It's weekend. Usually I wait for weekends but today it was dreading me. Past few days were so hectic that I didn't pay attention to anything. I was so engrossed in work that I forgot everything. But this weekend gave me a reality check. I didn't even pay a visit to orphanage. I just want to hide from everyone.

I wanted the day to end soon so I can be alone and be myself. It was 10.30 pm and I decided to move to my room. Afreen Bhabi said she will accompany me but I refused. I know what they all are up to but I don't want to be with anyone.

I went to my room and locked it from inside. I generally don't lock the door but today it's different. I went to my usual spot and sat gazing at the sky. It was unusually dark indicating that it would rain any minute. As if on the cue, it started raining and their was thunderstorm.

Rain is a blessing from Allah. It's a sign of happiness. But presently it's representing my mental state. I feel the sky is crying and without my knowledge my tears started its way down my cheeks. I couldn't hold my emotions anymore and sat by the window even though it was thundering outside.

With every passing second the rain got heavier. I sat there for don't know how long. After sometime I got and moved to my cupboard. I took my diary and went back to my previous place. Whole room was brightening due to the lightening outside. I opened a fresh page and started pouring my feelings on the paper.

Pain is always there, deeply hidden somewhere..

Heart is where it always reside, and it takes forever to subside..

When it becomes difficult to hold
in eyes, it ends up in silent cries..

To end it is what heart desire, because it becomes difficult to suspire..

Yet again it rules our heart, leaving us broken apart..

My tears were rolling continuously while writing and few fell on the paper making it wet. But I didn't bother to wipe them. I just wanna cry out everything. A knock on the door brought me out of my trance. I quickly hid the diary and after composing myself went to open the door.

Ziyaad Bhaiya was standing at the door and waiting for my permission to enter. I moved aside allowing him in the room, closing the door behind. We sat on the bed and none of us spoke for a while. Ziyaad bhaiya took my hand in his and started caressing the back of my palm.

I looked at him and the tears which I was holding started to flow on their own accord. I placed my head on his lap and started crying. He placed his hand on my head trying to soothe me. After sometime he made me to sit and gave water to drink. I broke the silence which was suffocating me and asked,

"Why don't you all hate me Bhaiya?"

"Why do you all still care and pamper me?"

"Why don't you all punish me for my mistake?"

"It's because of me you all suffered and still suffering; yet you all show affection towards me. Why?"

My voice croak at the end. Again tears started dripping down my cheeks. Ziyaad Bhaiya wiped them and placed his hand on my shoulder. I leaned on to him. I always feel secure with him. He is my strength, my protector and above all my biggest support. He is the only person who witnessed the vulnerable and broken side of mine. Deep down I knew he will come to me.

"It's not your fault Inu. It never was. It was meant to happen. We cannot change it because it was qadr Allah. Whatever happened was destined and you cannot fight your destiny." Ziyaad Bhaiya said.

Again there was silence for sometime. I was still shaking in his arms. He rubbed my back and spoke, "Five years passed away Inu and you are still stuck in it. I know we can't change the past but we have to move on. The more you think of it, the more you will suffer. Accept it and move on."

I looked at him and said, "The pain is inevitable Bhaiya. The more I try to run from it, the more it pains."

He was looking helpless. He ran his hand in his hair and said, "Face it instead of running from it. Remember that verse Inu, Allah never burden a soul beyond it can bear. Allah never burdens His servants. He knows what is good for us and what's not. Sometimes He takes away something just to make us realize that it's only Him who provide us and always replace it with something better. And I can proudly say that you have changed a lot in a good way. Even though you're not our previous Inu but you have become a better muslimah."

Bhaiya then made me lie on the bed and sat beside me. I caught hold of his shirt and he started running his fingers in my hair. I relaxed and don't know when I drifted into deep slumber.
__________________

I woke up at 7.30 since I wasn't praying these days. After freshening, I went to kitchen to prepare breakfast for everyone. As it's Sunday, everyone is taking a nap. I decided to prepare Aloo puri. After an hour, mommy came in the kitchen. I greeted her and made myself busy again. I don't want to look at her because if I do I will surely breakdown.

Once I was done, all sat to have breakfast together. All of us ate silently and I of course avoided any eye contact with them. I decided to visit orphanage today, so I informed my family and decided to leave.

"Inu wait, I'll accompany you,"Ziyaad bhaiya said.

I turned to look at him and refused politely. I just want to be away from them for sometime. I have hurt them enough and I don't want to do that again.

Little care orphanage:

When I reached the orphanage, all children ran towards me and hugged me. I smiled at them and distributed the chocolates I bought for them on my way. They dragged me with them to the ground to play with them. I happily obliged their wish and played along.

It was 12.40 when the volunteers came and asked the kids to have lunch. Everyone was there except Khushi. I went to look for her and saw Khushi standing near a group of people. I went near them and was surprised to see Rahman sir and his whole family.

"Assalamualaikum." I greeted everyone. They all replied to my salam.

"How are you Inaraah?"Azaan Bhai's mom asked.

"Alhamdullilah I'm good mam. How are you?" I asked her.

"Alhamdullilah I am good too and please don't be so formal with me. Call me aunty or anything you prefer but not mam. Okay?"She said.

I smiled nodding my head at her. I looked at Khushi who was busy eyeing baby Zeeshan. He was playing with his mother who in return kissed his cheeks. I tensed at that and observed Khushi. She was having a sad expression and her eyes longing for mother's affection.

I have to distract her so I said, "Khushi come let's have lunch. All your friends are waiting for you."
She looked at my hand which I extended for her. But instead of holding my hand she extended her arms asking me to carry her. I smiled at her and took her in my arms making my way towards the dining hall.

After lunch, the kids were put to bed for a nap. I sat next to Khushi until she was asleep. I kissed her forehead and went to meet Sahiba mam. I bid adieu to her and as well Rahman sir's wife and daughter in laws. Rahman sir and his son's went to nearby mosque to offer prayer.

At the park:

I didn't want to go home yet so I decided to visit the park nearby the orphanage. Its afternoon so no one will be there in the park. I went and sat on the park bench staring at the blue sky. My mind was clouded with Ziyaad bhaiya's words. Then I remembered the lines which I wrote to comfort Suhana.

Little darkness is needed to appreciate the light..
Little cold is necessary to value the warmth..
Little sorrow is required, to know the happiness..
Don't be upset with grief and loneliness..
Allah has planned it for us..
Follow his path and you will never lose yourself..

Unknowingly a tear slipped from my eye. Whatever happened was Qadr Allah but I'm unable to bring myself to accept it.

'It was your mistake Inu.'my brain was screaming at me.

More tears slipped from my eyes wetting my cheeks. I was still gazing at the sky when I sensed someone's presence. I turned towards my right and saw Alhaan sir standing near the bench. I quickly looked at the other side and wiped my tears.

"Inaraah, are you okay?"Alhaan sir asked.

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Alhaan's p.o.v.

Qureshi Mansion:

It's weekend and I am really happy because I don't have to go to office. I needed a break to calm myself and think about the problem we are facing in office. Aarzoo's presence was a big distraction for me yesterday and I couldn't think straight. These two days will help me sort out myself.

I asked Faizan Bhai and Azaan Bhai to help me in sorting out this problem. We sat in my room to discuss the problem. Later Abbu joined us in the discussion. And finally we found the solution to our problem. Apparently the update problem is due to software vulnerability. So first we have to work on the security of all the systems to proceed further with the project.

In the evening, we all sat together to have a family time. Mostly we spoke about my stay in London and my experience there. Azaan Bhai started pulling my leg asking me about my firangi girlfriend. Mamma gave me a questioning look about my non existing girlfriend. But thanks to Faizan Bhai who saved me. And the end result of the discussion was "Azaan Bhai heard some really Beautiful words from mamma."
Hope you all understood what I meant.

Abbu decided to pay a visit to orphanage tomorrow as it is Sunday. I knew that Abbu is one of the sponsor of the orphanage but I never got a chance to visit it. This will be my first visit to 'Little care orphanage.'
__________________________

Little care orphanage:

After breakfast, we got ready to leave for orphanage. We placed all the gifts and sweets in the car which Faizan Bhai ordered for the kids. They all settled in the car but I decided to go on my bike. It's been two years that I last saw my bike. I was so busy in office that I totally forgot about my bike. My dear brothers took great care of my bike in my absence.

I followed them behind since I don't know where the orphanage is. We reached there in half an hour. The volunteers of the orphanage helped us in carrying the gifts. A middle aged lady, Miss Sahiba welcomed us and Mamma introduced me to her.

We were talking when a little girl maybe of Ayaan's age came towards our direction. She greeted everyone which was a bit shocking to me since Ayaan always hide somewhere whenever they are guest at home.

And I got the biggest shock when I saw Inaraah. She wore a blue dress with matching hijab looking absolutely beautiful. Her voice brought me back to senses and I realized what I was thinking. I scolded myself and looked away from her. Mamma asked her to call her aunty and not be so formal with her.

She smiled at her and looked at Khushi. She tensed seeing her and took her to have lunch. I was confused as to why she got tensed. Mamma apologized to Miss Sahiba that's when I understood that Khushi became sad seeing Zeeshan who was playing with Ghazala Bhabi. Even I felt bad for her.

"Don't be sorry Mrs. Qureshi. It happens sometimes. Don't worry, Inaraah will look after Khushi."Miss Sahiba said to mamma.

"She is such a beautiful girl. How can her parents leave her like that? Mamma asked.

"No no Mrs. Qureshi her parents didn't leave her. She will soon return to her mother In sha Allah." Miss Sahiba said.

We all had a questioning look on our face. Sensing our confusion she told us everything about Khushi's mother.

'Khushi isn't an orphan. Her mother left her here a year back. Khushi's dad died in an accident when she was 6 months old. Since Khushi's paternal grand parents were dead as well, her mother Asra started living with her parents. But this didn't sit well with her younger brother's wife. She didn't want Asra and Khushi in her house even though it was Asra's elder brother and his wife who used to look after them. When Khushi was a year old, Asra started working in school so that she can contribute in the house expenses. Her parents and brother denied but she was adamant on working.

Everything was going well when Asra's health started deteriorating and she was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. She had to leave her job because of health issues. Again her younger brother's wife started making issue about the expense of her treatment and also Khushi's babysitting. Left with no choice she gave away Khushi to the orphanage and requested them not to give away Khushi to anyone until she die.'

"That's why we didn't let anyone adopt Khushi."Miss Sahiba said.

"How is her mother now? And how is she managing hospital expenses. I mean as you said her brother's wife behaviour is a bit cold towards her."Mamma asked.

"She is absolutely fine now Mrs. Qureshi. She have recovered but still she is weak. But in a month or two she will be back to take Khushi."Miss Sahiba said.

I was truly happy to hear that. Poor lady had to suffer so much in her life. May Allah grant her shifa soon. Ameen.

"And about her treatment. It was Inaraah who took care of all the expense of her treatment."Miss Sahiba spoke.

"What?" I blurted out without thinking. Miss Sahiba looked at me and smiled.

"Yes Mr. Alhaan. Actually when Asra came to drop Khushi in the orphanage Inaraah was here. She came to donate her first salary to the orphanage. After listening to Asra, she took the charge of her treatment and also promised her to look after Khushi. That's the reason Khushi is so close to Inaraah.
Not only that every month Inaraah's family feeds the poor for Asra's well being."Miss Sahiba stated.

To say I was shocked to hear that would be an understatement. I looked at my family who was equally surprised as me. How can someone be so good at heart. After knowing about Inaraah, my respect for her increased even more.

"May Allah reward her for this" Mamma said. We all said ameen in unison.

It was 1.15 and we went to nearby mosque to offer prayer. The mosque was beautiful though it wasn't big. The walls of the mosque were green in colour and the floor was marbled. One side of the mosque had a big rack having Quran and various Islamic books. It looked like a library. It is one of the most beautiful mosque I have seen so far.

When we were returning to orphanage after prayer, I saw Inaraah going towards the left side from orphanage. I was curious to know where she was going since the main road is towards right side. Faizan Bhai was next to me so I thought to ask him.

"Bhai where does this way lead to?"I asked him. I tried my best to be casual and doesn't sound like that of a desperate person.

"Oh that. There is a small park that side. Generally these kids go and play there."Bhai said.

I nodded at him and said, "Bhai you all go, I have some work. I'll see you all later. He looked at me suspiciously but didn't say anything. As soon as they went inside the orphanage, I went towards the park. I don't know why I'm going there but all I know is I want to be with Inaraah.

At the park:

I saw her sitting at the park bench staring at the sky. I made my way towards her and stood near the bench. She looked at my side and I was shocked to see her in tears. She immediately looked at the other side and wiped her tears. I couldn't control myself seeing her like that.

"Inaraah, are you okay?"I asked her.

She looked at me and managed a smile which was completely fake and said, "Yes I am fine."

I sat beside her to comfort her but she moved towards the other side of bench creating distance between us. She again started looking at the sky and the silence was killing me. So I decided to start a conversation.

"You know Inaraah, my mamma says sharing your pain with others will make you feel light. Maybe they can't help you but you will feel good by letting it out." I said her hoping she might share her problem with me. She was still gazing the sky and without looking at me, she said
"Somethings are so painful that it cannot be shared. It only makes us more miserable."

Her reply made me more curious. I was about to speak when her phone started ringing. She answered the call and spoke with the person who I suppose was her brother. After finishing the call she got up to leave but I stopped her.

"You can share anything with me Inaraah. I am here to listen and help you in any way I can." I don't know why I said that but I didn't like her leaving like that. I want to know what's troubling her.

"Allahafiz sir" that's all she said and left the place leaving me and my thoughts dangling. I stood at my place till she was out of my sight. I sat on the bench lost in her thoughts. The bustling of my phone brought me back to reality. Faizan Bhai was calling me that's when I realized they'll are waiting for me. I picked the call and a very annoyed Faizan Bhai asked, "Where are you Chote? We all are waiting for you here. Did you see the time?"

He was surely controlling his temper. I looked at the watch which showed 7 minutes past 5. I was sitting here for nearly 3 hours.

'That's the reason he is annoyed'

"I'm sorry Bhai. I just caught up with something. You all please head home. I'll come home after offering Asr salah"I said.

He disconnected the call without saying anything. He must be really mad at me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I completely forgot about my family.

'What are you Inaraah? Why do you always meddle up with my thoughts? What is it that's troubling you?'

I had so many questions but no answer. I head towards the same mosque and offered my prayer. When I reached home, everyone was busy talking. I know what's coming up next.

"Mamma I am really sorry for my irresponsible act. But please don't avoid me." I said her with hopeful eyes.

But all I got in return was silence. I hate this thing. Whenever I do something wrong, mamma goes all silent instead of scolding me. She very well know that I can't stay without talking to her yet she does that. I looked at everyone who very smoothly avoided me.

I went near Abbu but before I could speak, he said "I understand Chote that you had some work. But the least you could have done was inform us that you'll be late. We were really worried when you didn't show up for hours. I won't stop you from anything Chote but at least be responsible enough to inform us about your whereabouts."

"I am really very sorry Abbu. I lost the track of time. I know it's my fault and I really am sorry for that. And I promise this won't happen again. Please ask them to talk to me. Please Abbu." I said.

"Well this isn't new for us. You always do that. You will do what you want and in the end say sorry. I am done with your imprudent behaviour Chote" Mamma retorted

I went and sat next to her. I didn't say a word and hugged her. I know this will work. After all none can resist Alhaan Rahman Qureshi's charm.

'Inaraah is an exception here Mr. Qureshi, my brain counter at me.'

I ignored that and looked at mamma with hopeful eyes. She hugged me and kissed my forehead. Well I knew, this will be the end result.

"Don't ever do such things again,"Mamma said.

"Never ever." I replied.

Mamma and Bhabis got up and left to check the dinner menu. It was nearing magrib so I decided to fresh up and move to offer prayer.

After dinner, I went towards the lawn and sat there. My thoughts went back to Inaraah. Don't know why I have an urge to comfort her, to care for her. I was so engrossed that I didn't know when both my brothers joined me.

"What are you thinking so deeply Chote?"Azaan Bhai asked.

I wasn't thinking straight at the moment and blurted out, "About Inaraah."

"Kya (What)?" Both my brothers said at a time staring at me with shock all over their face. I face palm myself for being an idiot.