(Damon's POV)

I don't like this feeling. I don't like this pit in the bottom of my stomach that's pulling me all the way down to the ground. Graham is mad at me and it's really hard to think I was so stupid. I know he's shy and I know he deals with things differently than I do. I shouldn't have made fun of him.

On the bright side, at least I know that he's attracted to me. I've been lounging around the apartment naked and wearing the tightest clothes I have in my suitcase to try and get his attention. There are no doubts that Graham is extremely attractive and I know that I shouldn't be trying to sleep with him because I need a place to stay, but I can't help it. Everything he does drives me insane in a good way.

I step outside the apartment building and sink into my jacket a little more. It's a lot colder than I expected it to be, but I can manage until I get to the bar. I made sure to clean up a bit before I left as somewhat of a peace offering. I focus on the cloud leaving my lips in the chilly air and it reminds me of cigarettes and how Graham smokes them. It's like he's breathing his life away. I guess he is, but he makes a point to enjoy every second of it. I'm worried about him. Something's wrong but I know he's never going to tell me. I need to find the bar.

I try to retrace my steps and remember what turns we had to take and what streets we went down to get there. Finally, I'm standing in front of the dimly lit building with a half finished cigarette hanging loosely from my bottom lip. I throw it into a pile of snow and carry myself in, taking a seat in the exact same spot as last time.

What surprised me most about coming here again was the fact that Heather was here as well, sitting in the exact same corner as last time, tucked behind a few of her friends. I duck my head with the intent of her not noticing me. It's not that I don't want to speak to her, it's just that she's not Graham. I order myself a drink as an older man sits beside me and begins to complain to the bartender about married life and how hard it is.

"Why don't you get a divorce?" I ask him. It's so simple. He sounds as if he absolutely hates her and he's not even drunk yet. I don't understand why people over-complicate everything. It just makes their life harder than it has to be.

"It's not that easy mate." He pauses to sigh. "We've built a life together. We have kids. You wouldn't understand." And there it is. He thinks I'm nothing but a child. I don't particularly like being talked down to if I'm being honest. I'm not a teenager. I understand relationships and how they work and I also understand that life only gets better for you if you get rid of the negatives.

"It is that easy. You both get your share of money and you're off. Do joint custody of the kids and the most you'll speak to her is when you have to pick them up." I shrug. It's the obvious answer to what he needs.

"Even though I might sound like I hate her, my wife and I love each other. We don't always show it and sometimes I do want to divorce her, but I can't just up and leave like that. We've spent too much time together for being apart to feel natural." He tells me and I roll my eyes. The way he was talking about her earlier could have had me fooled. You don't talk about someone you love like that.

I turn around to look at Heather again and she finally notices me and motions me over to her. Picking up my drink, I drift towards her and the large group she's standing with. I remember a few of these girls from last time I was here but their names don't come easy to me. Heather wraps her arms behind my neck as soon as I'm close enough.

"You never called, you dolt." She giggles airily as I hold her waist. Before that man had left me annoyed, I was only focused on staying out of the house so Graham wouldn't be angry with me anymore, but now I need to let off some steam and I know just the way I'm going to do it.

"Sorry about that love. I've been right busy y'know. I'm here now though." I smirk as she runs her fingers through my hair. I need to get a lot more drunk for this to be enjoyable. I down my drink and order two more. One for myself and one for Heather. I want to drink away the horrible feeling that's still in my chest from having Graham be mad at me and the hesitation to sleeping with the woman clinging to me.

She happily accepts the drink and we sit and talk. She's just about the most uninteresting person I've ever had a conversation with. She seems like she's trying to brag about her lifestyle, but she needs to remember that we're both sitting in what might be the sleaziest bar in all of London. Something's obviously not adding up with her. I roll my eyes as she tells me about her weekend in Barbados with her ex boyfriend. That's why she's here.

"And then we went to the ocean an went snorkeling. There were so many fish, you just have to get over there one day!" I finally start paying attention to the conversation again just as it starts to come to a close. I go to order myself another drink and she looks at me expectantly. I sigh and order her a drink as well. I cringe slightly as I peer into my wallet. I'm starting to run a bit low on money. I should probably get a job if I want to start paying Graham rent.

I need to remember that living with him is only going to be temporary. This past week has been nice but I have to get back on the road or scrape up enough money to buy a plane ticket back to my parent's house. I'm happy that Mike was at least nice enough to dump my suitcase in Alex's apartment before leaving without me. He stole the vodka I had hidden in the bottom compartment though. Asshole.

"Do you want to go somewhere more... private?" I have to most charming smile I can muster on my lips as I ask. She smirks and her eyes darken. She was waiting for me to ask. Graham must have made her realize how up front she was being. He was very obviously uncomfortable around her.

"My apartment is just down the road." She mentions as she subtly licks her lips. Her red lipstick stays in place but I worry about it staining my skin. It's quite embarrassing having to walk around with red marks and stains all over your neck. I might be a complete slag but I'm not proud of it.

"What are we waiting for then?" I ask and she smiles wildly as she grabs my arm and we walk to her apartment. It's not a nice walk due to the fact that it's cold and we're not exactly in the safest part of town. Every time we walk by an alleyway, I hold her a bit closer because it's terrifying. I can barely get a foot through the door before she's all over me. I fake a moan when she touches me.

We have sex. It's not amazing. I didn't really enjoy myself. She acted like I gave her a once in a lifetime orgasm but I could see that we were both disappointed. I could care less if my performance didn't suit her needs though. She cuddles into my chest and falls asleep when it's all over and I map out my escape plan because there's no way I'm going to be here when she wakes up.

Getting out of her grips proved difficult, but I managed to do it and scavenge around her small living space for my clothes. There's a pit of guilt in the bottom of my stomach as I pull on my sneakers and I feel dirty and wrong as I walk home. Don't be fooled, the walk of shame is something I've had to do many times, but now I share a home with Graham and he's going to know and it will all just be awkward. I'm still a bit drunk so I somehow push all my thoughts away completely and focuse on getting home safely.

It's freezing cold out now and I have no idea which way I have to go to get back to Graham's apartment. I can't even seem to find my way to the bar again. This is bad. This is really bad.

I walk around aimlessly in search of familiarity and I do eventually come across the frozen yogurt place Graham and I went to last time we were at the bar. I smile to myself as I think about that night and walk into the shop. It got off to a rough start, but it eventually turned into us basically cuddling and watching movies. I kept a bit of distance because making Graham uncomfortable is the last thing I'd ever want to do, but it looked like he was enjoying himself.

I order a cup of strawberry frozen yogurt and sit down in the shop to eat it. Escaping the cold right now is just my number one priority. It's kind of stupid that I decided to get something cold but I think I remember how to get home from here so it won't be too long until I'm under the covers on Graham's pullout couch.

I take a few more wrong turns but I finally get home. I trudge straight to the bathroom and strip down to my boxers, making sure I throw my dirty clothes in the hamper to not upset my flatmate more than I already have. I hope Graham doesn't hate me now. I've been annoying him even though I know how upset he could get. I feel like a dick. He's so kind and all he gets in return is me walking around naked and leaving a mess of his apartment.

As I wash my face, I take note of my bloodshot eyes and pale skin. I look terrible. How does anyone in their right mind think I'm attractive? It doesn't really matter though. I need to stop hooking up with random people anyways and if I keep up with this appearance, no one will want to talk to me.

My bed seems like my only saving grace right now. I flick the light switch off before exiting the bathroom but I notice the TV is on and blaring light over a very obvious lump under my covers. I pull them back to find Graham fast asleep and I mentally awe at the sight of him all curled up and soft like that. I wonder why he's in my bed but I really don't care. I gently take his glasses off. He probably just wanted to watch a movie and got cold or something. I press a light kiss to his forehead before pulling the covers over him again and turning off the TV.

Where I'm going to sleep is a complete mystery but Graham's room is most likely off limits and the only other place I could sleep is on the loveseat, but I don't really fancy a sore neck at the moment so I tuck myself in on the pullout couch next to what might possibly be the most beautiful man I've seen. I hug a pillow to resist wrapping my arms around him.

***
2027 words.