Nola Scott

Worlds were approaching quickly.

As much as I wished time would stop for a while, it didn't. Practices were getting tougher but I was able to pull it together. Coach Laurel occasionally made me do my routine in whole to start getting me used to it. By now, all we were doing was perfecting my jumps and performance. While I was scared, I was also excited.

Excited for the potential of winning at Worlds and then participating at Worlds. Then in a year or so, I'd hit the ice on the Olympic stage. I was trying not to get too ahead of myself. There were still two competitions before then and they were as equally important. Training for Worlds had to be the hardest thing I'd done up until now but it was worth it.

I could see how much stronger I was getting. Not just in figure skating but emotionally and physically. My physique was better than it had been in years. Eating healthy and training every day worked a lot better than I imagined. Since figure skating was becoming my main focus, there wasn't much time for anything else.

Ember would tell me about everything she was doing this semester. Frat parties, nights out at the bars, late night studying in the library. Those were things I had been missing out on because of figure skating. I didn't mind because the goal I was trying to reach was bigger than any of those things. But I was still a nineteen-year-old girl, I had terrible FOMO. So now I was living vicariously through my roommate.

It was Saturday evening and Ember was getting ready to go out. I lay in her bed as she decided on something to wear. "How about this one?" She turned away from her mirror to face me. This was about her tenth outfit change of the night. "Em, just like the last one, it's great! He will eat you up in anything you wear." I smirk, thinking about JT.

The two of them had finally talked for the first time in a while last week. JT was taking her out tonight but Ember swore it wasn't a 'date'. Just two friends going out. I even heard that Miles had actually let Jay borrow the BMW tonight. Never the Lambo.

"I don't want him to eat me up, Nola. We're just friends." My words brought a flush to her cheeks and she turned around again to change. "Right," I said in almost a whisper. My phone vibrated against my thigh.

JT: Is she almost ready? Why am I nervous? Is she nervous? Say yes.

I laugh a little bit. I've been texting him since earlier about this and been around Ember the whole day. It's fun to see both sides of this.

Miles: The kid is shitting himself.

Miles' text almost makes me flinch. I haven't talked to him much since the night of Jess's wedding. When I came to drop off JT and saw he was with Allie...again. It hurt a little I can't lie. It's been about two weeks but I still can't process what happened that night. How I feel about him is a blurry mess. I don't want to have feelings for him but it's hard not to. He's such a great guy. Like too good to be true.

My whole life, I've always gotten my heart broken by guys because of how fast I give it to them. As I started getting older, I tried to stop doing that. Because nothing hurt more than falling for someone so deeply and then figuring out their feelings aren't even remotely close to yours. It's obvious that I wasn't trying to fall for Miles when I first met him.

I thought what we had would stay a friendship. He's a professional hockey player for fucks sake. I didn't think I'd be texting and seeing this guy multiple times a week. We became good friends these last two months and now feelings were forming. How pathetic is that? I haven't even known the guy for two months and I've already attempted - and failed - to kiss him.

I'm just confused.

Yes, I wanted to kiss him. But he was the one who leaned in. And then pulled away. If he was already back together with Allie, why did he do that? He played with my feelings so much in that moment. My heart almost dropped out of my ass when he pulled away and said he didn't mean to do what he did. It wasn't a good feeling at all.

I was so scared to face even more rejection that I never asked why he did that. In my head, it was better to just move on from the situation without knowing any further details. I'm sure he would have told me something if I asked. In that moment, I would have rather jumped off a bridge than ask why he rejected me. So I didn't. I kept my mouth shut.

My heart beats faster all of a sudden and I decide to text back JT first.

Nola: yes. you shouldn't be. & yes, but don't tell her i told you that.

After adding a smiley face, I press send. When I look up, Ember is back in outfit... six? I can't remember anymore. "This is the one," she says, nodding quickly like she's trying to convince herself. "Perfect." I smile as she walks back over to fix her makeup again.

Nola: he'll be alright.

I'm shocked when Miles replies quickly.

Miles: How's Ember?

Nola: she's doing good. i'm sure they'll both be calmer in each other's presence.

Miles: Hope so. JT just left and I don't want to get a call in the next hour that my cars totaled.

My lips lift slightly at his text but I don't reply. Ember comes out of the bathroom and stands in front of me. "Do I look fine?" she asks sounding like she's out of breath. I stand from her bed and walk over to her. "You look gorgeous. He's on his way, Miles let me know," I tell her. Her eyes widen a little bit but they quickly narrow. "Miles texted you?" she asks.

I roll my eyes. "Yes." She smiles at that, happy to take the attention away from her. "There hasn't been much texting between the two of you in a while," she adds. She's right about that. When there is texting between us, he's usually the one who sends the first text. "You have everything you need?" I ask, changing the subject.

Ember smiles but luckily doesn't try and talk about it anymore. "Yes. You think it'll go well?" she questions. "Yes. As long as you two listen to what each other has to say. Also, be prepared. If anyone notices Jay, photos will be snapped," I say. I've never been spotted with Miles or JT, so I've been excluded from that but I know it's a possibility. It's happened to them before.

"I already made my Instagram private again," she assures me with a firm nod. The two of us wait in the living room for JT. It takes him a good fifteen minutes for him to arrive after Miles' text. Ember gasps when she hears the knock. "You got it!" I tell her, standing up with her. I see the panic in her face but I keep assuring her. She takes a deep breath before opening the door.

Making sure not to be noticed, I stand away from view and watch their short interaction. Ember smiles nervously at me before she closes the door behind her. I give them about five minutes to leave before I'm out the door myself. It's Saturday night and I have no plans besides hearing how Ember's date is going to go. I thought I'd have a movie night by myself but we didn't have any snacks - healthy ones at least.

My basket of snacks is almost full, getting too heavy to carry. I might have gotten carried away and added a couple of groceries we needed. The shopping carts were too far so I stuck with the basket but I'm regretting it, using my leg to help me lift it as I glance at the stocked shelves for my favorite granola bars. "Crap," I whisper, almost dropping everything.

"Nola? Is that you?" A voice catches me off guard, again, almost making me spill everything. I set the basket down on the ground and turn over to where the voice came from. A smiley blonde comes over to me once she notices me. Her tall boyfriend walks behind her with a shopping cart. I could use one of those. "Hi," I greet.

Kaitlyn catches me off guard by pulling me in for a hug. I pat her back and Tate smiles at me. "Long time, no see. What have you been up to?" she asks, leaning back against the cart. "Figure skating has kept me busy. How have you guys been?" I look at both of them. Kaitlyn turns to look at Tate shortly before turning back to me.

"Actually, we were grabbing a couple of things to make dinner tonight. Tate and Miles are going to whip up some steaks, you should come! Miles would love to see you," she says cheerfully. The mention of Miles makes me nervous. "Don't worry, we won't be cooking. We'll leave it up to them. All we have to do is sit and watch hockey until the boys call us, maybe even drink a little wine."

She turns around and grabs a bottle of wine from the cart, waving it in front of me. Tate probably senses my hesitation because he says, "You don't have to, Nola. But the invitation is open." I'd feel like a dick if I said no. It is not like I don't want to go, I'm just scared of seeing Miles. Oh, God, what if Allie is there? My face feels hot all of a sudden and I clear my throat before speaking.

"Whose all going?" I squeak out, cringing at myself. "It's just going to be us and Miles. We invited Jason but I'm sure you know he's with your roommate," Kait says. I'm surprised they even know about that. I didn't think many people knew. Relief floods me at no mention of Allie but I start to remember that Kaitlyn's made it clear she doesn't like her.

Even if she's not going, seeing Miles after him being with Allie doesn't sound too fun. But because I'm too nice and suck at saying no...

"Sounds good." I force a smile onto my lips as Kait's smile only grows. "Need help with that?" Tate speaks up. He's looking down at my basket with a smirk on his face. Crap, he probably saw me struggling. My cheeks flush from embarrassment. "Please." He nods and makes his way to my basket, picking it up with ease and setting it onto their cart.

Kait grabs my hand and intertwines our arms. "Were you done shopping? We were about to check out." I look over to the shelves again and pick out the last item, throwing it into the basket. "Done."

***

We paid for our groceries, and Kait and Tate paid for mine as much as I insisted that it was okay. Kait promised me she would ask me for a favor one day to make up for it. She texted me their address and I followed after them. Like Miles, the couple lived in a gated neighborhood that was a little farther than his house. I was in awe at their house too. It was as big as Miles'. Black and white from the outside. A balcony on what I'm assuming is the master bedroom.

The familiar black Lamborghini was already parked in their driveway and I admired the house instead of focusing on him. I'm sure he had noticed me already. "Your house is absolutely beautiful, guys," I say, looking up at the large home. "He picked good, didn't he?" Kait elbowed my arm lightly. "I hope you don't mind our other guest, Miles."

I finally gather the balls to look over at him. He's already looking at me. "Of course not." I shut the door to my car and the four of us walk over to the front door. Miles and Tate carry the groceries inside. "Wine anyone?" Kait asks, twisting off the cork. Both of the guys ask for some, but I don't. It's been a while since I've had a drink and if I'm going to eat stuff out of my diet, I rather not mix both.

Kait hands me sparkling water instead and we make our way to the living room to get out of the boy's hair. Honestly, I prefer it to be just Kait and me. It helps me not be so awkward with Miles. It still feels weird being around him.

Since the first time I met her, I picked up on the fact that Kait was a talker. It didn't bother me because I could be that way if I was comfortable and a lot of people in my family were the same way. I was used to it. She talked about how the boys had a game earlier which I had forgotten about. Supposedly they beat the Penguins 6-0.

Miles had gotten half of those goals. I wasn't surprised. He's amazing at what he does. We also talked about figure skating which Kait still found very interesting. She asked me so many questions and it honestly made me happy that she took an interest in what I do. Most of the time, people just say 'oh' when I tell them I'm a figure skater.

Only a select few people find it somewhat amusing.

"Babe, want to come help me mash these potatoes and give Miles a break?" Tate popped his head around the corner about an hour later to say. "Yeah, sure," Kait said and stood up from the couch. "Be back in a little." She followed Tate into the kitchen and I was relieved when Miles didn't come in here to join me.

That didn't last long because as footsteps approached, Miles' face was the one I saw coming through the arch that separated the two rooms. I held back a groan that tried escaping my lips. The eye contact had already been made so I didn't try acting like I hadn't seen him. He sighed as he fell back on the loveseat.

The smell of food radiated off him and it made my belly growl. I hadn't had a delicious meal in weeks. "How do you think the kid and Ember are doing?" He was the first to break the silence. The only sound came from the tv which streamed their game from earlier. Miles paid no attention to it. "Good." That was my short reply.

I had been thinking about how well their date was going. Hopefully, they would come back in love and be happy again. It had been too long since they were on good terms.

Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen them on good terms. "JT was adamant on fixing things tonight so maybe," Miles says. I give him a short nod before focusing on the game again. I've never been a hockey fan and even if I'm friends with two people who play the sport, I can't say I'm the biggest fan still. Yet, I'm focusing on the tv like it's my favorite sport in the world.

"Alright, give it to me."

My head shifts in Miles's direction. I didn't know if he was speaking to me or not but when I see his magnetic gray eyes focused on solely me, I realize he is. "Huh?" is all that comes out of my mouth. A light stubble grows on his jaw and upper lip and his jaw looks so sharp. He might be clenching it because I see the muscles moving. With his gray eyes looking at me the way they are, it's hard to focus.

"I know you're upset at me and I want to get to the bottom of it. I don't like the silence between us," he says, catching me off guard. I've always known he's been forward but that second sentence is what caught my attention more than the first. "I've been busy. Did you forget Worlds is in less than two months now?" Using figure skating as my out is something I do all the time.

I doubt Miles even believes me anymore. It just makes the most sense and is somewhat true.

He shakes his head. "No, I didn't, but figure skating has nothing to do with you ignoring me and you know it. Just be honest, Scott. You won't hurt my feelings." But you hurt mine. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. I tend to appreciate honesty. When someone is honest with me, it makes me feel a lot better about situations.

In this case, it's different. Miles' truth could possibly hurt me. I don't think I want to be hurt. The only thing pushing me to ask questions is the fact that I'm nosy. Miles rises his brows at me like he's waiting for me to say something. He's looking at me like I'm the reason we haven't spoken. Yes, I haven't been speaking to him but that's because he did something that made me distance myself.

"Was there a reason you leaned in for a kiss despite dating Allie?" That's what slips out of my mouth. My brain wasn't able to process the words quickly enough before they came out. I can see the shock on Miles' face. I don't think he thought I would ask something like that. This time, it is me raising my brows for a response. "I'm not dating Allie. And I wasn't with her again when that happened. It was after," he admits.

Just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse. His words fly around in my brain, hitting each other and giving me a headache. We almost kissed and then he wanted Allie back. I made him realize he wanted to be with her again.

"That only lasted so long anyway. Me and her aren't together anymore. It's staying like that too." He said that last time. I don't believe him and I won't until he proves me right. The fact that they're no longer together doesn't even soothe me. I can't stop thinking about him almost kissing me and then wanting to get back together with Allie afterward.

My stomach is suddenly in knots and I start to regret even opening my mouth. "I'm sorry, Scott. I didn't mean to almost kiss you that night and I don't want anything to change because of this. If you have anything else to ask me, I'll answer you truthfully. That's all I'm trying to do. Mend this. Not talking to you kind of sucks."

That last sentence makes my head shoot up to look at him. I see the sincerity in his light eyes but it still hurts. His words before that hurt.

I didn't mean to almost kiss you.

"Why did you start things up with Allie again after the things you've told me about her?" I ask. Miles has never talked bad about her but he has mentioned a few things he didn't like about her. I've also heard stories from Kaitlyn and Dahlia about how rude she was to them and other girls. I don't know if Miles knows about those things.

He doesn't answer me quickly but he's looking at me the whole time like he's trying to come up with a good answer to give me. Finally, he says, "I wasn't planning on it but she called me up one night and I just..." He shrugs. Terrible answer. Did he take that long just to come up with that?

Why are men so stupid?

Before I can say anything else, Kaitlyn peaks her head through the arch and tells us that the food is ready. I'm on my feet quickly and so is Miles. "Nola," he says my first name as I start to walk past him to the kitchen. He grabs my wrist when I make no plans to stop. It causes me to stop in my steps and as much as I want to pull my arm away from his hold, I don't.

I only turn my head but can get a good view of him. His gray eyes are full of apologies. I forgive him. I do. That doesn't mean that he didn't hurt me, but I'll never tell him that. It's clear we're both looking at this situation differently.

"We're fine. I just wanted the answer to those questions," I say, my voice coming out too soft for my liking. His grip tightens on my wrist but it doesn't hurt. It only shoots goosebumps up my thighs. I hate that he makes me feel like this. If I could stop it, I would. "Are you sure?" he asks then. I try my best to give him a believable smile. "Yes. I was just confused but I understand now."

I slowly pulled my arm out of his grip and stepped forward. "Now I don't know about you, but I'm hungry, so." I let my words trail as I shoot him a wink before making my way into the kitchen with Tate and Kaitlyn. As soon as I turned away from Miles, my smile faded.

I wanted to be okay with everything but my stupid feelings weren't allowing me to. These feelings were too strong for even me to deal with and it scared me shitless.