I speak of ME

All the time because it's all consuming

But there is something else

Sometimes more sinister then

The illness without a cure

Something that is known throughout

The world and millions suffer from

It's not new

Or special

Or even that worrisome to many

Until it's too late

I am depressed

It's not a confession of some

Deep dark secret

It's a known fact

Since I was a teenager

Except....

Now because of the illness

Constantly referred by me

I have MDD

Major Depressive Disorder

The one that kills

In the blink of an eye

Without warning

Or a note

Every day is a battle

To actually understand

The plus side of still being here

I'm not religious

I'm not afraid of death

In fact for me

I would join my guardian angels

So what's so bad about it?

Death is easy

Life is hard

Death is only the beginning after all

Or end for those of us that are old souls

Some people belong on this planet

And perhaps I've worn out my welcome

What good do I do for people or

Even for myself anymore?

Who the hell outside my microscopic

Immediate family

Would even notice the difference?

I guess I'll let the fates decide.

I'm too worn out to do anything

About me it myself.

Too much trouble

I got no more energy left for this

Pathetic existence.

What good are my past accomplishments

If I can't do anything with them?

Yes I am depressed

And who gives a fucking damn?

Not even sure I do myself anymore

Just keep writing about it

Until I write it out of my system

Maybe it'll go away then

And take me with it!

So in the meantime.....

Just keep breathing until my time is up.