"Then don't let it fade" I begged while gazing at the blue sky of his eyes.
His soft lips then met mine bringing me as close as I ever would to heaven. My eyes automatically shut themselves to allow a deeper cognition. I slightly leaned forward despite the protests of my muscles.

I did not care, it was too sweet. Even the pain at this point became negligible, in fact it even lessened more and more. Deep inside my body longed for more of this infatuating sensation.
Eventually we had to separate again due to suffocating otherwise. My face flushed bright red because of not only the arousing euphoria within me, but also the lack of oxygen I had to endure for the kiss.

" You took my pain away", I figured with a quickly raising chest. Before kissing him yet again, I had to take a couple of breaths.
" Apparently, I did ", he answers before smashing his lips again onto mine. This time the air was filled with a greedy passion. Within a split we found ourselves both on the dark grey sheets of the bed. Peter laid on top of me pinning me tightly to the bed, profound lust reflecting off his eyes.

They irradiated in a gorgeous crimson red tone, so I could not do anything but to admire them.
" Your eyes are beautiful ", I adored both blue and red. They contrasted so much to one another just as he did. On one hand, Peter was a charismatic flirt whereas on the other hand he sometimes let the vulnerable, lonely soul take over.
This man represented the crashing waves of the blue ocean and the raging flames of a red fire.

He somewhat sadly shook his head: "No, this red is a constant reminder of what awful crimes I had to commit in order to gain power. They are appalling. " It were those moments in which I saw the suppressed side of Peter. The part of him were all his insecurities were hidden.
His red avoided my brown.

" Peter, neither do I know what you had to endure in your past, nor the struggle you went through. However, I believe there are reasons for the way you are now.
Personally, to me most people striving for power have the urge to protect themselves and their precious ones. They want to become stronger, because at one point of their lives they were not strong enough. "
I freed myself from his rather lose grip and turned his head to face mine:
" Although I may not know the story of those red eyes, they are endearing to me. I like them. Don't hate yourself for what you have done and who you are even if others cannot condone your action. "

His face seemed to be in disbelief about my words:" Ava". His thumb gently stroked one of my cheeks. Peter sighed before averting.
" I only can temporarily take your pain. Within a few minutes it will kick in again. In order to survive you need to rest. " He informed me without showing any emotion in his voice.
" Peter ", I mumbled hurt, yet again he has withdrawn from me leaving me alone in my shell. I felt so abandoned, just like when my father had died.
" Sleep now", Peter stepped away from me without turning around. And the moment finally passed away and with it all my happiness faded.

Suddenly just as he predicted, the pain forced itself back in my body. I winced. Hating him was so much easier, why couldn't I bring myself to neglect him the same way he always does to me?
Everything I've ever wanted was someone to stay in my life and caring for me.
That's the reason why. I could not forget him because I wanted him to have the same feelings. He should not forget me because I would never, he should care for me since I cared for him.
Peter should like me because I already liked him despite the adversity he put me through.

The worst part about this was that even if he only toyed with me, I was fine with it. I accepted this role since I did not want to lose him.

Loving you is a losing game.

As I was looking up, directly at the ceiling, tears floated my eyes. The pain crushed my body and my mind equally. This time there was no one trying to hold back the upcoming water.
Maybe, it was better if I saw the world blurry. It gave me the temporary feeling of being in a lucid dream where I was consciously controlling every string.

It's all an illusion.

So I silently cried and cried and cried until no more water was left to waste. It was the very moment when the fatigue overwhelmed me and took me with him into the land of darkness where angels and demons simultaneously reigned.
You either got a chance to visit the kingdom of serene dreams or the kingdom of nightmares.
My route led me to the latter.

Little did I know that this time it was made sure to pay me back for parting before my actual leave. Eternal suffer and torture laid ahead without me having the possibility to interfere in any way. The hell trip had only begun and there was no chance of salvation.



(A/N If you are sensitive to violence and gore, the following scenes may be triggering. Therefore, I advise you to skip to the end of the chapter as You won't miss anything too crucial regarding the plot.)


Sharp fangs pierced through my body over and over again. Red blood was spilled all over me and my surroundings. My complete chest was wide open revealing my organs and bloody flesh.
The immense pain caused me to hysterically ball my eyes out. My whole body trembled while every minute my skin got further and further torn apart. I slightly tilted my head to get a better view of my corps.

I should not have looked. It instantly made my stomach turn around, although I was not sure if it already was. Black skin and black fur. A gigantic ball of darkness rested on top of me and was biting me to death.
It was the most disturbing thing I had ever seen. Apparently, the beast noticed that I stared.
In a sudden motion it turned around, revealing a wolfish face with glowing blood-red eyes.
My eyes widen in shook. It was the thing from the meadow.

Apparently, it didn't enjoy me watching over him, as he brutally knocked me down with its tremendous paw. More blood streamed out of my body reminding me of my hopefully soon to come death. I eagerly waited for the blood and hence the pain to stop. Death was my only salvation now.
" Please let me die", I croaked to the black beast. " I don't want to hurt any more"
Nonetheless, it never stopped.