"Stop calling my fucking phone."

"Then start fucking answering."

Jungkook huffs in annoyance as he stands from where he was sitting with Namjoon.

"You need to come to the house. Something's wrong with V." Jimin says angrily. "I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean? Where is he?" Jungkook asks, already grabbing his keys.

He hated that Jimin only called when it was convenient for him but he wasn't worried about that right now, he was worried about Jimin.

"He's upstairs in the guest bedroom, he won't unlock the door." The older responds. "He told me that he'd talk to you that's why I'm calling."

Jungkook takes his phone from his ear to tell Namjoon he has to go. "My friend got out of the hospital today so I'm gonna go check on him."

"Okay. Are you gonna be alright?" Namjoon asks looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." The younger smiles walking to the door.

"Be careful." The older calls as he leaves.

"I will be." Jungkook says bringing the phone to his ear. "How long has V been out?"

"A couple hours I guess." Jimin sighs. "I asked him to come out of the room and he wouldn't."

"Well I'm coming. Tell him I'll be there."

"Alright."

When Jungkook gets to the house he walks inside without ringing the doorbell, finding Jimin in the kitchen.

    "He's still in the room?" He asks.

    "Yeah." Jimin sighs, Jungkook notices for the first time how genuinely exhausted Jimin looked.

He had spent so much time being pissed at Jimin that he never took a second to acknowledge how me how he feels.

Taehyung was his best friend, they've know each other since they were kids, Jimin had to be taking this entire situation extremely hard.

    "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, genuinely wanting to know.

Jimin seems confused by the sudden inquiry about his wellbeing. "I'm fine. Why?"

    "Just asking." The younger shrugs. "I'm going up now."

    "Alright." Jimin says as Jungkook walks away.

When he gets upstairs he walks to the last guest room on the right.

He reaches above the door and grabs the lock opener, unlocking the door and walking into the room.

He finds the brunette sitting on the windowsill with his arms wrapped around his legs, the same radio from before sitting across from him softly playing classical music.

    "Hyung?"

    "He won't come out."

Jungkook closes the door, walking over to him. "V?"

V looks up at him. "Where the hell were you?"

    "I've been staying at a friend's house. Jimin's been making me stay away." The younger says. "I came to see you guys when I could but Jimin asked me to keep my distance so... I figured you guys would want me to respect that."

    "Jimin's a stupid, cynical jackass." The brunette says looking out the window. "You should've came anyways."

    "I'm sorry." Jungkook says sitting down across from V. "Jimin called me because he was worried about you. Are you okay?"

    "No. I'm so far from okay, right now." The older says turning off the radio. "Hajoon's been a no show for the past week and I can't handle being the only protector, especially not right now."

    "He hasn't fronted since~"

    "No. And I know he's in the inner world, I just know it." V says. "I keep playing this stupid fucking music and drinking this disgusting ass tea just for him not to show. There's a reason there's two protectors. I can't handle the shit he's supposed to handle. He's supposed to be here dealing with this."

    "Dealing with what?" Jungkook asks.

    "The suicide attempt." The brunette says pushing his hair away from his face. "He's supposed to be taking care of the body. But instead he disappears and leaves me to protect everyone while taking care of the body and the littles in the inner wold. You know what, fuck him. I don't care if he's gone, I don't care if he never comes back~"

    "You do care, V." Jungkook cuts in. "And it's okay to care. And whatever it is you need I'll help you. Okay?"

V groans as tears well in his eyes, wiping them angrily. "And this stupid fucking medicine is making us emotional. It feels like we've been up for a week straight but I can't go to sleep."

    "I'm sorry, V. I'm sorry any of this happened." The younger says looking at him.

    "Hajoon's supposed to be here." V says, looking out the window with teary eyes. "When we were young and bad things like this happened Hajoon would take care of us. Even though I was the primary protector he'd take care of us when we got hurt."

Jungkook nods, letting V continue.

    "It was only me and Chaehyeon for so long before Hajoon split. We were nine and the state was forcing our mother to send us to school. Hajoon split off three days before the first day. He went instead of me." V says, exhaling and closing his eyes. "Chaehyeon loved him immediately. Taehyung would've too but he didn't know about any of us...We were all at the front once— me, Chaehyeon, and Hajoon— when Taehyung was having a panic attack.

    "I didn't know what to do other than front and take the pain but Hajoon, he spoke to Taehyung. In this stupid voice that I couldn't stand. He said some shit like 'Breathe, baby. Fear is a state of mind not a state of being.'" He explains, mocking Hajoon's voice. "I thought that was a load of shit. How can fear not be a state of being if we're scared all the time? Y'know?"

    "Mhm." Jungkook hums.

    "When we first became aware of Minseok's presence Hajoon was the only one that could reach him. Minseok had been around since we were seven or something but he kept all his memories so we never noticed. But Hajoon did. And even though Minseok never shared what he went through or what we were going through Hajoon got him to open up to us and to come closer to where we were in the inner world."

Jungkook nods, he didn't want to interrupt, V was finally opening up about things that Jungkook never knew.

    "Hajoon befriended Jimin when we were kids. He asked Jimin to make sure he didn't get hurt but he didn't do that for himself. He did that for us." V says, wiping the tears that spill down his face. "I hated Hajoon because it felt like he was taking my place sometimes but then I realized he wasn't just protecting Taehyung like I was. He was protecting all of us...

    "When I turned bad in high school he didn't turn away from me like everyone else did, he didn't give up on me. He still protected me. Even when I did...h-horrible things to the body and when I let other people do horrible things to the body..." The brunette trails off for a moment, opening his eyes and looking out the window. "He didn't turn on me...he didn't think I was a monster, even though he should have. God, he should've hated me...but he never did.

    "Recently he told me that I was getting better. That I was 'growing and learning to protect our temple' and I hated that. I didn't want to change. I tried not to but then you came along and... I tried to hate you. I tried scaring you away but you stayed. Then you told me I needed to be protected, the same thing Hajoon always said. I never wanted to believe it when he said it, but hearing you say it made me think that it was probably true...

"This past week I've been feeling helpless and alone. Hajoon was like...this invisible shield that made me fearless. Like nothing could hurt me because if it did he'd fix it. He'd make it better." V says a short sob escaping his lips. "But he's not here...and I'm feeling all the pain alone. I can't remember the last time I ever hurt so much for so long without him and I just wish he'd come back and make it better. He doesn't have to front...just tell me what to do, y'know? Just come close enough that I can feel him."

Jungkook swallows hard as tears form in his eyes.

"I want him to tell me it's okay and that I'll get through this, we all will. And I want him to talk to me in that stupid ass voice because it always makes me feel better." V cries, covering his face. "I just can't do everything by myself. I can't."

Jungkook stands from the windowsill, stepping next to V and pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry, V."

V cries harder, sobbing into Jungkook's shirt.

"I'm so sorry." Jungkook says, crying silently as he holds V.

V releases a pained sound, one of his hands shooting to his temple.

The brunette's cries die down quickly, turning to shaky breaths and sniffles.

Jungkook pulls away from the hug and looks down at him.

Hajoon's warm green eyes look up at him.

🔒🔒🔒