"Jungkook?"

"Hm?"

Taehyung turns around in Jungkook's arms so that he lays facing him.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook asks groggily.

"Are you too tired to talk?" Taehyung asks.

The younger shakes his head, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes. "No. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I was just wondering something." The brunette says looking down. "It might be random and weird but..."

"Go ahead, Tae. I'm listening." Jungkook says reassuringly.

"I guess I just...I want to know why you don't touch me." Taehyung says, looking up shyly.

"I touch you." The younger chuckles softly, running his hand up Taehyung's arm teasingly.

"No." The brunette chuckles. "Like, touch me. Like, in an intimate way."

Jungkook's smile fades a little. "Oh, well...I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me." Taehyung says. "I'm your boyfriend so you should be able to touch me like you want to right?"

"No, Tae. You're my boyfriend but I'm your's too, and I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. Even if you think I should be able to." The younger says. "I love you for you, not for the things you could do for me."

"But it makes me more uncomfortable when you treat me like sugar glass." The brunette says sitting up in his elbow. "We kiss and hold hands, we cuddle sometimes but I just feel like we should be able to do more. I want to do more."

"Where is this coming from, Tae?" Jungkook says sitting up on his elbow as well.

"I want more." Taehyung says honestly, his face flushing slightly as he confesses his feelings.

"I don't want to hurt you, Taehyung." The younger says. "I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you."

"I trust you, Jungkook. I feel safe when I'm with you and I know you'll take care of me." The brunette says looking at him. "I trust you. And I want you to make love to me because I've...I've never loved anything or anyone like I love you. And I want to show you that."

Jungkook sighs, still reluctant to the idea. "I love you too, Taehyung~"

"And that's all I need to hear." Taehyung says. "I don't want to waste anymore time being cautious. I just want to have you and I want you to have me. I trust you, Jungkook. You have to trust yourself."

Jungkook looks down as he thinks of all the things that could go horribly wrong.

"Please?" The brunette asks. "We can just try and if you're uncomfortable then we'll stop. And we don't have to do it right now I just want you to know that I'm ready when you are. Okay?"

"Okay." Jungkook nods. "I'm not ready right now."

"That's okay." Taehyung smiles, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on Jungkook's lips. "I love you."

"I love you." The younger responds as Taehyung turns back around and lies down.

Jungkook puts his arm back around him and gets comfortable but he can't sleep.

His mind was torn between satisfying himself and Taehyung or doing what he thought was best, which was waiting.

He didn't know how long they should wait or what they were waiting for but he was just so afraid of hurting him.

But if Taehyung was ready, shouldn't he be ready too?

<><><>

"I honestly don't see the big deal, just go for it."

Jungkook groans at Jimin's response. "You aren't helping at all, Jimin."

"Jungkook, you're freaking out over nothing." The older says on the other line. "Jongun used to have sex all the time without switching."

"Jongun isn't Taehyung." The younger sighs through the phone. "I don't know what to do."

It was the next morning and Taehyung was working.

Jungkook had to go with him, as usual, but he took the time to ask Jimin for advice which, so far, wasn't helping.

"He asked you first, Jungkook. If he was uncomfortable or unwilling he wouldn't have brought it up." Jimin says. "Just take things slow if it'll make you feel better."

"Mhm." Jungkook hums for him to continue.

"You don't even have to start with sex, start with something else, like making out, y'know?" The older suggests.

"Yeah." The younger says. "I just don't want to hurt him, Jimin. What if I trigger some terrible memory and he freaks out or something?"

"Then you'll handle it. But I highly doubt you will. He trusts you, he knows you wouldn't hurt him on purpose." Jimin says reassuringly. "You'll be fine."

Jungkook sighs again, flinching as his name is called. "I gotta go, Jimin."

He ends the call quickly, turning in the direction his name was called and finding Mr. Kim.

"Mr. Kim." He says bowing respectfully.

"Come with me, Secretary." The man says walking past him.

Jungkook follows him down the crowded hallway, towards his office.

"Close the door behind you." Mr. Kim says walking to his desk and taking a seat.

Jungkook shuts the door before stepping in front of his desk. "Is something wrong, sir?"

    "You tell me, Jungkook." The man says folding his hands overtop one another.

Jungkook looks off as he tries to figure out what this was about. "I'm not sure I understand what you're saying."

    "I know you're not a secretary, Jungkook." Mr. Kim says. "I'm actually offended that the two of you thought I was that stupid. Really."

Jungkook stays silent, he'd probably end up digging himself further into a hole if he said anything right now.

"So I'll say it again. You tell me." The man says, raising his eyebrows as he waits.

"I'm not a secretary." Jungkook confirms.

"Okay. So what does that make you?" Mr. Kim asks.

"Not a secretary."

Mr. Kim laughs, rubbing his eyebrows in irritation. "Right."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kim. For lying to you." Jungkook says, looking down at his hands.

"Taehyung's been lying to me since he was a child, I've dealt with enough lies to not be upset at you. Taehyung..he's the one I'm upset at." Mr. Kim says standing and walking over one of the file cabinets lining the wall. "I'm his father, I'd expect him to be able to tell me these types of things about himself. Especially something as serious as this."

Jungkook stays silent as he watches the older man grab a file from the cabinet.

    "Take a look." He says placing it on his desk in front of Jungkook as he retakes his seat.

The younger looks at Mr. Kim nervously before opening the folder.

The first document is dated back to 2015, it's a statement from a doctors office diagnosing Taehyung with D.I.D.

His father's signature is on the guardian line but it doesn't match any of the other signatures Jungkook had seen before.

    "I been tracking Taehyung's medical care for almost six years now." Mr. Kim says. "I don't think he'll mind me telling you this. When he first went to college he got into quite a bit of trouble. I figured he was acting out because it was his first time living away from home. He was on his own and he was making terrible decisions for himself."

Jungkook nods continuing to look through the folder.

"There was one incident where he was detained and the school threatened to expel him if he didn't spend seven to ten days in a mental institution of their choosing." The man explains. "They didn't diagnose him then but almost a year later I found out that Taehyung returned to the hospital multiple times and they finally diagnosed him."

    "So you already know?" Jungkook asks looking up at him.

    "It confused me at first but when Taehyung came to me years later and told me about the abuse it all made sense." Mr. Kim says. "I knew he was sick, I just didn't know why."

    "Sick? He's not crazy." The younger says. "He's living a functional life just like anyone else."

    "Yes, a functional life including substance abuse, multiple suicide attempts, and unexplainable disappearances." The man says. "I wanted to give him a chance to come to me and tell me but he just never did."

    "If you knew why'd you force him to see his mother?" Jungkook asks. "Why'd you make him go to the funeral?"

    "Running away doesn't solve anything, Jungkook. He would've never healed if he didn't face her." Mr. Kim says. "I didn't do it to hurt him, I was trying to help him."

Jungkook looks down at the file again. "So what are you gonna do now?"

    "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." The man says, confusion Jungkook. "Are you his caretaker now?"

    "Kinda." The younger says, he wanted to say no because he didn't want to look at his relationship like it was a job. "Why?"

    "Well, that's a rather vague response."

    "Vague?"

    "Yes or no?"

Jungkook sighs. "Why are you asking?"

    "You're a smart young man, Jungkook. But you aren't smarter than me." Mr. Kim says narrowing his eyes. "But tell me anyway, why would my son go as far as lying to me for months to conceal what's really happening here?"

    "Taehyung hired me as his live-in caregiver. I was working with Dr. Kim and that's how we met. That's all." The younger says.

    "That's all?"

    "Yes."

Mr. Kim stares at Jungkook after silence falls over the two of them, watching him as if he's expecting him to break.

    "Whatever your intentions may be..." The man starts. "Take care of my son, Jungkook. Do I make myself clear?"

    "Yes." Jungkook nods.

    "You may return to your duties, Secretary Jeon." Mr. Kim smirks.

    "If you know why won't you just talk to him about it?" The younger asks before he leaves.

    "I'll wait until he trusts me enough to tell me himself." The man says.

    "And if he never does?"

    "Then I guess I'll never truly know."

His words don't sit right with Jungkook, if he honestly cared about Taehyung why wouldn't he tell him that he knows? Why wouldn't let Taehyung know that he had his back in this?

    "You have a good evening, Mr. Kim." He says before leaving the office.

He couldn't keep this from Taehyung.

🔒🔒🔒