(Graham's POV)

The kiss only lasts a few seconds but it ends all too fast. "That was my first kiss." I stutter out in astonishment. It's everything I could have hoped for. Damon's face falls when I let the words tumble past my lips though. Did I say something wrong?

"I'm so sorry Graham! I just- I thought that.." Damon is freaking out now and he's pacing back and forth along the carpeted livingroom floors. I furrow my eyebrows as I watch him. "I ruined your first kiss, didn't I?" He asks, not even attempting to hide the pained look of guilt on his face as he takes a seat on the foot of his pullout bed. I sigh and sit next to him before gently leaning my head down on his shoulder. His breathing is uneven and his hand shakes when I hold it.

"Damon, it's okay. We're okay." I don't stutter at all. It takes a lot of focusing but I can't calm him down if I sound equally as nervous. "I'm kind of happy you were my first k-kiss." I slip up towards the end but I hope he sees my smile and knows that I'm telling the truth.

"You mean that?" He asks and I let out a laugh and nod eagerly, telling him that I wouldn't have wanted it to be with anyone else after lifting my head from his shoulder to look at him. A brightness takes over his face that makes him easily comparable to the sun itself. He wraps his arms around my side and I lean into his touch.

"What now?" I ask. Damon's staring right into my eyes and it doesn't make me uncomfortable or want to look away. I find myself getting lost in his stare as I wait for him to respond. I never knew eyes could be so nice or blue.

"Whatever you want." He finally says as he runs my fingers through my already messy hair. I don't know what I want, but for the first time in my life I'm not scared for what's next. I'm ready to face whatever comes next as long as Damon's by my side. Hopefully he's there for a long time.

"Let's just stay here forever." I suggest as I lay down and pull Damon with me. I make myself comfortable and put my head on his chest and he lazily plays with the fabric on the back of my t-shirt.

"I like that idea." He snickers as he kisses the top of my head. "Do you know where the remote is?" He asks and I look up and shake my head. "I bought the TV at a pawn shop. It didn't have a remote." I tell him.

"Ugh. I don't want to get up." He groans and throws his head back into the soft blankets haphazardly laid across the bed. Damon's made an effort to clean up after himself but he's still not the best at it. I really don't understand how someone doesn't know how to properly make a bed but I can live with it.

I take it upon myself to get up and turn on the TV. There's not much on because it's quite late, but we only need some background noise. Crawling back into Damon's side, I let him rest his hand on my hip. He gently grips at the skin and watches the shitty cartoons playing. I smile to myself and focus on his unchanging content expression. I want to kiss him but I'd probably find a way to make it awkward.

The longer we sit, the longer I think. Good thoughts are the only thing that crowd my brain. I think about Damon and I sharing sleepy mornings and tired nights together. I can picture him reading peacefully as I paint. I can see a future with him. That is until I remember he's really only staying here temporarily.

I can't believe I forgot. My mood instantly shifts into a numb grey feeling. He'll probably be gone as soon as he has enough money to do so and I don't think I'll be ready for it. I've gotten a taste of bliss and now I'm going to have to let it go. He's going to have to go home at some point but I hope he stays.

"W-When are y-you going h-home?" I ask. I need to know so it's not just some unexpected event that happens at the worst time.

"Are you that eager to get rid of me already?" He jokes and I become a panicked stuttering mess. "I'm kidding Gra, I'll probably have to go home at some point to grab some stuff but I quite like living here if I'm being honest." He grins and I let go a sigh of relief.

"I like you living here too." I say as I subtly push my face into the crook of his neck. There's still a small bit of alcohol running through my system and it's probably giving me the courage to let myself be this close to him but I enjoy it while I can. Being nervous all the time is exhausting. I just want things to stay still for me once and right now, they are.

Damon's heartbeat is steady and rhythmic. It makes me think back to when I listened to him sing through the floor at Alex's party. Every song was loud and had quite the punch to it, but Damon's voice always brought it back to center, even when he was blackout drunk.

The TV blares brightly and Damon is now falling asleep. I don't want to go to my own bed so I manage to settle myself in even more into the uncomfortable bed. We'll have to find a better bed for him soon because this cannot be good for his back. Despite my thoughts about Damon's wellbeing though, I manage to fall into a dreamless sleep. I hope Damon will still be here when I wake up.

***

"Graham, it's almost noon." I wake up to Damon flicking my nose. I peel my eyes open and take note of my pounding headache. Damon is fully dressed and has his fingers wrapped around a steaming cup of tea. My mouth is dry and the light is hurting my eyes so I roll over and press my face into a pillow. It smells like Damon.

"And?" I ask. I'm self employed. I can wake up whenever the hell I want. It's one of the many reasons I enjoy being an artist. I'm barely obligated to do anything.

"C'mon we can go to the farmers market." I pull my face from the pillow and give him a look of annoyance before dropping it back down sighing deeply. The farmers market is the last place I want to be right now. It's always so crowded by middle aged white women and their children looking for organic food. I personally think it's impossible for fruits to be genuinely organic here in London during the winter but people are going crazy for it.

"W-Why would we g-go to there?" I ask as I sit up and rub at my eyes. I'm still wearing last nights clothes and I want nothing more than to change into a pair of sweatpants and curl up in my bed next to Damon and sleep the rest of the day away.

"Because it's not good to lay around all the time and you're also running low on groceries." He explains and I roll my eyes before putting my glasses off. Damon walks off to the kitchen and comes back with a second cup of tea that he hands to me. I take a small sip and am careful not to burn myself as Damon sits down.

"J-Jamie will come around with groceries l-later today." I shrug and Damon furrows his eyebrows and shoots me a strange look. I just ignore him and focus on willing away my upset stomach and headache. I've decided that I don't really like drinking all that much. It made me more of an emotional wreck than usual and it wasn't great.

"Why is Jamie buying your groceries?" He asks. I yawn and rub at my eyes a bit before taking another sip of tea.

"You know I-I don't like putting myself in social situations. Buying p-paint is a struggle for me most of the time. It just takes a major weight off m-my chest to know that I don't have to worry about i-interacting with that many people I don't know." I tell him and he looks sad for a brief moment before he covers it up with an unsure smile. I wonder if he's freaked out by me now. Probably.

"If the market isn't an option why don't we go out for lunch at least? I've been inside for too long." He tells me and I squint at him.

"We w-went out yesterday th-though." I complain. He huffs out an annoyed sigh but also chuckles at me before ruffling my hair. I don't know why he does that and I'm not sure if I like it all that much.

"Just be dressed by one, okay?" He smiles as he presses a kiss to my forehead and I blush. "I'm going to go visit Alex for a little bit." He finishes his tea and puts the cup in the sink before pulling on a pair of knackered converse and leaving.

A content feeling washes over me in that very second. I have someone who likes me in my life. I have someone who is romantically interested in me. I have Damon. I realize how domestic we've become in the past week. Always making each other tea and coffee. Every time he makes mine right I like him just that little bit more.

The clock reads 12:40pm and I should probably start getting ready. I rinse out my empty cup before sitting it in the sink for when I do the dishes later. I then make my way to the bathroom and turn the shower on the hottest setting before stripping down until nothing is covering me. I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it hits me like a punch to the gut but I'm determined to not let my horrible self esteem ruin today for me.

The water burns my skin when I first step in but it doesn't take that much to get used to it. I quickly wash myself and make sure to avert my attention away from any mirrors when leaving the bathroom.

I choose to wear a plain red t-shirt and a darker pair of jeans. I use a blow dryer to dry my hair and finally put on my glasses just as Damon is coming back in. "You ready to go?" He asks as I walk out of my room. I nod. He seems pleased that I'm up and ready to go.

"Where are we going?" I ask him. I hope he picks somewhere good and quiet. I'd rather not have to talk loudly over hoards of people or have a panic attack in a public bathroom today. It's easily avoidable as long as Damon knows.

"Alex told me about this new restaurant that's supposed to have really good food." He shrugs as he leans back on the wall. He still has his shoes on and probably wants to leave soon but I'm nervous again. It's a new restaurant on a sunday afternoon. It's going to be quite busy and I'm not ready for that. Damon quickly notices how uncomfortable I am. "You won't have to talk to anyone but me for the whole time. I'll even order for you." He assures me. What did I do to deserve this man?

"W-Well I g-guess w-we could check it out." I'll be miserable but his smile right now is worth it.