"Great, let's get you dolled up." Steven, flanked by us Crystal Gems, walked into his room and he sat me down in front of his vanity. "God, you're so pretty."

The thing was, I could still hate Steven and still want him to love me. "Thank you." I noticed he usually referred to the others as sexy, but he always called me pretty. I couldn't tell if it was a downgrade or not, but I didn't care. Not really.

Same with Pearl. The meaner Steven was to her, the more she tried to win him back.

He stood behind me for a moment, Pearl fixing my hair on my right and Spinel on my left.

Steven nudged Pearl aside rather rudely. "Move."

In the mirror I caught her confusion as Steven started primping a bit closer to my face so he could see me better, so he could be closer.

I knew Pearl knew it was better to be in the Crystal Gems here on earth, hating life and not being Stevens favorite, rather than being on Homeworld serving Steven.

Because being a Crystal Gem was like being famous. People looked at you all the time, everyone lusted after us, and people just seemed to know everything about us.

I heard rumors constantly, some true, some not.

"I heard that new girl moved here from Africa!" Wrong.

"I saw Connie Mahaswaren wear an orange silk shirt with a cutout in the back, so I wore an orange shirt with a cutout in the back." True.

"That Connie girl is hot. I heard she's a virgin too. Even hotter." True, and true.

"I heard Steven Universe is dating Artez Nutella again. The two were seen canoodling on the football field during study hall." Not for long, but true. "They got together during Stevens Halloween party–," The ugly truth. "And they've been inseparable ever since." And true.

I was a woman possessed. Even when I wasn't around Steven and spent my time with Peridot, I couldn't stop talking about him. I spent 80% of my time talking about Steven, and the other 20% of the time I spent praying someone would bring him up so so could talk about him more.

"Everyone says he and Hazel are like, the new it couple. What does that even mean? I mean we hang out just as often," I told her while reapplying my lip gloss in the food court.

"Yeah, everyone's totally obsessed with him," She muttered.

I could hear people getting bored with me, but I couldn't stop. It was like my impulses were driving everything I did constantly. "And like, not to be a pervert or anything, but what's in his pants that everyone is so enamored with? The average demographic for the size of white male penises isn't good, so I can't imagine he's packing all that much even if it feels like he is. He probably stuffs."

My friend shrugged, watching Lapis do her show. "Yeah, maybe. You told me that one before."

I blinked a few times in surprise. Had I? I couldn't even remember.

"Hey, I'm having an art show to show off my sketching and stuff." She handed me a card with a date and an address. "I'd like you to see it. Take a night off from your double life and come."

"Stars and Diamonds, that's great! I'll be there!" I smiled but she frowned at my terminology. I'd picked it up from Steven and the others and it had slipped out like it was my regular lingo.

She frowned harder and leaned forward, sniffing a little. "Ugh, what is that smell?"

"Oh, it's probably a mix of my new perfume Steven bought me and himself. It's a couples set I'm pretty sure," I told her proudly.

"You smell like a Crystal Gem," She grunted distastefully.

"Thanks." I had thought it was a compliment, but apparently it was not from the look on her face.

Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to spend time alone with Steven and distract Hazel.

During math, I leaned over to Hazel and tapped his shoulder. "I don't get any of this. Do you get any of this?"

Ms. Larson walked by and set my test on my desk. "Good job, Connie."

Hazel stared down at the perfect 100% and then up at me again with a small smirk. "Seems like you get it."

With Steven, it was far more simple.

"Hey," I grabbed his hand as he walked by after school. "I was wondering if you could call me later and... help me with something." I left the innuendo floating between us and his eyes lit up under that mask I could nearly see the outline of.

"Yeah, sure."

I'd told him I was experimenting with toys, and tonight I was going to have him guide me again. I'd been testing, trying to figure out my body. Now, instead of studying I felt like I was constantly masturbating, constantly getting off.

To him.

I always imagined he would be rough with me, break me open and take me. And then he would lose and I would win. He'd break down and never be able to show his face again...

There was that pang in my chest as I drove home again. That throbbing feeling I had started to get when I thought about hurting him. I didn't understand, I was doing the right thing! This was why I even joined the Crystal Gems, but it happened consistently now.

I collapsed over onto my bed, trying to drown my feelings in the soft cotton blanket and the smell of him on myself. His body heat was all encompassing at times, he'd stand next to me with that mouth watering aroma and those dark eyes and that heat and I could just drip down my legs with how bad I wanted him.

My head flopped to the side of my bed, knowing what lay under me. Desire swept through me as I thought about it until I couldn't resist reaching down there and pulling the box up onto my lap.

There wasn't much. A bullet, a wand and a clitoral pleasure rose I had come to love dearly.

And a dildo.

The store I had gone into in a hoodie and sweats didn't sell the average size. It went from 6 and up to staggering, terrifying 17 inch ones. No woman's body could possibly take that, not in their vagina anyhow and certainly not down their throats. My eyes scanned over all of them, a wall of obscenity saying things about me simply because I was looking at them. And loud, they were all so loud in the mostly silent back room. The shame almost made me turn back, but instead I grabbed the first one in front of me not bothering to check the size.

It ended up being 8 inches, 30% bigger than the average male. I stared at it in its box when I got home, standing proudly proclaiming it had a suction end to use in tubs and on walls. It took me nearly a week to open it, frustrated with Steven and Hazel openly pining for each other right in front of my face.

It was fleshy in a way that wasn't human, but not anything unpleasant. It made my hands look small but I could still wrap my fingers around the 2 inch girth just fine. The lubricant they'd given me free in the box made it slimy, easy to tolerate compared to the stickiness the silicone had before.

I realized I was sitting on my living room floor as an adult, stroking and prodding at a fake penis and giggled. It was so strange, I would have never guessed college of all places would be where my sexual awakening happened and certainly not with a fake penis.

I had felt many times Stevens pressing against me as he would kiss me or press against me from behind like a king coming onto a subject. I couldn't know what a cock truly would look like, but now I could guess.

My legs ached at their apex and I could feel myself growing wet thinking about him standing in front of me with it on display. No, I couldn't think about that. I was starting to think too often about him, I needed to refocus.

But if this thing was going to go into my body I had to explore all of it.

I went into my room and locked the door knowing I didn't have to. No one could find me yet it felt even safer. I scooted to the wall and stuck the bottom on it, almost giggling at the silly squelching noise. It bounced when I released it, up and down in front of my face until I grabbed it. It was heavy, almost cold. My fingers slid along the length of it, feeling the ridges and the head. There was always data to be collected, something I hadn't been doing much since I met the Crystal Gems.

I paused as a thought occurred. It was slow, but I leaned in, wondering what it would feel like in my mouth as this was now an experiment. My tongue tasted the tip, the lubricant oddly sweet and yet nothingness while the dildo tasted slightly of rubber. Feeling brave I took as much as I could into my mouth. It brushed to the back and I gagged, pulling away slightly to really feel it. It was inherently inhuman, the weight on my tongue couldn't possibly be the real weight one held. Still it was pleasant having my mouth full. I inched down again wondering if slower was better in this case and found I could take an impressive 5.5-6 inches before it became too much. I wished I had other people's test results so I could compare but it would be strange to ask people what they can take mouth wise. Suddenly I pulled off of it, embarrassment flying through me. An image of Steven in my mouth looking down at me with those powerful eyes had caught me off guard.

That was enough for now even after my mouth felt empty, so I laid down and splayed my legs as I pulled it off with more effort than I expected I would need. This was the other part now, rubbing the head between my lips. It felt nice, a jolt of teasing egged on by my leaking hole's essence. My hips jumped as it became more sensitive to the touch and I felt myself relaxing and squeezing.

I had fortunately already lost my hymen when I'd gotten greedy and tried three fingers one night, and it had stung horribly for a few brief moments before I could keep going. The head poked at my entrance and I spread my legs further, propping them up on the wall. I pushed it in the first bit and hissed. It stretching me out it felt like a ring of fire. A bit more did the same, but less this time so I took more and more until, "Oh." It had brushed along an area that felt very familiar. My g-spot was nothing new to me, but the heaviness was and I felt a deep current through my lower half.

I started letting it slide in and out, my huffs turning into soft moans and then louder. It was an awkward angle but it felt so good I didn't care. The pseudo-balls pressed into me as I let it bottom out once and gasped.

Oh this was going to be a new hobby for sure.

And it had been, though I hadn't ever ridden it.

Steven answered immediately. "Hi."

I swallowed at the sound of his voice. "Hi... uhm, what are you up to?"

Shuffling and then a sound that made my toes curl, a sniffle. "N-nothing. Playing my guitar."

"Are you okay?"

He was silent for a long time before answering frailly, "You misjudge your rank."

I frowned. "You don't sound okay."

"I'm not. But that's not your business," He snapped.

"Okay, Peridot." My hand slapped over my mouth as shame rose in me. There were several reasons why it was so mean, namely being that Peridot was supposed to be my friend.

I expected him to fly off the handle or hang up but Steven chuckled. "Comedic timing is certainly helping. Why'd you want to call tonight?"

"I... I wanted to know if you could... Guide me again." I tensed with worry hoping he wouldn't say no because of Hazel. If he was his true desire, he would.

He hummed, his voice now deeper. "Guide you? Guide you during what?"

"You know." I made a face at the airy teasing in my voice. Where had that come from?

"I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say you need me to guide you," A husky voice replied.

I was certain he couldn't use magic on me from afar, but it felt like that at the way my obedience tugged the string of words out of my mouth. "I need you to guide me, Steven."

I could hear skin against skin and imagined him rubbing a hand across his face. "I shouldn't," There was a long wait as my heart ached with disappointment. "But I will. Take off your clothes for me."

"I'm already naked."

He sighed deeply through a laugh. "Disappointed because I like to hear the sound of it, but okay because you're you."

I wondered what had been going on beforehand to make him abruptly like this, so allowing and borderline sweet.

But of course, ever demanding. "What do you want me to teach you? Tell me."

"So you know those toys?" I inquired impishly.

"Go on."

I looked over at it suctioned to my bathroom floor. It was menacing almost. "I need you to guide me on how to... do it on my knees?"

"Connie!" He laughed so long I started to feel like a total idiot but then he murmured, "It's called riding, Connie. You want me to teach you how to ride."

It sounded so dirty even with the words being gentle that I blushed harder. "Please."

He instructed me to sit over it and lubricate it heavily. "Side it in, tell me how it feels."

"It feels the same so far," I moaned.

"Tell me more."

"Full, tingly. Not as intense as the clit, but warm. It feels–," I yelped suddenly as I had moved onto it too quickly from excitement and it had bottomed out early.

"That's what you get you greedy girl," He teased with a soft grunt.

Was I greedy? I couldn't tell. I masturbated way more than I thought I would when I first started, but it provided relief from the school and double life. "It's so full."

"That's the way you're supposed to be, full. All the fucking time." He hissed quietly. "Lift yourself up and down, take as much as you can."

"Oh, stars!" I was hit with and gentle lull in my stomach that made my legs shake slightly. They weren't used to holding my weight like this, they ached with effort.

"Mmm, louder." I could hear him on the other end, how hungry he sounded for me.

"P-people will hear," I whined and picked up the pace past the burning in my thighs.

Steven let out a low, warning growl. "I want them to hear. Louder."

The pressure built higher from his command and I gasped, "St-Steven!"

"Oh fuck!" His panting became fractured for a moment. "You'll make a fool out of me like that."

I pressed it against my g-spot milking it to massage into me. "I need this," A needy admission to him. "I needed this."

"You needed this, or you needed me?"

A pause.

"Yes."

It was enough of an admittance to him that I could hear the joy in his soft grunts. "Fuck, y-you're perfect~! B-beautiful." I cried out when he did, our voices near harmonious in our desire for each other. "So pretty."

It did bother me, dammit! "D-do you think I'm sexy... too?" I was tired of hearing that, I wanted to be sexy to him too, I wanted every facet of his lust.

"Yes, fuck yes. So sexy and small and when I pull you against me all I want to do is force you on your hands and knees. Break you," He gasped sharply. "I want to break you."

I fingers found my clit and rubbed, adding to the moment like a cherry on whipped cream. "You can't break me."

Steven breath became long, drawn out over moans that made my toes curl. "What makes you so sure?"

"Human h-have more endurance than you think. A-and if you broke me, you couldn't use me again." I liked the sound of him using me like a toy now, like something for his own service and gratification.

"You are greedy, I love it."

My vision became blurry as the currents ran together, intertwining tightly as heat grew to burning. "I-I think I'm gonna cum!"

"Keep going." He murmured something under his breath that I think he thought I couldn't hear, but I heard it as clear as if he were next to me, "I have to have you."

My hands moved back to the wall to balance myself as a tidal wave smashed into me. My lips parted in a tiny whimper that became a louder cry when I heard his breathing start to shutter and I knew he was cumming for me.

I slumped and let the rest run through me, smiling at myself for preparing beforehand, smiling at the crest of every of Stevens gulps for air was the sound of his voice. "Thank you."

He almost answered but the dial tone and a small click told me he'd disconnected.

I pulled off and took a shower, trying to wash the feeling of anticipation I felt in my body. The sharp 'This is It' with a capital fucking 'I'. The power I had was overwhelming, I was unstoppable.