before you read; please take a moment to look at the image above. the message is powerful.

you may proceed.

-

Alexis was going to figure it out. She is going to figure out what I'm doing, thought Amber.

She walked through the halls, empty. She felt so empty. That day she walked down the hall, she ignored Alexis. She ignored everyone. She smirked at football guys who stared at her. She winked at nerds who drooled.

Her skirt was the shortest ever. Her crop top was the smallest size. She was starving. Looking at everyone eat what they want. Looking at everyone laugh and smile; the kind that was real. So real that even if you weren't part of that group, looking at their happiness made you smile a little and be envious a little all at the same time.

She wanted that. Ever since she was little, all she wanted was to smile. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to be herself; but her life didn't let her.

And Alexis; the girl she knew — or as Alexis prefers her friend — she was so different. Telling Amber positive things, telling her that beauty comes from within whenever she tried to give a pep talk to her.

She hated it.

She was lying. Alexis was a liar. Happiness didn't stay for long— happiness came and left. Amber knew that better than anyone.
So she hid half of herself, no one would ever know. Well, someone did. But they backstabbed her.

And it hurt. Cause she thought they'd be there to stay. She thought they'd fix her. She thought they were the answer. Oh how she was wrong.

Now, she swore she would never let her guard down. Her walls were of metal; you'd need fire to bring it down. Trust no one and you won't get hurt.

Her body looked like a toothpick. And part of her loved it while the other hated it. She looked dead. She felt dead.

Her life was like a seesaw and she was the only one on it. She needed someone else to sit with her on the other side and help her up. But no one wanted that seesaw. The ragged, busted up, old squeaky seesaw.

No one wanted that. No one ever would. And no one ever will. Or so she thought.

// a.n //
"perfection is a disease of a nation. it's the soul that needs a surgery."
-Beyoncé