Alhaan's p.o.v:

Mrs. Fatima's cabin:

Sometimes waiting for someone special feels like eternity and that's exactly what I am feeling. I asked Azaan bhai to somehow send Inaraah to Fatima aunty's cabin so I can tell her everything. I told about our engagement to Fatima aunty since she will be our chaperone. At first she was shocked but later she showered her blessings upon us.

The knock on the door grabbed our attention. The door opened and in walked Inaraah. "Assalamualaikum(May peace of Allah be upon you) aun.." Inaraah greeted but stopped abruptly seeing me. She looked hurt but composed herself. "Walaikum asalam(Peace of Allah be upon you too)" we both replied to her greeting.

Fatima aunty got up from her place and moved towards Inaraah. "Congratulations Inaraah. I am so happy for you. May Allah always shower His blessings on you both." Fatima aunty said hugging her while Inaraah stood silent confused at her reaction. It took few seconds for her to realize and then as always her eyes went wide. Sometimes I wonder whether or not her eyes get strained from going wide.

"I am sorry Inaraah. Alhaan mentioned about the circumstances of your engagement. I was curious when he requested me to be your chaperone since he wants to speak to you. That's why he told me everything but I guess you didn't like me knowing about it." Fatima aunty spoke in apologizing tone.

"No aunty please. I am sorry for my behaviour. It's just that I didn't expect it and was shocked. Instead I should be the one apologizing for not telling you before. You are like a motherly figure to me. Please don't apologize and make me feel low." Inaraah said. I smiled at her reply. She always think of others and their feelings and here I am being selfish hiding the truth in a fear that I will lose her.

"It's okay Inaraah. I will leave now. I will be in the next room but will be keeping an eye on you both from this glass window. Your would be husband is desperate to talk to you." Fatima aunty said in a teasing tone. As if Azaan bhai and Tauhid weren't enough and now even she started teasing.

I looked at Inaraah who was staring the floor probably embarrassed with her teasing. A light shade of pink appearing on her cheeks. Wait!! Is she blushing? I couldn't resist myself from smiling. This is the first time I saw her blushing and damn she look cute. Fatima aunty left leaving us alone to talk.

I cleared my throat and said, "Please take a seat Inaraah." She just gave a nod and pulled the chair next to me and sat creating enough distance between us. I started feeling nervous and was getting a bad feeling as if something wrong is going to happen after this conversation. I pushed those thoughts aside and spoke, "Inaraah I want to tell you something. It's about Aarzoo and me."

Her gaze which was on her hand moved towards me. She looked hurt but tried her best to cover up. I could make out that she was about to say something but stayed mum. She just nodded her head and again looked at her hands. I didn't expect such reaction from her, then again she is Inaraah who is different from others. I took a deep breath and started telling her about my past.

(A/n: Alhaan's past will be written in italics to avoid confusion.)

Tauhid and I wanted to be software engineers so we decided to do our engineering from same college. At first we had very formal conversation with our classmates but as days passed we made many new friends. Even though we maintained safe distance from girls but Aarzoo was different from the other girls.

She was outspoken and independent. She used to be with us all the time and I was kind of attracted towards her. Tauhid though maintained distance with her while I was always engaged in some or the other conversation with her. Being with her, I started opposing Islamic teachings saying that it was the society who made such norms. Tauhid tried to make me understand but I didn't pay heed to him.

Orthodox Muslim- They aren't educated and fill up people's brain asking them to follow everything blindly. That's what I started saying being in her company. Seeing our bonding, everyone started thinking that we were a couple. When I was about to clear the misunderstanding, Aarzoo stopped me saying we don't need to explain ourselves to others. I agreed with her and stopped paying attention to them.

Tauhid being the best friend he is, tried to make others understand but Aarzoo was offended with his act. To handle the situation, I requested Tauhid not to interfere in this matter. I still hate myself for saying those words to him. He was just helping me and I was nothing but rude. Everything changed after that. Tauhid used to be with me but our friendship wasn't normal like before. He used to choose his words wisely before speaking and I felt that somehow an invisible barrier came between us.

Days were passing and the rumours of us being in relationship became the hot topic. But what was unexpected that Aarzoo openly said everyone that we were dating. I was shocked to hear that and decided to talk to her about it. When I confronted her, she started crying saying she liked me and that how humiliating it would be when everyone will make fun of her. I didn't know what to do so I agreed to her wish to prevent her from humiliation.

I hated this forced relationship but I had to do it for Aarzoo. On the other hand, my friendship with Tauhid was becoming a formal one. During exams, he made sure that my focus was completely on studies but after that he again went back to being a formal friend. My brothers started noticing changes in me. I used to frequently go on outing and many times missed my prayers as well. They even confronted me about that and for the first time I lied to my brothers.

I started hating myself. I was on the verge of losing my best friend, started lying to my brother's and above all missed prayers just for the namesake forced relationship. So I decided to put an end to all this nonsense. And for that I first need to mend my friendship with Tauhid. After apologizing to him for everything I did, I went to my brothers and confessed everything. They were hurt and angry on me, but they loved me so much to forgive me and asked me to rectify my mistake.

However, Aarzoo made a fuss of it. She blamed me that I used her to get people's attention and finally dumped her. I wanted to counter her back saying it was her who used me but again she started crying. I was again in a situation where I didn't knew what to do. So I told her that it's better we focus on our studies and built a career first. Once we are settled in our career we can go ahead with this relationship.

Don't know why I said that to her because I never had interest in relationships. But I thought it is because of me we are in that situation making me feel more guilty than I was earlier. After that I focused on my studies completely and Tauhid and I joined our company for project. We stopped going to college and spent 3 months doing our project.

One day Tauhid and I took a half day leave from office and went to mall to hangout and relax ourselves. There we saw Aarzoo hanging out with a guy. I knew him from the business parties I attended and came to know that she was dating him. Instead of feeling bad or betrayed, I was very happy to know that. Happy that now I can end everything and won't be blamed for it.

During the last days of our college, she came to me to end everything. She blamed me saying I forced her to do so and that it was my fault that it didn't work out between us. She didn't knew that I know the whole truth. I kept quite not wanting another round of melodrama. After our exams, Tauhid and I joined office as interns and was working hard giving our 100% to the company.

Abbu started praising our work and was very proud of me. Whenever people question him about his achievements and success he used to give credits to us. He always used to tell people how his sons were dedicated towards work and Islam and not influenced by the surroundings. The guilt which I felt before came back making me ashamed of myself. I felt like I betrayed my parents. I decided to tell them everything but Faizan bhai stopped me saying they will be hurt. But seeing the pride which reflected in their eyes for me was killing me.

I wanted to get rid of all this, so I decided to go to London. Abbu and Mamma didn't wanted me to leave but Faizan bhai convinced them saying it's for the betterment and bright future of the company and even me. It took time for them to understand but eventually they gave in. I really didn't wanted to go but I had to because I wanted to make myself worthy of the pride that reflect in my parents eyes. And that's why I left for two years, to become a better person but most importantly a better Muslim.

________________

After the confession, I felt much better and relaxed. I looked at Inaraah waiting for her response. From the look on her face, it felt like she was contemplating whether to speak or not. After a while she voiced out her thoughts which were enough to hurt me.

***********************************

Inaraah's p.o.v

Mrs. Fatima's cabin:

Everything is a mess for me right now. I don't know what to do. It feels like people are controlling my life. I was sitting in my cubicle when Azaan bhai came to me and said Fatima aunty wants to meet me regarding something. I was confused as to why she wants to meet me in working hours. I mean I was however going to meet her during lunch. I had a blank look but nevertheless got up and went to meet her.

When I entered her cabin, I was shocked to see Alhaan sir and again those images flashed in my mind. I composed myself trying to act normal when Fatima aunty hugged and congratulated me. At first I was confused but later understood what she was implying. After yesterday I really don't want anyone to know about our engagement and I guess it reflected on my face because Fatima aunty started apologizing. I felt bad when she apologized to me. No matter what the situation is, she is like my mother and I don't like her apologizing like that.

After few minutes of teasing she left but not before warning that she is watching us. I looked at the floor not knowing what to do. Sir asked me to take a seat and I just nodded. I pulled the chair next to him and sat down making sure that there is enough distance between us. When he said that he wants to tell me something related to Aarzoo and him, I felt hurt. I wanted to tell him that I know about it but words weren't coming out of my mouth. So I just gave a nod gesturing him to continue.

I was keenly listening to him trying to process his words. A part of me felt bad knowing he had done so much to protect Aarzoo from any sort of humiliation. Allah knows how his parents might have felt when he decided to go to London. After confessing about his past, he looked at me waiting for my response. Even though I didn't look at him but I could feel his gaze on me. I wanted to believe him and I know my heart trusts him but my mind said otherwise. Previous days images flashed in my mind and Aarzoo's words kept ringing in my ears.

I looked at him not knowing what to say and whom to believe. I took a deep breath and finally spoke, "I don't know what to say. You hardly know me but Aarzoo and you know each other from a long time. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and I suggest you to once again think about your decision of marrying me." Alhaan sir looked hurt when those words slipped out of my tongue. I was feeling hurt too but I don't want to come in between them.

"What? Inaraah do you even know what you are saying? I didn't tell you about my past so that I can reconsider my decision of marrying you." He replied. I wanted to inform him about yesterday's incident but stopped myself. I don't have enough courage to tell him about it. "I know what I am talking about sir. You don't have to marry me to show Aarzoo that you have moved on." I said looking at my hands.

"You think I am using you to make Aarzoo believe that I have moved on. I didn't knew you think so low of me." Alhaan sir said. I could feel the pain in his voice. I am really hating myself for uttering those words. I glanced at him who looked vulnerable and beyond hurt. My heart squeezed seeing him in that state and a lump formed in my throat. I know I am about to cry so I excused myself leaving him behind. As soon as I left the cabin, tears started to stream down my face. I wipe them and after composing myself made my way back to the office.

At the office:

I reached office and saw Rahman sir is standing with Faizan sir near the door which leads to his cabin. They looked at my way and I greeted them. They replied to my greeting and Rahman sir placed his hand on my head to bless me.

"How are you Inaraah? Azaan informed me that you took a half day leave yesterday since you weren't feeling well. Did you visit a doctor?" He asked me. I felt happy seeing his concern for me.

"Alhamdullilah(all praise to Allah) I'm fine now sir." I replied. "You still look pale. Why don't you take leave from office? Work is important but not more than health." Rahman sir said.

It's because I am unable to hold on to my pain. I guess he is right. I should take a leave from office so that I can clear my mind. Tomorrow is Friday that means I can join office on Monday. Three days will at least help me to relax.

"Uhh... Can I take an off tomorrow?" I asked in a nervous tone. "Of course Inaraah you can. Your health is our first priority. Don't stress yourself and take as many leaves you want." Faizan sir answered making me smile. I mumbled a thanks and was about to move inside but stop remembering something.

I turned towards Rahman sir and said, "I am sorry about the condition. I didn't mean to put you all in that situation where you had no option but to accept my condition. Everything happened so fast that I couldn't fathom what to do. I am really sorry." Again I could feel the lump forming in my throat

"Don't be sorry Inaraah. We can understand your situation. I can accept any number of conditions to make you my daughter. I always wanted a daughter but Allah has blessed me with three daughters who will always be with me." Rahman sir spoke making me guilty. I don't deserve so much love and respect. He thinks of me as a daughter and I just ............. Argh!!! With every passing minute I am hating myself.

I managed to smile somehow and made my way towards my cubicle to avoid everyone. I cannot take it anymore. It's nobody but my fault, completely mine. Everyone will be hurt because of me. 'You are a sore loser Inu, my brain taunted.' I completely agree with it. I am a loser, a big L. O. S. E. R.

And as if my brain wasn't enough, somebody else also started taunting me indirectly. Yeah none other than Aarzoo. She gathered our teammates and started narrating them about the girls in her previous office. How they used to act all innocent and try to trap their boss or men who were at higher posts. I know all those were directed to me but I chose to ignore and focused on my computer screen.

"If you are done gossiping about your previous office then I would really appreciate if you all get back to your work." A voice roared from behind and I didn't need to turn to look at the person. I know it's Alhaan sir. I didn't look at him but could see him standing and glaring at everyone. Due to the lights, I could see his reflection on my computer screen.

"Ms. Aarzoo if you are so interested in gossiping then I suggest you better quit the job and open a gossiping academy." Alhaan sir scolded her. He looked at my way from time to time but I kept my eyes fixed on the screen. I already regret my words and looking at him will only make me weak. He looked in my direction for one last time and moved to his cabin. I closed my eyes thinking about the mess I created.

Inaraah's home:

After coming home I avoided talking to my family. I already spoke enough for the day and don't have energy to create more problems. Fahad bhaiya looked at my way many times but I ignored it. I know what he wants to talk about but right now I am not in a position to answer anyone.

Successfully avoiding my family, I came back to my room. I want to bang my head on the wall for the mess I have created. I feel like a coward. I didn't have guts to tell Alhaan sir about the previous day incident and now I didn't inform my brothers about the meeting I had with Alhaan sir.

I am surrounded with so many people who truly love me but still I feel lonely. So I went to the only one who listens to me without questioning back - My diary. I took it from my cupboard and went to my favourite spot. Sitting by the window I let my diary absorb my feelings and emotions.

Every single nook and corner..
Screams that I am a loner..

The darkness of the room..
Is where my heart gloom..

I tried to conquer my pain..
But everything went in vain..

Every inch of me wants to fight..
To overcome this plight..

Everything is messed up and gross..
And still I'm calm in my own chaos..

I have a feeling that I am gonna pay for my silence. My silence is not only hurting me but also the people around me. I will sort out everything in three days. With that thought in mind, I got up and went to bed.