12

Be aware that this is going to be a heartbreaking chapter.

***

"Hello Makkale! Ellarum epdi irukeenga?" she opened her show with her every bubbly voice. "Enaku teriyum, I know 'Sing with Shivaangi' episode vandu romba naal aachu nu ellarum andavar kitta ketute irundeenga. Ippo naan vanduten with new episode. Yeahhhh." She clapped excitedly.

(Hello, everybody! How are you all? I know everyone was asking admin about 'Sing With Shivangi' show update. Now I am back with new episode.)

"Namba guest yaaru nu terinjuka ellarum ore aarvama irupeenga. Naan solren. " she giggled adjusting herself in the tall chair. "Ivar dan heartthrob of Tamil Nadu, illa India, illa illa world." She extended her arms for dramatic effect.

(Our guest for today is heartthrob of Tamil Nadu, no India, no in fact of whole world.)

"Let's welcome Mr.Ashwin Kumar."

Shivaangi clapped looking at Ashwin who was sitting in front of her.

"Yenn ma?" Ashwin asked lifting his palm in question. "Build up konjam over ah iruku." embarrassed by such high praise, he looked down and blushed.

(You praise me a lot)

"Adhu irukunga. Neenga Instagram la paathingala evlo fans nu?" she defended him to himself as usual. "Apdiye girls ellam urugaranga."

(You have many fans. Don't you check instagram? Girls are crazy about you.)

"Girls ellama?" he smiled. "Neenga sonna sariyadan irukum."

(Really! If you say so)

"Aan adhu." She nodded satisfied. "Aprom Ashwin eduku en show ku vandirukeenga?"

(So, Ashwin why are you in my show?)

"Adhu kooda teriyada unaku? Enna ma host nee?" he chuckled seeing her offended expression

(Don't you know it? What kind of host are you?)

"Hello! Idhu ennoda show. Ipdi ellam neenga enna inga kalaika koodadhu." she narrowed her eyes trying to intimidate him. "Naan yenna kekarano aduku mattum answer pannanum, okay va?"

(This is my show. You are not supposed to make fun of me. You should answer to whatever I ask you.)

"Enna ma meratra?" he pouted lightly. "Un show vanda ipdi dan meratuvaya guests-a ellam?"

(Why are you scolding me? Is this how you scare your guests?)

"Hey!!" she shook with laughter. "Apdi ellam illa Ashwineey. Naan romba pasamana host."

(Hey, I don't. I am a loving host.)

"Apdina pasama kelu appo dan naan badil solluven."

(Then ask me sweetly only then I will answer.)

"Okay okay." She calmed herself. "Naan kekaradhu kellam badil solluveengala Ashwineey?"

(Okay, will answer all my questions, Ashwin?)

"Aan apdi kekanum. Ipdi pasama kelu ma solren."

(Good. Ask kindly and I will answer.)

"Sollunga. En show ku eduku vandirukeenga?" she asked smiling

(So, tell me why are you here in my show?)

"Ennoda new album Criminal Crush promote panna."

(I am here to promote my album criminal crush)

"Criminal-ah? Crush-ah?" she asked

(Criminal or crush?)

"Crush aagi oru manasa tirudandala Criminal aaiten."

(I stole a girl's heart as her crush so I am a criminal now)

Shivangi clapped her hands. "Super super." She appreciated. "Teritenga Ashwiney."

(Good one)

"Edho unga nala." He murmured.

(Thanks to you)

"Unga album pathi sollunga."

(Tell us about your album)

Ashwin began to tell how important this album is as it was wonderfully composed by a specially challenged person. He had great things to share about their kind music director and encouraged people to support great talent like him.

"Makkale." The host spoke. "Idhu oru super song-u Godson super-ah music pannirukaru. Anirudhh" her eyes widened with admiration." Paadirakaru. Aprom en friend Srinisha paadiruka." She made a heart symbol with hands. "So, kandipa neenga poi kelunga super ah irukum."

(People! It is a wonderful song. Godson has given good music. Anirudh has sung it along with my friend Srinisha. So, please do watch the album.)

"Naanum dan nadichiruken. Neenga adha adikadi marandarreenga." He said subtly taking dig at how she didn't tag him while promoting the song in her Instagram handle even though the screen garb was clear shot of his face.

(Even I am part of it. You tend to forget it.)

Shivangi let his comment slide as she knew what he was talking about and looked down at the cue cards to check what she is supposed to ask next.

"Aan nyabagam vaniruchu." She said jumping in her seat. "En show ku vanda ellarum ennoda title song padanum."

(It is mandatory for guests to sing my title song.)

"Ma, yen ma? Unaku teriyada en voice evlo mosam nu?"

(I can't sing and you know that.)

"Adellam illa Ashwineey. Neenga super ah paadringa."

(That is not true. You sing so well)

"Kalaikaraya?" he asked

(Are you teasing me?)

"Enakaga paada maatingala?" she blinked her eyes innocently

(Won't you sing for me?)

"Unakaga dana avlo periya stage la paadnenae."

(I sang for you on a big stage, right?)

"Appo ingayum paadunga."

(Sing here as well)

As usual she convinced him to sing the lines with her. Being the reliable music teacher that she is, she sang along with him and made him comfortable. When he was done, she cheered him like he is the champion.

"Aduthadu dan important segment." She reminded him pointing at coffee shots placed in front of them on a table. "Naan unga kita questions kepen. Neenga correct-ah answer pannalaina idhu kudikanum. Okay va?"

(Next is an important segment. I will ask you some questions. If you don't give me right answers, then you will have to drink coffee shots.)

He nodded. "Appo nanum questions kekalama?"

(Shall I ask you questions as well?)

"Adellam illa. Idhu en show."

(No. This is my show.)

Before Ashwin could try and convince Shivangi, producer suggested from behind the camera that it will be great even if Shivaangi answers the questions, so she agreed.

"Okay, first question. " she picked her cue cards. "Unga album peru criminal crush dana? Appo unga crush yaaru?"

(First question. Your album is named criminal crush. Who is your crush?)

"Yen crush ah? Adellam yaarum illa."

(No one)

"Poi solladeenga."

(Don't lie.)

"Nejama ma. Crush ellam illa."

(I swear)

"Appo chinna vayasula?" He was about to say that he didn't have one, when she added, "Poi solla koodadhu naan unga interview la paathen neenga edho one side love irundudhu nu sonnenga."

(How about when you were young? Don't bother lying. I saw an interview where you confessed about one side love)

Ashwin gulped seeing her look at him with narrowed eyes as if she really wanted the answer and only truth. 'Tevai illama interview la vaya vittutena ?' he wondered.

(Did I unwontedly gave away many information in interview?)

"Adhu..." he dragged. "Romba varsham aachu ma. Anda ponnu ku ippo kalyanam ae aaidukum."

(It has been long. She might even be married now.)

"Ippo edum illaye?"

(You don't have one now, do you?)

"Unaku teriyadha?"

(Don't you know?)

Shivangi realizing that the ball was coming to her court immediately shifted her attention to next question.

"Nee sollu." He asked before she could pose next question. "Un crush yaaru?" he asked with a teasing smile and twinkle in his eyes.

(Tell me about your crush.)

"En crush pathi dan ooruke teriyume." She shrugged. "Arjun Das."

(Everyone knows about it. It is Arjunn Das)

"Oh!" Ashwin pretended to adjust his collar. "Apdiya? Okay."

(Oh! Okay)

Shivangi smirked as it was evident that he neither expected this answer nor liked it. His face was replica of how he looked when she said Pugazh anna was important in one of the episodes of their cooking show. Shivangi giggled at his very cute complaining face, before director prompted to ask next question.

"Ippo unga girlfriend ku oru paatu dedicate pannanum na..."he was about to interrupt when she added, "Future la. Okay va? Hypothetically. Neenga enna paatu paaduvenga?"

(When you have a girlfriend, in future, which song will you dedicate for her?)

"Adhu naan en girlfriend kitta dan paaduven. Avangaluku mattum taniya."

(I will only tell that to my girlfriend personally.)

"Appo enaku solla maatingala?"

(Won't you tell me?)

"Unaku teriyama eppudi aana show la solla maaten."

(I will let you know only, but not on record.)

Shivangi looked at him confused as she didn't know what his answer actually meant.

"Ahhnnn Seri." She decided to move on.

(Okay)

"Nee enna paatu paaduva?"

(Which song will you dedicate?)

"Naan vandu..." Shivangi was about to answer, but immediately decided against it. She was about to say 'Kalaba Kadhala' is the song which she will sing for her boyfriend. Her most favourite. But once she realized she has already sung it for Ashwin, she didn't know what to say.

(I....)

What was she even thinking dedicating that song to him on Television that was meant for her boyfriend?

Did she ever think when it came to him?

"Sollu ma. Oru singer ivlo yosikalama?"

(Tell me. You are a singer, right? You can't take so much time)

"Ahh.." she drawled bemused. "Naan um taniyave paadikaren."

(Oh! Even I will sing personally)

"Oh apporama taniya paadi kaatraya enaku?" he teased

(Oh will you sing for me separately?)

"Aama." She said, but once she understood the meaning of what he said, she lifted her head surprised. "Huh?"

"Illa show mudinjadhum off camera solraya nu keten."

(I mean will you let me know off camera?)

"Neenga enna eppovum romba confuse pandreenga Ashwineey. Namba indha rapid fire mudichukalam."

(You always confuse me Ashwin. Let us end this rapid fire.P

"Appo indha coffee shots?"

(What about these coffee shots?)

"Adellam keela oothiruvanga." She looked at the director with her cute lost puppy look.

(Team will take care of it)

On receiving nod from director and producer, Shivangi read out the closing note she prepared, thanked Ashwin for coming on her show and waved bye to the camera.

"Nalla host panna ma. " Ashwin appreciated as soon as the director called cut.

(You did well)

"Nalla irundhuda?" she asked hopefully

(Really!)

"Super ah irundudhu. Nee vera level talent po." He clapped. "Aana enna konjam meratra."

(You are too good. But you are scary.)

Shivangi answered him sincerely. "Adhu ellarayum ellam merata maaten."

(I will not scare other guests )

"Oh enaku mattum dan Rowdy side ah?" he asked smiling. "Parava illa. Nee enna mertanalo kalaichalo tappu illa."

(So this rowdy side is only for me? Cool, You can tease or scare me, I won't mind)

Ashwin decided to stay back for few minutes and thank the head of the production personally for all that she has done for him by merely making him part of the cooking show.

Ashwin was asked to wait in a cabin and was told that the head will arrive shortly. He tried to rope in Shivangi to wait along with him, but this place was like her own playground. She had something to say to everyone and was occupied chatting. So, he thought to speak to her before leaving and waited alone in the cabin.

Ashwin was scrolling through Instagram when he heard voices from adjacent room, he thought of zoning off until he heard his name being said.

"Anda aalu onnum innocent ellam illa. Inniku shoot paathaya? Pawam anda Shivangi ponnuku Ashwin flirt panradhu kooda puriyala."

(He doesn't seem innocent. Did you watch today's shoot? Poor Shivangi didn't realize Ashwin was trying to flirt with her)

Ashwin's heart literally stopped hearing those words. Yes, today he was the most excited. Their cooking show ending was very hard on his heart and he spent days mooning over it. Coming to Shivangi's show was the only light on the other side of the tunnel that kept him going. So, eventually when she was in front of him, he became the impulsive chap that he is with her and let go off his guard completely.

Did his indiscreet banter with her come out as flirty?

Ashwin cursed himself for not being more prudent. He vowed to be the voice of reason between them and now he has failed her and him. So far his impulsive side was unleashed only in front of her when they both were alone. Now, he has acted recklessly on a recorded show. What has he done?

"Che flirt ellam irukadhu." He heard another female voice. "Naan andha cooking show ku work pannen. Avaru pakka gentleman. Oru nimisham kooda anda ponnu kooda taniya iruka maataru yaaradhu tappa nenachruvangalo nu. Nalla aalu dan."

(He didn't flirt. I was part of the cooking show. He is a gentleman. He wouldn't even spend a minute alone with her fearing someone might question her. He is a good person.)

"Enaku ennamo unga media aalungalaye pruyaradhu illa ma. Andha singing show la ennada na oru paiyan andha ponnu dan supporter, koodave ninna nu solran. Cooking show la ivaru ennada na enna odacha, project panna nu solraru. Andha ponnu enna ivanga ellam eri pora aeni ah? Innocent ah kolanda maari iruka nu enna ellam pandringa?"

(I don't understand you media people. In singing show, that boy says she is his biggest support, she stands by him always. In cooking show, he says she broke his shell, projected him well. Is that girl ladder to their success? Are you all doing it because she is naive?)

"Sir, adellam script illa sir. Unmayave ellame friendship dan."

(It isn't scripted. They all are friends)

"Enaku adellam teriyadhu ma. Neeyum ponnu dana. Konjam anda ponnu kitta solli vei. Pasangala namba vendam nu. Inga evanum yogiyam illa."

(I don't know all that. Even you are a girl, tell her not to trust men. Men can be dangerous.)

"Sir, anda ponnu sagajama dan sir palagudhu. Romba sweet. Adha yaaradhu tappa nenacha avanga manasu dan kolaru. Apdi ellam yaarum advantage eduka naanga vida matom."

(Sir she is very casual with everyone. Very sweet. If anyone mistakes her behaviour, then it means their mind is corrupted. We will not let anyone take advantage of her.)

"Illa chinna ponnu dana aduku edhadhu puriyudho illayo. Adudan keten. En ponnu kum iruvadhu vayasu dan aachu. En ponna nenachu dan sonnen."

(She is very young. I have a daughter in same age. That is the reason I am concerned.)

"Adellam ungaluku eduku sir. Accounts department dana neenga. Receipts ku dana vandeenga. Naan eduthu taren."

(Sir, it is none of your concern. You are from Accounts department, aren't you? You are here for receipts and I will give it to you right away.)

Ashwin's mind went blank hearing this conversation. Thousands of thoughts and questions began to run in his mind.

"Andha ponnu enna ivanga ellam eri pora aeni ah?"

(Is that girl ladder to their success?)

These words kept ringing in his head. Is that what it seemed like?

Ashwin has spent lonely seven years without family or confidents. When someone new entered his life, he was initially sceptical. However, she had her own way to breaking his shield. He knew it was not for content. He knew she was genuine. Probably the only genuine person he has met in the last seven years. For everyone it was only a show, for him, it was his life. He lived every single moment with so much hope and admiration in his heart. She gave a new meaning to his existence. He didn't stop to think what the outside world thought about it.

"Andha singing show la ennada na oru paiyan andha ponnu dan supporter, koodave ninna nu solran."

(In singing show, that boy says she is his biggest support, she stands by him always. )

She is like a fairy who brings luck to everything she touches. So far Ashwin was in a bubble that he was the special chosen one to be bestowed with her enchanting presence in life. Was he delusional? Was he not the that special?

"Inga evanum yogiyam illa."

(Men can be dangerous)

Was he being one of those men? Of course he was. Didn't he act juvenile in proposing her the first instant they were alone? He takes pride in being mature and thoughtful. Has he not done the most impulsive thing without first trying to know what she really felt for him?

"Sir, anda ponnu sagajama dan sir palagudhu. Adha yaaradhu tappa nenacha avanga manasu dan kolaru."

(Sir she is very casual with everyone. If anyone mistakes her behaviour, then it means their mind is corrupted.)

It is true. She was always very kind to him, but never has she expressed interest beyond mere infatuation. It was him who fell for her irrevocably. Probably she only saw him as a well wisher like she announced on award show.

Her shaken expression in Ooty came back to his mind as a hard reality check.

Maybe she truly doesn't feel anything for him or anyone else for that matter. She considers everyone as a friend.

It was him being overly emotional. She even confessed openly that she was not sure if she liked him. It was him and his stupid heart that still thinks a scorched soul like him has a chance with an angel like her.

Ashwin's head ached with severity that he hasn't experienced in a while. He held his head and bent down trying to ease the pain.

He cursed himself for being such a douche to a girl who has paved way for so much love in his life. He should have known that he is not going to be so lucky to have her in his life permanently.

Ashwin craved for familiarity of his home. Not having the heart to stay there anymore, he excused himself and left from the building ignoring the 'Ashwineey' that called behind him in her sweet voice.

***

You all are allowed to be angry and heartbroken. All I can say is that kulu kulu moments are just on the way. I have three years of experience in writing romantic stories, so trust me.

Check out my new story 'Lonely Hearts' if you haven't already.

https://youtu.be/TCl73CL2h3s