Disclaimer : The characters aren't fictional, but the story is.

I know I have told on more than one occasion that I will not write fan fiction on real life people, but these two have been running in my mind for a while now that for my own peace of mind, I had to pen down everything in my mind.

Translation of Tamil dialogues added for benefit of non-Tamil speaking readers.

***

In his thirty years of existence, Ashwin Kumar could swear that twenty five years, at the least, were spent in full comprehension of what he was doing. He has never been extremely impulsive or inexplicably stupid until five minutes ago. All thanks to one child woman.

A cooking show is not a man's forte that is what everyone who he consulted before signing up for the second season of a very popular cooking reality show said. That was such a sexist thing to say considering even the judges of the show were two incredible men who touched greatest heights in the field of cooking. People thought it was better if he just accepted the call for Big Boss. How that will work for someone reserved like him is questionable.

Ashwin saw this show as an opportunity to strike a chord with audience because his previous shows have hardly garnered him any fan base. Also, more months without any step forward in professional front, after corona, he is going to go mad.

His mother was the only one who had encouraging things to say. She teasingly said if not anything he would at least get few marriage proposals by flaunting his cooking skills on television. How powerful universe's ears has to be because her phone has been ringing constantly ever since.

Ashwin was sure that marriage wasn't in cards for at least another couple of years. In fact, five months ago, even women weren't in cards, until a certain woman burrowed into his heart and mind unbeknownst to him.

This same woman is the one who made him act impulsive.

This show has given him much more than he wished for, including many firsts that he was afraid was going to remain just a dream. So, he had no hard feelings when he was crowned the first runner up. It was anyway a win-win for him. However, a certain doll that was his lucky charm throughout was displeased.

As force of habit, his gaze first flicked towards her when his name was announced as runner up one. Her eyes that usually widens with hint of adoration and mirth when someone says his name was depraved of any of those emotions. His heart sank at the look of her despair.

Should he have tried a little harder? Maybe added a pinch of salt more, a minute more of cook time, set the oven a minute less or presented the dish more decoratively.

What could he do to just go back in time and change things so that he could win this for her?

He saw the person beside her nudge her as the camera focused in their direction. It wouldn't do for someone in a neutral position like her to feel for a particular contestant. She immediately put on a smile. But, Ashwin knew that the damage was done. He has broken her heart by not winning it for her.

For some reason, her despair hurt him more than his own lose. All the rejections, all failures of seven years seemed simpler in front of letting her down one time in show that has otherwise given him the world.

Two hours later, when final good byes were being said half heartedly, Ashwin managed to find himself in a corner with her.

"Nee okay va ma?"

(Are you okay?)

She turned to look at him with a dejected face.

"Sorry Ashwinnney!!"

(Sorry, Ashwin)

"Nee eduku sorry solra?"

(Why are you sorry?)

"Naan dana ungala distract pannen illati dish nalla vandirukum."

(I am the one who distracted you. Otherwise, you would have won in finals.)

He couldn't argue on that. She indeed was a distraction, but definitely not the kind that stops him from doing his best. She was the kind that keeps his heart and mind on track, the one that makes him see his destination clearly.

"Apdi ellam illa ma. Epdiyum Kani dan win pannuvanga nu teriyum. Enaku ivlo dooram vandade santhosham." She was still not convinced. She looked at him with her signature hundred blinks a minute that made him chuckle involuntarily.

(That is not true. It was evident that Kani was going to win. I am happy to have come this far. )

"Yen Ashwin-u sirikaringa?" She asked innocently

(Why are you laughing, Ashwin?)

"Naan finals varaikum vandade unnala dan. Aduku naan thanks sollanum."

(I am in finals because of you. I want to thank you for that.)

"Apdi yellam illa. Neenga vera level. Adan finals vandutinga." She lowered her gaze. "Naan illaina finals jeichirupeenga."

(That's not true. You are talented. So you are in finals. If it wasn't for me, you would have won.)

He wouldn't have wanted that victory. It was best to lose with her than to win without her.

He knew no matter what he says she won't be convinced. She is the kind of person who wished to work beside him in spite of getting stitches in finger. She is that strong. So, he knew if someone like her was going to be upset, it meant how deeply she feels. It is not going to be easy to bring back his Rowdy Don.

And that is when he did the most impulsive thing.

"Seri nee enkooda veliya variya? Brekafast ku?"

(Do you want to come out with me? For breakfast?)

The words had left his mouth before he could think it through. It was six in the morning. Early for breakfast but not an absurd idea. It was not about what he suggested, it was how he suggested. Like he was almost asking her out.

Knowing her, she wouldn't put two and two to get five, but if his heart had been even half as innocent as hers, his mind wouldn't be in such a soup.

Her eyes that were dull a minute ago widened with glee. A huge smile spread on her lips.

"Namba rendu perum mattum ah?"

(Two of us?)

That was his moment to say no. Make it a group think and not a scantily asked out date. But, his senses chose the exact moment to take a back seat and he nodded affirmatively.

She jumped and clapped her hands like a five year old that she is at heart.

"Super!" She muttered to herself as she began to collect her belongings. "Ippove polam."

(Let's go already)

Ashwin registered how she announced she was going for breakfast and rushed out of the set with a hand wave at no one in particular. Ashwin thanked his lucky stars that everyone was too busy reminiscing to pay any heed to her or the fact that he quietly slipped out behind her.

Ashwin's heart beat mile a minute as they walked towards his car. It was a film studio and people were going on with their regular work. He knew he was no superstar that people are going to stop and see what he was doing. There is unwritten rule about media fraternity not engaging in futile gossip. As much as his name trended with hers all over social media, they were still far away from being mobbed in studios like film stars. So, that wasn't his concern.

He mainly worried about where he was going to take her. They can be unseen inside studio, but not in the outside world where everyone with a phone and instagram account was a reporter.

He has always been a person who feared his reputation. Now even more, because he would hate for anyone to point fingers at her.

Ashwin was lost in his thoughts when a familiar white vehicle stopped in front of him. Until then, he didn't know he knew her car and its registration number by heart.

What else has his heart been hiding from him?

"Appa!" she sprinted towards her father as soon as he got out of the car.

(Dad!)

Ashwin stood rooted in place unsure what to do. He fidgeted with his fingers as he stood awkwardly wondering if he should walk away like he had other things to do or greet her father.

Like every other time, she had no qualms in putting him in a spot.

"Appa naanga rendu perum breakfast ku poga poram."

(Dad we both are going out for breakfast)

Yes, she has to say that to her father making Ashwin wish the ground beneath opened and swallowed him.

A father is the last person a man wants to see when he was planning to take out a girl even if it is for something as simple as breakfast.

Krishnakumar looked at Ashwin with a straight face that was hard to read.

"Adhu naanga...taniya illa..... elaarum....even Pugaz varuvan..." Ashwin blabbered and immediately bit his lips when the older man turned towards his daughter.

(We... not alone... with others....even Pugaz will join...)

"Enaku velai iruku. Unna drop pannitu veliya ponum."

(I have some work. I have to be somewhere after dropping you home.)

She turned to him with a pout. He only nodded unsure what that even meant. Her father went back to the car, while she walked towards him dejected.

"Appo poga matoma?"

(Won't we go out?)

Could anyone ever master the art of saying no to her?

"Innoru naal polam."

(Maybe some other day.)

"Ponga Ashwiney." Her voice told him that she didn't trust his promise.

(Forget it, Ashwin)

He wouldn't blame her. He has always maintained a distance in all possible ways. It was his natural instinct to protect himself. For first one month, he was convinced that it was all scripted concept for TRP. The next he spent in awe as he has never seen such a pure soul in his life. Third and fourth month were spent selfishly taking all the love he was bestowed upon. And last few days in contemplating his own heart.

All this while, he didn't realize what she was undergoing. Did she consider his indifference as rejection? For his sake, he hoped not. Yes, he was guarded, indecisive, but when he was in it, he felt deeply.

With his unstable career and her young age, they cannot afford to be reckless. At least one of them has to be the matured one no matter how much they have to put a leash on heart, mind and body. For her sake, he was willing to take up the tough job.

The white car zoomed past them and Ashwin stood with his hands in his pocket suddenly realizing he no more has shoot as an excuse to see her.

***

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