If you asked the five year Alexis where she saw herself in high school, she would've said something like definitely not where I am right now.

It was true. Alexis never would've thought that by this time in high school, she never pictured herself loosing her virginity to someone she knew nothing about. God, did she say she would wait. That she would wait for that right one. The right moment.

Right one, huh? Pathetic.

She would've never pictured herself starving just so she could feel pretty. Just so she could lose her big chunky thighs and her big arms. She hated it. She would've never pictured hating every part of herself to a point where she could not stand to look herself in the mirror. She hated her curly hair, she hated her dark complexion and she hated her body.

She just hated every goddamn thing.

She wanted a pale complexion, or straight hair. She wanted to be treated like she was a person and not a disease. Too late though.

It was Monday morning. She was in class, zoned out like usual. Her history teacher was going on about something she had no intention of listening to. Her tummy rumbled and she put an arm over it and sighed.

Few more minutes before recess, she thought after gazing up at the clock in the front of the room.

She thought about Amber. Like always, she was worried and she was uneasy. She felt obligated to take care of her. In a way, that was weird, but that was Alexis. Her eyes watered and her tummy churned and she dreaded staying another second in the classroom. She wanted to leave. This morning, all she had was coffee.

Apart from that she had nothing up till now. She felt herself sway and she could've sworn she almost passed out but she shook herself awake and sat upright so fast that the person sitting near her turned to look at her. She blinked rapidly and raised her hand up and asked to leave the room.

She ran out and headed straight for the cafeteria. Even though it wasn't time, she knew the food would still be there. She bought five sandwiches and made her way out to the bleachers not waiting another second before stuffing them down her throat. She ate so fast, she didn't let herself breathe. She downed the sandwiches one after another and felt her tummy rumble again.

It wasn't a good sign.

Few minutes later, the bell for recess went off and all the other kids rushed out of their classrooms to take their break. Alexis sat there suddenly feeling weird. She felt like she committed a crime. She felt as though she did something so terrible.

Why'd I eat? I could've kept going. Starving. She could've kept starving.

She shook her head and stood up going back inside the school building, this time heading towards the girls bathroom. She took a stall and shoved a finger down her throat coming back up with everything she had just eaten a minute ago. Her throat burned and her eyes watered.  She felt her tummy go hot and her mouth fill with a nasty taste.

She stood up and wiped her mouth, walking out of the stall. She made her way to her locker and opened it up, though she never intended too. She just stood there emotionless. She had no idea what she was doing. She shook her head and slammed back the locker.

Suddenly she was grabbed by the arm and pulled away.

"Hey!" She shrieked and turned to see who it was and to her surprise it was Amber.

"Amber? What's going on?" Alexis asked frantically but Amber said nothing.

"Oh yeah it's cool, just ignore me. I'm totally fine." Alexis said while she was still being dragged by the arm.

Then suddenly Amber lolled Alexis down the hall and went to the gym locker room away and out of ear shot. They pushed through the door and Amber let Alexis in first, checking to see if someone followed. When she was satisfied she turned to Alexis out of breath.

"We need to talk."