1 month later..

2020, September 24
12 AM

User ID #0354

Jagiyaaaaaaaaa

Happy monthsary!

User ID #0354 sent a gif:

You're too advance!

It should be at 8 am later not now

But omg thank you babe ❤

Happy monthsary!

How I wish I can cuddle you

Virtual hug!

User ID #0354 wants to
video call you..

Answer | Decline

"Hi baby," I greeted him first after I answered the call. Apparently, Seungyoun is lying on his bed and he's wearing an eyeglasses. His eyes we're a bit smaller than usual, maybe because he just woke up to greet me. What a thoughtful boyfriend!

My boyfriend smiled at me beautifully--the kind of smile that melts me every time. He will never fail to make me feel I'm worthy because his smile every time he sees me is too pure and whipped.

Hours from now, we'll be literally celebrating our first monthsary as a couple. Before, I only get to celebrate his birthday without him knowing. I slide to his dm at instagram every occassion to greet him but he never saw it. But now, it's different. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second, we celebrate our happy hearts with each other.

"Happy monthsary bear," he said using his bedroom voice, an evidence that he just woke up. How I wish I was sleeping beside him so I could hear his bedroom voice naturally.

My stomach tingled at his greeting and his voice. Damn!

Just like him, I'm lying in my bed. The difference is, I fixed myself before answering his call. I washed my face and even brushed my teeth for the second time tonight even if he will not smell my breath. I combed my hair and applied some lipstick. The thing we do for love.

"Happy monthsary," I whispered. He winked at me causing me to blush.

"Stop making me blush! I'm afraid I can't get some sleep because I'll think about you!" This time, I winked at him. He then laughed like he just seen the most ridiculous thing.

"It's fine.. atleast the cause of you're lack of sleep is me?" He teased then laughed again. Can I gather his laugh and place it on a jar? I really want to have a jar full of his laughs so whenever his busy, I can get one. Ugh. The power of Cho Seungyoun beholds.

"Why do you keep staring at me? I wanna talk to you.." Seungyoun asked confusedly.

I shook my head. "You're too beautiful to be true and too far to be mine but you're mine so, just mesmerized by your hotness Mr. Cho."

He lifted his left brow at me, his non-existent brow. "Did you put lipstick?" He creased his forehead and pointed at my lips.

I pouted like a duck so he could see. "The things I do for you. You know, it's totally hard to have the most handsome boy as your boyfriend so applying lipstick is just normal."

His forehead remained the same. I sensed that he did not like it. Why?

"Did you put it because you like to or because you'll be talking with me?" This is the first time I heard him ask a serious question yet somewhat playful? I don't really get him.

I chuckled to drown my nervousness. "What's the matter if I did it because of you?" I asked, challenging him. Sometimes, I wonder what's inside his head, what he thinks of me.

I saw him rose and sat, wearing the most serious look ever.

"Never do something for me bear. Do it because you like it, not because you want me to see you beautiful. To tell you honestly, even without those cosmetics, you're already beautiful. The most beautiful woman I set my eyes on and I bet you agree that I'm the most beautiful man in the universe too, right?"

From being serious, he managed to turn it back to non-awkward atmosphere. I thought we'll be fighting on our first month. Luckily, we only had some shallow fights just like before. Teasing and all.

This month, he's not so busy so we made sure to savor the moment. It's gonna be October soon, meaning, he'll preparing something again for his comeback.

"Of course Mr. Cho, you're the most beautiful man next to Jang Dongyoon!"

As expected, he pouted like a hurt child. Nowadays, I've been into actor Jang Dongyoon because he's such a fine man. He doesn't look real at all and he's more good looking than my boyfriend. Help! ㅠㅠ

He kept on shaking his head. "Nope. We're not going to talk about other guys or girls tonight. It'll be just you and me, bear."

My cheeks flustered at his statement. This guy will never fail to make me a tomato!

"S-shut up! I-if I know, there's a lot of g-girls you meet everyday," I stuttered, looking like a real fool.

He did not say anything. He just smiled which made me wonder if what I said was righ or not.

My mood instantly changed. All I could think now is the girls who'll surely willing to throw theirselves at Youn. Will he dodge them away or will he let them because they're willing?

I suddenly remembered what my former classmate said when he had our reunion. He was cheating on his girlfriend, yet his girlfriend still stays with him. Apparently, they're living together but he still cheated. What he said fueled the what ifs in my head.

"When you're given a food, a new kind of food you can't eat everyday, on the table, what will you do?"

Some of our classmates answered they'll eat it, of course. But some, including me, creased our foreheads because we knew what he meant. He just compared the delicious food to a hot woman who he just flirted.

With a proud smile on his face, he answered his own question. "I'll eat it until I get satisfied. When a blessing is presented in front of you, don't shove it away. Take the opportunity because you'll never know when will be the second time you'll taste it or perhaps, you'll never taste it again."

I'm always like this, doubting my value when I'm with someone. This is my inferiority complex I want to disappear. I want to think positively but my mind doesn't know how to cooperate.

Am I really worthy to be with Seungyoun? Will all his efforts be significant? Or there's someone out there better than me who's waiting for us to break up so she could fulfill the things I can't do?

As each day passes, my situation is getting harder. Before, I keep on dreaming to be his girlfriend and I thought it will be all happy days. But now, it's different than what I'd thought. My head is full of what ifs and issues which I'm afraid will drown me.

I snapped to my senses when Seungyoun kept on saying bear. I blinked a few times when our eyes met. It might be virtually but I'm still afraid he can sense what's going through my mind now.

"I was just daydreaming," I lied, plucking out a smile on my face.

"If you say so.."

Moment of silence.

For five minutes, we stayed quiet. Wandering our eyes around, not even attempting to meet each others gaze.

My heart sank at the thought that he might go to sleep without me being truthful about my thought. He sensed that something is going on in my head and he deserved to know it.

"I.." I started, calling his attention. It was only a word but I managed to get his attention. A genuine smile escaped from my lips. "I think you should know my worries...?" I failed to muster up my courage to tell him directly because I asked him.

He pouted and nodded, I took it as a cue to speak what's on my mind. My unfiltered thoughts.

"Everyday, I keep on praying about you, about me, and most especially about us. Honestly, you're a nice guy Mr. Cho. When I was just a fan, I'm head over heels to you. How much more this time, right?"

He didn't said any words or changed his expression. I know he knows what I'm talking about what. He's a man, a man who can drag an entire nation to follow and worship him. He has the power to make women kneel to praise him.

"I am no longer your fan now but a lover for a month. Our relationship is already a roller-coaster ride but let's not dwell on that. I keep on joking you about women around you but deep inside, I'm afraid and intimidated. You already know what I'm talking about... as each day passes without me being beside you, my insecurities keep on f-fluctauting..."

I closed my eyes as the hot tears started to stream on my cheeks. I cannot see his reaction but every time he calls my name, I can sense the panick in his voice.

Just then, my heart started to calm when his voice seeped into my ears. He sang an unfamiliar song I never heard before.

Thanks to your love areumdawosseo modeun sungan

The first line already got me hooked, his voice was calm like an autumn breeze. I was still immersed by my emotion but he was there to lift me up, not willing to let me drown without trying.

Thanks to your love hyanggirowosseo modeun sungan

His voice mirrored the expression on his face, it was serene and soothing. A genuine emotion I'm thankful to receive.

Nappeun gieogeun jeobeodugo
Haengbokan jigeum idaeroman

The senses in my body awakened each time he speak a word accompanied by a note. My eyes never failed to be mesmerized as he sings to comfort me.

Thanks to your love
We just keep it up just keep it up
Thanks to your love
Neoege

Cho Seungyoun knows how to save me from my insecurities. Not just my insecurities but my self. He saved my life with his voice and his songs. I'm not being biased because I'm his girlfriend but because I started to know him because of his talent.

I couldn't help but giggle at the thought that he's literally my boyfriend. In an instant, he fully embraced me from my almost drown.

Now take my love
We just keep it up just keep it up
On maeumeul dama thanks thanks thanks

My heart skipped a beat at the lyrics. Now take my love. What does it supposed to mean?

Right after singing those lines, he haulted. Satisfaction occupied his face and I can't say any words.

My thoughts earlier were all eradicated by his song. The foundation he had started since he started dreaming. That his songs will heal the wounds and flood away the worries. It might be in a different language but the meaning and intention will remain the same.

"We may come from a different race, different country, our language may not be the same, the timezone and the culture we grew up with may differ, they're nothing when we feel the same. Those things did not hinder to grow my feelings for you. There's no such thing as barrier when we talk about two people being in love. We have a lot of disparity but it will not matter. What matter here is our affection. We're in the same universe, bear and nothing is impossible right now."

With so much confession from Seungyoun, I can't help but to feel the luckiest woman in the world.

"Youn..."

I'm overwhelmed. The time becomes slower and it feels like we're the only ones existing in the universe.

He shake his head. "I'll beat all the obstacles that will come on our way. I will never let you slip away from me. Once I fall in love, I will commit to it. I will commit to that person and that person is you. I believe that in this world, we only fall in love once so please help me. Help me to sustain our relationship until our last breath. Let's spend our last laughs with each other. It will always be you."

Tears came rolling on his cheeks. My soft boy. He's so sweet, damn!

"Let me be the man in your dreams and the man who will make your dreams come true. I will not make you wish that we will reborn again or we will be together in the other universe because in this life time, we will be together."

I bit my lower lip and nodded. This is what I like about him. He's being transparent with me and he's not afraid to show that he's whipped to me.

With a heart full of contentment, I finally uttered the words I wanted him to hear.

"Saranghae, uri jagiya.."

It might not come out naturally from my mouth because I do not speak the language, my heart says otherwise.

"I love you more than you could imagine, bear."

And I'm one of the luckiest person to be loved back by the one I love in this universe.