Team for mission

Also if your wondering why artoria's nickname is sleep A lot it's because almost every mission I take her on she is always out for weeks

*timeskip*

Network shutdown: 8 turns

Me:oh son of a bitch ok everyone move!!

I then made tear grapple to a roof and moved sid to cover only to find two advent turrets

Me:SHIT!!

Immediately I move overenglishman to cover and make him hack one of the turrets then try to take over it ... only to barley get it done

Me:dammit we were so close! Alright fuck it kill that son of a fucking turret

I then move Seth so he can get in range for a shredstorm cannon

Me:well time to see what this does

I then aim ready to fire only to see sid is in the way

Me:oh fuck me and my decisions

After a while of thinking and aiming I see that Seth can hit both turrets

Me:... ah fuck it sorry sid but it's for the greater good and you'll just sleep that off

I then made Seth fire at the two turrets and sid destroying ALL of there armor and doing ridiculous damage

Me:YEP it's official sid your sacrifice to getting hit by friendly fire was worth it

To finish the first turret off I made artoria kill it with slash and also giving her some cover

After that I move beaglerush into cover and made tear shot at the last turret ... or I would have if tear just FUCKING SEE IT

Me:goddamn it tear you are a sniper you should be able to see it dammit!

So instead I put him in pistol overwatch

When it was the aliens turn ... fuck

Immediately to start it off they just decided to be like 'oh yeah did you just kill one of us? Well good job now 10 TAKES ITS PLACE HAHAHAHAHA' then a turret miss sid

Me:... well everything just went to shit ok sid move to inspire tear

Immediately as sid moved the robot who was here decided to say 'fuck you' and hit him with a overwatch shot dealing fucking 8 DAMAGE leaving him with 4 bars of health left

Me:yeah yeah sure just give him the ex wife treatment tell him for the rest of his life that you love him with all of your heart then start to be a complete slut when he is sleeping and after a while of letting him have that fucking fantasy you leave him for death and tell him I don't love you anymore because that's what you are you FUCKING CUM DUMPSTER ... Jesus Christ I have watched to many of tears videos

Letting that out of my system I made sid inspire tear and put him in position for the 'countdown' to death

Me:alright how much damage can he do

I then see there bars to see they only lose half of there health if he shots them

Me:... fuck this almost never happen before

Not wanting this I moved beaglerush onto the roof then make him do saturation fire on the two archons, not done yet I made Seth throw a grenade at the last turret and the robot destroying its armor, after that I made overenglishman heal sid

Not done I made artoria shot at a injured archon dealing a critical 12 damage

Me:ok tear can work with this ... probably

Finally I made tear use serial and shot at the injured archon killing it

Me:one

Next he shot and killed the turret

Me:two

Next he did a critical on the advent trooper next to him dealing 13 damage

Me:three!

Pushing my luck I made tear aim at the last injured archon and use deadeye only to see he will leave it with one bar of health

Hit:96%

Crit:20%

Me:ok tear I know you have a low chance to hit but that does not matter I want you YOU to hit that son of a bitch with max damage and AND do a crit on it ... let's see if you can do that

I finally made him fire with deadshot ........

Only to just deal maximum damage leaving it with one bar of health

Me:DAMMIT TEAR YOU HAD ONE JOB ONE FUCKING JOB

I then End my turn by putting overenglishman into overwatch

For the aliens... they start it off by shooting rockets at artoria shredding her armor

Me:she dealt with worse

Then the only ok archon move a bit and shot tear only to miss

Me:it was at this moment this archon knew that if you try to hit tear

While I was talking tear got out his pistol and shot at the archon dealing 5 damage

Me:he will make you burst into tears ... dammit that would of been way more cooler if he just instakilled it

Then the almost dead archon charged ready for victory!! Only for-

Overenglishman:hey this is a no flying zone!

Immediately overenglishman shot the archon dealing 9 damage for over kill

Overenglishman:you need a license to fly here you alien twat

Me:... ok since that's over sid since they were being difficult take one of there own

As I said that sid dominated the barley hurt archon

Me:ok now your turn to die y-

As I made tear do the shot I found another mech

Me:.... fuck I will deal with your brother later

Then I made tear, beaglerush and artoria kill it, and moved overenglishman a bit then do the same with Seth

The aliens start there new turn off by firing at artoria (what's the problem with them and artoria I mean seriously every time she is in sight they shot at ONLY her) then the shielded trooper gave itself and the mech a barrier

Me:well that was quick

To start off my turn I killed the armor trooper with a null lance using sid, and ruptured the mech which shows me a codex and ... I don't know the big daddy's from bioshock, but not wanting to deal with that yet I made overenglishman shot at the mech killing it

Me:alright now then time to put the codex back to where it came from the same with the big daddy rip off

Not caring I made artoria slash at it which made it clone itself making me kill the original with the archon, still not caring I made beaglerush shot the big daddy rip of with a plasma launch? I honestly forgot what it's called, destroying its armor and made me use tear to kill it ... but he was not in range so instead I made him shot at a codex

Aliens turn they start by

Y/n:OH FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MOTHERS ELDERS

sending a sectopod or by how I dub them "giant fucking cock guzzling fucktard extremes the can go fuck itself race of I hate you with all of my fucking hate"

Now that it's my turn again I healed artoria and made her shot at the rip off and made overenglishman kill it for her

Next I made beaglerush Fire a grenade at the sectopod destroying its armor, and made Seth do the same ... two times cause fuck that guy then made tear kill the rip off again since it doesn't know when to give up

Aliens move they started it off with a miss, and made there lancer hit tear for 10 damage making him shot at its dumb goddamn face while its friends dick around

My turn which started by my archon missing again... shit

Next I made artoria do run and gun to get to the roof and kill the lancer since it was being a fucking dick

Me:just so you know ... you deserve that

Next I made sid inspire beaglerush so he can reload then use rupture against the sectopod ... only for him to get a accidental execution

Me:...wait he got a execute .... YES I KNEW THAT UPGRADE WILL HELP ME OUT now I can focus on the rest of you cock bites

To prove my point I made tear shot at he shield trooper and move my guys around then put Seth in overwatch

When it was the aliens turn ... they literally miss all of there shots

Me:wow they have a lot of health but not really good at aiming

With that in mind I make tear grapple to a roof then shot them while using serial killing one but almost killing the other which made me move my archon, reload, then shot its knee

Me:why do I feel like a arrow to the knee joke is going to be made

1 turn left until shutdown

With that reminded I make overenglishman hack into the workstation and see he has a chance to increase his hacking

Me:... fuck it

Takes the chance but it doesn't happen

Me:ok then time to load this move

Timeskip

After the second time he finally got his hacking increased

Me:finally it's better then before!

Rating:excellent

Me:yep just as I thought ... the game doesn't know the difference between gravely wounded and lightly wounded

Tearofgrace 'sandman'

Hp:6/16

has more then half of his hp gone

Status:lightly wounded, lightly wounded,
lightly wounded, LIGHTLY WOUNDED

Me:yep the games broken