Chapter 32: Dad

Present

It had been a few days since he had seen Harry. Louis had called in sick to work on Monday, which wasn't untrue. He was sick. Sick to his stomach with guilt. He had spent the recent days just making himself throw up, hoping maybe it'd fix the niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach and maybe help him lose some of the pudge that had been gaining back onto his stomach while he was at it.

He felt horrible. Harry never deserved it. Not the bullying, or the assault and most definitely not the incident that occurred the last time Louis ever saw Harry as a teen. He didn't deserve the blade against his own skin, that he put there because of the amount of pain Louis put him through.

They had been messaging back and forth though, which kept Louis happy for tiny sections of the day before the dread set back in and he grabbed the closest bottle of alcohol, drowning in his sorrows and crying over past mistakes that cannot be undone and will forever haunt him.

-*-

Today was the day of the funeral. Harry was picking him up and they were going straight to the ceremony and then, after that, they'd stay at Anne's for a couple of days.

So, here Louis was, looking in the mirror at himself, cuffing the sleeves of his shirt with a frown on his face. The suit he leant from Niall was swimming on him and he looked ridiculous, but he couldn't fix it now. He makes sure his gelled hair is swooped properly, combing through the fluffy locks until they sit in a quiff.

He shoves more items of clothing into his overnight back and checks multiple times he has his phone charger and everything else he needs and ones concluding he does, he lugs the bag to the lounge, smiling at a smirking Niall as he does so.

"I've always wanted to fuck someone in their childhood bed," Niall mumbles, lips pressed at the rim of his coffee mug. He blows the steam off the beverage and glances back up at Louis who gives him an appalled look.

"Why?"

"Dunno. But please live out my dream for me." Niall shrugs and makes a stand. He walks over to Louis and pulls him on for a hug. "Have fun at the funeral."

"I don't think 'fun' is the right word, Ni," he chuckles and hugs back happily. "Thank you for letting me borrow your suit, I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem... Hey, Lou?" Niall furrows his eyebrows a little and Louis gives him a confused look and a hum in question. "Have you been eating okay? You feel quite slim. I know it isn't my place to ask, I am just worried."

Louis snorts and glances away from him, flushing red. "Niall, I am fine. You've seen me eat, don't worry your cute, little head so much, okay?"

"Okay..."

-*-

"Hi!" Louis throws his overnight bag into Harry's back seat and quickly jumps into the front, leaning over to place a kiss to Harry's lips. He pulls away but Harry grabs his neck and kisses him again.

"Hi, beautiful." The taller falls back against the car seat and places his hands back on the wheel as Louis puts his seat belt on. "Lou..."

Louis turns his head to him quickly and raises his brows with a nod.

"Do you think we can not mention what you saw the other night?" Harry swallows thickly and looks out the windscreen. "I'm really sorry you seen it, it probably made you really uncomfortable."

"Not at all, Harry. With or without, you are perfect, but of course we don't have to talk about it... But, we do need to decide what we will be listening to, because I will not hesitate to jump out of this car if you play shit music, just saying."

"Well, fuck. Better let you choose then, aye? Don't want any roadkill."

"Wise choice, Harold dear. Wise choice."

-*-

Louis and Harry step out of the car into the cloudy, overcast weather. Across the road is where the funeral is being held and Harry curses at himself inwardly for being late. He takes Louis' hand in his own and looks both ways before crossing the street.

The cemetery is very dull, graves flowerless and grass patchy and brown. It is surrounded by howling, huge trees which give it an even more creepy vibe. They walk towards a crying Anne and Gemma, who is comforting her mother and Louis stands back a little and watches as Harry pulls Anne into a hug, letting her cry onto his suit. "I love you, mum," Louis hears him whisper and can't help but smile fondly.

The man continues to talk and Louis looks around, his stomach dropping at the sight of his uncle. He double takes the man and blinks wildly, before concluding it was, in fact, him. Louis hadn't seen him since Stan and himself moved to London, but they had still remained in contact. Rodney even sobered up. And that lead to Louis asking him to walk him down the aisle, which Rodney happily and tearfully accepted.

He turns to see some guy walking up to Harry and he assumes he is a relative, so he decides that while Harry is distracted, he will go question Rodney and he does just that. He walks up to him and taps his shoulder, before motioning him to follow. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, Louis... Why are you here?" He looks like a deer caught in the headlights, he fish mouths and squirms under Louis' gaze, glancing away from him multiple times.

"I just asked you that. But, if you must know, my friend's stepfather passed away and this is his funeral. Rodney, why are you here?" Louis squints his eyes at the man. He turns to look at the crowd, heart faltering a little when seeing the man Harry was talking to gripping onto him in a tight hug, but he pushes the jealousy away and turns to his uncle.

"Louis," he pauses and his tongue darts out to moisten his lips. "Lesley was my brother... I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but he was your father."

Louis feels as though the air has been knocked out of his lungs and he lets out a gasp, eyes beginning to tear. "What the hell?! H-he was my dad?..." Louis covers his face with his hands, rubbing his palms over it in disbelief. "So you have known where my father was this whole time?" Rodney nods hesitantly. "Where's my mum?" His voice comes out small and desperate and Rodney frowns.

"I honestly don't know, Louis. She left, properly left. She broke your dad's heart and he couldn't look after you anymore. I had just lost a baby of my own and thought having you would fill that void. I'm sorry I failed you with my drinking and coldness."

Louis blinks with a blank, tired look and he nods, honestly feeling so numb in that moment. "I'm sorry you lost your brother." And that's his final words before he begins to walk off, an ache in his heart that can never be filled. He was always longing for the day he would meet his mum and dad, even if it never happened, he had hope. But, now, it's been ripped away.

-*-

Harry watches curiously as Louis walks off to speak to some guy, but his focus is then pulled to Arthur. He looks completely different, dyed hair, very tall, stubble. Harry barely recognised him, he wouldn't have if he hadn't seen his recent Facebook profile, that's for sure.

"Oh, Haz," Arthur pulls him in for a right hug, lingering a little too long, not that Harry minded. He had missed him. "Look at you! Taller than me now, wow."

"I've missed you," Harry sighs out, pulling Arthur in for another hug. When pulling away, he threads his hand through the dark, jet black hair Arthur now has and grins. "It suits you."

"Thank you..." Arthur blushes. "How have you been? I feel so out of the loop, I should move to London." He pouts and Harry shrugs with a nod.

"I'll give you a job," he snorts and glances back over to Louis. "Already got my assistant filled though." Harry looks at the back of the boy and can't help but sigh lovingly, even standing in front of the boy he was best friends with, had a crush on... Lost his virginity to, he still couldn't take his eyes off of Louis. He had never felt this amount of intense feelings for someone before.

And then he is walking over, his eyes furrowed and he seems angry. But he soon calms down when seeing Harry and a smile brightens to his face. "Lou! I'd like you to meet Arthur!" Harry motions between the two and watches as Arthur holds his hand out for Louis to shake, which the smaller boy hesitantly does. "He is Lesley's twin brothers son." Louis swallows and nods slowly. His cousin.

"You're the guy Harry had a crush on?" Louis questions a little bitterly. This earns a chuckle from Harry and a joking smirk from Arthur.

"I hope he would after the stuff I let him do to me, jeez," Arthur laughs. "Any and every position, hey, Haz?" Harry nudges him a little, his cheeks flaming. Louis' own face turns red in jealousy, but he doesn't say anything, just tears his gaze away to Harry's mum and sister.

"Shush, Lou will think I am a slut," Harry grits out and Louis looks at him and shakes his head a little, winking at the younger.

"Oh, are you two?" Arthur's eyes widen as he motions between them. They both stand awkwardly, Harry with a sheepish smile and Louis scratching the back of his head. "I would not have never mentioned that if I knew, I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Lewis, was it?" Ask genuinely, hissing at his own stupidity.

"N-no, it's Louis with an 'ee' sound." His panic is forgotten when Harry looks down at his phone, a message from Perrie coming through, which he quickly shows to Louis the picture of Layla. "Awe! Babies are so cute! I love them so much."

"I know..." Harry's smile widens and his heart skips a beat. Louis loves kids.

-*-

"Your mum is so lovely," Louis mumbles tiredly, gently moving his finger over Harry's arm that was around his waist. They lay in Harry's childhood room, a space-themed comforter pulled over them in the single bed. "Hazza?"

Harry hums tiredly and grips onto Louis slightly tighter.

"What was your stepfather like?" Louis wanted to know as much about his dad as possible.

"He was mostly good. When mum was around, although he got angry fast," Harry slurs in exhaustion, his speech slower than usual. "He made me call him daddy... And h-he, I woke up to him, uh, groping me once," Louis hears Harry audibly swallow. "It only happened once though, the rest of the stuff was just all talk. He made me feel uncomfortable, but he was the only dad I had."

"My uncle was the only dad I had," Louis whispers sadly, grabbing onto Harry's hand that sits against his stomach and he kissed his knuckles. "Maybe it was for the best, though."

And after that, a silence falls between the two boys and they fall to sleep peacefully in each other's arms.

A/N: This chapter took me ages to write, so please give it some love! I really hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know your thoughts and leave me some comments!

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Have a great day/night! xo